Okay, so this girl I met 2 weeks ago told me she's afraid of commitment in a relationship. She says it's because she cheated on her ex and deeply regretted it afterwards or some shit. She says she doesn't trust herself and doesn't want to hurt me.
I didn't start the convo about this. I was just talking to her and she says her mom is telling everyone that we're dating. I said "are we not?" And that's where the commitment thing started. Then she says she wants to talk to me longer and she has to want it.
The fuck does this mean? This girl talks to me ALL day. We FaceTime and text literally all day and she ALWAYS texts first and like 2/3 of the time FaceTimes me first. She seriously likes me because I can tell whenever we meet. So what the fuck does this mean? She told me this like 5 hours ago and it's been fucking with me since because I have no fucking clue.
basically it means if she finds someone else she wants to fuck she wants to be able to do it without feeling guilty afterwards.
Use her for sex and discard after done OP, she's no where near mature enough for a real relationship.
I'm taking it as you'd like to date her regardless.
Tell her you'll chance it. Tell her you're a grown man and you can take responsibility for your own emotional pains if and when the arise.
Sounds like she regrets past choices and wants to lay her cards on the table. Commend her honesty and tell her you want to be with her.
If she still plays the "don't want to hurt you" card, tell her it's going to agonize you worse wondering what might have been than if the relationship didn't work out in the long run.
She can't handle the idea of having one dick and one dick only for the rest of her life.
I won't lie to you, every month you will have to "conquer" her again or she will cheat.
but If you really like her despite of what she said and is then i hope you all the good luck in the world.
Okay when we first started talking, the conversation got really sexual and we started talking about sexual stuff for the rest of the night. She told how she's always horny, always wants to fuck, loves kinky stuff like getting her hair pulled and being tied up. I shit you not her favorite and preferred genre of music is sex songs and she always plays it when we're in the car.
One, it doesn't sound all that bad.
Two, potentially bad relationships are more interesting than no relationship.
Three, he can opt out whenever he wants.
Four, maybe, just maybe, it will work out.
Five, I am a contrarian by nature and pretty much everyone else is telling to to cut and run.
Six, I am lonely and wish I had even a situation like his.
Seven, why am I making this about me? Oh God, someone hold me.
So she's young, she loves sex, and shes probably hot so she can get it easily.
Look, here's what's happening:
1. She really does feel guilty about the cheating. She never thought she would be a cheater and she would've always been one of those people who can't understand why anyone would do something like that.
2. But she DID cheat, yet she doesn't feel like a monster. To cover this dissonance in how she sees herself, she creates and falls into this persona is being a free spirited, modern woman of passion and sexual discovery.
3. She feels better about it because her past transgression was an inevitable product of her journey through life - she feels less personally responsible because now it seems like something not completely in her control - "she's just like this, don't you see?"
4. Fortunately or otherwise, she still likes you so now you gotta deal with all this bullshit.
Dating will be rough. You can go the "lets just have fun and let it take us wherever" route, but this will more or less just give her a free pass to flake out. Try to pin her down and she might run for the hills. Pick your poison.
I think it means she wants to have a commiting relationship but wants to see how "mature" you are. Like, if you are "man" enough to fuck with her. From my experience everything the girls says she doesn't want is actually what she wants.
Imo be more direct in your approach, dont wait for her to lead. If you wanna be with her then show commitment towards her. Ure on your way to the friendzone because you overanalyze shit instead of acting out on your feelings. In other words, you haven't showed enough balls.
I guess you haven't fucked yet?
>I guess you haven't fucked yet?
Furthest we've gone is cuddling in her bed and kissing. I had to leave earlier than I expected last time because her dad was going to bed and he didn't want me stay there while he's asleep.
And you're right, I'm not leading a lot of things. I've been scared to act out on a lot of things and I don't know why but here's the thing though, I'm not nervous around her or anything. Not at all. Am I just retarded?
No man ure not retarded at all, just a bit unsure/insecure. Like all guys who r afraid to expose their feelings. But you will not be afraid, wanna know why? Cause you wont give a shit if she hurts you or lets you down, you are man enough to deal with those emotions. Like she said shes afraid shes gonna hurt you, in other words uve shown her ure not emotionally stable. It's easier said than done, but drop all ur insecurities and just follow your heart man.
Don't try to make sense of what she says cause you cant approach a womans mind with a mans mindset, it wont make sense to us.
Take her on a date, a restaurant, like a serious one. Enjoy yourself as usuall and have a good time. After the date u have to take the lead and kiss her.
The keyword here is : dont be afraid to expose yourself of your emotions. Good luck my man.
At LEAST kiss her, obviously sex comes first. What you wanna try to do is show that you are not afraid to help yourself, in other words help yourself on her body aka fucking her brains out.
she needs time to plot. Shes just weighing the outcomes of both possibilities. She will choose whatvever option benefits her the most, regardless of how she feels about you. Sort of obvious with the way shes wasting your time.