I'm not sure what to do regarding this situation. I have a friend who is struggling quite immensely.
His mother passed away in August, he is in really poor health (he can't walk due to a nerve rupture), and is facing homelessness and cannot work due to his poor health. He said he might be going into surgery. Every time I talk to him I wish this hadn't of happened to him. I've been there for him a lot. And he is my friend.
Today, he asked me what resources I'd be willing to offer. I said I'd always be his friend. I don't know what he meant by that. I think he was implying money. I've been saving money for a bit now, and have enough to pay for this semester of school. I graduate in May, and I'm applying to different branches of National Service. So I won't be making a lot of money.
I figured the best thing I could do for him is pay for his rent for the next month. Do you think this is the right thing to do? I just don't want to be put in a position where he thinks I'll always be able to pay for his rent. But I don't know what to do.
Has anyone else been in this situation, where they have a friend that is truly suffering and don't know what to do? What can I do for him?
Thank your time!
Ask him about his expectations and plans for the future.
I'm from west europe and I' m sure he'd get plenty of money from the government to survive. If you are from somewhere else I don't know though.
If you want to help him try to seek help for him. Where are you from, the UK? There must be some state-funded programs that could help him. You shouldn't get involved financially cause it will end badly.
I live in the US. I suggested he apply for disability, but he said it takes two years. I'm not if this is actually true or not. I don't know if the US is good at taking care of people like that. I feel like I have a moral obligation to help him in some way, though. I just don't want to overextend myself. I fear that if I pay his rent or something, that he'll think that I will always be able to do so.
You are a good friend. That being said, don't feel obligated to straight up give him money. Help him get in contact with your local human services office. They can get him the help he needs. They can get him food stamps, healthcare, and can even assist with rent money.
Yes disability takes a while and is very difficult to get. But he can get other aid immediately or at least at the beginning of next month. Make sure he knows this, offer to drive him to the application office or help with the application online.
That's good advice. I don't really want to get financially involved with him or anybody. I thought about going to see him in his city on Friday and bringing him lunch and a little "care pack". I'll see if there's anything that would be helpful for him in his city.
Does anyone that lives in the US know of anything that might help somebody like him? I've thought about ESM.
Thank you everyone for the advice.
: ^ )
I'm going to call human resources in his city and see if there is anything that can help him get started on the road to healing and recovery.
Do you think it would be offensive if I made a list of what I found and gave it to him along with some other necessities the next time I see him? I just don't feel I have all of the resources, but don't want to make it appear that I don't care.
No. Of course he's your friend and all, but I would be weary about paying rent for friends or acquaintances, or dealing with sizable sums of moneybin general. Even more so when theu may not be able to pay you back.
Your academics are probably more important, since they'll have a greater impact on your future. I suggest you find some other means of supporting your friend.