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Dealing with Women
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice

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Can we have a thread for guys where we talk about our successes dealing with women romantically and just in general.
Theres a lot of truth to the nice guy meme and its really sad in general to watch because no one deserves that. Im not blaming women but its only natural that someone would become bitter when they think they can go through life being nice and then are never rewarded and are hurt.
A thread like this where they could read how other guys deal with women and their experiences my allow them not to fall into the same pit falls and hopefully let these guys who deserve some happiness understand how to get it.
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>>16684630
Most people learn thru experience..
Get burnt once and then they stop being retarded
>>
>deal with women
>being nice and then are never rewarded
>deserve some happiness
You know what's wrong with your entire OP post, aside from the blazing faggotry? I'll give you like, 20 guesses.
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>>16684630
>nice

You mean basic courtesy, right? That's what most people have.
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>>16684673
Actually it's the jerks that get the girls so..
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>>16684675
i was in love with a girl whose boyfriend was a jerk, and i actually managed to make her cheat on him with me, does that makes me a jerk?
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>>16684645
Not everyone recovers from being burnt as well as others.
>>16684675
This isnt necessarily true but happens a lot.
>>16684646
>>16684673
these are the mentalities of women that I want to talk about. Men and women dont think the same and you cant necessarily blame them for that. The sooner you accept that the better.
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>>16684693
>This isnt necessarily true but happens a lot.

You really are retarded, aren't you? Like even if we pretend to believe it's true, you're still a bitch in that scenario.

You want pussy for basic manners. I mean, I bet you give gifts because you think you're generous instead of realizing that you're basically bribing people into liking you/trying to get pussy.
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>>16684691
Heres a good point.
Men when dealing with other men operate under an expected code. Like theres things you just dont do because it goes against how you think people should act. But women dont think the same way and so if you want to be successful, you have to realize that the way you think people should be treated is only limited to other guys.
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>>16684691
Yes, that makes you a jerk. Not because of the "you made her cheat on you" part or some implied bullshit about how women should be treated and bartered like goods or some other redpill neofaggotry, but for this simple fact:

Aside from the idea that "her boyfriend is a jerk and I need to punish him/upstage him", you have no true intentions to the girl in pursuing a subsequent relationship with her. You believe your job here is done once you fucked the girl and he finds out and shit hits the fan. If you can't give the same level of consideration, perhaps you should not be chasing after people who have put forward that level of consideration.
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>>16684710
>I bet you give gifts because you think you're generous instead of realizing that you're basically bribing people into liking you/trying to get pussy.
This is what a nice guys need to understand. The current dating stigma is all about getting pussy. Not a loving relationship. So all they see is that you just failed to have sex. Not that you had a genuine interest. They dont see that. They only see who they are going to have sex with. You have to understand that your ideals and the majority of women today arent compatible and when this happens to you its probably for the best.
Secondly women dont see kindness the same way a guy would. Things like good deeds get rewarded with good deeds in general work on other guys and scratching each others back is a pillar of male bonding. But women arent men. They dont see that action as an act of kindness. They dont feel the desire to repay kindness. They see it as a bribe or something that can be discarded.
When being kind to a women, you have to keep this in mind. You will gain nothing by being kind to her as you would another guy. Not even a good image. If you let, a woman will manipulate you and abuse you. Bleed you dry. So when being nice keep these things in mind so that you dont feel insulted. When you open the door for a women expect that she didnt even see you and will step on you without second thought. This way you can be nice while not leaving yourself vulnerable.
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>>16684747
>nice guy tm
>male bonding

Please shut up and go back to your no-homo gay fantasises.
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>>16684743
Sorry i forgot to mention i geniunely loved and cared for her, also i didnt "make" her cheat on him, i just was there for her when her boyfriend was not, i didnt pursue a sexual relationship either, am i still a jerk?
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>>16684757
>nice guy tm
Not sure what you were trying to imply by this, but philosophically speaking, kind actions are done to foster kindness. Not sure if youve ever read great debates about why good deeds that go unrewarded are better than bad deeds that do but if you cant answer why then a kind action is just as meaningless as any other action.
My personal favorite is arguing why its better not to steal than to steal and get away with it.
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>>16684757
>woman
>male bonding
Not even once
>>
I was with a girl for two years. She was my first, so I was really enthusiastic and cared a bit too much (even going so far as to make a scrapbook full of memories we shared for each anniversary). She cheated on me with her abusive ex then promptly left. I know that if I want to keep a woman committed I have to change my personality a bit, but part of me wonders if it's even worth it. I just want to be myself around a girl and be loved and if that's not possible, maybe it just wasn't meant to be for me.
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>>16684800
Are you sure you weren't the girl in the relationship
lel
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>>16684809
You're right, I care too much. It's very feminine. It's pretty embarrassing to even think about all the things I did for her, compared to what she did for me. I must have looked so stupid
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>>16684800
Youre hurt because you expected something from a woman.
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>>16684821

You're being silly. Feeling pain and disappointment is a part of love. If you're afraid of your own feelings and incapable of feeling them, you just become an emotional and mental cripple, a limited human unable to live fully. Judging all women and their relationship habits from one bad experience is tempting, but the same as judging from any one bad experience: not healthy.
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So Ive learned from my past mistakes. Im not a nice guy the same way I was before. Back then it was genuine but now its just for show.
I still do nice things for people I have zero interaction with, but if Im dealing with a women who is even so much as a friend I put multiple layers of protection around me.
If you like a girl. You dont really have to change your nice guy routine. But you have to play her game. So add in multiple levels of asshole behind your kindness. Remember your goal and lie, deceive, and manipulate to achieve this.
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>>16684876

I'm completely stumped as to how someone could seriously have this opinion.
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The level of whiteknightage around is astounding
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>>16684946

What do you mean?
>>
The trick isn't to be a jerk, it's to be selfish.
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>>16684924
Experience and confirmation bias. Once you start playing her game it doesnt hurt anymore and its relatively successful. Didnt involve me changing my routine too much. I just needed to change the purpose of why I did them.
I mean if you look at >>16684710 it put things into perspective. Youre not allowed to want things and be nice at the same time.
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>>16684924
Echochambers of the internet my friend.

Also most of these faggots seem to make a beeline for the most vacuous groups and girls, and then get angry when knocked back by them.
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>>16685011
For me it was the echochambers of a frat house. You think I was going to continue to try and be genuinely nice and not join them in swimming in pussy by being a dick. If I couldnt have what I wanted the least I could get is the happiness they had.
Being an asshole and swimming in pussy feels so much better than being nice and being rejected. And i can still be nice to others when theres no rejection on the line. Wasnt that big of a compromise honestly.
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>>16685010

>You're not allowed to...

Of course you are. You're allowed to do whatever the fuck you want.

It's sad that people are like you, and become like you, because it simply creates more of you. Adding to some sad underbelly of life that I would never want to interact with.
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>>16685010

>16684710 it put things into perspective. You're not allowed to want things and be nice at the same time.

You faggot, you're misreading my post on purpose. What I meant is that you think that doing the most basic decent things somehow entitles you to you to pussy and that buying/'bribing' people will somehow get people to like you. People see through that shit.
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>>16685032
No according to that person being nice and wanting things is just bribing. No reasonable person would think that but woman lol
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>>16685034
>being nice to people to get them to like you is bribing
You heard it hear first. Dont treat your friends nicely. They can see through that shit. Woman can do so even faster.
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>>16685039

That>>16684710
is my post and you've deliberately misconstrued it.
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>>16684800
>dating a girl who has an abusive ex
>especially when you had a clean slate

That is exactly where you fucked up.
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>>16684759
No.
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>>16684759
>i just was there for her when her boyfriend was not
You got hella lucky. Normally women treat you like a tampon and go right back to their boyfriend.
>>
STOOORRY TIIMEE

>>>>(1/?)

first the story of who I am:
>diagnosed with autism at 8y/o. although looking back I believe my deal was that I started liking girls at 4y/o .
>this realy fucked with my head ofcorse I realy wanted attention of the girl I was 'in love with' and so I behaved very differently from the rest so I did >kind of get bullied a long part of my life because the austism was still there, and I realy diddn't know how to behave most of the time.
>3 years ago I got in a band (I play drums since 6) at 17y/o. I got all of my friends out of that realy a great but whole other story. and before that I practicly lived under a rock because I was in a special school for all the cringy nerdtypes you see around here.

skip to now
>I'm in a band, I'm on a music school as a drummer, it's kind of gonna be my life. I tried math and science but it was just too much work for me.

THE STORY THE THREAD ASKED FOR:
>be me etc.
>there is a girl on my school, she's 2d y, I'm 1st y.
>she's a 10/10 on the outside. fucking gorgious.
>realy idealistic, realy likes Friends/SitC/Cali4nication etc.
>but on the inside, she's 4/10. it's because of her beauty she's realy insecure because everyone always expects her to be like this or that and she can't handle it very well

rest will come!
>>
Maybe "nice guys" don't get what they want because- they're ugly! Looks are still virtually everything people
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>>16684630
> be a guy
> talk with girl
> girl is flakey
> politely call on her shit and wish her a good day as you cut her off your life.
> continue on your life
> get more attractive in women who actually have their shit together.
> ???
> PROFIT!

Just be yourself.
And have some self-respect for once.
>>
>>16685057
Nothing misconstrued about it. You think being nice is bribery.
>>
(2/?)

>now, being 20, after all those years of learning and practicing how to behave myself (around girls) I was like
bitchI'mgonnatrytogetthisgirl.exe
>I was talking to her this christmas holidays, and I realy wanted to go out with all of her classmates and mine, and we where like 'trying' to get the rest coming with us to do something fun on new years eve.
>realy diddn't work
>so eventualy, on new years eve I was spending my time with all of my best friends
>she was too
>send eachother happy new year and stuff
>next morning we where like: ok NOW we have to go out with everyone from our school
>I already knew what was going on: she just wanted to have a date with me
"hey Anona, let's just go alone fck the rest".GIF
"yeah shure let's go to there-and-there".whatevz
>we go to that place, closed (1jan ffs ofcorse it's closed)
>other place we like also closed
>just get into the first café we see
>realy loud music, pretty awkward we diddn't hear eachother, but we already ordered red wine so we had to drink that b4 we went somewhere els
>that was a part where I knew:
"now don't be awkward, don't be insecure about this you can fucking handle this show her you're a man"
>we went to an other bar realy nice looked very good and we sat down
>more red wine
like I said she's realy that cliché
BRO TIP: wine REALY often makes a girl more tipsy>horny! I diddn't start with beer because that just wasn't realy a sexy thing to do (I thought about that, normaly I always drink beer only fuck wine)

>I start the conversation her something "that I can't realy ask my friends about, so I'd like your oppinion". that was a great move.
>she starts talking about her expirences about boys she diddn't like that liked her and well from there on the conversation was just realy good
>we where exualy
communicating.mp3
>I wasn't questioning her or interigating her like I used to.

more will come!
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>>16684630
It's all about looks. Nice or shitty, if a girl doesn't like your face, it's not gonna fly.
>>
(3/?)

>I start the conversation with something "that I can't realy ask my friends about, so I'd like your oppinion". and it was about the girlfriend of one of my best friends.
>that was a great move.
>I realy set the mood to everyting that has to do with boys and girls and stuff. not talking about cars or other boring inmate objects
>she starts talking about her expirences about boys she diddn't like that liked her and well from there on the conversation was just realy good
>we where exualy
communicating.mp3
>I wasn't questioning her or interigating her like I used to.
>after a while she gets realy confortable with me, she feels like she can talk to me about anything, and we practicly do
>she tells me alot of pretty personal stuff that she can't realy tell to other people.
>then she askes me something
veryfuckingserious.thisgunbegud

"Ok anon, Honoustly: do you think I'm sexy, or do you think I'm hot."
>she fucking threw me this golden fucking question I knew exacly what I had to fucking do
>I start thinking, genuinly. I diddn't fucking awnser the question immediatly I realy took the time to let her believe I exualy fucking thought about it
>although I immediatly knew what I thought, I just said what she
>wanted
>to hear:
>"you're sexy. ofcorse you are a beauty you know that. everybody knows that. but you know how to handle it. the way you move and behave is also realy attractive."
(this was a fucking lie she's just fucking hot that's it...)
>but:
>I swear I hear that wet panty drop in my dreams till today
>it fucking smashed right through the floor and I tipt the bartender because he had to fucking mop up double the niagrafalls.

>"I wanna take you outside... for a smoke."

to be contineud
>>
I've learned not to expect anything for my niceness. No one is ever obligated to return any kindness you show them.

You don't hold the door open for someone in hopes of them saying thank you- because they may not. You do it because it is the courtious thing to do.
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>>16684630

being nice is rewarded by people being nice to you. it does not in any way guarantee or even hint that it means women are gonna fall in love with you, its not how love works after all
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>>16685091
Thats pretty much what happened, i guess i was expecting to get into a real relationship with her after she dumped her boyfriend, but thanfully i realized she was not worth it, dont ever be someones second plate
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>>16684630
How about teaching men to learn to live without women and to move forward in life without them? The whole dating game is rigged against men and many of the women of today will drop a man at a drop of a hat like this anon.>>16684800. Why invest on a woman when she can cheat on you with any thirsty guy on Facebook/dating sites/ or from her work? Also a man should be putting his needs first not on some woman. It will pay off better if a man is taking care of himself instead of a woman.
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>>16685305
Someones never read a philosophy book on good vs evil
>>
wow ok it seems noone is listening to my fucking story.. even though it's what this thread is about.. nvr mind about the rest the interesting part with the crazy fucking bartender still had to come...
>>
depending on the girl and somehow much I care about her before had I might use really devious tactics to get the girl.
Im the type of guy to take things slowly. So of course I end up getting friend zone. So what I try to before I make a move is get the girl to be dependent on me. Spam praise at her and do everything to make her feel better with me than anyone else. Now of course shes going to ignore this, but thats what you want. So that she keeps blindly letting you in. Be the best emotional tampon shes ever met. Reaffirm all of her beliefs. Make her life as easy and stress free as possible. You want her to think of you as her pet or something. Make it so that she wont even think about hanging out with her friends because youre too busy giving her a foot massage.
Dont even ask her out. Lean in a for kiss.
Now heres where the fun begins. Theres no way shes going to return your feelings. Because youve been the perfect boyfriends already while shes not had to do anything. So why change your relationship when you already give her everything and she can date that hot guy right.
This is why you suddenly pull the rug from under her. People usually say cut contact but you want to give her hope. Dont say anything. Just accept whatever she says. Then stop doing everything for her. Become too busy for her. When you see her look at her with no hint of affection. But sure to look at everyone around her with affection.
At this point she'll panic because shes lost her tampon and either ask to start dating you her or become an emotional mess. Either way you win.
This also works if she has a boyfriend. Be the better boyfriend. Shes still going to reject you. and everything still applies.
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>>16685425
It needs a tldr and a synopsis and moral at the start. No one wants to read a wall of text ever unless they already know its going to be worth it.
You gotta learn to tell stories. Your first line is story time and I think NOPE
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