How can I stop thinking I'll be friends with my ex eventually?
We broke up cause we weren't a good fit in the long run and it wasn't the most civil break-up since he refused to talk about it in mature way and kept making stupid excuses, making me feel like shit about the whole thing due to that.
I realize that it might be better to not keep in touch but because I'm not very experienced socially I have this stupid thing where I want to be civil with everyone I've been close to. Like if I chose to be with him then there must be something good in him right? He's really been acting like a douchebag though. How can I stop building someone up in my mind and realize he might not even deserve benefit of the doubt.
Define a long time.
I mean he's the one who wanted to be friends so I don't know. I'm just wondering if I should be friends with someone who disregarded my feelings to such a degree. Maybe he didn't even mean it when he said it though.
Just move on and let it go he's not worth your time. It's your life though do what you like. gotta sleep so take care cause there will be much worse problems you will have in the future. You will think back and remember how silly this was.
I guess but my previous relationship ended really terribly so there was never even a chance of staying in touch. I'm not quite sure how to approach this.
Fuck you. Not everyone is like the people you know.
Yeah I should. It's just baffling to me how some people can move on from being close to someone so easily if the relationship was good.
>Some people you never really know until the end.
Yeah I guess so, a pretty shocking revelation.
I'm 25 but I've only had a few relationships cause my first one lasted a long time.
Nice I'm only 23 but I've been in my share of bad relationships and I think the best thing is to just leave the them be. If they want to be an ass there not worth the time to even stay in contact with.
Yeah I know but the issues is that I'm not sure if he's being an ass to make it easier for us or because he doesn't give a shit about me anymore. He has a lot of stress in his life right now so I can't be sure. I mean I still care about him and would like to hear how he's doing from time to time.
Because we don't really have a future together. I thought I could do anything for it but in reality I would have to give up absolutely everything to be with him and we both know I'd smother him asking him to replace it all with obsessive love and care. Or maybe he was tired of me, or maybe there was someone else. No way to know since he won't discuss it in a way that makes complete sense.
Well don't know you,but I'm going through probably the worst time in my life right now. I know the last person I want to hear from is one of my exs. I couldn't say for sure cause idk every detail. It's really up to you what you want. I'm sure deep down you have your mind made up on what that is. listening to some stranger on 4chan won't change what you want
Well you sound like a much nicer girl than the ones I have dated so it's really hard for me to make the best suggestion for you. You really just have to make this decision yourself. someone you will never ever see or meet irl can tell you that. I think you should not be so worried about this.
He's just emotionally distant but it's not like he has blocked me out.
Yeah I know, I was just trying to get a male perspective. I would be happy if someone cared about me enough to ask if everything is okay etc. Maybe men don't feel the same. Maybe I'm just stupid to care and worry about someone who doesn't feel the same. Anyway I will probably wait for a month or so before contacting him.
Look, the reason it's a shit idea to be friends with your ex is because it kind of fucks with your emotional future. If there are absolutely ZERO FEELS between you, than it can work. But the very nature of an ex, is it's someone you had feels for, so it's very likely that one or both of you still have lingering feels, no matter how incompatible you may be in the long term.
Once one of you starts dating again it will be weird, and there might be jealousy or whatever, it just fucks your shit up. Stop doing this.
It sounds like you're having a hard time moving on. Just know that it isn't your fault that your future doesn't lie with him. These things happen to everyone. People who are big in our lives one day are hard to recall the next.
Let him contact you. If he doesn't, that's life.
>People who are big in our lives one day are hard to recall the next.
I don't have that experience though. I'm still friends with the people I was friends with in kindergarten. I'll see how I feel in a month.