So my gf did the dumbest thing ever and idk what to do with her
>Gf is a model
>Frequently meets photographers on Instagram
>Decides she's going to do her first lingerie shoot
>Says she's having her female friend come to put me at ease
>On her way there she finds out that it's totally not professional and it's just at the guy's apartment with only him
>She's sketched out but goes anyway
>For the next 9 hours I get texts saying that they're still shooting (Shoots usually take like 3 hours)
>I know something's up
>10 hours after she got there I get a call from her crying saying that she's extremely drunk and needs me to come get her
>Find out there was no friend, she said that so I wouldn't worry
>She's been hanging with this photographer all day drinking
>She's hardly even coherent. I tell her I'm coming to get her but I'm dumping her immediately if I find out she did anything with him
>When I get there I meet the photographer, who is a fat slob. So I rule out her cheating
>It takes an hour to bring her to, during which I just roast the photographer who was clearly hoping she'd get drunk enough to sleep with him
>I bring her home and she spends the next 24 hours crying about how much she screwed up
I don't know what she was thinking. I know she didn't eat for 24 hours to prepare for the shoot, so she got way drunker than expected and she'll blame the lying on being drunk. It seems like she learned her lesson and is really greatful that I didn't dump her.
My biggest problem is that her actions were fucking retarded. She knows I'd be extremely pissed if she was hanging out with a lingerie photographer, no matter how unattractive, but she did it anyway. She got drunker than I have ever seen her in 2 years with a guy that she met that day. This could have gone horrifically wrong if she didn't call me before she passed out. God knows what could have happened.
I don't know what to do with her. I feel like I can't trust her or her decisions
>does lingerie modeling
>has to have unhealthy eating habits for her job
>lied to you
>goes into a strange man's house
>goes into a strange man's house to model in her underwear
>accepts drinks from him
>gets blackout drunk
>gets blackout drunk around a strange man
I can't even list everything wrong with this. She sounds like she would make a very bad partner. I wouldn't be with someone like that.
Don't think she didn't fuck the guy just because he's fat/unattractive. She got drunk with him, probably at his direction, she got at least partially nude, at his direction. Women like feeling that a guy is in charge.
So chances are pretty good that she fucked him too. Why do you think she was crying?
Regardless, she deliberately lied to you and you have confirmation that she has shitty judgment. No point in getting mad about this, most women are like this. If it's no something you're willing to let go, move on.
I would probably downgrade her from serious girlfriend to girl-I-have-sex-with and don't be upset about whatever stupid shit she does. If you're not into casual sex or you can't keep your feelings ("love", jealousy, whatever else) out of it, you're better off moving on.
>I don't know what to do with her.
Ditch her, but next time keep her in line.
>I feel like I can't trust her or her decisions
Your feeling is correct.
Listen, you know she'd flip her shit if the situation were reversed. What you need to do, if you want to keep her, then you should withdraw a bit. Don't bother talking about how it made you feel, you'll only be wasting your breath.
Instead, tell her that you are pretty disappointed, and she could have called you at any time, and cool things off a little.
You want to encourage good behavior, by giving her more attention and affection, and discourage bad behavior by making your irritation clear and withdrawing.
I wouldn't even walk on the same side of the street as this disaster of a human being. How could you possibly be so unclear on this situation as to even need to recount it to others? Are you also retarded?
I really don't think she fucked him. She's superficial as hell. She thinks fat people are disgusting. I don't think her window of being that drunk was even enough to get it done. The way she drank, she went from tipsy to throwing up and passing out almost immediately.
The crying isn't a mystery. She knew she was in huge trouble and that I would absolutely lost my shit, which I did.
I'm not trying to make excuses for her. I went there assuming she fucked him and preparing to knock him the fuck out and break up with her, but when I got there, the scene didn't seem to suggest that that happened. I went through the guy's whole studio apartment while he was standing there and didn't find anything suspicious. Unless he cleaned it immaculately in the 15 minutes it took me to get there.
I agree. Had a gf not too long ago who lied to me about hangin out with some dude, she got drunk since she was like super skinny and short, she ended up blowing the guy over a lost bet and she still kept hanging out wth him lying to me saying she wasnt gona do it again. I say if she messes up again dont hesitate, leave her ass.
I know this site is obsessed with cuckolding, but that's not even my concern. If she had cheated on me there's no way she would have called me for help and had me come to the faggot's apartment. I imagine she would have stayed the night and told me she was at her friend's house.
Okay so here's the thing op
Your girl is dumb as bricks. She's dumb, she probably has low self esteem in spite of her looks, she definitely has no spine or confidence. I know models who would laugh and dip out the moment they realized how sketchy the situation was so it has nothing to do with her being a model, and everything to do with her being an airhead
The question for you is how much does it matter? She -did- lie, and she is incredibly vulnerable. I'm not saying she's inherently a bad person, but she has a LOT of growing up to do and you need to ask yourself if you're prepared to stay with her even if she never does.
There's nothing you can do for her precisely - whether she grows up, grows a spine and gets some better judgement is entirely up to her. The only thing you can ask yourself is whether you're prepared to continue to put up with it, because the most likely scenario is that it won't change. You can't change her. You can't teach her or mold her.
Tell her to get a real job, and some ambition.
And don't tell me showing off her titties for a camera counts as ambition or a dream job.
Fucking hell, people are too afraid to live and to afraid to die. So, they get drunk, and the only thing that matters is not facing real life to people.
Real life takes hard work and dedication, and it's much more rewarding than a bottle of booze on payday.
I agree she seems stupid and vulnerable. If you don't want to deal with that, dump her. I also believe she's not a bad person at all. She may have felt that you didn't understand her the way she would like you to, so probably talked to that random guy about her problems but he didn't listen, hence her calling you. Sometimes people just need to know they're doing alright.
Point One: Your gf is retarded.
She went to an apartment. She lied about taking safety measures to make sure that she was okay. She then proceeded to not take those safety measures. She continued to lie to you after the fact about what was happening. She willingly consumed alcohol that she was being fed by this person in his apartment for a "photoshoot" while continuing to lie to you about it.
Point Two: Ten hours and you think she didn't fuck him?
She fucked him you dumbass. He probably fed her a casting couch line, and being retarded and drunk she ate it up. He likely has pictures of her wearing less than simply lingerie. Ask her. Ask her if she did anything fully nude. She'll freak out, I guarantee it.
Point Three: The dark hour
She texts you at hour ten telling you to come get her after she goes dark for an hour. You assume that nothing happened because she was basically blackout drunk. If she didn't fuck him during the photoshoot, he almost certainly took advantage of her while she was drunk.
Point Four: Blackmail imminent.
This guy has nudes of your gf, and probably pics/vids of her doing sexually explicit things. This doesn't end here, because she wants a modeling career and having porn of her leak at this point would destroy her. She knows this. He knows this. You might consider contacting the police pre-emptively at this point.
Point Five: Your gf is not mature enough to be a functional adult, much less part of a relationship.
She behaved in a way that was recklessly irresponsible. She threw safety measures to the wind. She lied like crazy. She did even more foolish shit than that by choosing to consume alcohol in this situation. I mean who the fuck doesn't get sketched out over all of this? She's either retarded or so immature as to be not a functional adult.
Confront her when she sobers up about everything. Be prepared to pick at her lies until the truth comes out. Realize that you haven't seen the end of this.
You want a model or celebrity gf you have to deal with the stupid. I'm a guy but for about a year I did some really dumb stuff, I would believe anything on the internet to try and move up. Everything was a fake, scam, or setup to rob me but I kept doing it hoping something real would happen. Your girl did lie to you, she wanted to do something in her career on her own, she got there and kept with the story until she finally realized it's out of control and asked for your help. I don't think you should break up with her but that's me.
Better be asking for those pictures OP, and cross fingers she isn't getting a fat slob's dick in her mouth on one of them.
Seriously though let the situation cool a bit and give her another chance to tell the whole story. Then decide trust or dump.
I would actually say this is forgivable, but the fact that she lied saying she was bringing a friend along is a huge red flag. She is the type of person who will lie to avoid even the slightest confrontation. Ditch her mayne. She's dishonest as hell, and chances are good that she at least slurped him and he definitely touched her. I'm surprised you didn't beat his fatass.
She gave me the whole story according to her
>Her friend was supposed to come for security
>She felt safe when she got there and told her not to come
>Apparently because she was self conscious about being in lingerie in front of her friend
>They finished shooting at 3
>Went to lunch
>They got back at 5 and went back to the apartment to look at the pictures
>Started drinking after that
>His roommate came home at 7 and joined them
>By 8:30 she was really drunk and felt like she was going to pass out
>She then called me to come get her before things got worse
>All of those specific times ie not at 3:17 etc, neat little blocks of time
>All of those lies on lies
>Two hours for lunch at 3PM
>Drinking with multiple men for almost four hours just because
Swiss cheese story.
Also, I threatened the guy and told him to tell me exactly what they did that day while she was blacked out. Her story was the same the next day, so unless they coordinated in the time she was asleep...
>Oh, you know, we did the shoot got some lunch, came back to see the pictures, then chilled
What a hard story to match. It's just those little details and the almost four hours of omitted shit that they're both leaving out that I'd be worried about if I were you.
Lol at this whole thing. If your girl was a legit model, she would have an agent. If photographer was a legit guy, he would contact the agency.
There would be lighting, hair, makeup, and wardrobe people.
She would get a call sheet before any of this.
You need to just pimp your girl out for $$$. She's used to the idea of selling her body anyway. Stop trying to be the good guy in this, you are all gonna get hurt if you don't step up.
If I were you I would dump her ass at that moment. Because you say she was a model, how successful is she in the business. Post pic and blackout face and stuff
>fucks another man
>calls her beta boy to go pick her up
>friend was supposed to come for security
>her friend should have come with her if this was the case
>called friend to tell her not to come
You believe that? You mean she was going to leave herself alone with this guy until the friend got there if she felt unsafe?
>If she had cheated on me there's no way she would have called me for help
lol that's the first thing cheaters do. They do something uncharacteristic that has you saying, "Well if they cheated she wouldn't have..."
My ex told me she spent a full night at this guy's house the next day, I was pissed but then in my mind I thought, "Well she trusts me she wouldn't have told me that"...Well guess what? She did sleep with him and I found this out months later.
I agree with most posts here, but will play devils advocate.
Maybe she didn't want you to worry because she thought it was gonna be some innocent photo shoot by someone gay guy, what if she didn't get drunk but was slipped a date rape drug and called you for help when she noticed something was wrong with her drink? Op of course you have the right to be mad but try to forgive and forget
So we know for sure she deliberately deceived you.
And even giving her the benefit of the doubt on sexual cheating, such as it is, she still made numerous decisions that weren't just stupid, they were incomprehensible.
You're right not to trust her. Everyone makes mistakes, but this is beyond anything. Seriously, can you trust her in the future?
If this is an isolated incident and she's never done anything remotely like this in the two years you've been with her... Jesus, maaaaaaaybe give her another chance but she's got a lot to work on to regain your trust and not let this happen again. Yeah, she's fucking DONE drinking, period. She's fucking DONE meeting "Instagram photographers."
But damn, man, probably it's best to dump her now.
I enjoy devil's advocacy too, but no.
>Maybe she didn't want you to worry because she thought it was gonna be some innocent photo shoot by someone gay guy
And what reasoning would lead her to believe this highly specific and unlikely scenario?
>what if she didn't get drunk but was slipped a date rape drug and called you for help when she noticed something was wrong with her drink?
She stayed conscious over 10 hours, either the guy got cheated by his dealer or the only "date rape drug" involved here was mass quantities of alcohol. And why the fuck is she accepting drinks in some stranger's apartment with just the two of them? Seriously, TEN FUCKING HOURS, think about that.
God, I admit this board can get pretty loopy with the "she's DEFINITELY cheating" and ">cuck cuck cuck" shit, but man. Even if I knew literally for certain my girlfriend hadn't cheated, I think I'd break up with her on principle for acting so suspiciously. You don't do that shit if you give a fuck about your partner's feelings and emotional stability.
>She's sketched out but goes anyway
>>When I get there I meet the photographer, who is a fat slob. So I rule out her cheating
Why do you rule out cheating? You think girls never sleep with fat slobs, especially when they're drunk?
>For the next 9 hours I get texts saying that they're still shooting
OP. What could she have possibly been doing for the 9 hours that she was alone with him, getting drunk, and lying to you?
>she spends the next 24 hours crying about how much she screwed up
How did she screw up? According to her, all they did was talk and drink all day.
Seriously, did you ask her what the play-by-play was for those 9 hours?
This is just fucking bizarre. I can't imagine going to a sketchy lingerie shoot alone, lying about being alone, and getting drunk while there. Does she have a fucking death wish? Why the hell wouldn't she bring a friend? Even if she was hoping to fuck the guy, why not bring a friend to be safe and just say "yeah this is happening, go amuse yourself for a few hours then pick me up"?
Especially weird that she was there for such a suspicious length of time, with someone unattractive, and then called you for help rather than just lying more.
There's something off about this girl, OP. She's either absurdly naive or really self destructive.
The only thing I can think of is maybe your relationship isn't that great, if she knew you'd be pissed at her for simply hanging out with a lingerie photographer alone even if nothing happened. Maybe going there alone despite the safety risk was just some emotional acting out, both of you far too focused on the risk of a trust violation than the much more basic risk to safety.
>Women like feeling that a guy is in charge.
women, when inebriated, have to go along with the desires of large aggressive men to avoid physical violence and extortion.
jesus, i'm not saying her behavior was ok but its unbelievable how wrong men read the situations women find themselves in. i'm sure she was turned on and that's why she was crying
But it won't give her any self-respect, and definitely won't give her the respect of anyone else.
>hurr if you could suck off guys in Central Park for hundreds of dollars who WOULDN'T do it?
>>hurr if you could suck off guys in Central Park for hundreds of dollars who WOULDN'T do it?
lmao look at that strawman
>instagram modeling = sucking dick in a park somewhere
>definitely won't give her the respect of anyone else.
>-I- don't respect her so no one will!
you're so upset that she'll be making more than you in a fraction of the time that you have to compare modeling to sucking cock. how sad