Alright, here goes.
>Was dating a girl for 3 and a half years.
>Gave her everything without being clingy n' shit.
>A month ago, she asked me to bring her her laptop so she could check something out and weird messages popped up while I was carrying it to her.
>"Hey babe, when we seeing again"
>I went fuck it and read into the convo.
>She cheated on me the day before.
>Confronted woman about it, she admitted it.
>Dumped her, don't want her back
Here's where the issue comes in:
I've lost my confidence in myself. In my looks and personality. And I've also lost my sex drive. I'm not a bad looking guy and have had girlfriends throughout my life (am 23 now), but suddenly I'm worried about everything. My Height, my weight, my physique, my dick size and I don't feel attractive or wanted.
TL;DR I got cheated on by long term girlfriend, have lost all confidence, motivation and willpower.
Wat do? How to get over?
Can someone kill all cheaters please? Why the fuck is it so hard for people to be honest. Just break up if you're not happy!
Anyway OP I'm in a similar position and I think we should just get back out there.
Time. It's unfortunately the only correct answer to your question. Right now you're not in a place yet to be able to put all of this in perspective. It will come eventually. But it might well take a year to do it. However, to give you some light at the end of the tunnel: when you do finally get through this phase, you'll be stronger than ever.
a point will come where this betrayal will not preoccupy your day, promise but as other anons mention it takes time. Betrayal by the one most trusted is horrible and happens to us all at some point.
As others have said, nothing but time is going to help. You're going to feel like shit for a good long while. Try not to dwell on it as much as possible. Do things you enjoy doing to try and take your mind off. Also don't use this as an excuse to hate women. Not everyone is a piece of shit like that.
Do you know any other details to the story? Like why did she cheat? What did she say when you confronted her? Who was it with?
Your reaction's normal. It'll get better, you just need to take some time and think about it. Talk about it if you can. You need to get through it.
In my experience being cheated on is something that you never forget even though you've forgiven the person and moved on. It becomes a neutral incident in your memory but it just fucking sits there, unwilling to leave. Take a good look at it and then stop giving a fuck, it may not go away but you'll find it isn't really as big and dramatic as it felt back then. She was an asshole and that's that. You're lucky you found out.
I know of details. She said she cheated because she felt our flame was fading and she didn't love me anymore (I got pretty pissed, should have just left me before she did that).
She said she was sorry and she wasn't thinking, but it was still pretty apparent she didn't love me anymore.
And I do know the person vaguely who it was with, but I found his identity out later through hear-tell by our circle of friends.
Wow yeah, sounds like she was being a big cunt.
I've been cheated on by a long time girlfriend too, so o know what you're going through. You'll feel really shitty for a long time, but honestly, try not to let it keep you down. After I got cheated on, I started dating again and meet the woman that would become my wife. It's the best relationship I've ever been in and looking back, I'm glad the other relationship ended. I still feel appalled that she cheated on me, but in a way it worked out for me in that I met my wife and discovered what a good relationship could be like. So basically, try to look forward because time will help, and hopefully you'll move on to someone who's not awful.
Your words of comfort actually do help. I've been unable to really tell too many people what I'm going through because a lot of our friends are the same and I refuse to go so low as to slander her in front of her friends, regardless what she did.
So I really appreciate all of your input, every Anon who took the time to post here.
No problem, man. You're taking the high ground on badmouthing her, I can respect that. It sounds like you're a pretty good guy, and I have no doubt you'll attract an equally good girl. You'll get through the rough patch man, and come out stronger for having gone through it.
the same thing happened to me, I got cheated on by a boyfriend of 3 years and it kills me. I used to find myself attractive and stuff before but recently that's changed and I fear I wont find anyone who treats me right or who wont cheat on me.
lately though Ive been doing hot yoga and it kind of helps, it takes my mind off things at least for a bit
OP, try your best not to take it personal. I have a friend who has been cheated on by 9 of 10 of his past girlfriends, and he's very attractive and supposedly has a gigantic dick. It has nothing to do with you. Cheating whores are cheating whores. Anyone who lacks the moral fiber to resist cheating is going to cheat sometime regardless of the situation. That's how things go. There's nothing you can do other than try to find a female that isn't a cheater.
Damn, reading that felt like a knife to the heart. Very similar to how me and my girlfriend of 2 years broke up. It's been over a year, but reading that shit brought it all back... Sorry about what happened anon, but I can say that time helps. I don't feel nearly as insecure as I did a year ago, maybe even more confident than when I was with my ex. Keep your chin up, you'll come around.