help me /adv/
ive been cheating on my gf for months with different girls and i feel pretty terrible about it.
It started when my gf stopped having sex with me for months due to psychological issues. She would turn me down constantly. I felt ugly, resentful, unattractive. We had lots of talks but it took 5 months for things to get back normal. Things are back to normal now. But we still don't have as much sex as I want(I have a high sex drive). I'm also incredibly terrified of commitment and scared of falling too in love with her; this makes me feel a little more comfortable, and deeper down I'm a pathetically lonely person and I have no one in my life except my gf...90% of it is just for human companionship because I have no friends. And she keeps gaining weight. Over 30 lbs. She's 200 lbs right now and she looks like she's getting bigger.
ever since my first who I loved dearly cheated on me I've never been the same or able to trust women. It hurt me immensely and I use this as psychological protection in case my partner does it to me.
>ive been cheating on my gf for months with different girls and i feel pretty terrible about it.
Didn't even have the read the rest. Tell her what you did and then kill yourself. Don't forget to tell her first though, otherwise she'll feel sad after you die.
Let me get this straight. You say you feel bad about this then immediately follow up with a list of justifications for your shitty behavior that you already know is wrong? What exactly do you need help with?
You can't use your ex cheating on you and the fact that you have no friends or your girlfriend gaining weight as an excuse here.
She had psychological issues and worked through them/talked to you about them to try to make the relationship work. You sound like you have more issues on your own than she does, desu.
If you loved her, you'd respect her, bottom line. Cut the self-pity and pathetic attitude here and just break up with her and work on yourself before you jump into a relationship again and fuck anyone else over. Newsflash: you can still live your pathetic life and fuck all the girls you want without fucking anyone else over until you're ready to settle down and work out your own damn issues. But don't try to justify it.
>What exactly do you need help with?
I don't think I'll be able to be a in healthy relationship bc of the lack of trust I've developed with women. Many of my formative experiences with women were incredibly traumatic to say the least.
I loved my first gf and was very loyal but became filled with so much mistrust and anger and fear I can't let go. My gf is a loyal but I still am paranoid about her loving other men or leaving me and breaking up with me. It's not a mental justification it's something I'm actually anxious about from time to time.
>you can still live your pathetic life and fuck all the girls you want without fucking anyone else over until you're ready
I have real feelings for her. Also I would be losing my best friend. She's the only person I spend time with.
You can't blame this on women and you can't keep screwing your gf over because of it. Everyone gets fucked over by someone. Be it male, female, whatever. The world is full of people who might hurt you but by not getting past that you are acting EXACTLY like your ex to a girl who never deserved it.
If she truly is your best friend, treat her with respect.
You're playing the victim and using your girlfriend as a crutch here. Either grow up and dedicate yourself to being with only her and working on your problems TOGETHER or leave. Stop doing this to the one person that cares about you the most.
Also I wanna add that you'll never fix this or be happy unless you start believing that this is something that you CAN fix and become more confident in yourself and take responsibility for your actions. This isn't just a gf problem, it seems to be affecting all other areas of your life as well.
I go on a date once a month, maybe, tops. I usually just end the date and leave.
I don't feel very desired in my relationship and I feel my gf takes me for granted. I buy her a bunch of things and treat her really well.
My gf also does not care for her body despite talks, diet help, offers to workout together. She gained 30+ lbs during our relationship and is at 200 lbs. she qualifies as obese BMI.
I'm okay with her body but I wish she'd get back down to "chubby" at least because this is too much.
you'll find someone else, bro
dump her as an honest man would, and quit sleeping around like a jackass. you'll only damage your image before an actual keeper comes along and gets repulsed by your huge loose asshole.
if you can get laid you are no true loner. i believe in you dude.
Don't worry OP, I got cheated on once too and I've treated every girlfriend I've had since like shit! I guess you could say one rotten apple spoils the whole barrel. It's karma. They still stay with me too.