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Should I just break up with her?
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice

Thread replies: 33
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We will have been going out for 2 years in March which makes this very difficult. We are both shy and don't have any friends. I like hanging out with her but she never took the relationship seriously. She makes stuff up in her mind like Me asking to put "in a relationship" on Facebook was a conspiracy to get back at my ex, when I asked her if she loved me she was thrown off that I'd ask about love she said yes but she wouldn't ask back because she already made up her mind that I don't love her (this was months ago) I find myself generally having to prove myself while she doesn't do much but tag along.

This weekend my friends setup an old school LAN party, I went (told her about this days in advance) and she got mad even though she could have wen or texted me that she wanted to hangout. And now accusing me that this has been a "pretend" relationship. This comes at a bad time because I thought we would be moving in together in a month or two. But I can't stand that I have to provide and do everything in the relationship. I really do like her, I find her very attractive. I also have tried finding dates when I thought the relationship was over before and no one would go out with me. It worries me that I'll be alone if I do break up.

Pic related, dat ass. It's what's at steak here.
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She sounds insecure about the relationship. Have you asked her why she wants you to validate your relationship constantly?
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>>16674492
Having no friends and being used a lot I guess she likes the feeling of being pampered. Which I like to do but she doesn't do it back and claims I'm using her if I don't.
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I'm no expert but try being a bit of a hardass or demanding and controlling. She would probably respond well to it. The acting out is a way of testing you. Be more rough. You can't change who you are though.
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She sounds borderline or something. Have her see a therapist.
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post another pic of her ass

sounds like a stupid cunt desu but i'd probably try to find a way to keep fucking her unless she's really that bad
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>>16674485
She might be cheating on you OP.
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>>16674485
Sounds like my ex

It won't get better, She will find more reasons to not trust you and you will slip up and give her even more reasons until you start losing personal freedom. Either commit to being her slave or break it off now. You won't be able to make her happy in this state.
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Don't be in fear. U shouldn't depend on ur significant other to be happy. Don't subjugate urself into bullshit. If a chick try's to hand u shit on a plate don't accept it it's only to,e till u stand up to the bully or ur a bitch. Move on because she is a hack.
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>>16674923
>>16674834
Ok so here's the thing. She did see a therapist in October. She told her that she felt like seeing other people and the therapist said for her to do what she wanted to do. So she did despite my wishes against it. November she came back crying to me because every date was an asshole. It was good in the sense it seemed like she learned how much I care about her and I treat her well, and she did cold turkey on her thoughts of seeing other people. But it did not strengthen our relationship by any means since this should have been in the first place if she listened to me instead.
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>>16674834
>>16674923
Why is it that there's always someone in a thread with one of these two answers?
>she has BPD
>she's cheating on you

To address your question OP. Just cut it off with her. I know you don't want to but reread what you just wrote as if you were me. You're going to be lonely but it's better than being in a mess of a relationship.
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>>16675046
It wouldn't have to be a mess if she'd stop being retarded
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>>16675086
She will never stop, women don't have it in them to be rational.
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She's cheating. My ex would do the same.
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>>16675030
You got to be fucking kidding me.

Be a man and dump her ass.
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>>16675344
Omg you are my knight. I fucking hate reading these types of threads. Like wdf, being used is apparently okay as long as there is a pussy involved. Bro pussy in the market is know around 30-80 dollars depending on region!!!
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>Pic related, dat ass. It's what's at steak here.
>at ateak
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Don't stick your dick in crazy! She'll only get worse, like blackmail you for rape of something...

Best to break it off, but before you do spend like a month doing whatever she wants. But treat her like a total POS whore, then just break it off.
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Look - she might have a cute ass now but the rolls are beginning to develop as we speak. See that fat line where her bra cuts in?

This along with her rabit lack of sense from what you tell us can mean only one thing.

1 year - marriage and manipulation.
2 years - squeeze out a child, more manipulation.
5 years - absolute screaming nutcase landwhale and your remaining life is in the trash.

You can turn this round - but you have to be at least twice the man you proport to be now.

You know what I mean - you HAVE to be in charge.. because she can't and will destroy you both.

Can't do this? - break up!
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>>16675877
*Rabid*
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Post a view of her rack, so we can get a better view if it's actually worth it...
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>>16675893
I have no picture of her rack but it's a 34D.

It's a real shame I have to let her go, I've spent 2 years of my life with her and she hasn't improved one bit. She texted me now that she was mad about the LAN party because she was going to take me to Revenant. Which makes no sense telling me an entire day later (later than that when I mentions this thing days earlier) and it wasn't like it was all day.
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>>16675966
break up with her over text, trust me. Sounds like my ex.
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>>16675966
Normally I would say give her a chance to change and grow but it sounds like she has no interest in that. Break up.
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Do guys get off on being in relationships with women who are batshit insane? I see variations of OP's story quite a bit.
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Run op
She won't get better, anyone that controls who you see or makes you feel bad about maintaining friendships is bad news and they usually get my much worse over time.
Also; if you're constantly having to try and win her trust she either craves attention or she'll never take you seriously as a partner and more than likely take advantage of you in the long run.
Regardless I wouldn't want to deal with either of those outcomes.
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She might be manipulative, or she might just be extremely paranoid and reading into/making a bunch of connections that aren't there. If it's the latter, she should get help. You could try going to counseling if you really want things to work
Is she depressed? Depressed people fall into this dangerous looping thought that nobody really cares about them so they shut down/close off/push people away. If the people stay away, they didn't care. If they don't stay away, then the depressed person can say "Wow I'm so shitty and these people still care. I'm making their lives worse." Regardless of which it is, it only leaves room to feel bad. Either people don't care, or they shouldn't care because it'd be better for them if they didn't.
That's not something you can fix. You can be supportive if she wants to get help, but the effort has to come from her.

Also stuff like this
>I also have tried finding dates when I thought the relationship was over before and no one would go out with me. It worries me that I'll be alone if I do break up.
Although understandable, this kind of thing might be why she worries. Sounds like just not being alone is an important factor. Even if you don't tell someone they're better than having no one, there can be little things they pick up on. Doesn't really build someone's confidence or security in a relationship.
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>>16675966
2 years and you don't have a pic of her rack.

I call Bulls hit!
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if you guys are moving in together, does she have a place to go if you dump her? its gonna be really shitty if you're living together when you dont even want to be with her and you feel trapped
end it sooner rather than later, better for the both of you
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>>16675779
>at ateak
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>>16676049
Why take a picture when I can see it anytime I wanted?

>>16676004
She's attractive to me, I like being the one taking care of her and was hoping for something out of it but now I finally realize.

>>16676004
I found her attractive and cute when we got along. Her life is pretty terrible and I wanted to help her through it.

>>16676066
She can get her own apartment and find a roommate, which will be a complete stranger, probably off Craiglist. Her life will turn to shit after I let her go.
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OP, you need to break up with her. Unless you like being treated with disrespect and manipulated, then continue seeing her.
She has multiple red flags going on. Moving in with her will only make her manipulation stronger. You wont be allowed to see friends or family unless she says so. If you do hang out with them w/o her say so then she'll yell at you, ignore you, and withhold sex.

It sounds like youre afraid of being alone, since the most common reason you wont leave her is because shes attractive. You need to work on yourself & be more confident. Staying with her will drain what little confidence you do have.
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Dude you have to be a fucking man. You take charge, DO NOT PLAY HER "GAMES" OF VALIDATION. JUST TELL HER YOU LOVE HER AND THAT'S IT. NO VALIDATION NECESSARY. NO MORE BULLSHIT.

JUST TELL HER YOU DON'T WANT MORE BULLSHIT, TELL HER SHE SHOULD TRUST YOU ON ITS OWN.

IF SHE CAN'T COMPLY WITH THIS, BREAK IT OFF, BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE HANDLING THE STEERING WHEEL IN YOUR LIFE, YES YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. SHE WILL BE CONTROLLING IT AND YOU WILL WASTE YOUR LIFE.

BE A LEADER. DON'T TREAT HER LIFE A STUPID SLAVE THOUGH.
Thread replies: 33
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