Ok, so this is a really awkward situation, but I'll try to describe it as best as I can.
My sister is a lesbian. Her wife is my ex girlfriend. Not really much story there. We didn't work out, she realized she liked women more than men, her and my sister make a really great couple, so it's cool. They want to have a child, and we've been talking about artificial insemination with my sperm and my sister's wife's egg. Everybody's cool with that.
Now the situation that I'm in is that my sister and her wife just recently had a talk with me. They've been throwing around the idea to just basically cut the middleman out of the picture all together. Basically they feel that we could save time and money by impregnating her the old fashioned way. They say they are both cool with it since we've already had sex before, so it wouldn't be a problem for either of them if we tried until she was pregnant. We would also just tell our parents that we did an artificial insemination.
I've really been kicking this around in my head. On the one hand, artificial insemination seems less strange, but on the other hand they have a point, and it would actually be the same end result either way. To top it all off, I thought my wife would say no, but she, while a little uneasy with it, actually didn't reject it. She knows my ex and I don't have any actual feelings for each other and that my ex is very devoted to my sister.
So I guess what I'm really looking for is an outside opinion on this situation. How does it look from a different perspective?
This will haunt your wife for years. She won't say anything for a long time, but it will come in every argument years down the road.
Not only that, but how much do you trust your ex? At any time, she will be able to come after you for child support payments (that's with sex or insemination), your sister will have no legal say in the matter.
I'd advise you decline OP, the fact that you're here means you aren't all together comfortable with this arrangement, and that's all the reason you need.
>How does it look from a different perspective?
So my first reaction was a knee-jerk "ho lee fuk is dis nigger srs". After giving it some thought though, it might not be that bad. For your sister and her wife having you as the donor will be really good - in terms of genetics, that's as close as they'll ever get to having a child that really is "theirs". The artificial insemination vs manual delivery thing doesn't seem that unreasonable either, especially as you two have slept together previously.
My first major concern is your wife. She says she's ok with it now, but she might not feel the same when she's sat at home watching tv and you're hanging out the back of your ex girlfriend. Once the deed is done you can'tt put the genie back in the lamp, and I can imagine that having serious consequences for your relationship further down the road. Also, you're going to have a child who doesn't live with you or even know you're her father, and that's going to take its toll on your emotions too. On that note you need to have a bulletproof plan for when your sisters wife leaves her, takes the kid then hits you up for child support because you're the biological father.
Ha, I don't think that's one of the options unfortunately.
I do trust her, we've known each other for a long time. Even if we don't go with the actual sex option, we are going with the artificial insemination. I didn't actually realize that about the child support though.
My wife is the kind of person who would straight up tell me of she had a problem with it, but you do have a point.
Great advice, thank you.
There is no bullet-proof plan against child support here. If he has a child with her that isn't through legal artificial insemination done by a licensed professional, he is legally responsible for the child, no matter what.
Also, pregnancy usually doesn't happen after the first try. He will probably need to have regular sex with her for months or more. This will probably destroy his relationship with everyone involved.
My concern is my wife too. Honestly if I was just single, i'd probably go for it. They plan on being honest with the child and telling them that their uncle is their father and the reasoning behind it, but that's a long way off.
And honestly I do trust my ex, but you guys make a really good point in that. I'll have to look into that a little deeper.
You guys are being much more helpful than I expected, thank you!
in what country do ou live OP? here in germany, if your sister adopts the child from you, There is no basis for child support.
You can also artifically inseminate, all you need is a 10ml syringe without needle and something to close the front (maybe ask the next doctor you see?)
Here is how you maximise the chance for pregnancy:
You: No wanking/sex for 3+ Days beforehand
Get your dick hard for at least 10-15minutes before you cum
cum in the syringe
If possible orgasm before you insert the cum
with the cum in her pussy lay on her back with knees on her chest to keep the sperm in for like half an hour.
Dont let the cum cool down, so keep it close to the body at all times. And inject it in a timely fashion, so no longer than a few hours
You are still legally responsible for the child even if you do "home artificial insemination".
The only way to not be is to go through a professional. Don't be like this guy.
>The couple say they performed artificial insemination at home, court documents show
>Marotta says he signed an agreement to waive his parental rights
>But a Kansas agency says the agreement isn't valid because a doctor wasn't involved
Your sister or ex must have no links in the LGBT community or haven't done their homework, what they are suggesting is a bit weird to just have sex, that's just going to bring up old shit and definitely affect both you and your wife down the line.. A lot of lesbian couples conceive with a guys semen donation in a sterile container and thin syringe to inject the semen during the time of ovulation.
if the Semen gets up to her cervix its the same as sex pretty much.
If she is fertile then you don't have to go through IVF, that's only if your infertile and having issue conceiving and the the guy otherwise has low sperm motility or the woman is infertile etc and has issues where the sperm cant get to the ovum and fertilise the egg to become an embryo. etc.
Just jizz in a cup and use the turkey baster method, if your seriously wanting to give your sister a kid
You can have a preemptive contract signed where you both agree to void your father status before conception. She can never claim child support and you can never get custody. Dont put your dick in her. Bust a nut for her let her put that seed in herself. Ur wife will appreciate it and shell be blocked on any games shes trying to play. Cuz it looks alot like ur ex is trying yo play some fucked up drama games. If not, she should have no problom not getting the D. dont give her the D. Its a trap.
I realize I have no right to tell you what is morally right and morally wrong, but dude get the fuck out of that situation.
For one, If that ship sinks your fucking going down with it.
Secondly, it's not right to fuck another woman if you are married. It's not right that she is fucking another person if she's married.
Thirdly, you'll be an uncle-father.
Fourthly, no, just no. Make them do that through official channels. Just have a wank instead of going through any trouble at all.
>Your sister or ex must have no links in the LGBT community
I'm not sure why you say that, and I guess I'm not sure how deep into the community they are, but we're not using a turkey baster. That almost seems more strange than their proposal.
Thank you for your concern, but I'm certain they're not playing games. Other than my wife, my sister is the closest person I have and I trust her absolutely. This is just something they suggested, and they aren't trying to pressure me or anything.
Again, thank you all for the input. I appreciate it.
But you are playing games. Do you have the willpower to turn down a free fuck? You seem to be interested in this for the sex part. Be the bigger man and walk away.
Of course like I said I'm no moral authority, but it would be better on everyone's conscious if your sister's married brother didn't fuck her wife.
That's some Hamlet shit right there dog.
Well I'd honestly disagree. There aren't any games being played. There isn't any manipulation or game playing going on with this. And it's not just a free fuck and I'm not just interested in it for the sex. I agreed to be the biological father of their child before this was ever brought up. I mean, the sex part would feel good I'm sure, not going to lie, but it's not the reason I'd be doing it.
It's a strange situation, and I doubt many people have experience in it.
>sister is fine with it
>ex lover is fine with it
>wife is fine with it
Literally everyone else who this would effect is on board with this. If you're sure your wife would be ok with it, I actually don't see the problem. I think the fact that you've had sex with her in the past actually gives it some legitimacy. It's not unknown territory or anything, your penis had literally been there before. Why not a couple more times with your wife's approval? It sounds like there isn't going to be any chance of emotional attachment, so I say go for it.
So one of the main reasons a lot of people are saying not to do it is the fear of her and my sister divorcing and her talking me to court for child support.
You'll have to trust me here, but that is very unlikely to happen. It's so far away from her personality and past actions that I really don't see it happening.
Also my wife is very straight forward. If she had a problem with it, she would immediately tell me. We were both proud and excited about me being the biological father of their child when we just assumed it was going to be via a doctor.
Ok then let me show you the mental gymnastics you are going through in your own words to show that you are manipulating the situation for a fuck.
"We would also just tell our parents that we did an artificial insemination." -anon
You clearly know you are doing something most people would disapprove of, so you feel like you're doing something bad.
"Basically they feel that we could save time and money by impregnating her the old fashioned way." - anon
obviously not true, as others have pointed out.
"n the one hand, artificial insemination seems less strange, but on the other hand they have a point, and it would actually be the same end result either way."
Also, not true because;
" I thought my wife would say no, but she, while a little uneasy with it, actually didn't reject it. "
Note the word UNEASY.
You might want to figure out how uneasy she is about it dog.
I feel like you are cherry picking the situation, and trying to make it sound like everything's in your favor. I think you should take of the rose tinted glasses because it seems like your doing everything in your power to justify this. Whilst, ignoring everything else.
Fuck me if I'm wrong man, but the more I think about it; the more I think you're a wild dude for even considering it.
>You clearly know you are doing something most people would disapprove of, so you feel like you're doing something bad.
I don't think most people are comfortable talking to their patents about their bedroom activities. It's just easier.
>obviously not true, as others have pointed out.
I'm not site how it's not true, or how it's been pointed out. Unless you're talking about the turkey baster idea.
>You might want to figure out how uneasy she is about it dog.
When I say uneasy, I guess what I mean is she didn't jump on board right away like she did with the artificial insemination. It was after she thought about it for a while that she decided to say it was ok.
I honestly don't think I'm cherry picking and I'm trying to be as straight up as possible wroth the details. I'm also not ignoring everything else. You guys have been making some really great points. Other than the turkey baster.
Of course things wouldn't be ok if he wasn't married.
This trap goes beyond marriage.
And everyone in the topic seems to agree the OP is doing mental gymnastics for sex.
OP don't be a uncle-father, this is a horrible idea.
Part of me is hoping this is really good creative writing / role playing.
Someone mentioned Hamlet, but in Hamlet at least they are killing each other. In this topic they are fucking each other. And that's somehow even worse.
This is like a liberal black hole of fuck up.
>And everyone in the topic seems to agree the OP is doing mental gymnastics for sex.
No, not really. A couple anons are saying it's a bad idea, but I'm really not getting the impression that op just wants sex. Why would he even be here if that's the case? I've heard of lesbians using sperm of family members and that's actually a pretty good idea. Then the child is actually related to both of them.
Just don't do it, period. Too much potential bullshit.
Let them have their own kid from some other donor and you can have your own with your own wife; don't split one kid between you, your ex girlfriend and your goddamn sister.
The only way I could see this working in a way that doesn't eat away at your wife, is if your is involved in a threesome. You get to bone two ladies at once, and your wife(hopefully) won't feel cheated on. It could add a little spice to the sex life.
Other important thing you have to keep in mind is that your wife might eventually want a threesome with you and another guy, so if your not ok with that, then tread lightly.
Op's current issue aside, I don't see the problem with him providing the sperm for his sister's kid. I think it's very sweet actually. And like other anons said, it's a good way for the kid to be blood related to both his sister and her wife.
Cause if ya think about it, your wife would feel much more comfortable if she was there when you are doing things and would know what you are doing, therefore no suspicions of lying, and your ex would feel more into it with another women and therefore make her more furtile.
>She knows my ex and I don't have any actual feelings for each other and that my ex is very devoted to my sister.
They would literally be having sex just for procreation.
I think that's why his wife would be ok with it. No chance of feelings, no love, minimal lust, legitimately fucking simply to create a life. Almost clinical. It's possible that it would actually be ok.
> she will be able to come after you for child support payments
This. Enjoy paying half your salary to your ex.
This is some straight up jerry springer bullshit.
Your wife is weirded out about this because she's your wife and I can't imagine what that conversation was like. "Honey, I'm gonna fuck a baby into my ex girlfriend sister in law. Are you cool with that?"
Second, you're not covered against child support, which anyone with half a brain will have realized before talking to you about this. This kid is going to have two moms and a dad supporting it.
If I was your wife, I would fucking divorce you for even considering having sex with your ex-gf. Doesn't matter if she's a lesbian. You are a married man and you should not be having sex with another woman.
Trust me... If your wife is "uneasy" about it, and wasn't nearly on board when it came to the idea of you fucking your ex to get her pregnant, then she is NOT okay with it.
It can take couples up to 1 year to get pregnant, and that is without fertility issues on either side. Do you think your wife would be mentally okay with you having sex with your ex-gf on her ovulation days for UP TO A YEAR?
I would divorce a man so fucking fast his head would spin, even at the thought of doing this. And if you don't think this will eat your wife up inside (ESPECIALLY if you two don't have children yet), then you are so fucking naive that you don't deserve marriage.
>mfw you referencing the retarded doge meme as a comeback on 4chan
Sounds hot as fuck. Just get your wife, and sister in in the action too!
Lol this isn't bad on logical thinking.
Your wife will regret and bring it up.
Your sis and your ex thing was probably the worst set up ever man.
This whole baby thing is asking for drama lol
I say you do it cause some free pussy is worth the marriage and honestly your wife won't leave you cause she just saw that your worth something if your ex is asking you for dick.
Why does blood related mean shit
Its means nothing
You're bringing another person into this world when they already countless suffering that need parents.
Did Op even think for a single second about how bad it would be to just have his genetic kid just run around without trying to take care of him or her.
Basically making a kid adopted for no reason other than for the fuck of it
I wish retards like OP just get sterilized and kill themselves
You are an idiot, assumimg you are Op, you think its ok to just have a kid and just ditch it knowingly.
When you have a kid YOU take care of it personally. Making it cus you want a threesome and dumping it on someone else.
Its called basic fucking moral standards. You take care of your own shit and dont make suffering you fucking neanderthal baboon idiot
Need to make america great sterilizing you fuckups
You're talking out of your ass.
The child would be raised together by the birth mother and the child's aunt. It's their fucking idea. Op would be in its life as well. There is no housing from responsibility. Op is helping the couple have a biologically relayed child like they want.
You have no idea what the fuck you're talking about.
Forget the child support..
Forget your ex and sister will..
That child be your child too..
It's not that easy question..
Okey.. it's really awesome in first way..
But that child must grow up..
You know the two women..
Think about it how strong their relation..
About how can they love..
How can they show example..
If you want maybe you should take care of your child too.. It's okey a women can be strong and confident.. But a child should see how can be a man lately..
When you choose you want a child.. It's the greatest responsibility to bare..
So think wisely to care.
Look up the laws in your area. There are legal precedents for child support in the case of artificial insemination - but those safeguards generally don't apply if you just fuck her, instead of having a doctor being involved as the middleman.
So, if you absolutely trust her not to come after you for child support, then go for it. But if there is any doubt in your mind, cover your own ass first.
So you can fuck a chick instead of going through all the artificial insemination shit, everybody involved is cool with it and you came here instead of making some goddamn babies?
Nigga, u gay?
What's so wrong with the turkey baster ? You don't literally fuck, but just give them sperm once in a while. If they're educated about their ovulation and menstruation cycle, it should be ok. You just wanna fuck, admit it. You selfish shithead.
So you're a lazy asshole that would rather hurt his wife for a fuck. You really think your wife is okay with it? Just admit you wanna fuck your ex because ''everyone is literally fine with it''.
Op stated many times that his wife is the kind of person that would tell him instead of just going with it. That's the information we have to go on. I love the amount of people who apparently think they know op's wife better than him. Those are the kinds of people who are obviously inserting their own biases and insecurities instead of going off the actual information provided. So fuck you with your "I can speak for this woman I've never met before better than her husband" attitude.
Why do you talk like you know me then ? He asked for an opinion, there's mine. You didn't say anything for the topic, you're just licking op's ass. You're probably op anyway.
You cannot know a person completely. I don't know her, he might know her or he thinks he does. People change. Views change.
I'd suggest you calm yourself down :)
But why not just do it and enjoy it if op's wife and everyone else are actually fine with it?
Yes, this must be a master plan concocted by the ex and approved by op's own sister to ruin him forever!