Yesterday gf told me 2 of her ex's randomly messaged her. One asked her to 'catch up', to which she said 'i have a bf, he wouldn't like that', and then according to her she ignored him after that. Another guy she used to see messaged her and she had a smallish convo with just general chit chat (with smiley emojis and stuff).
She doesn't speak to her ex's ever (as far as I know), but I don't like her speaking to people she has a history with, even if its just innocent general chit chat. Am I unreasonable about this? When I told her this she turned it on me saying 'you can't expect me to be rude and ignore people, its just small talk, if they suggested anything I'd ignore'.
Am I being unreasonable about this or do I have a right to be annoyed? Also she randomly disappeared on text today for about 3 and a bit hours (usually if she is gone for a while she will let me know she is going out).
Should I be concerned or anything? Advice much appreciated
If your gf reported this to her then you should demonstrate your appreciation of her actions.
Everyone is susceptible to temptation and seduction. Those who do not succumb to it make a habit of avoid it. She demonstrated this. Reward her.
I remember dating a girl (highschool/college era) who acted the same. Turns out she was fucking around. Long story short.
If she's very protective of her phone, then she's hiding something. At that point I'd just walk, whores will be whores...
Yeah I'm very grateful she tells me if an ex messages her. I just am unsure if ex's should never ever speak, and if this is disrespectful towards. I know she wouldn't like it if I spoke to an ex.
Thankfully she isn't protective of her phone. During the argument she sent me screenshots of convo to prove what she said etc. But then again a few screenshots don't show the whole convo..
>you can't expect me to be rude and ignore people, its just small talk, if they suggested anything I'd ignore'.
drop the subject or she is going to talk to them just to piss you off, just have a small fight over this >>16675513 then drop it
eh. depends on how long you've been dating.
if you live together. if it's long term. if you're talking/thinking about marriage...
then okay, you can ask her to respect your feelings.
but if it isn't any of those things yet, then you're being unreasonable.
she has a right to keep a sort of net of people. obviously she doesn't have the right the flirt or hangout with them. but if she's rude, she may lose them as friends. and again, if things don't work out with you, she should be able to return to her life unscathed.
Well, if she's "allowed" to talk to exes and you're "not allowed" (let's be honest here) to talk to classmates, then she's insecure...and there's an obvious problem.
When I mean "protective of her phone" I mean. Does she hide the screen from view? Is it always locked? Is it "attached to her hip" all the time?
On my previous comment, with my old ex she acted the same. Always told me about whoever she was talking to and etc. Which included exes, class mates and etc. But she always had an issue with me talking to any female. For any reason! She was insecure and loved secrets. Turns out when she was cheating on me she would tell me these little things as a way to deal with her guilt. When I started to catch onto her lies, little innocent stories did a 180. For example, a lift home from school turned into a blow job...
It should be fine for both of you to speak to your ex's as long as it's simple friendliness. A big thing that drove me away from my ex was that he was completely unable to let me be friends with a guy I hooked up with, someone who was and still is one of my best friends.
You should both be allowed to talk to whoever you want as long as it doesn't cross the line. If you trust eachother then that won't be a problem.
Nah she isn't secretive about her phone at all. She will go through texts, snaps, fb etc in front of me. I'm 99% confident she isn't cheating. There's never really been anything sus at all (other than 3 hour text gap today but she said she was asleep)