So, long story short, my boyfriend found out that I have a "high number" of past sexual partners, and he has not been handling it very maturely. He refuses to answer my texts or calls, and when we are at home he simply locks himself in the bedroom and ignores me.
For context, I have slept with around 100 men, which isn't too excessive for a 34 year old woman who has been sexually active since she was 15. Sex is a just a fun thing for me to do and in the past I liked to consistently indulge myself in a new man every couple months to change things up. But now, I want to settle down with him.
What can I say/do to make him feel better? He only has had 2 partners before me.
It is just five or six guys a year, it is not excessive for an attractive woman. Look at the other thread on this board, where the girl broke up and slept with something like eight guys in less than that time.
this is a bait thread
this is a bait thread
this is a bait thread
this is a bait thread
I guess you'd have to be lucky. Im 19 and have slept with about 35 and have been in a relationship the past 2 years, he was bothered at first but when he realised i wasn't a cheater he didn't Care and now after two years he's just glad that i have the experience to pleasure him extra Well
Not trying to be a white knight here, but i like seasoned hoes and sluts. Your BF is just different.
Most people are vegans when it comes to sex- a diet full of restrictions. You need to find an omnivore.
Talk to him about what he is doing.... srsly if you cant be honest with each other and have these sit down talks wtf are you even doing in a relationship with him. inb4 bait thread.
I agree with you, give the guy some time he just needs to cope with it >>16684275
Wow take it easy most guys have slept with 100+ women, just because they don't show on 4chan doesn't mean they dont exsist in Extra large army size
Yeah sex is normal, i mean prostitutes have sex with probably nearly 1000 guys a year, let's say that have an average of 2 guys a day that's well over 600 men. so for you to be so conservative compared to that is very commendable.
Honestly you should round up your local femagogue(feminist synagogue) and get your boyfriend fired for being a bigot and slut shaming you.
I honestly think my advice is best OP. Please listen.
There is far too many possible thought processes that could be going through his head right now for any of us to give you good advice beyond getting to the bottom of what bugs him.
Just remember, if he's thinking what I would be thinking I feel for the guy.
Just sit him down somewhere where he can look at a view and talk to him about it. Get to the bottom of what he thinks. Maybe once its off his chest he'll come to accept it, maybe he won't. Just remember your situation with him is becoming increasingly infamous so the 'immature' angle might not help.
In my opinion yeah, I feel really sorry for the guy. Just hear him out and make sure he has a view to look out on. It's very important for us when we try to open up. It's science. Trust me.
to be fair having sex isn't hard unless you're a complete weaboo, i could probably have sex with 4 different women every night for 3 years before i had to change my game. I just like to think guys mostly don't do that because they realize that's disgusting.
Not sure trolling...
but before the slut shaming kicks in... (because there's going to be a lot of early 20 something virgins that are going to scream OMG SLOOOT triple digits!)
Honestly, if you think about it, 2 compared to 100 IS a high number, and an insane amount to think about if you're the person who's only ever been with two people.
And no matter how you spin it, 100 IS a high number.
Every statistic available lists the average partner count at about 5-15 in a lifetime. You're at around 10 times the global average. Is it an insane number? No, but that definitely makes it high.
I'm not saying any of this to make you feel bad, I'm saying this because you need to understand where he's coming from and why he'd be shocked.
Now what do you do moving forward?
You say that you love him (if you do) and understand if that's more than he can handle right now and needs time to figure this out, but that you're history is your history, and that you're your own person and not going to be ashamed because of anything anyone else thinks. Let you know when he comes to a decision.
This is one of those places where you have to give room, but not so much room that people feel like they can abuse it to become rampant drama queens.
100 men? Jesus, I don't even have religious hangups, but I'd leave you upon finding that out. That is way too many dicks.
Ever see clerks? Remember when Dante freaks out because he's dick 37? He's not unreasonable there.
Your best angle is to convince him that he's the one you want to stay with, but quite honestly even that's a long shot. I can't think of any guy I know who'd be okay with that.
To make it an analogy, I'm sure I've been inside a 100 sky scrapers, but it stopped being special after the first few. Your bf feels kinda like that.
Just wanted to point these things out:
>Dante freaks out at 37
Dante is a fucking loser and that's the point of the movie.
Humans aren't biologically driven to be in skyscrapers. Also, there are people who love skyscrapers- I grew up in the suburbs, now I work in a big city and travel to other big cities. I love skyscraper #300 just as much as #22. OP could say the same thing about penis.
On one hand yeah sex is great, on the other hand you can get a lot of diseases that way on what hand yeah sex is great, on the other hand you can get a lot of disease that way and its way safer to just masturbate
Sex control represents self control and likelyness of alotta loyaty.
Hes not actully petty, depending on the mindset not being beta cluck and not letting that pass on by like its no big deal can take a big guy.
You may not think its a big deal, 4U, but you couldnt have waited untill 16 at least?
Why did you say anything, I mean come on, was getting caught part of your master plan?
>Why did you say anything, I mean come on, was getting caught part of your master plan?
This reply is gold
I am so fucking tired of girls using this lousy personal attack at boys/men who voice their opinion about this here on /adv/. Have you not seen the picture about how womens only value is sex and/or witholding this so since they can't go "you can't have this" online they do the second next best thing and call the guy a virgin? Sooo fucking lame. And ALPHA FUCKS BETA BUCKS IS TRUE, YOU ARE ALL LIKE THIS!
> I have slept with around 100 men
100 men is way too many men you are just a whore.
>sexually active since she was 15.
You did not even wait till it was legal.
>He refuses to answer my texts or calls
he wants to dump you for good reasons.
>I want to settle down with him
wanting the beta provider
>He only has had 2 partners before me
Let him fuck 98 women.
Now this better be bait or you are out of your mind.
>I have slept with around 100 men
holy shit you are a fucking disgrace. the fuck makes you think you can have your cake and eat it too? Did you expect to have your "fun" and have some on to take care of your used up old cow?
Jsust relax and keep telling him. You're the one I want. I have to admit I actually usually dont ask girls Im with about their past partners and i even say please do not tell me I really do not want to hear it. I guess guys have a mindset that if you moved on 100 times youll move again.
Its like a natural thing if you know what I mean? You can understand where hes coming from a little bit right? I mean you basically dumped 100 guys off before him, which means hes made himself very vulnerable for that. Just keep telling him that he's the one you want.
Are you live right now? Like can you text him right now and see what he says.
What have you texted him or said to him so far?
It's a simple male instinct.
If you get with a women who's fucked a lot of guys the chances of you raising another mans baby and thus not passing on your own genetic heritage become exponentially higher from each guy she's fucked. Along with catching an STD or worse your child gets one through heritage from an infected mother.
Also statistics show the more sexual partners a woman has had the larger is the chances of divorce.
As others have stated: If you've done something with 100 other guys, you aren't anything special at all.
Just like women aren't attracted to short men, men aren't attracted to used vaginas.
That's a pretty high number OP. You need to accept this for a fact.
The fact that you seem nonchalant and unapologetic about this situation is probably the reason your man is upset. Normal people don't typically "indulge" themselves in a new man every couple of months to change things up. The way you say that makes you seem slutty/promiscuous. Do you regard men as clothing that you can just change out of when you want to "change things up"? If so, it's extremely irresponsible and shows your level of maturity.
Your relationship is probably doomed at this point. Your man will probably never trust you again, not because you've had 100 dicks in you, but because you've destroyed his ego. Best course of action is to break up, because I can assure you, if you don't do it, he will.
Why do men and women act like such a hive mind, like who gives a fuck how many sexual partners someone has had? If your bf is really having a hard time stimaching it, break up with him and find a mature guy as opposed to whatever the fuck he's pretending to be.
You mean a guy she'll lie about that fact. It's exactly as >>16686185
Look up jim jeffries on a difference between a stud and a slut. Thats how life works busy :) if ur asexual i cant blame you
How did so many of you fall for this?
The bait is obvious, blatantly so, at that.
How new, and/or stupid, must one be? If you seriously replied to this, you need to take a long, hard look at yourself, and question your intelligence, impulse control, and think on where you are.
>slept with over a hundred guys
you sound like a catch, OP. like, an easy catch. We're talking no bait, just throw that fucking hook in the lake, no line or anything, and you'll come skipping up the beach, pull down my shorts and start sucking my dick.
Why would your boyfriend feel good about being in a relationship with you when the treshold to your body is basically "be in the general vicinity when you want to fuck"? You're too loose, woman.
Why are so many in this thread acting as if it is mature to tolerate a large number of sexual partners? Or, as some have phrased it, as being mature, to have a large number of sexual partners?
If anything, immaturity, and a lack of empathy, are pronounced by being unable to understand why OP's man is so shocked, and hurt.
OP is a cunning troll, however.
I am asexual I don't understand but it does make me hate the human race more and more everyday. So many people upset that they're virgins yet when they meet people perfectly willing to fuck them they get all caught up in their feelings. I don't get it.
Would you feel the same way if she were a he? I would, I hate man sluts just the same. But I'm frankly baffled at the double standard and blame women, partially for encouraging them.
Dante is an everyman. The point of that movie was that it spoke to a generation of retail clerks, and he resolves to get his life turned around at the end, and then he (gets murdered in a holdup, original ending) goes home because in the end it's just another day in his life.
Okay your counter on the sky scrapers is valid.
I'll concede that logically there shouldn't be an issue with how much dick the op has had, but I sympathize with her boyfriend. I'd look down on a guy who's fucked 100 different women too though.
I think the other issue in his mind this raises is comittment problems. I know I'd be wondering how long op would stay if she's going through guys at a clip of about 8 per year.
This. Blatant bait thread.
> Post claims to be a female
> Posts obvious negative female trait
> Pretends like it is not a big deal
> Professional photograph portrait with good lighting of a beautiful model that is clearly not the OP
I should write a guide for spotting bait.
Dump him, if he's acting like a 5 year old I doubt you can just "make" him be more mature.
He either is or isn't.
But desu you shouldn't have admitted that in the first place. I do admit your number is rather large for my taste but I won't judge you, I know people who had more that that but you surely knew how fragile a man's ego is?
I don't see a way to fix this desu, you should have just lied, especially if you knew he had only 2 partners b4 you. 2 vs 100 is very unbalanced (and don't go for the "it's not a competition!" excuse.. for men it is)
I am 32 years old and have been on 4chan for 9 years. I feel qualified to spot bait and make some educated guesses on the demographics of these boards thank you.
> /adv/ - At least half of OP's claiming to be female are actually male.
> /adv/ - Females asking relationship advice are actually males asking from how they perceive the female perspective, or they are asking in such a way to fish for specific types of responses that validate their anger or frustration over how a woman in their life is treating them.
> /b/ Almost no females on this board Statistically insignificant. The few that appear are camwhores looking to spur traffic.
Jesus christ. You're the biggest slut on earth. Not even pornstars sleep around that much.
>It's hard for a guy to accept this. Be empathetic, for god's sake.
because he's a piece of shit whose mad he didn't cum on you first, essentially. whenever men are upset about the number of a woman's past partners its bc:
1. they're anxious and insecure about their experience in comparison to yours.
2. they think you're a slut bc you didn't have sex with them 100 times instead.
dump him, OP, or allow shady behavior on his part forevermore
jesus, but that doesn't mean ALL women have to be like you. i'll never understand y guys get upset over this. if you have expectations for a number of a girl's past partners, say this upfront on the first date. Why should a girl talk about something like that first and foremost to a male stranger? if she's just doing what she wants, she has nothing to prove to you and you still need to illustrate respect to each other - if she finds you respect each other, she'll open up to you about eventually.
BUT THEN you get all butthurt because "boo hoo muh dream gurl" when you finally find out and she reveals something like that because she trusts you and wants to commit to only you. fuck. why can't you get out of YOUR feelings and consider how it makes her feel that all the time you've spent with each other is somehow invalidated by sexual activity prior to being with/knowing you? guy's are always the real jackasses of this sort of situation; in reality, it shouldn't matter that much
OP, don't lie to yourself, and don't lie to him. You're going to cheat on him because you cannot control yourself, you are a slut at heart and nature. It's not your fault, you aren't capable of controlling your needs. If had a bit less self control, you'll be shitting on the streets.
>do something with huge neon signs and centuries of stigmas attached
>doesn't understand when the consequences are exactly as they always are
You don't get to suddenly change the rules. You want to be a slut, be a slut. Good on ya. I mean that. However you don't get to dictate what he is ok with and don't try to pretend you had no clue this might happen. Don't be a slut AND stupid.
You chose to go against the vast majority of society and what is acceptable. Now if you want to talk maturity be mature and accept that you put yourself in this position. Not him.
God I hate this kind of shit. You're a slut and you don't deserve an actual loving partner, your place in society has been determined. Your too dumb to realize that he isn't being immature, he's being entirely legitimate, he wanted love, you aren't smart enough to conceptualize that. All you know is pleasing people by sucking dick.
How the fuck did he find out?!!! NEVER tell him. There's a great chance you ruined your relationship. He's thinking of a hundred dicks you sucked, a hundred dicks that have been inside you and he just doesn't feel special.
Don't get depressed about the comments here. I'm 24, lost my virginity at 14 and slept with 36 people, but they don't need to know that. THEY NEVER NEED TO KNOW THAT. I don't kiss and tell, I'm pretty discreet and all my boyfriends always have thought I slept with 5 people my entire life. They simply don't need to know that. You need to make them feel secure and special. Every man here thinks you are going to cheat on him. I have never cheated in a relationship, rather been cheated on, even if my exes don't know the real number of one night stands I've had in my life, I'm faithful and they are not. Men can't know this shit. They get insecure.
what you are asking is basically "how do i make a beta cuk fuccboi become alpha"
the answer to this question eludes humanity for as long as it exists, its like a philosophers stone for society
Never trust women.
When they tell you their number of sexual partners, always multiply it by 5 and relegate her to the pump and dump status that you'll drop within a few weeks.
Also all the thirsty whiteknights ITT defending this whore of an OP are fucking pathetic.
It's natural for men to be disgusted by women with high partner counts and see them as nothing more than a potential one-night stand and this is completely justified.
Sluts cheat more, are more likely to divorce you, more likely to have an STD, less likely to be enthusiastic about doing kinky shit with you since they've already tried all there was to try with 100 Tyrone's and decided that they don't want to do it anymore since the beta bucks should be happy with just getting sex occassionally.
You know I'm right and deep inside you do feel that those heavily used women are repulsive and worthless, trust your male instinct and don't let sluts fool you into thinking that a "real man" doesn't care and happily settles for a slut.
Women like you shouldn't be in relationships if you can't understand how he feels cause he's probably slept with the women he loved an you fucked for fun like a whore no wonder you don't get it. Also good bait for the over sensitive people
It could simply be that he has performance anxiety and given that the thinks you could be comparing him to over 100 other guys it could be quite a lot.
Male egos are quite fragile in this respect :)
But how you are supposed to make him realise that this has nothing to do with you wanting to be with him is something I have no answer for.
However try and get him to understand that you like him and want to be with him but make sure that he has to get his shit together if this relationship is to continue. Maybe a couple of months from 'the talk'.
If he can't get his head around it then I'm afraid that the relationship is broken.