So I started a young adult group at my church
And I've spent hundreds of dollars buying food and supplies and many hours setting up, announcing it, advertising it, cleaning, taking down
And tonight the arch bishop came
And he asked who started it
And someone said "it was father peter, he saw there was a need for one and he created it"
Farther Peter is the priest I pitched the idea to. He was standing there and he just took all the credit for it right in front of me.
When I pitched him the idea he told me it would be my project and I was responsible for all the details which I've taken care of. And he just took all the credit in that moment. The bishop now knows that there is an adult meeting group every Sunday and has no sweet clue who I am or how much work I put into it and he'll give full thanks to this priest.
I'm uhh... Fucking livid
And I want to never go again and let them pay for everything and do all the work
It's a big enough group now that surely someone will be able to take on my role
But it sucks leaving something I built from the ground up.
I just can't believe how much work and investment I've done only for someone else to sign their name on the finished product right in front of me.
Should I just quit: / change churches? I'm so fucking mad
Welcome to the kind of world that is created when you don't say anything during such an occasion and let dicks take the credit for you.
It happens all the time.
Your only real recourse is to throw a bitch fit at the correct moment or forever hold your butthurt.
That's pretty irritating, who was it that shouted the other guy did it? Did they know you?
Do you participate in the event or just help advertise and fund it? Your lack of presence around the actual event may be why if so. People would just show up, see everything set-up and assume whoever is there did it all.
Based on the use of 'father' and 'bishop', I'm assuming it's a Catholic church? I'm not fond of Catholicism honestly, but based on my experiences, there seems to be a huge power trip and gap among the staff. I don't know, it's up to you on the decision to stay or leave honestly.
Unfortunately, you made a decision to say nothing in that instance, and you let peter walk all over you. You see now if you try to say something you will just come off as a jealous asshole, and it seems like you getting any recognition for your efforts were squandered.
It's up to you but all I know is that I wouldnt stay at that fucking church after that lol
>op is surprised organized anything has an agenda.
Your going to be dissapointed at any church. In my experience organizations are full of shit. Things now like meetup.Com, you can make something you control and you feel gives the message you want.why do you feel you have to play by a church's rules?
Yeah, the reality is that I won't work with or alongside a liar - but I was considering just dropping out of it instead of having a confrontational relationship with the priest
I not only participate but I tend to lead group discussions and I also curate the movie we watch and supply my own television and provide food. Since I'm in charge I have a 100% attendance rate as wel, and I'm the only one who can say that
I didn't want to seem jealous or that I crave recognition - I wasn't sure how to handle the situation
I was just blown away at how it played out
Also: the girl that blurted it out was a knowitall type that doesn't want to see me as leading anything.
She gives away the food I bring to the homeless without asking me and pats herself on the back for her generosity
>Also: the girl that blurted it out was a knowitall type that doesn't want to see me as leading anything.
>She gives away the food I bring to the homeless without asking me and pats herself on the back for her generosity
Oh well you found the source of the problem. I'd confront her about it honestly. If she acts like an asshole, I'd explain to the group next time you feel as if you're not getting respect by certain persons and plan to leave the group. See their reaction and base your next move on that.
My parents work with a bible study group and there's so much stupid drama I don't know how they deal with it.
I definitely gotta talk to someone
I'll think on it this week and make the call next Sunday
I'm supposed to host another movie night next week which means bringing my flat screen and picking a movie and leading a discussion and bringing food... But if someone else gets the thanks for it I might just pass and see how they do without me
I'm just being bitter now.. But that's where I'm at
Church drama is unique because there's a lot of love there and typically people don't want to fight but it happens and it's more passive aggressive beta fighting than anything else
You need to speak with the priest. There is a chance he feels remorse or even set the record straight in private, speaking highly of you.
If that's not the case, you are free to confront him as being a liar, because at that point you will have nothing to lose by finding another church.
If the latter is the case, every man who's ever done anything for anybody has a story like this. Take it as a life lesson but try not to beat yourself up and don't let it harden you to what good there is in the world.
Honestly, this is not uncommon in business. I've worked in both the pharma and nonprofit sectors, and I've seen what you've described played out so many times. Take this as a learning lesson as it's unlikely the last time you'll see something like this, and it's important to know how to fix the problem strategically. Don't walk way from your investment and hard work because of some snot.
First off, don't spend your own money on things like this UNLESS you consider that your tithe/donation or whatever you call it. And at that point you shouldn't expect recognition. End of story.
As for getting recognition for your work, decide who matters and why getting recognition matters. In a lot of cases, managers will always get credit for the things their "underlings" do. Since you pitched the idea to Father Peter, he may feel like he deserves the credit since he feels he headed the project in some way. This is likely especially if he doesn't know about all the work that went into it. Try to let him in on all the work you did. If you've been keeping him up to date, then just bypass him completely and go to the arch bishop:
What you should do is use the fact that this arch bishop has no idea who you are. Often, the best way to cement recognition in a role is to ask your higher ups for help. Approach the arch bishop yourself and ask for his guidance about the young adult group that YOU CAME UP WITH and that YOU ARE HEADING (come up with some legitimate questions and concerns - you can even bring up funding if you want). If he has a decent memory, he'll probably ask if it's the same group that Father Peter started. Just answer the same way you did in the OP: that you pitched your idea to Father Peter and that he okayed it. And that you've done all the work since then.
Don't bother confronting blabber mouth or Father Peter if they really are being assholes to you. Just make sure the people that matter (the arch bishop) know who's really doing all the work.
Advice: Burn father Peter's house, make him watch you butchering his mother, wife and children. Destroy his eyes, cut his tongue, chop-off his finger and toes, kill his ears, then let him live the rest of his life in darkness. God does not forgive him.
> I have 100% faith in God
Then you've obviously disappointed him/her and Father Peter was rewarded for being a better person than you.
After all, doesn't God's will guide the hand of man?
I don't think you stand to gain anything from leaving. In the future, remember that reputation is everything. It's even okay to have an ego. You do realize that Jesus got his name out there, right? It's not like he's some unnamed messiah. In fact his reputation is critical to the aspect of Christianity that involves being like him. If anything it takes a lot of work to stay in the shadows when doing something good. Stop doing that. Let people notice you. Let there be no mistake in anyone's eyes.
This is great advice, thanks for writing it out for me. Whether I use it in this instance at church or not, I will preemptively use it at church and at the office in the future.
Yeah exactly, I was fine receiving nothing in return when no one was but now that someone else appears to own my hard work I feel injury
No not at all. Man has totally free will and the choice to follow the words of Jesus Christ or not. That's a fundamental concept of Christianity. Much suffering in the world is due to free men exercising their free will contrary to the words of peace and charity and love to your neighbor given to us by Jesus, and God won't do anything to stop that.
>not a Christian, but you have seriously no understanding of Christianity if you don't know this.