Hi adv im 18yo male and I year ago I stopped feeling any sexual pleasure. Im a virgin but I got blowjobs and handjobs a lot. Before I really like it but now I just dont feel it until orgasm. Also, a lot of times i cant get it fully up and im oversensitive. I used to masturbate a lot and I think thats what caused all this so Im stopping it right now. Id like to hear your stories and what can I expect from now on.
hey, i stopped masturbation a week ago and i'm planning to completely stop it. Heard a lot of good things about stopping masturbation and finally decided to try it. So far it's pretty good.
The first days were hard (duh) but now i already don't feel muchthat need to masturbate.
Also i already feel like i have more energy, i'm less lazy, and less introvert, i'm more talkative, more sociable, and more positive. And it's just been a week.
Some people say after a few weeks it makes you more attractive, i don't expect to become a girl magnet but it's probably true in a hormonal sense.
So you should give it a try !
I'm actually making a big article about why No-fap is shit.
The gist is that you don't feel pleasure because you're not aware of your dick during no or low stimulation.
Like the saying goes, you need the "bad" in order to appreciate the "good". In the case of sex and genitals, "bad" is pretty much non-existent: the only thing your body cares about is stimulation, and bad stimulation (like pain) is still stimulation. The only way to simulate a low point is with low stimulation or none at all.
You might be saying to yourself, "But isn't that exactly what NoFap is?"
Not quite. One of the key things about not masturbating and going pornfree is that 99% of the time, you're still not paying much attention to your dick. So, whenever you go back to those things (or try to have sex), you'll likely get the same problems. It's like learning how to ride a bike, but in a negative way: once your body is used to this central bad thing, you can't just wait for time to "reset" things.
In a word, you have to actually recalibrate your dick, not "reboot" it.
Recalibration is easy: just go back to the awareness and interest you had in your genitals when you first became aware of them. Play with them; be aware of them more often than you're unaware of them. Use soft touch; be aware of every sensation on them.
What's awesome is that, compared to no-fap, this takes no time at all. I recalibrated my mind-dick relationship in like 2 weeks.
It should also be noted that masturbation is fine and porn, to a lesser degree, is also fine. As long as you're still paying attention to your dick, they do no harm.
All of this is true, by the way, for women, too. It can help improve the intensity and frequency of orgasms.
Out of thin air, mostly. I had done no-fap in various forms for about 2-3 years, mostly to no "success".
I then began to question some of the basic assumptions (which most edgy people already do, without fully understanding why it's important to question said assumptions).
For example, is masturbation actually bad? Is porn actually bad?
Any medical doctor will tell you that masturbation is fine. Yet, some people on the internet will tell you otherwise. While I'm not discrediting the internet's wisdom, it made me lean towards thinking that masturbation is, inherently, a harmless thing.
Porn is roughly the same thing. IMO, a thing to note is that there are men who consume porn in "dangerous" ways (multiple tabs, edging, etc.) yet can still perform during actual sex. If that's possible, then maybe porn is also inherently harmless, too. (consider as well the millions/billions of men and women who've consumed porn at various levels yet have all been able to reproduce)
If porn and masturbation aren't the problem per se, then what is? This made me realize that PMO is mostly thought of as a physical problem: watching porn, masturbating, and orgasming causes the "physical" sensitivity of the penis to decrease.
But wait. That's bullshit.
Physical sensitivity is like rubber: it recovers INSANELY fast (i.e. hours, days, or weeks at the latest; not weeks, months, years). Even if you account for circumcision, if you have enough foreskin to orgasm in the first place, you'll very quickly be able to do so again.
At least in my experience, it's not physical. So it must be psychological/mental. How do you fix a problem like that? No-Fap thinks that abstaining works: I disagree.
Most no-fap guides think of fapping as an addiction: you're addicted to PMO; thus, you need to wean yourself off of it; that'll make sex and life enjoyable again.
But, again, that's a bullshit comparison.
Thinking of PMO as an addictive drug muddies the fact that we WANT to a version of "porn" (i.e. the person in front of us), a version of "masturbation" (the sensation of our genitals and the physical movements required to increase stimulation), and the actual version of orgasm to work.
In other words, it makes as little sense as saying, "Heroin is an addiction; you need to wean yourself off of it so you can take morphine."
It's better to think of PMO and sexual stimulation in the realm of nutrition. Porn and masturbation are like butter and eggs: they're tasty and not necessarily bad for you if you monitor your intake and your body. If you overindulge, it's easy to blame those things, but the actual problem is you not paying attention to what's happening in your body. If you "diet well" and start feeling healthy, you'll have a great range of what you're able to do. You'll be able to run a marathon (the physical build-up to sex) and enjoy a delicious vegan enchilada (the orgasmic side to sex) without much problems.
That's the central idea of "paying attention to your dick".
As far as I can tell, normal people already do this to some degree, so they don't need to change anything. It's weirdos like us that need to change: this, in my honest opinion, is the best framework to do so.
Anon, keep fucking talking.
Seriously, I've never had a pleasurable fap in my life and you seem to have some insight. I also agree that nofap and noporn are bullshit, and even the fact that you use the term 'PMO' shows that you're well read.
You're pretty solid with this. I've told guys who have problems with girls and jerking it that their best bet is to limit masturbating to only a couple times a week, give or take (they were at a couple times a day) and to stop watching kinky porn. Limit porn overall, and if you need it, only watch pretty vanilla stuff. And also keep in mind that they're paid actors, and 99% of all orgasms in porn are fake.