How do I get my self-esteem back up after being betrayed and

eh... what happened? some guy didn't like you back?

>>16664734
He supposedly did for 10 months and then broke up just like that. Looking back the whole thing was a ridiculous lie and he just used my good nature to have some fun.

>>16664746
>he just used my good nature to have some fun.
and you liked it, so fuck off. I dont see what can /adv/ do here for you

>>16664779
I'm asking for people's experiences on how they picked themselves up after being a fucking retard.

>>16664717
>How do I get my self-esteem back up after being betrayed and rejected by a complete asshole?

drink and curse their gender for a couple of weeks then find someone else to boink

File: 1006263[1].jpg (23KB, 515x385px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 515x385px

Date this guy, he will love you

>>16664788
>I'm asking for people's experiences on how they picked themselves up after being a fucking retard.
pretty sure you can find many advises for this just with a google search, you are looking for validation, so here you go: you go girl, you are better than him, forget about him your are a strong independent women. Calm and take it easy bla bla bla.

>>16664813
You could say that about most threads here. I don't want any validation. I don't think I'm prefect, I don't think I'm better, on the contrary. I was just curious to see of people here who have a similar background (i.e. lots of social anxiety, loners, self-esteem issues) have any experience or advice.

>>16664779
Uh WE can do a lot, don't go grouping us with you, you fucking 5/10, smegma drenched reject.

And OP, you just give it time, and realize that the only person who lost out on something here is him. You'll go on to better things, and he'll keep chasing vapor, playing at his game. People like that aren't really capable of real happiness, just instant gratification.

you learn lessons and tell yourself you did. you're a better person now, so who cares if you made a mistake. i wasted 4 years and an engagement to be betrayed. i'm still depressed but have grown from the experience and wouldn't trade it. it took a lot to get me to realize actions speak and words are cheap. my ex said they care so much more than they ever acted on it.

>>16665116
At the back of my head I'm afraid I just wasn't good enough for some reason and he'll be much happier with someone else, thinking back on me as being worthless, if at all. I was great to him but still. Not much to do about it, I just hope I will get over this low feeling soon.

>>16665132
That's what I thrive on, telling myself it was for a reason and I won't be fooled next time. Really sorry to hear about what happened to you. I hope you'll get over the depression soon too.

The most important thing you need to do is not to take this personally. People change and they are not perfect, neither him nor you. His judgement carried an error as well. He judged that it was the best if he lived the life the way he lives it, and left you. The most you can do is do your best to recognize what he was right or wrong about, and change yourself accordingly. He may think of you as worthless, but that judgement is only based on a tiny fraction of your personality at the time you were together that he saw and actually cared for to pay attention to, so don't take it seriously. Time passes people change.

>>16664717

Guys that have money, looks, and personality are only going to want you for sex- you need to find someone that can't get easy access to free sex, because they will have an air of desperation, and be eager to date, get married, etc

If someone can get free milk every day, why would they buy a cow? Find someone that can't get free milk.

They won't fuck you as good or be interesting, but they will be reliable

>>16665192
That is really mature, thank you.

>>16665196
He wasn't all that and I don't sleep around.

>>16665220

He might not've been all that anon, but he still might be you know, better than 90% of guys out there. Those guys will never give you commitment.

Men, in 2016, are so pathetic, live paycheck to paycheck, up to their eyeballs in debt, 30 year olds making 12 bucks an hour, people with skinny fat or skeleton mode bodies...

You get the drift. So if a man seems 'ok' he is in reality, the best top 10% of men you will find- and these men WONT offer you commitment- they'll just make you fall in love with them and then move on to the next whore

>>16665224
He really wasn't anything special, it's just that he presented himself as a good and honest person and that's what I was attracted to. I don't really mind the "bad" qualities you described as long as the person is trying to get somewhere better and is a good person. I was just naive. He was the person I men when I decided to open up and try and I got fooled.

>>16665244

people that present themselves as good people are usually sociopaths- good people just live their life in an honest and fair way, they don't go around talking about how they believe in doing the right thing

watch what people do not what they say

Also 'good' people are very, very, very strict about who they associate with.

>>16665220
Just keep in mind what I wrote if you get bad feelings or take his rejection too personally, live your life and grow as a person. Build your life, and focus on your own happiness.
Actually there is good evidence why this is important:
http://medicalxpress.com/news/2016-01-people-difficulty-recovering-romantic-breakups.html

>>16665247
He wasn't really being that pushy with it, I was just inexperienced and saw what I wanted to see. And I think of myself as a pretty decent person so I assumed I would attract a decent person. Maybe he isn't a bad person really, just handled it really terribly.

Stop comparing yourself to externals be you. That's all you can be anyway.

>>16665253
I will. I know this is a good thing in the long run but the short term pain is really bad. Looks like a really interesting article so thanks for that too.

>>16665258
You assumed you are a decent person and assumed you would attract a decent person.

I thought this, too once. Now I know that bad people are attracted to decent people, because they get off on hurting them. Bad people tend to not get too excited by other bad people, because they don't get hurt.

>>16665477
Bad people are rare. There's just selfish people who don't care who they hurt as long as they get what they want.

>>16664717

>be the asshole
>get dumped
>twist things around to make guy look bad
>woman is actually the sociopath

Listen to the advice the nice anons here gave you. You've been here and the gioyc threads about your ex.

>>16665247

>OP is such a 'good person' that got taken advantage of by an 'asshole"
>she got rejected

OP - is the sociopath

>>16665634
wait what?

>>16665634

Might be the case here. Woman are excellent liars.

>>16664717

"But, if you’re dating a girl whose insecurities begin to impose on your own happiness, well-being, and relationships with others, appeasement will gain you temporary reprieve, and not much more.

That’s because Tests of Insecurity are all about sucking you in – her insecurities create a negative emotional vortex, of sorts, that can only be filled by you. Or the next man who’ll tell her what she wants to hear.

female_psychology_1

And that’s the most damaging thing about insecurities, and specifically, about failing this test. A woman with low self-esteem will always be looking for the next thing to make her feel better about herself. Maybe a gift, maybe a trip, maybe the attention of another man.

You know when you’re being given one of these tests, because you feel an unmistakable combination of pity and frustration towards her. You feel like she’s sucking you in. And the only way to pass this test is to gently but unfailingly refuse to let it consume you.

You have to set your boundaries. If you really love her, the line is a big fat one, and you let her cross it a few times. Maybe you take the long view, and “work on it” with her – depends on how much drama you like in your life. But make no mistake: the only way that your girl is going to stop giving you tests of insecurity is through her own growth."

>>16664717
Kitty Kat

Interesting how /adv/ is more sympathetic to a woman getting rejected than a man

>>16664832
His interest waned and your's didn't. Get over it.

>>16666158
She's asking how to get over it.

>>16666150

>this one time /adv/ didn't pat me on the ass and now i'm taking it personally

>>16666162
She is trying to rationalize it with bullshit /adv when she know exactly what she should do. Move on. The very fact that this thread exists is proof she is not.
Look anon you are looking towards others for happiness and validation. This Validation leads to depression. Depression leads to loathing and loathing leads to suffering. Look to yourself for validation and gratification and if you can't see it; complete activities that interest you and it will come. It will be a hard day, but it will be worth it. This thread is the easy way out and it will wane far too quickly and you will spiral down again.

fake it until you make it

>>16666213
I know I should move on, I was just looking for tips from people who may be similar. I'm pretty happy on my own but I feel like I don't want to spend my life my myself. This experience made me feel like I will never be enough for anyone and this will keep happening when I try. I know that's probably not the case and I'm just too sensitive but this is how it feels. But I guess I got my answer. You fake it until you make it and just go forward.

>>16666127

Nope not this one. This one is psychotic and delusional.

If you have a mental illness go to a psychiatrist because no man (including me) wants you. Glad I got a sane girlfriend.

>>16667656
How am I psychotic exactly?

>>16665266
The pain is bad because you feel yourself used, betrayed, and weak. This is always a horrible feeling and I feel for you. Life goes on however, and you will feel better. He didn't do anything to you that could screw up your life permanently, so at this point it's only your decision if you want to remind yourself of him and your weakness, or learn from it and change. In the short term, do something that helps keeping your mind off of him, go out, chat with gfs, do something where you need to interact with people a lot, so you can keep yourself busy while letting others steer your thoughts a bit. In the long term, just focus on your happiness, don't take his rejection personally, and grow as a person. I'm sure you'll get over it and regain your confidence.

>>16667687
You sound like the sociopathic whiny bitch who got dumped for being obnoxious.

>>16667726
That's the plan, thank you.

>>16667912
I don't think I've said enough for you to make that judgement but fair enough. I don't think you know what sociopathic means though.

>>16665652

This. Wonder why op made another thread about men bejng predators.

>>16668025
I really wonder what I said to make people think I hate men. If anything I've admitted it's my personal issue.

>>16667665
Sorry bitch but I've fucked my new man a block from your house five times already.

>>16668040
Did you make that other thread?

>>16668048
Obviously not.

>>16665522
"Bad" = selfish people who don't care who they hurt as long as they get what they want.

That is the definition of bad and also sociopaths.

>>16668063
I thought I'm the sociopath lol. Anyway, using words like "bad" to describe people just oversimplifies things. Selfish people may not so it out of malice.

>>16668063

Which is OP in a nutshell.

"Bad" = someone who laughs at someone they hurt.

"Bad" = someone who deliberately hurts someone else

"Bad" = someone who thinks women who have sex are cumsluts who deserve to be pumped and dumped

4chan is a place where men can twist this around and get confirmation that being "bad" to someone is justified because women are not human so they deserve to be hurt.

>>16668072
Why are you projecting some past experience of yours onto a stranger?

Women are the definition of what sociopaths are. Excellent liars and manipulators.

>>16668063

OP the sociopath is in denial.

>>16664788
grow up, don't generalize, look for better people to be around, and move on.

>>16668071
Oooh someone's clocking this thread pretty hard.

"When someone says you hurt them you don't get to decide that you didn't" - Louis C.K.

You know you're a bitch so you come on here seeking confirmation that the person you hurt is the real bitch. 4chan is not the world. In fact, most people think everyone who comes here is a complete asshole.

>>16665652

This.

>>16668091
When did I generalize?

>>16668094
I didn't hurt anyone, he's fine.

>>16668083
"All women are sociopathic cumsluts who deserve to get hurt." = something a beta manlet likes to think.

4chan is not reality, but it will become your reality if you let it.

And so you will just become a fapping faggot.

>>16668080
Why are you projecting on this thread so hard you have to write in?

>>16668091
19 year old faggot says "Grow up."

>>16668109
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

>>16668044
Glad I got a sane girlfriend who lets me go on 4chan to fap and write letters on a thread that makes me feel bad about something I did.

Glad I got a sane girlfriend who is so boring that I have to write letters on 4chan instead of talking to her.

My mom rejected me so I go around hurting women because they represent my mommy who didn't give me enough love. My mommy just let me sit in front of my computer looking at porn all day instead of spending time with me.

I just want my mommy to love me. Mommy why didn't you love me? Why didn't you hold me and talk to me when I needed you?

My mommy threw me out on the streets so I go around fucking women and then dumping them because I want them to be the mother who rejected me but I know they can't be. All women are bitches and whores.

>>16668083

This is true, OP just keeps responding because she knows it. Women will rather stir up a commotion than face that they are sociopaths. She'll used attacks thay has nothing to do with anyone personally but is just her projecting her own fears of abandonment and lack of worth.

OP says she is disposable well at least admit it. But she just wants to be right as long as her emotions feel better.

>>16668137
>>16668142
>>16668209
what are you on bro?