I want to give a compliment to a guy that he'll hopefully remember. Something to really make him happy.
Ideas? (Though of course I won't tell him anything which isn't true - but I think most good tings you could say to a person is probably true for him, in my mind)
I was thinking like "you're the sexiest man I've ever met". How's that?
Yeah, complimenting him on his size really gives an ego boost.
Though if you want to go a little deeper (especially if he's your boyfriend), you could always say something that implies that you see him as the only male in the world. Sometimes how people see us counts more than what we are in fact. But that might work for me because I'm an insecure cunt.
So, your best bet?
Find out what is he insecure about, and compliment him on that aspect. You will melt his heart.
I think he's insecure about his height [being too small], but there's no complimenting that, is there?
I don't want to compliment him on his downwards regions because I think it's average or less and he surely knows this and would know I'm faking a compliment. So I fear it would be counter-productive.
Talk about how you melt when you look into his eyes or you're constantly dripping down to your knees with love juice when you hear his voice. Whatever you say make sure you say it upfront, don't beat around the bush.
don't say anything about how smart he is. I've gotten this from various girls in the past and it doesn't work as you might think
telling dudes how caring/sweet they are is also not that dandy since it doesn't fit into the age-old boring stereotype of machoness bullshit
elaborate on that in some way; perhaps something he does turns you on; tell him what that is and how it gets you going, and say it like you mean it, in a sexy way
aka tickle dat ego
What I think is sexy is among others, and perhaps most of all, how he's so sweet during sexual stuff, like asking me if I'm comfortable with the next step, etc.
Should I mention that or not?
(Considering you said I shouldn't mention sweet stuff, but then on the other side I should develop on the sexyness)
Are you okay with lying or no. Know though once you start the lie you have to die with the lie.
Compliment the angle his penis hits at. That its literally poking your most sensitive spot and that its perfect for that. Say it in a way so he understands that if it werent his dick, this wouldnt be possible.
But in general stroke the mans ego gently. Not blatant things that are a lie or generic like being teh sexiest man alive.
Like I lifted weights a LOT for track and had a decent build. Athletic ottermode and what not. I was confident in my body but felt my hands were too rough from callouses. I actually felt bad rubbing her body because of this.
She once made the comment that shes never had a guy touch her like me and I rebutted with how unpleasant my hands much feel. When she said she was really attracted to how manly my hands were it melted away my insecurity.
Point being it wasnt the grand gesture of me being the best that made me feel better, it was her loving the thing I was insecure about.
see now that's just making it difficult lol
frame it around the idea that it makes you feel safe and taken care of, how he makes you feel protected or something like that. I'm assuming that's part of the reason you like it
throw in something like you've never felt so good with anyone else before, because he lets you really enjoy it and you can let go and such. Like he takes you in your little world together
also, it's best to at most half-lie, so don't make stuff up, you probably have plenty of time to think about it
>btw I wonder why all of a sudden you want to make him a meaningful compliment
>frame it around the idea that it makes you feel safe and taken care of, how he makes you feel protected or something like that. I'm assuming that's part of the reason you like it
Oh this is a great idea, and it's so true too! Thanks anon!
(And because he's been so sweet to me, more than I deserve)
Also (q for all): is it a good idea or not to tell him I think he'll be a really good father one day? He knows I'm not some crazy girl that expects to have his children, but still it might be a little much, or?
if you're going for a compliment, then no
actually it depends how close/casual/honest you've been. if he knows you wouldn't try to sweeten him up before getting into a kids discussion, then it should be fine
>more than I deserve
this is a bad sign, by the way
But is it wrong to try and better myself?
I know for example I'm not smart enough for him, and whilst I can't change that entirely I can still try and read the philosophical books he likes, no?
Or to lose weight or try and smile more and be a happier more easy-going person, etc. It's all just self-improvement really.
Complement him with your eyes/expression rather than words.
For example, if you see him come out of the shower give him that work look and mutter "damn" under your breathe just barely loud enough for him to hear
I'm the anon who posted that
Well first of all so far this sounds exactly like an ex who kept saying exactly that, and also complimented me on all kinds of things, which was awesome. However, I soon realized that she needed taking care of 24/7 and the few months I left abroad were enough to find someone else to take care if her at the drop of a hat. It was just dependency
Secondly, it is a sign of a bad kind of insecurity. Everyone has their own insecurities and it's no big deal, but at least think to yourself what makes you say that you don't deserve it.
I do already depend on him a lot. He's literally my only friend.
Is it doomed then? I'll always be too needy?
He himself doesn't need me the same way, he just thinks I'm good looking and not AS shallow as other girls, but it's not much more than that I think. He mostly want to fuck me.
I'd be depressed, probably. But I'm too much of a coward to ever slit my wrists or anything like that, so I'm sure I'd get over it eventually.
Sorry it wasn't my purpose, I just didn't really have a response.
Truthfully we haven't technically slept together, so I can't say precisely that. But I do see what you mean about the insecurities bit. Other than what I told you earlier though I can only guess for him, I wish I knew him better but he won't open up.
It's a bit complicated.
Basically, we had a thing at first: he was interested in me. I turned him down. Then we met again, and he tried to fuck me. I turned him down. I let him cum over me. We said we'd be friends. He got a girlfriend. We met up, as friends, but he still likes me but thinks I don't like him (and this obviously makes him hurt).
But I do like him, but for several reasons we can't be together so I think it's better this way. But I don't want to see him hurt and I want him to know I do think he's a great man.
>tl;dr I like him and he likes me but we can't be together, but I still want him to feel good and know I like him
The hell. Is this a different person.
Its just gf's job to make him feel better. If you want to express that you like him constantly bombard his gf and him about how lucky she is to have him.
>constantly bombard his gf and him about how lucky she is to have him
What? I don't want to get into a catfight. And her and I don't know each other, we've never met and we won't in the future either.
Leave him alone. He's not single. You're only going to ruin his relationship.
If you can't be together then don't compliment him. You'll only hurt him.
A girl did that to me, kept me as a friend after we broke up. It fucking tore me up having her compliment me while at the same time refusing to be with me.
Please stop giving this girl advice on how to flirt the dude who has a crush on her.
It is polite to ignore crushes and especially to keep a neutral distance when flirtation is not a good idea because of existing relationships.
Also I bet you the reason she "turned hum down" and let him cum on her (...what?) >>16720782 is because she is in a relationship. Hopefully she's just gay and has the biggest heart ever.
>It fucking tore me up
But why? I only want to make him feel good.
He doesn't have a real crush for me, he just wants to fuck me once. And lol no, I'm not in a relationship. I have issues about getting fucked, that's all. So I can't even give him everything he wants, which is why I tried the second best thing from that. And as I realized he still wanted more I told him to get a gf, which he did.
>But why? I only want to make him feel good.
No, you only want to make yourself feel good. Search your feelings, you know it to be true.
That comment WILL make him feel good, then it'll cause him to question his relationship with you and with his girlfriend. It'll end badly, not worth the fleeting happiness from one compliment.
ok I was gonna give extended advice to >>16720267 but then I read further
like what the fuck
girl what the hell did you get yourself into, jesus
tell us at least your under 20, or at most like 23, otherwise shit's preposterous
it doesn't make me upset, but if I'd bet a friend of yours I'd be a bit worried
or at least it sounds like your terrified of having sex, and from what I understand you're rather attractive as well; I see how those 2 combined make it a problem, but it's really not the end of the world
it might happen that the first dude you have sex with won't be your husband as well in the future
it's all part of growing up, understanding how people work, how sex works, how life works
if you like the guy and he seems to at least be careful with you, then just take a leap of faith; if it fails, you try again with someone else when you find them
why are you afraid of sex? (yes, I'm assuming etc.)
Just extremely sensitive about being vulnerable I suppose. And by that I don't mean the sex in itself, but all that follow with it: the man being able to say he "conquered" me, me inevitable getting too attached to the guy and thereafter being dumped realizing he only wanted to fuck me and didn't actually like ME, insecurities about showing myself in the nude (literally and figuratively), etc etc.
It's hard to put into words, but do you see what I mean?
That's probably the whole social phobia thing too: scared of being vulnerable. So I hide myself in my home.
But then this guy came along and he's been so sweet to me. But I feel I can't or don't truly want to give him what he wants (sex, and possibly in the future: a "normal" gf). So I thought it was better for him to find a normal gf, I didn't want to be selfish.
But still I do a little like >>16721079 says. I love when he shows me attention, to feel wanted by someone. And he's my only friend.
Also to add: I have some submissive sexual fantasies, which I know for a fact isn't for him. But regardless I don't want to submit to it, just thinking about it makes me feel like absolute shit, it isn't healthy (not saying it can't be for other people, but it isn't for me).
And so there's this dilemma where I really want to act out these fantasies, but on the other side really don't either.
I see what you mean
you sound rather young, and showing typical motions of young (females)
yes you'll inevitably be hurt by at least one of the dudes you'll sleep with
you'll inevitably hurt at least some of the dudes you'll sleep with
and you seem confused, you don't want people to know a guy 'conquered' you, but you do want him to 'physically' conquer you; I mean come on
you're afraid of something you don't yet know (sex), which is understandable; but do realize that it's a basic part of life you will get through, that almost everyone goes through
for all intents and purposes it'll be easier for you than for many others
so stop (seemingly) playing hard to get and just do it already; you want it, he wants it, that's literally all you need; and yes, fess up and realize that you do indeed want it, you're just scared
heck, you even found a guy that will go easy on you for your first time
>I'm amazed the legions of dudes on this board haven't stormed the thread to hate on your attractive virgin ass yet desu senpai
I'm not that young (22). I know that's not a high virgin-age on 4chan lol, but in reality it is for a female.
Whilst I may have fantasies about being physically conquered, I don't want to be mentally/emotionally conquered, if that makes sense. See what I mean?
And as said, there's more reasons why we can't be together. I don't want to list all here due to anonymity, but for example he's much older than me which we've both already expressed is a massive obstacle. He's talking about wanting marriage and children soon, and I'm mentally like 10 years from being mature for that.
And again like I said, I think he just wants sex, which will hurt me. Everything about this points to me being hurt if I sleep with him. And it's better for him to have a healthy normal relationship with his current gf.
>Whilst I may have fantasies about being physically conquered
you are literally being a huge asshole here. I know your intentions are good or at least sound good but trust me, your leading him on here and will fuck him up just let his Girlfriend boost his ego and make him feel good, you had your chance and missed it so stop trying to win and just lose with dignity because you lose him as a friend also
>All of these guys advising you to tell him his dick is big
Small dick reporting in. Don't fucking do this. He will think the following
>You're a whore who only cares about dicks
>If you said it's something unique about his dick, he will now consider how many dicks you've compared it to
>"Wow she only likes me for my dick and it's not even good"
Compliment him on something he's actually good at, if you MUST use a physical compliment then maybe something about his face or whatever. Alternatively you should direct it to his personality.
If you make this about dicks he will think you are all about the dick life and that's no good if he's got a small dick
22 is indeed a rather "high virgin age", but that's not a bad thing; whenever it happens is fine if it's fine with you
the conquering is a fairly usual thing with women
I don't know how much older he is, but in some sense it is better to do it with someone who care about you in some way, who's gonna be careful, and a bit more experienced. Obviously relationship-wise it won't work that much, but that doesn't have to be a bad thing if you are (both) aware of what you're getting into
>it's better for him to have a healthy normal relationship with his current gf
you're now making decisions for him which exclude you as if you're not worthy. There's so far no reason to feel so insecure about any of this. It's his life, his choices. Yes there is a chance that you will only screw a few times and that's that, but ask yourself why that is such a horrible thing
Unless he's a retard, he can't be thinking of kids and marriage with you, especially if you're 22
point being: it will probably turn out better if you do it with someone like this dude than with some random dude who will happen to pick you up in a bar or at a party; you don't have to hurry, but it will make you much more at ease with things
also, this is one reason why it's nice to have friends outside of relationships, because then you can discuss such difficult personal matters with them, and not with random anons with questionable intentions of the 4chans of all places
I actually have a lot of experience with this. Second-hand experience, but it's still experience. My dad has been a professor at the same university for about forty years and he's seen some shit, so naturally I've heard the stories all my life growing up.
Before I tell you about some of the shit that's gone down, just tell me one thing - what department are you in? You don't have to be super specific if you don't want to.
I asked because there are much more serious repercussions for a grad student who gets into a relationship with their adviser when they are getting a masters, PhD, etc., say in any of the scientific fields where you are going to be entering the same small world of academia where 99% of the focus is on research and publishing. I wanted to see if you said Law or Medicine, in which case you are actually debating on fucking ONE of your professors, not your ADVISER.
But given all the other shit you've said in the thread, I'm inclined to feel like >>16721733 does. You need to drop if because there is clearly a power dynamic at play where you feel not good enough and wanting to please someone. You are in a disadvantaged place, mentally, and you have already stated you are going to hurt yourself by entering into a relationship that includes sex: a matter which you are not comfortable with yet. And when you have sex for the first time, it should NOT be with someone who isn't your equal.
My juicy prof/grad student stories don't apply here because they have to do with people getting screwed over by their department and blacklisted from committees and other universities and shit. As a law student, you're going to enter the workforce as a lawyer and not an academic. Just graduate and then come back later and see if you still want to fuck the sorry old bastard. But I have a feeling he'll have moved on to the next young thing if he's already cum on one of his 22 year old students.
>people getting screwed over by their department and blacklisted from committees and other universities and shit.
Tell me anyways, please?
And he's not THAT old, I should clarify. Not inappropriately old. I think I'm just too young for him mentally, as you too mention, rather than by numbers alone.
But sometimes with him I really do feel like rather I'm the one in power. He fell for me first, etc. And I've turned him down several times.
And he stopped being my professor now in the beginning of January, and I won't have him again.
>I do already depend on him a lot. He's literally my only friend.
>He mostly want to fuck me.
my honest opinion is that you need to take a step back and look at this situation. he is clearly not right for you and you need to create your own friend circle outside of this dude.
>And he's not THAT old, I should clarify. Not inappropriately old.
His age is irrelevant considering the more serious issues you have mentioned, namely your discomfort with the idea of sex, and the fact he is an employee of your university. Until you get that diploma, any grade he may have given you in the past can be disputed if someone finds out he's been intimate with you. The fact you two have already engaged in a sexual act has put both his job at risk and your education if someone happens to find out.
> I think I'm just too young for him mentally, as you too mention, rather than by numbers alone.
It is good you realize that you are not what he wants, but the step you should be working on next is to realize that this fact should preclude you from seeking any further involvement with him in a personal relationship.
>But sometimes with him I really do feel like rather I'm the one in power.
The ability to say no in specific situations does not equate to power in an absolute sense.
>He fell for me first, etc. And I've turned him down several times.
If a WWE champion with a chainsaw comes at me with a chainsaw on the sidewalk and politely asks if he can cut my pretty head off and I turn him down, and he obliges and walks away, did I actually just display power? Are you sure you're a law student?
>And he stopped being my professor now in the beginning of January, and I won't have him again.
Irrelevant for the reasons I mentioned above about disputing grades until you have that diploma in your hands.
If none of the other reasons which anons have stated in the thread are resonating with you, please just stop pursuing this endeavor for the sheer fact that you apparently care about this man and have already endangered his career by letting him shoot his baby gravy on you.
To answer the original OP question: don't give him any compliments. The fact you allow him in your life after his class ended is enough. He has a girlfriend for the other shit.
But I want him so badly, and I'm lonely as can be. I would never tell anyone about him (who'd I tell anyways?).
He's literally all I've got.
I see now how compliments and me being intimate with him is a bad idea, but can't I keep his friendship at least? Could we be friends?
>I want him so badly
>could we be friends?
>that's so much easier said than done, though
might be, but do you wanna do something easy stupid and fucking reckless, or do you want to finally try and start turning into an adult and do the right thing, even it's more difficult
whatever you have going with this dude is destructive to just about everyone around you, what's so hard to get
and to think this thread was about compliments lol
seriously, I know you're in a tight spot (zing), but this will turn out much worse than you initially laid it out
I understand your loneliness. I've been there before. But I think it's up to him if you can be friends. If he can respect the boundaries you set, i.e. "don't make sexual advances on me", then yeah I don't see a reason to cut off your one single friend. But on the other hand, at the first sign of shit getting weird, you better cut him off, because that would show he's not respecting you and what you want.
You need to have self-control and so does he. It's not enough that you want him badly. You two want different things and unfortunately life sucks like that sometimes. I'm sorry.
>Something to really make him happy
Don't comment on body features or how they look whatever.
It's fucken creepy when girls say shit like "i like the shape of ur nose" or "ur eyes r nice colour marry me so i dont hav to goo back to mexico"
You deserve better friends than that. You've already said all he wants to do is sleep with you, that's not a healthy friendship.
Go join a club or greek organization, volunteer, try meetup.com, pick up a sport, find a hobby group, etc... You deserve better friends than this guy.
Compliments that last:
1. I like your (overall) style.
2. Never change...[this].
3. How are you so funny, like 99.9% of the time?
4. You have one of those looks, like you're going to be handsome for your whole life.
5. I admire the way you...[take care of your health/appearance/belongings/clothing].