>she's shy, afraid of relationship etc
>smartest, most gorgeous girl I've ever laid eyes on
>has the cutest accent
>slowly bringing her out of her comfort zone
>really flirty with each other, text n call after school
>asking to semi formal tomorrow
Here's the kicker,
>i do weird stalker-like shit
>doesn't text me for a couple days
>assume she's busy with school
>made sense, she's top of every class
>tonight, wake up after napping for a few hrs
>no messages from her
>finish replying to shit
>the online stalker in me surfaces
>check fb, active now
>check fb of friendzoned who ended up cutting contact with her
>i'm feeling it now
>check friendzoned's twitter
>tweet from friendzoned saying omg how can someone mean nothing to you after so long
>gay depressed tweets for months
>check fb again, went offline 1 min after her
Am I being autistic? Everything's more than fine when we're with eachother, but she just hasn't texted me since the weekend which is fine I guess. I don't wanna ask her why and come off needy or whatever because she's swamped with school. It's just that the thought of her talking to him makes me wanna fucking explode, and the fact that he's being a depressed fag about it makes it even worse. I guess the obvious answer is that I'm absolutely being dumb because I am certain I'm 100x better of a person than him, but they were really close and he tried to get with her hard. Does this all sound like complete jealousy that I need to stomp the fuck out now, or do I have a right to worry about this considering we're not dating yet? Sry for sounding rly weird, thx.
Wait, so she friendzoned a guy, he posted depressing stuff about her not caring, and you're worried? Do you think it's some crazy plot where he's stalking you as you stalk other people, pretending to be friendzoned/depressed/hurt for months while secretly being happy and dating her?
What specifically are you worried about then? If he's annoying or whatever she'll eventually stop talking to him. It's when you try to FORCE people to stop talking to someone that you run into issues. It pushes people away and is the first red flag in what generally ends up being a controlling relationship.
You're probably confusing pitying with really caring about someone. Although pity isn't necessarily bad, it's often used in a more negative sense. More of "I feel bad for but sort of look down on." Which is sort of echoed by him posting "omg how can someone mean nothing to you after so long." That.. does not sound happy or like he's getting any warmth from the conversation.
I never planned on doing anything about it, I just wanted to know if my thoughts were justified, and from what you said it seems like they totally aren't. This is some good insight so thank you
Also tweet was 2hr before they were done talking ig
It's alright, just sounds like you're worrying a bit much and letting it go to your head. Mostly I was trying to figure out what even were your thoughts or worries. And looks like mostly it's just that you don't like it. Which is fine, but that's definitely more jealousy than any specific worry about something happening.
I specialize in over thinking and worrying about things too much.
I've never been able to stop it unless I'm occupied with something, and right now I'm loaded with work I don't want to do so my brain's rekt. I feel guilty for doing anything besides schoolwork, and I procrastinate my way out of doing homework.
Besides keeping busy, how do I tell those false thoughts and scenarios to piss off? I can eventually rationalize all of my thoughts and realize I'm being stupid, but sometimes I get caught up in the moment and end up doing something weird like making an adv thread lmao
I'm actually not sure exactly. Posted something before once, what I've started trying to do. For me, my issue is I start thinking about depressing stuff from my life even when I'm doing okay. Here's the hard part that relies on you, when you start overthinking or following a bad train of thoughts, tell yourself STOP.
Any sort of way it will help you. Say outloud to yourself to stop. Or just say it in your head "Stop, I'm not going to continue thinking about this. Instead I am going to.. whatever.." And then keep doing that. Every time. Maybe talk to someone if you have to, though not sure I'd generally recommend /adv/ if it's anything to do with dating.
And for fun: Once I freaked out after I sneezed in my cat's face, and then he started sneezing a lot. Internally I started worrying if I had gotten him sick with some weird human germ that was really bad for cats, or some sort of crazy thing where somehow my cat was never going to get better and it was all my fault.
Then I felt like smashing my head through a wall when I cuddled him and sneezed from the dirt in his fur from him running under the house. He was just dusty and making up both sneeze.
Sometimes you might get caught up in the moment. That's okay, people mess up. If the worst you do is make a thread asking other people for help, well that's better control than some people have. It's when you can't ever pull yourself back and rationalize things. Then there's a serious problem that's really hard to help.
This is rly nice stuff. I'll admit looking for relationship advice here probably wasn't the best idea, I just needed to vent without making my friends or family think I'm some obsessive weirdo. Some days I have the ability to realize I'm thinking about bad shit and I just say nope that's stupid stop. It's just that I've become so used to it that I don't have the proper instinct sometimes, but I'm trying.