I'm 19yr old shy and conservative guy and I want a girl who's innocent and saving her virginity(I am too). What's my best bet considering this isn't the norm? Should I just try approaching girls at local libraries and start up conversations or should I briefly chat with a lot of girls at college(I'm kind of shy around a lot of people so this is harder for me) to see if we get along? Also when and how should I mention that virginity is important to me without hurting anyone's feelings?
Stop being picky, you're not entitled to anything. You should be grateful for any female that comes your way. Cease this fantasy of an ideal person, they aren't real. Humans are complex clods. Get off of yourself, find something or somebody. Or be alone.
I knew that was the reply you were going to give, and I understand it and agree, but guess what? There is no other reliable means of getting what you want, unless you want girls who were forced into it by something other than religion? Examples?
By that theory a girl should be grateful if any guy comes her way regardless of his flaws. People have different preferences and standards. I can reject a girl for having sex the same way a girl can reject me for my height, personality, looks, or any other reason. Your response doesn't make any sence.
Well, first of all, I don't know you, so I don't know if you are "conservative and value virginity" because of some reasonable reasons or because you are a loser and trying to justify it. I am genuinely not trying to insult you, it's an unknown.
Also, the fact is that you aren't looking for a girl who is:
You are looking for a girl who is that and
>isn't an idiot
At least, I think that's a safe assumption. Once you list all of that, it becomes a rarity. And honestly - virginity is overrated - I completely understand not wanting a girl who sucks every cock she sees, but there is a reasonable amount where it shouldn't be a problem.
Furthermore, if you are in the middle class, you likely had a poor education and didn't get to learn too many interesting things, especially in the US. The girls that surround you are similar, so that poses yet another problem. I kind of ranted, but I think it might help us get to the core of the issue.
Because public schools here are generally shit. By many interesting things I mean things like martial arts, music, art, and basic things like being able to swim, dance, hook up to a rappelling rig, start a fire, fix a car, etc.
Middle class = no money, video games/tv/drinking after school/work. Don't take it personally, just a generalization.
So much butthurt. I am genuinely amused.
You mean you're mad because I'm still right and you're literally useless and nobody cares to seek advice from your clearly average intelligence
So, here's the thing - either you are ugly, really poor, awkward, etc OR you aren't meeting enough people to be able to choose from them.
If you are a pretty competent human being, you can expand your social circle fairly rapidly. You do have to go out and make acquaintances for that though. Eventually, you will meet people that are similar to you.
So, with that long explanation out of the way - be more social. Which costs time and money, but it's about the only way to what you want here, short of making dating site profiles, but that's a lot of filtering through trash.
I don't shun anything
You admire the Sith? What's their creed? How does that relate to our discussion in the other thread. Try answering there, because it will be the only one I check when I come back.
Well I did say I was shy...
Outside of that I'm attractive and a good person. I probably don't socialize nearly as much as I should but that's the exact reason I'm asking where. I'm a computer science student and I don't see many girls in class or interships so finding one I like is even more difficult.
All I hear are fibs and excuses. If you were as attractive as you were letting on to be then you should have a high succession rate. What's stopping you? Are you socially impaired? Go to other places, anon. Another city, possibly?
>How can I get cute and innocent gf?
You probably can't. They exist but you'd have better luck catching a shiny Mewtwo.
99.99% of girls have lost it before they leave high school, so your chances of even finding a girl are pretty low. Also usually if you're only her second or third partner she'll lie and say it's her first time. Verrrrry common with younger girls.
If a virgin is what you want then go for it but you won't get a girl who's good looking AND a virgin, unless you're a fucking Greek god; I mean the usual /idealmate/ or r9k tier checklist: 6'1"+, white, crazy fit with six pack abs and everything, chiseled jaw and general movie star looks PLUS tons of money and coincidentally have all the same taste in everything as the girl. Obesity is the norm in the west so a girl who's both attractive and a virgin is LITERALLY like 1/2000 on your campus there bud, being so rare they know they can have absurd requirements and you aren't going to meet them if you're a 4chan regular.
If you want to wait and want a girl who's waiting she'll probably be highly religious however I have known adult virgin girls who weren't, it's just more likely she will be. But this is why everyone is always saying "lower your expectations", as I've explained you won't find a super hot petite virgin wearing moeshit striped leggings and miniskirts like you weebs love. The kind of virgin girl who would even accept a date with you would be chubby and plain at the very best, but likely just unattractive, and also have an avoidant personality. No not "aww so cute we can be shy together" like she'll have a panic attack outside the coffee shop and break the date you made.
When two virgins marry they are happier and less likely to get a divorce, it's really not a bad thing to shoot for, but you have to ask very little in terms of her looks and personality.
I only started looking good in the past couple of years. Before that I was bullied for being really shy and I still am. I have a really hard time trusting people(especially women) and thus don't go outside much, especially with people I'm not comfortable with. I had a gf for a short time but I noticed that the older she got the more she craved attention so I broke it off in fear that she would do something stupid. Now I only go out for school, work, or to go out to lunch or something with some closer friends. Whether you believe me or not doesn't really matter.
Fix your attitude for one, kek. My input doesn't really alter anything unless you put what others said to work. Stop being a pussy, realize that whatever it is you do doesn't matter, keep in mind if the consequences though. You don't trust women yet you want one? Kinda contradictory.
Your best bet is to actually talk to girls without the intention of finding a date. Because what I'm getting is that you're screening out so many girls based on their religious beliefs, virginity, looks, etc that you're just not meeting people. That's bad no matter what your goals are.
Gotta work on getting over that so social anxiety mang, not talking to girls is 100% the reason for not having girls. Esp if you're attractive, if you really want a virgin you could try finding some girl online and get into that trainwreck of a relationship or some underage girl lmfao. In my opinion it doesnt matter dude, I was the same way, found me a qt virgin thankfully i got her first cuz girls a freak but yknow after all the waiting so it could be "special" and i'd feel "comfortable" it wasn't worth it lol like sex is just sex. I loved her but once we fucked I realised that the amount of importance I held over fucking was too much.
Because really even if a girl is a shy virgin doesnt mean shes a pure waifu
Just because It's hard for me to trust them doesn't mean I don't want to.
This is probably my biggest problem, I know it's wrong but I tend to see things in black and white. Like if a girl is a slut even though I shouldn't I end up hating her for it.
What's the difference? You're not gonna fuck a slut any more than you're gonna fuck a rabbit. You look down on both cause one's a slut and the other's an animal. A slut doesn't know any better than a rabbit as far as you care.
If they didn't do anything personal to you, there's no reason to hate them or avoid them. You can look down on people and still talk to them.
>you're not entitled to anything. You should be grateful for any female that comes your way.
Either a pathetic guy, or an women sitting on an ivory tower of undeserved self worth.
You are entitled to what you are mentally and physically able to obtain. Sorry your local hug box lied to you.
Speaking of entitled, As someone living in a 1st world country you are entitled to a 5th grade education in grammar, try utilizing it.
That's exactly what I'm trying to convince myself of. The problem is that it's almost subconscious. I know it's illogical but I can't get it out of my head. I don't want them anyway but I still care for some reason.
>You probably can't. They exist but you'd have better luck catching a shiny Mewtwo.
But catching a shiny mewtwo doesn't really require luck since in firered/leafgreen you can simply save the game infront of him and then soft reset the game till you have a shiny mewtwo. it can take up to 2 or 5000 tries but a try takes about 50seconds or less.
I got one, kind of Muslim but not really (talking cultured, gold quotes on the wall but open minded with no real religion). She saved her virginity. She also likes kinky petplay stuff.
Some cultures are more into loyalty than others, it doesn't affect the girls in other aspects.
What's wrong with Chad having her before you did? Does it bother you that you'll never be as good a fuck as he is, that when you're pounding away into her she'll just be thinking of him, because it's the only way she can get off? It's okay, as she'll tell you, it's all in the past. She just wanted to experiment, get all of the wild sex and fantasy fulfillment out of her system. And sex is everywhere these days, right? Totally not indicative of a lack of control over temptation, or the entire cause of STDs being spread so rapidly. You should be lucky you have female company at all. I mean, she could be back with Chad. But instead she's with you, because he won't pay her bills anymo-I mean, because she loves you. Stop being so entitled.
I bet you wouldn't even step up to the plate and take care of another man's baby, if you really loved a woman. You're a real sap, OP.
>opportunities arise to lose virginity and take someone elses,
>wasnt feeling it at the time
>usually felt disgusted
now, knowing being faithful is a meme to everyone.
there's no point in holding on to virginity
I want to lose my virginity to a virgin. But they're dying out quick and I only seem to have opportunities now where the girl has fucked like 2 guys already and its making me feel like shit
Am I in the wrong/being unreasonable? I don't like that girls have a leg up on sex over me
You're totally reasonable. I wouldn't like to eat pickles if I knew somebody else already licked them.
Same thing with girls. You just have to go to parties with younger people. Younger means more virgins. And everybody knows chicks dig older dudes.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
I almost never recommend this because it tends to address the symptoms rather than the cause, but if you know it's illogical and you want to change a specific thought pattern, this is the way to go.
You suck lol
As a Muslim I'll tell you that's bullshit, if she grew up in the west she's the same as a white girl, total entitled whore. They'll lie to their courters and have a fake hymen implanted and pretend they were good girls, but in reality spent all of college fucking frat boys just like every other girl.
I'll consider it but it it's been something that's been part of my thought process for years now. I have a hard time not labeling people as good/bad based on my own reasoning. I'm aware it's stupid not to see shades of grey but I don't think it will be easy to fix.
I'm just presented with two opportunities
either fuck a girl who's already lost her virginity
or a girl who's fucked two guys
and it bothers me that they have more experience than me but they're younger, mainly because I'm supposed to be the one leading
I'd take both. Meaning you will be more expirienced and therefore be a better lover. Or you will just fuck it all up. Works for me.
Well, I can help you with that if you want. #NoHomo
I know your income is well above average. This won't be a problem for you. But you need to seriously disregard any female that has lost her v.
They will always be jealous because we all know our true primal nature. Virgins will always be more precious if we were to compare twins1 for 1 physically. A non-v is going to subconsciously compare you and csteforize your sexual style. You are minimizdd you are part of a collection. A man... deep down wants to taint a women with himself. His genes. his impression. His smells. smells hit deep. And once you realize that... Having sex with a slut is so much more, bland, blank...unrewarding. Void. Null. It tells you nothing of yourself other than that you are the same.
Good luck to you.
I figured, honestly I'd like to just finish up school and make sure I get a good job and worry about girls later, but I feel like time is running out. If I wait too long all the decent girls are gone.
CBT is a band-aid. It's horribly ineffective at treating an entire way of thinking and any therapist who solely relies on it is a sham. That's not the point. The point is to suppress the thoughts that are holding you back so that you can get out and talk to girls.
If you're not going to at least try to meet people at some point, you're going to be a shut-in for the rest of your life. All I'm asking is for you to try talking to girls.
I am a virgin and I have some other girl friends who are virgins too.
I am a virgin for religious reasons. That being said, I don't think it's wise to dismiss people who practice abstinence for religious reasons.
Sure, I am a virgin because of my religious beliefs, but that doesn't mean I don't recognize the benefits of abstinence as well.
Being in control of one's mind and body is very important. Not many people are able to resist lust and desire- being able to control one's actions to such a degree as to remain a virgin until marriage reflects a person who is willing to make sacrifices for their own development, which I like.
Anyways; one of my virgin friends is a virgin for non-religious reasons. She's a goodie two shoes Indian girl who is super smart and respectful. She's never been intimate with another person aside from some kissing. She is this way because she has very high standards for a partner. I think she is adorable, but she's not "conventionally beautiful" because she doesn't wear makeup or do her hair.
That's really all the insight I have to offer.
Most girls are not virgins because it is extremely easy to get attention for "slutty" actions. Guys who are way out of a girl's league physically will rush to show her attention if there's a chance he might see her naked.
We are all human, and we crave attention and love. Girls have easier access to these, which is why it's hard to find girls who, on principle, reject this easy method or receiving attention.
Usually girls only reject it if they cannot recieve attention using their bodies (if they are fat or ugly, for example)
Surprised this thread is still going. I'm OP and I actually grew up with a religious family and my grandmother is very religious. My main issue with religious abstinence is the fear that they will just use religion as an excuse. Like if a religious girl sleeps around for a time she can just bed for forgiveness and she's brand new. I know not everyone is like this so I won't dismiss religious girls but it feels like scary territory.
That's true, I have some friends who arn't virgins but now practice abstinence after coming to Christ.
I personally find it admirable when people make this decision, but I understand that it can disrupt your search for a virgin.
Girls who have had sex before never really claim to be "virgins" because they convert, though. Most of them own their past and use it as motivation to not repeat their mistakes. But I doubt a girl would tell you she was a virgin If she had sex before
Those aren't really the bad ones, I'm talking about the ones that live their lives by what they're told at church and who believe that if the priest says god forgives then suddenly everything is right again. I'm referring more to a specific warped mentally than to an actual mistake that they regret making, that's a lot more respectable.
Oh okay- I understand.
I don't really befriend people like that so I don't know how common they are, but I do agree that it's easy to find "crazy" people in religious communities.
I wish you luck op! I hope you find what you're looking for :) they do exist, I promise!
A lot of my virgin friends lost their virginity in college, so try to aim for girls who are under 21.
>I'm 19yr old
Not to be an ass but don't expect us to take you seriously. You don't think differently because you're special. You think that way because you're still young and inexperienced. You'll grow out of it though. Stop watching so much tv and romantic movies. Get outside more and meet people, especially girls. The more you get out, get more experience under your belt, learn to be interesting and you'll find it much MUCH easier to talk to girls. Or anyone for that matter.
Real men don't "save their virginity" and there isn't a female in the world that wants a guy like that
If you haven't had sex yet by 23 you've got no hope and you should probably castrate yourself and become a monk
At first I thought you were just a cooky conservative nutter (reasonable but wierd), but the more you reply it's becoming obvious that the reason you're aversed to knobbing a sloot isn't because of moral imperatives but because you're scared your pickle won't tickle her the right way since her goopy vagina has more experience than you, and you'll feel emasculated by her taking control
Solution: integrate your penis tangentially with a couple of vaginas and then YOU will have the upper hand experience wise and all will be well with the world
>It tells you nothing of yourself other than that you are the same.
>It tells you nothing of yourself
Thank you for nailing down exactly what it is about guys who insist on pure virgins for nonreligious, "I just want to be the first" reasons. They don't care about the girl, really. It's all about them.
Well, relationships don't last when you make everything about you. So the resulting situation is
>find qt virgin
>take their v card
>somehow this doesn't transform you into a better person and you're still making everything about you, so the relationship fails
>now she's back on the market except now she's what you'd call damaged goods
>multiply this by however many virgin seekers and virgins there are out there
And there you have it. You were wondering what happened to all the virgins. Obviously that's not the whole picture, but it sure doesn't help the qt virgin supply does it?
>considering this isn't the norm
What makes you think that? It's not that unusual for people who are holding out for marriage to look for a partner who is doing the same.
Just because 4chan is obsessed with sex doesn't mean everyone is.
Fuck everyone making fun of you, virgin girls will appreciate you being a virgin as well. As long as you aren't a virgin because no one wants you. But surely there are girls who are into that too.
I can't tell if your joking or not, but that's definitely not the case. If I just wanted sex with a virgin I could have already. I had one gf who I was with for a few months who would have had sex with me and she was a virgin. And before you ask she was attractive so that isn't why I didn't.
Well I only talk to one or two girls occasionally, and one is has a bf so I wouldn't really know what most girls do in their private lives but most of the shit people say here is just ridiculous.