I'm what most of you would call a normie and I just don't crave either. What attention I need I give myself. I live with friends and have a girlfriend and am emotionally satisfied, most times I find myself looking for solitude and time to myself.
>>16680847 I'm pretty much bathed in solitude, far away from friends and never really had a partner. The people who say you need to first learn to enjoy your own company come only right so far, being perfectly content in your own company doesn't eradicate the need to be seen and touched.
I hate this idea that needing people is some kind of a character flaw and the mark of an incomplete person. If eveyone needed to wait until they didn't need people in order to deserve people, we would all die alone.
By doing the leg work to set it up. If I want company, I make the plans and invite the people. If I want affection, I arrange the circumstances that are conducive to it. I don't just stand around waving my arms like a mad man.
>>16680961 I truly, genuinely don't know. I thought you would. I was told to get a good social security net, that the support from friends will always be more valuable than having a partner. When I asked for this person to elaborate, she got offended and called me ungrateful for shooting down all her advice. I still don't know what I'm supposed to do.
If I'm feeling lonely or down, and I want "support" from my friends, it's usually just in the form of a distraction. I'll invite them over to my place, or out to a pub, buy a round of drinks, bitch about my problems a bit, they'll say "aw that sucks," maybe bitch about their problems, then we talk about other shit, get a little drunk, have some fun joking around and doing dumb shit, then everyone goes home and I feel a little better.
But at a certain point, you can't expect your friends to play psychiatrist for free, and you can't really expect them to fulfill the emotional role of a partner in your life.
But if it's just a matter of loneliness, just invite them to do stuff more often. Maybe try hosting a weekly movie night at your place, something like that. But it needs to be something fun, you can't expect them to come over just to hear you complain. I think women get to have those kinds of friendships, but as a man, it's never really worked that way except occasionally with my brother.
>>16681052 They're really not exclusive to 3 am but I've learnt to pace them to when I'm alone. Every few months during good times and several times per day during bad times. It varies. I didn't cry today so I guess it's getting better right now.
I know this is probably not what you're hoping to hear, but honestly, you can't really unload too much of that stuff on your friends. There just isn't much they can do to help you sort it out. And if you have a friend or family member who constantly needs to be talked down from a crisis, it can get exhausting, no matter how much you care about them.
You're better off addressing the root of the problem, than making your friends deal with the symptoms. If you don't feel your psychiatrist has really made progress, maybe you should find a different one.
But I hope you try my advice about just inviting your friends for activities and shit, more often. You'd be surprised how much it can help just to have other people around, making you laugh and distracting you from your own thoughts for a bit. It sounds like you're up in your head too much, and a bit of fun would do you a lot of good. It's not a cure, but it's a way you can just give yourself a break sometimes.
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