>20+ year old virgin
>spent years masturbating
>anxiety problems because of College
>finally get around with a girl
>can't pop a boner
Jesus H. Christ anons, I fucked up. I fooled around with her and even fingerfucked her but I couldn't keep my boner up. What the fuck do I do? Hours before I took an anxiety supplement whose side effects include some ED but I have also spent years as a porn addict.
It's alright OP, same thing happened to me on my first time when I was 21. I freaked out about it for a while but now I realise I wasn't totally relaxed like I should have been during sex. It also didn't help that the chick I was with was experienced and only about a 7/10 in my books.
I made plans to see her tonight and even talked about having sex. I just researched my particular drug and it says its out of my system in 37 hours at most. I'm fucking dying here with the worst anxiety I've ever felt, literally frozen at times thinking what might happen if I can't pop a boner again.
It's alright, had the same happen to me, but after the second time I had no problem. In my case I was so nervous, but as we got more comfortable the problem went away. The more you think about it, the worse it's gonna get.
Also, try to breath and relax, which might be hard if you're nervous/anxiety-filled or whatever, but try
I already made plans to watch a movie at her apartment. I'll just tell her what I researched about the drug and tell her we should take it slowly. Even if I manage to pop a boner tonight I might not be able to maintain so I best not risk it.
Im neither. Projecting that hard is really sad. What do you think girls talk about on campus. You know how many stories Ive heard of virgins who couldnt get it up. I dont even find that shit funny because it could happen to me but thats how girls are.
Why the fuck would you get together with a girl who could even conceive to talk shit about you or your dick.
Seriosuly dude, have you ever had a meaningful relationship? Have some self-worth, damn i.
And don't tell me all girls are like that, no doubt some (or many) are, but again, how about getting together with a girl worth a damn?
do you even know what projecting means, you fucking retard? are you really that much of a dumb teenager with no critical thinking that thinks that every assumption one makes out of people is "le projecting"?
>he doesnt think girls talk about dicks together
Thats cute. No matter the girl, if you cant get it up theyll talk about it.
Its not just about you and your insecure dick. Its damaging to the girl as well. A lot of times they blame themselves for not being sexy enough and it really hurts their feelings. And the natural consequence is they going around talking to others and it spreads that youre a limp dick faggot.
Again, your second line is correct.
Your first line is just your experience with girls. A girl who loved you or even just respected you as a person will simply not do that. Why? Because she respects you (or respected you). if she didn't, why would have she got together with you in the first place?
i'm speaking regarding meaningful relationships, not just hookups or shallow relationships or random sex, i have no experience with bitches or mean girls.
Are you new? That post wasn't me, i tought that was obvious.
Also don't go "holier than thou" because your argument is result of generalization of how girls act rather than meaningful experience/advice.
>A girl who loved you or even just respected you as a person will simply not do that.
This is adorable. Women talk to each other. If you cant accept that dont get in a relationship with them. If you think that they dont it just shows you dont have experience.
>Because she respects you (or respected you)
kek. you think a woman is going to swallow a damage ego because you want her to respect you. Shes about to seek comfort. be glad its not a different guy at least.
>your argument is result of generalization of how girls act rather than meaningful experience/advice.
My point is what to expect from how women generally treat this situation. It has never happened to me fortunately, but I hear about it all the time. Women talk about dicks. A lot. Learn to accept it and expect it. Its not always them criticizing, but it gets mentioned.
My post give both advice and meaningful experience. Stop being a child and learn to accept that people dont always act the way you like. You dont really have secrets.
I told her last night. My main problem stems from not knowing the main cause of the ED. Maybe it was because it was my first time, maybe the drug, maybe the anxiety or maybe a combination of all of the above. My secondary problem is just a bruised ego and maybe having hurt her feeling like some anons have said.
The worst thing you can do is literally to focus on getting a boner in the moment.
Go with the flow
BUY YOURSELF TIME WITH FOREPLAY
seriously, finger her or go down on her
Chances are you'll get so into it that you'll stop focusing on your dick and when you can let go of the pressure to preform and just focus on having fun it'll happen naturally.
Do you death grip. Do you fap incorrectly somehow.
Either way go no fap no porn like I keep saying.
Eventually, no matter how anxious you are youre going to want to start humping things and anything will turn you on. if you keep dwelling on the ED it really will be anxiety if its not already.
Secondly take the pressure off sex. During your no fap period play around in bed with the girl. Get used to her touching your dick. Dont have her jerk you or anything but some passionate kissing and skinship is extremely erotic and will get you used to her body and without the pressure of sex it will be easier to get a boner.
i took me months to get a proper boner with my gf, a big part of the prpblem was that i had phimosis so i needed a surgery, after that it was eay better.
i think its a combo of factors, it wont go away just as easy as they told you. your best bet is going raw with her on.your first pre sex boner or semi.boner, she must be on her pill.you will go limp after some mins but after that is goingto get betterand better, tell her that you really like her and that you will try your best. in the meanwhile, eat pussy and fancy dinners
No deathgrip but I have beaten off, like actually beaten my dick not just normal fapping because the anxiety pills gave me soft boners. Fuck, I really brought this shit on myself.
I'm free today so I'll be on "detox" and nofap, I'll see her tonight but I'll just take things slow. She's really into me or I just managed to get her horny because I did pretty much everything but oral and actual penetration yesterday so I don't know how she'll take the going slow but I just can't handle another blow to my ego and I'm not sure why I got the ED yet so I'll play it safe, nofap, no pills and no sex until I can actually get a normal boner.
>fap incorrectly to force climax because cant get hard
>think this isnt going to have any effect on sex
Yeah you brought it on yourself. My advice comes from being in a similar position. I could get up but I couldnt get off. was like part of the 10% of men that learn to fap by humping things and sex isnt a comparable feelings.
I had to retrain myself on how to fap because I got to do no fap. Imagine how fun it is edging for a month but just cant get off.
>I had to retrain myself on how to fap
Tell me about this retraining. Looking back I either beat off when my dick was soft or just edged for hours. I already found out actual sex is nothing like that but how can I transition from that unhealthy masturbation to normal sex? I dread fucking up again.
I had to fap regularly and gently. You dont get a boner well fuck you, you dont get to climax. You have a boner but cant get off, sucks to be you.
Im cant remember but I dont think I started with no porn. I think I used porn to get a boner and then tried to fap regularly until after a month I finally climax. I slipped back into the habit but it was easier to break once I knew how to fap. By the end of the month from edging non stop I was fucking going crazy and ready to hump any girl I saw. After no porn no fap for a few months I got boners from seeing girls in bras like I was a fucking child.
Also my girl was pretty devastated that she couldnt get me off no matter what but while we were making out I ended up cheating and dry humping her once to climax. She was far more happy that I got off than weirded out by it.
I also went nightmare mode and and forced myself to learn how to fap with the light touch of my left hand without any porn. It was hell but once I told my girl that she could rub me off after finally succeeding she was so happy so to see me climax.
Its emotionally traumatizing for both of you. I tried to play it off like it was no big deal that I couldnt get off at first but it was destroying her mental image and she 'didnt feel like a woman.' Its better for her if you just tell her your fears and how you feel.
>try to pop a boner
>still soft and it dies in a minute
Does anyone how much it takes to recover?
That's odd. Lay off the porn.
My problem was that too much fapping has makes me last a long long time before i can cum. Eventually I get tired and stop trying. I've cum from sex a small percentage of the time I've had sex and it blows.
My girlfriend and I lost our virginity in New Year. Im 19 and same problem. Greentext here.
>we dont like partying but go all night out watching fireworks and drinking something with her
>arrive to her home at 7 AM, both tired as fuck
>we are tired so we decide to rest
>we sleep together, I spoon her at bed
>I cant sleep, dead arm, her bed is too warm Im sweating and I have a boner that wont go down for a few hours
>some more hours pass
>I havent slept like at all
>she wakes up
>we start kissing and I get hard again
>she gets really wet and warm
>we look at eachother smiling and decide its the time to try sex
>I bring a condom and put it on
>she wants to be on top so she can make sure it doesnt hurt
>she prepares to get on top
>meanwhile my dick goes soft out of nowhere
>cant penetrate her
>cant get it up no matter what
>Im a grower, condom looks ridiculous now
>she strokes it and sucks it with no luck
>dont know what the fuck is wrong with me, I've been hard all night
>she says it doesnt matter, hugs me and says we should try again later
>we cuddle at her bead eating something and watching a movie on her laptop
>after some time I take out her boobs from her bra, start sucking them and biting her nipples
>she gets really wet and horny again
>I get a sick boner and crazy horny
>I feel warm inside, like I need to throw her at bed and pound her
>she gets on missionary position
>put on condom
>boner keeps alive this time somehow
>I get it in
>mfw its happening
>its so damn warm, wet and a bit tight
>she whines a bit in the beginning
>I go slow
>says it hurts but wants it so bad
>I pound her for a good while
>she is laying with her eyes closed, moaning, grabbing my arms and moving her body to the beat of my pumping
>I whisper her in the ear and kiss her neck while at it
>in certain angles it feels great for me, but in others and due to the condom I barely feel my dick
>feels like Im going to come
>I stop pumping to kiss her while my dick is still in
>same story again
>I start thinking on my boner because of this
>I pound her and then my dick starts going down while at it
>we watch the movie and eat a bit again
>I get hard and she gives me a handjob while I finger her and suck her boobs
>after some time I need to cum
>I still have the condom on
>she's stroking me
>i tell her when its late and Im already strating to cum
>she wants to swallow it
>she grabs it to change position and swallow it better
>Im shaking and orgasming
>IM COMING STROKE IT STROKE IT
>"should I take off the condom"?
>Im almost done
>she takes off the condom
>swallows my cock as deep as she can
>better late than never
>feels good mang
We agreed it was great while it lasted but we didnt expect this, We want to try again soon and I wonder how its going to go in the second time ._. I'd like to not fuck this up, I love her
20 year old virgin here.
I would probably be a two pump chump since I get a raging hard on every time I'm within 5 feet of a girl I'm attracted to. Maybe that doesn't matter when the pressure is on though...
It can also be your subconscious tell you that she's not right for you.
I was with one girl that was in relationship, we fooled around but I had hard time keeping it up during sex. I think I knew it was wrong.
Nah situation man if anything you probably won't be able to jizz.
>21 year old virgin
>Touch a girl , kiss a girl, hug a girl basically any interaction I get a raging hard on, a friend of mine bite me on the arm and I was rock solid
>Finally start to fool around with a girl but not sex, she jerking me off and sucking me trying to get me hard
>Kind of get hard but till floppy, goes up and down
She was a trier though, she tried everything but I could not jizz. Its the vice like grip I use when jerking off so a mouth, her inexperienced hands, soft boobs or pussy cannot match.
Worse yet is I am finding it harder and harder to jerk off. It sometimes takes me an hour or two to cum and most times I get tired.