Okay i'm 29, a virgin, masturbate 3 to 5 times a day, makes me angry frustrated and really want sex but I have no clue how to get it safely, All my friends just point me to see a therapist.
So my question is for those who has a similar experience as I do and/or have went to a therapist I would like to know how the experience was for you. Did they help? What did they do? Worth seeing or not?
Can't stop fapping. It's a habit that's very hard to break for long and I blame most of that on my reawakened sexual desires which resulted on my masturbating for the very first time ever last year.
Sexual frustration is normal.
Normally someone's sexual frustration turns into attempts to getting laid in their teen years, but you either never tried or have some physical or mental handicap.
My advice would be to be a sex doll and get more out of your fapping.
I enjoyed it the first few times I ever did it, now I don't enjoy it at all, it's just an annoying habit that just makes me curious to have sex more and makes me angry that I just fapped again instead of get laid. And no it's not interfering with my life. I mostly only do it at home during the morning and finish off the rest at night when I can't keep myself distracted anymore or when I get in a bad mood about something or when I'm bored.
My hands are actually quite long. I've had experience using them to make a woman cum more than a few times thank you. I was just a stupid naive idealistic fool back then and it stopped me from going all the way.
Yeah because you fucking touched your dick so many times you're addicted to the chemical release in your head.
Just stop touching it. No more. Hands off. Do something else.
No I was just an asexual during my teens and I never masturbated at all cause I never knew how at the time nor did I care to find out. I only masturbated last year when I came really close to getting laid but I couldn't get it up and I got scared that I was go impotent so I fapped for the first time and.......thats when my mental problems started.
dude, instead of occupying your time with masturbating, get out there & socialize with your mates or something man. Occupy that time with something more beneficial. Go work out, pick up a hobby & make more friends through it. Sure enough, you'll find her
I've tried that. During the day I can get by just fine not doing it so much, but once I get off work and come home that's when I'm most vulnerable and tv and video games don't hold my attention for too long.
I work out during the day and a little bit at night, it's.....still not enough to hold my attention for too long. In fact if anything it just makes me even more horny and want to masturbate but I do notice my body getting toned.
My friends all moved and the last two friends I have are moving out of state soon.
And what other hobbies do you suggest?
Meaning what exactly? I was perfectly fine during my teen I just had no huge interest in getting laid like my friends and while I had chances I shrugged them off and was just content with making the girls come with my hands and other stuff.
No more half ass trying. If you find that you are getting bored, take a walk.
Shake it once, that's fine
Shake it twice, that's ok
Shake it three times, you're playing with yourself again.
well, I've been in your state before, so it's completely understandable, the sexual desire. Personally, I've been getting into drawing & attending digital design classes (met my current girl bestie there, ps i'm a guy haha). I'm also currently working, so on the side of all this, I've been studying (not attending classes though), just reading books & online resources on Psychology & Astronomy. I've been interested in both topics since a young age but never got to explore them given my hectic school schedule back then. So bro, as a suggestion, maybe revisit your childhood & pick up hobbies or interests you had back then. All the best & good luck, hopefully you'll be able to shake this sexual desire off.
Ah thats what I used to do back before it became full on masturbation. I would still touch and stroke a bit but even when I went for long periods I felt nothing so I would stop.
And how can I take a walk in the middle of the night? Like I said it's alot easier for me to manage during the day but once nighttime comes and I get off work it's a different story.
Plus for the next two weeks I'm gonna take my first vacation off work with this issue and if possible I'd like to use this has a chance to try to not do it so much but who knows if I'll be able to the entire two weeks.
Heh great advice. I've actually been trying to get back into my foreign languages studies and writing hobby again since this issue started and while it's been fun reconnecting it's still proving to be a difficult habit to break.
Also I don't wanna shake the sexual desire off I just want to either control it so it's not effecting me as badly or I want to release it in someone.
Anyone can take a walk in the middle of the night in a free country as an over 18 year old. How? Move your feet instead of your dick. Also be sure to get enough protein in your diet and drink water.
Wot the adive here is dire.
If you obnly started masturbating recently, I suggest you continue, a lot. You will notice increased semend production, increased power, and increased enjoyment.
The trouble is this is adicting, and You will find yourself masturabating to fulfill that need- whereas the biological imptous driving this is the need to impregnate women of breeding age.
As sch you should masturbate so that you are physically ready for the challenge. Not just for pure pleasure (which is what I do :/ )
Then you should go out, meet women, and have sex with them, for pure pleasure.
Eventually you will find the right woman, and decide to start a family with her.
tl:dr- frequent masturbation increases your sexual desire and sexual endurance, both of which are important to pleasure and future breeding.
Ugh......But each time I finish masturbating it just makes me angry,depressed and more hungry for sex. and I hear frequent masturbation doesn't effect the actual sex act itself other than KNOWING the signs of when you're about the cum It's not like it truly increases your endurance especially at my age does it?
Oh okay that's reasonable enough.
Uh I'm actually considering that one of these days but oh god I am not looking forward to how embarrassing it would be to buy those from a sex shop.
Also you've clearly identified masturbation as the source of your problems. So work to cut it out. It's a no-brainer. There are sites out there that block out porn sites, download one and have it block porn sites on your computer and your phone. The time that you spend fapping can be used to learning a skill like learning how to draw or going out and getting a gf.
Will you take any of these steps? I doubt it but you'll be taking steps, I used to be just like you, fapped 3-5 times a day, while I've admittedly not completely kicked my addiction I've toned it down to 3-5 times a week, I went running the other day and I felt better than the high I've ever gotten from fapping.
Stop making excuses, and stop falling for idiots who tell you fapping is good for your health because it isn't, you know it and so do they. Your addiction to porn is what has you so socially inept.
Stopping completely will be impossible no matter what even if I get laid. But it'll at least stop me from doing it as much. Running is great yes and I do that occasionally when its nice out and I don't feel like driving to and back from work but......when I get home I still get that urge..
And I don't really need porn to fap either, I certainty didn't need it when I had my first orgasm that's for sure, my imagination helps alot too. Porn just gives me me scenarios and ideas for my imagination that's all.
>thinking you will be able to get a girl to fuck you
good luck dude. Girls can sense when you fap too much.
Want to be better with women? Stop fapping. Seriously, stop fucking fapping. You're destroying your ability to get women. You can also give yourself premature ejaculation problems, erectile dysfunction, and more.
If you fap too much, even if you are able to get a girl in bed with you, chances are you won't be able to get hard. and if you do, you'll cum in five seconds then not be able to get hard again all night because of your lack of sexual energy.
Of course I have quite a bit actually. Best place I visited were florida and Minnesota. In comparison to every other place I've been Ohio straight up sucks but it's also really cheap....
No some things you just no about yourself, like I'll definitely be able to hold back if I have something to replace the strong urge to masturbate like something that either gives me the same reaction as the end of a masturbation session or sex.
Too bad. If it was VA, I'd take you for a date. AND, I'm not even terrible looking. So that's a plus.
Ohio isn't the worst place to be in, trust me, I really hope shit gets better for you, OP.
Masturbation is straight up not a problem.
If you are new to masturbation OF COURSE you will find it making you
> angry,depressed and more hungry for sex
This is NOT a bad thing.
Desire for sex in the simplest terms is the desire to breed.
You need to take that desire, and harness it.
You need to go out into the wider world, and practice with women. Simple as.
You need to learn how to talk to people, all people.
You need to learn how to talk to a woman that interests you, so that you can sex her.
You need to sex women, until you are good at it.
Eventually you will find a woman after, spendinfg time with many, that you want to stay with.
Unless you are a devout christian, in which case you wi9ll wait for god, to shake his mighty hand and place you with a woman that is yours and, yours to make children with.
Seriously. Masturbation is NOT a problem unless it distracts you from actually being with women. [This is a problem for chronic masturbatory addicts - which is most of 4chan]. Masturbation is a healthy release of emotion and tension. Masturbation will increase your awareness of your own body and your own sexual desire. This WILL help you in understanding your personal limits and what you can share with a person you are attracted to.
There is always room for further exploration and learning.
This is best carried out with a a loving parner.
it is true, girls can sense when a guy jacks himself too much.
when you meet a guy, you look at his eyes first. a guy that doesn't masturbate often is more confident, talks to you better, and makes it more clear that he's interested in you.
I can tell when a guy jacks it too much because the ones that do are all insecure as hell. they don't make eye contact, they're probably in their heads thinking too much, and they just give off a vibe that they're "drained."
I dated a guy once who jacked it way too much, and he eventually lost all his confidence and we couldn't even have fun together anymore. He stopped masturbating, and he turned into a womanizer....all my friends fell in love with him, they always complimented how confident he was and a few of them even started getting a crush on him. I got really jealous.
I think what that poster meant was that girls can sense your level of energy, and sexual drive.
This is interesting.
I work my bone alot.
I'm aware that girls can sense this.
But it's a turn off? Girls don't like the idea of being the one to - how to put it - save this guy from working himself to death?
Interesting.....Soooo girls find guys who jerk it alot a turn off? Why exactly? Would that just means he's hungry to be set free from his addiction? Plus virgins tend to keep doing so until they start having sex right?
That's why I say you need to start taking steps towards moderating it.
You can't say, "OH NO GUISE I FAP TOO MUCH" and then keep fapping, at some point the jig is up and you just have to flat out stop, if you don't want to then you'll keep being addicted, also saying that it is impossible is another thing that will hinder you.
This is the kind of stupidity and excuses I was referencing. Saying masturbation isn't a problem is the sort of thing that enables men to get addicted to it.
Dude I've tried stopping countless times, and the longest I've gone was 2 days after on the third day I get hit with a TON of sexual desire and urges and my body gets hot that it becomes EXTREMELY hard not to fap.
Seriously I truly believe once I have sex and if it truly feels ten times better than fapping it'll make it ALOT easier to moderate the issue if it doesn't actually stop it completely.
Having sex won't make it feel sufficiently better that you stop masturbating.
You will have to meter your own amount of masturbation regardless of whether you're havin sex or not, it all comes down to your personal drive.
There is addiction and there is requirement. I get the impression you are relatively "new" to masturbating, honestly give it a year orf jerking it like it's your new toy, you will understand what is good, what is bad, and what your endurance is. You will start to gain control. You will be able to stop jerking the gherkin for as long as you want, based on your self control. You will be able to choose if you want to stop tugging or not. It's really not hard to go "no fap" it's all about choice and commitment. But if this i your first soiré into pumping it, you shoudl let it run its course for a while, so that you get a handle on how driven you are to bust each one out.
virgin like mary will remain so till death desu will never pay for sex or cheat
Ugh but its like I keep saying each time I masturbate it just leaves me depressed angry and hungry for actual sex. I've been doing this for a year now so yeah I am pretty new but just do not like the feelings I get after I masturbate yet it's hard for me to just cut it off completely for more than two days.
And seriously sex with a actual human being as opposed to your own hand HAS to feel significantly different to the point that it would make masturbation feel pitiful for comparison....
dude it's because you're rewiring your brain.
When you jack off, you get endorphins. It feels good, so you do it again. Over and over again, daily, like a drug.
You have to break your addiction.
Masturbating isn't bad, but doing it too much is.
Read the Multi-orgasmic man: sex secrets every man should know. google the pdf, it's very helpful. it's a book about knowing when to cum and when not to cum.
If you're 17-20 years old: don't cum more than once every four days.
Trust me dude. On that fourth day, you'll enjoy it way more too. and you won't feel like shit after or the next day.
If you can do two days, you can do four days.
Every ten years you have to cum less and less often to maintain your sexual energy at a good level.
Go for four days without fapping, then fap on the fourth day as a reward. Then do another four days of no fapping. You'll be amazed at how much energy and confidence you gain.
good luck. It's worth it.
But it doesn't feel good. It felt GREAT the first couple of times I did it and that was back before I started doing it alot I remember it felt like my body was being electrocuted and I felt numb during that time.
Now it's just a meh feeling and I ooze instead of shoot.
I would love to refrain myself which is why I'm hoping these next two weeks may make it more likely and your idea and that book you suggested does sound intriguing.
Still like I said I'm gonna try to see if I can refrain for a whole two weeks or at least a week. If I break then I'll try your pattern.
Alright. I'm 30. My masturbatory habits are thus:
I tend to cum 3 times a day for about 7 days, until I feel drained. Then I cut down (without purposefuly mitigating myself) to about once per 2 days for a few days... until /THE DRIVE/ kicks back in... usually this coincides with a firday/saturday/weekend wher i'm either jacking it like fury after being drunk, or having had sex from a night out. I'm then good to go with 3-5 ejacs per day for a week. Then I need to cool off again.
On occasion I will purposefullly stop for an indefinate time-frame (until I get bored)- then I will immediately return to 3-5 times per day, and then time off.
This is my natural cycle.
You too will have a natural cycle, its directly dependent on your testicles, no lie.
The frequency and amount of sprem they produce directly correlates to your need to cause an emission.
Get used to it son, because it aint going away. Your body is hard-wired for this, and your body is going to hard-wire your brain by force to accept and deliver,
In times gone by, in the nimal world, you would be fucking bitches during your on time regardless. This is truth. How the fuck do you think the human race achieved 7 billion, despite prophilactics.
This as a male human instict that has never beeen supressed.
You are going to feel "regret" for a time during your initial understanding of it, eventually you will accept it as a natural bodily urge.
Forcing yourself to not ejaculate for a number of days will help you establish a mental control of the endorphin release and establish control over it, but the natural desire to do it will always be present.
In times past males would accept it or join groups like the castrati (romans who had their balls removed and became protectors of women).
This is nothing new.
Today, it is all down to your self control and medication.
This is why as a society we should have some form of sanctioned outlet for it, women on heat willing to help men on heat.
>This is why as a society we should have some form of sanctioned outlet for it, women on heat willing to help men on heat.
LOL Well we have that it's called escorts and prostitution. The problem is this is frown upon in most countries and quite risky and illegal.