Would you consider yourself more alpha or more beta?
If more alpha, she's worried about looking like a slut sleeping with you. She's looking for more than just sex from you, she wants a relationship too. There are a few ways you could handle this, depending on what you're looking for.
If you're a beta, she's probably saying that because you've been giving her the boyfriend experience for free/cheap and now you're trying to raise prices on her by looking for sex in return.
>>16718775 no! ffs! what's this autistic advice here...
are you interested in a relationship with this girl? what she most likely means is that the physical and emotional intimacy aren't on par. or that you want to put a label too soon. make an effort to have some "slow" dates again. like just going for a walk. or cooking together. something that involves you doing stuff without it being sex or watching a movie (thus not being able to have more indepth conversations). Share more about yourself and ask her questions that make her open up. this creates a stronger bond.
i really liked my bf when we started dating, but we rushed in a bit and i wasn't feeling comfortable with the level of intimacy anymore. i just didn't know him good enough already. if he had pulled this "distance" shit on me i would have thought he lost interest and moved on. instead we did what i mapped out above and are now happy as can be. this "acting cold" is just playing immature games. it's PUA advice and will push every girl with the slightest selfworth and dignity far, far away. and y'know, those would be the girls you actually want in your life. not the ones that you can pull in again by acting distant. they only want what they can't have. how is this a good foundation for a relationship?
>>16718844 makes sense. since girls actually have insigt on girls emotions it would be TOTALLY stupid to listen to this advice. better listen to bitter virgins that never even had an emotional connection to a person of the other gender, not counting their moms.
yes. that's what I thought. I need to stop being a dude, who is easy to get.
Of course, I want to be in a relationship with her. And more important: win her heart.
man, being an asshole is the only game I didn't want to play. I've started being honest and now I fucked it up a little bit. I also totally agree that being distant and someone you can't have is not a good foundation. But a good start
my "girlfriend" and my friends will come over and have dinner with me. Later we going to hit a bar or sth. and she is going to stay the night. (background: everytime when i met her we have sex, so that's not the point. And the first time we did, she told me that it is too early but it would feel right and she has feelings for me. but the struggle happened the day i opened this discussion. she told me that she really appreciates the kindness she never had before. but i had too much future talks, like having a home with her. For the beginning in a relationship it is not really good to talk like that. I just thought that she would like it, till yesterday).
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