>>16656127 premature ejaculator. Basically getting in a relationship or trying to get laid is pointless for me because: 1. I can't satisfy my partner. 2. I would be disappointed at myself 3. She would just laugh at me with her friends. Yeah, Life sucks.
Most painful: I jerked off once in the library at my college at like 2 in the morning because my room mate at the time was this Chinese kid who would keep me up all night every night with nightmares, so I was practically spending the night in the library every night and... Whoops. Wish I had had a girlfriend, but I spent too much time working to meet girls. So now I live my life like the police are following me like I'm some kind of sexual deviant and making my life hell. I don't really know if anyone knows, but I'm so scared there was a residual smell or something... 8 years of college and 160,000$ down the drain now living in a paranoid hell cuz I had a boner all by myself...
Also, when I was really young I used to make my brothers watch golf instead of cartoons on TV until they fell asleep so I could sleep downstairs on the couch ( my parents wouldn't let me sleep downstairs until my brothers were asleep). I feel so bad about it...
>>16656920 >Kakeru Kurosawa is an antisocial junior high school student. He rarely associates with his classmates, and he looks down on them. But this behavior is topped off by a certain bad habit, his closely guarded secret: every day after school, he sneaks in to the rarely used girls' toilet on the 3rd floor and masturbates in a stall.
>Kakeru's shadowy routine remains undisturbed until one day, when a diminutive girl from his class, Aya Kitahara, almost discovers him. Their meeting begins a coming-of-age story dealing with blackmail, bullying, revenge, heartbreak and ultimately, redemption.
23 and for the first time I've genuinly fallen in love. And she doesn't even want to look at me. There are a lot of woman who are interested in me, but the ONLY one I've felt something like this, doesn't care at all. AT ALL.
And I know she's not out of my league, that I should be able to reach her, that I am good enough for her to at least give me a chance. But she doesn't care one bit about me.
I know perfectly well, that I should move on, but it's so hard to kill that inside which gives you hope, which gives you pleasure. Sometimes I think it takes superhuman strength to sufficate that feeling. But I know I have to do it. If it just would stop being so painful. It hasn't stopped bothering me for over six months now. I know it's pointless, but I don't know what to do about it. I know my obsession is completly unreasonable, but I don't know what to do about it. These fucking feelings and the pain just won't listen to reason.
>>16657024 Get another woman and get over your oneitis. Don't let oneitis control you, don't stew over this one girl. Doing so is pointless and only brings more pain. And if the old one wants you just because you found someoe else, don't take her
Socially awkward uggo, born with a cleft lip and palate, who should have stayed a virgin for his entire life, got into a relationship with a very lovely and pretty girl at the age of 18 (she was 20) after 3 years of chatting online. Lost her after 10 months due to stupdity (lied to her about my life/situation due to inferiority complex, I guess). Haven't left my apartment ever since, except to buy groceries, for 4 years.
I've fullfilled 2 of my major dreams and even at the apex of what was supposed to be one of the most enjoyable moments of my life, all I could think about was her. I've met 4 great women after her but they all had one critical flaw: They were not her.
I'm doomed to dream about her eyes until the moment of my last breath and I can never see her again.
I used to be an insecure teenager and let a dude push me into giving him a blowjob. It was a "LDR" and I was staying at his place after only having seen him in the flesh for a week. He kept pushing me to have sex with him. I desperately did not want that (I was a virgin), but I also felt terrible for accepting his hospitality and not returning his advances. So instead I gave him a blowjob. It was my fault, I was awkward and dumb enough to let him push me. I still feel ashamed for allowing someone to manipulate me that way. Fuck, I even feel ashamed for feeling so terrible about it. The shame keeps me from talking to anyone about it.
I am not going to complain about being a victim or anything stupid like that. I just really wish I would be able to enjoy giving a blowjob to my partner.
>>16656926 Being pressured into anything sexual is never fun.
I'm annoyed by my friend with depression. He's so needy and clingy and absolutely nothing will make him feel better. He says that exact same thing every time we talk, and I barely even pay attention to what he says anymore. I feel like a terrible person for it, but there's nothing I can say that will help him; I had to accept that a long time ago or become depressed myself.
My whole life I've been a low energy, withdrawn, passive beta. I've actively tried to break out of it over the past year and have had some modest successes with people and women, but I'm still an unhinged emotionally unstable faggot with insecurity issues. I've met a girl who is seriously interested in me but I don't think I want to date her because I'm afraid of attachment and intimacy. In reality I'm stringing her along to practice sex because I'm a desperately inexperienced virgin. And I'm plagued with fears that even if I did get into a relationship I would get cheated on by some more attractive guy with a bigger dick. Basically I'm a miserable piece of shit who manages to see the bad in everything.
I don't know how to initiate most social contact or what to do in it. Work is pretty much the only social contact I get outside of occasionally meeting a long time friend or seeing family, and I don't know how to change that. Hell, I'm supposed to go out with a girl from work after someone jokingly tried to set us up and she said yes, but I still don't know what to do, really.
I spent most of my teen years at a computer, never had people round (bar a few Rock Band meet ups) or went to parties or out at night. I know people at work around my age are meeting up and doing stuff, I'm friends with a lot of them, but I don't know what I'd even do with them out of work if I did anything. I tend to be overly analytical compared to them and have nothing much to say when it comes to maintaining small talk for more than a little bit: while people might be talking about the food they like or something, I'd be listening but thinking about a game or wondering where the pipes above the ceiling go through.
I'm not completely antisocial, i want to catch up and do things before it gets too hard to make friends and I stay a friendless shut-in for all time. It's just hard trying to reform from being a possible aspie into an at least mildly enjoyable person to be around.
I'm socially stunted and weird enough that I don't honestly believe I'm ever going to find someone I can or will want to spend the rest of my life with and that fucking terrifies me. I'm not outwardly confident or conventionally "alpha" enough to attract the one girl that I actually thought I would be happy to be in a relationship with, and even then she's probably not who she pretends to be around me.
I think I may have fucked up my life over the last 10 years to the point where it's unrecoverable. I don't want to kill myself but if I was given the option to die a meaningful death, I'd jump at the chance.
I am an overweight, ugly, lonely, depressed son of a bitch. Every single one of my friends have abandoned me at one point. My best friend, the person who stopped me from suicide doesn't even want to talk to me. I am stupid, I am a procrastinator, I am horrible at communicating what I need, I am a liability to everyone around me. All I ever do is cause problems for people.
My first girlfriend from five years ago was overweight, poor social skills, had a lisp and a lazy eye, low sex drive, and we broke up because she was effectively emotionless.
But I still deeply love her and I often think about her. I've never met anyone as interesting and smart as she was, and I think a couple of my relationships since have fallen apart because she set the bar too high in some ways. Today I packed away a Christmas ornament she gave me and I couldn't stop from crying.
>>16657073 That sucks anon, would you ever consider having a procedure done to fix your cleft? Also do you have any hobbies that have groups that do meet-ups that you can meet new people in? Or is it that the procedure is too expensive and that you don't like being social?
>>16657158 I had this fear for a while but when you learn that everyone and everything dies and that you can't do anything about it, you will either find peace or more fear. I hope you find the former, friend.
>>16657201 It can happen anon. Have you tried talking to a therapist about it? I know the subject matter can be hard to bring up but maybe it'll do you some good if you work it out, (that is, if you want to.)
>>16657233 I hope you meeting him just for company turns into something better for both of you. If it's difficult to engage him, maybe try getting into his interests/hobbies or finding new stuff together? Or maybe he's just quiet. My SO is like that and sometimes you gotta learn to be comfortable with silence and accept it's not them not wanting to talk but simply just not finding the need. If you crave social interaction, maybe meet new people through school, work, or other comms/boards?
>>16657260 It's okay anon, maybe you'll find someone who finds you interesting in ways you don't know. Or maybe you'll discover things that make you more interesting in your own eyes and others. What traits have your friends and family commented on that are qualities of yourself you're proud of? Go on based off those and try to get into some new hobbies and interests if you want.
>>16657284 Anon I think it's still worth being proud that you stuck to going to the gym. It's beneficial for your health and helps you have some form of discipline. Where do you see yourself failing when you try to apply this to other aspects of your life? Did you have trouble with school and holding down jobs as well?
>>16656767 What a bastard. I feel you, my ex told me bout her new bf i try not to let it affect me but shit, hes basiclly identical to me (besides the fact that im spanish and hes white) but hes pretty much a clone of who i am, ya know, just without pigmentation and i look like wolverine he looks like the guy from A goofy movie with the glasses.
>>16657335 Was the same anon, in some way I guess I still am. Surprisingly a lot of people are like this but just choose a major and get a job in whatever because social pressures and needs to pay bills. Did you have any interests that stood out to you in school or part-time jobs/volunteer work? What are things you enjoy outside of academia or just for fun? Do you have fears of committing to one "thing" for the rest of your life or a lack of motivation?
>>16658071 Anon how old are you? I'd say give the girl a chance and be honest about yourself. Don't sperg out and just dump your insecurities on her but let her know you're someone who's learning as they go and want to do well in your relationship with her. And if it's your first relationship, attachment issues may be present but always remind yourself that you guys both have your own lives and if it works out, great. But if it doesn't, that'll be that and you'll have a relationship in which you gained some experience in so you can do better in your next one.
>>16658236 Have you guys made any solid plans? Even the set up was joke, it might be nice to give it a try. As for learning how to be social, it's really a thing where you pick up tiny cues and lessons from a number of experiences so it's difficult to tell you the Do's and Don't's because it's better to seem them applied to real-life situations. I guess because your main problem is keeping the conversation going, have questions in your head ready to go. I know it may seem a bit autistic but keep the conversation going by asking questions about the other party because it may be easier for you to listen than talk. Try to relate, but try not to lie or exaggerate, to their experiences or interests and then relate it back again at them with questions to keep them involved in the conversation.
was depressed all through high school and college. always thought it was because i was directionless and lonely. now i'm 29, married the girl of my dreams, two beautiful kids, great job, never have to worry about being poor or alone again... guess what? still depressed all the time. can't stop thinking about killing myself, only now i feel like i can't b/c i have kids, which just makes me even more depressed. hooray!
I've never been good enough for any of the women I've asked out, and despite trying hard to make myself more appealing - I don't blame them for not reciprocating. I'm nothing special, and I might die that way. Alone and forgotten.
>>16656127 I was a whore as a little kid, I had online sexual relationships with guys in their 30s and 40s when I was 10-17. I was an ugly lonely kid and sought it out. It's one of the most embarrassing things I've ever done and I could never tell anyone. It's a large part of why I'm angry and distrustful but I did it to myself completely which is humiliating.
I give up way too easily. I used to be a clever little asshole, back when I was a kid. Never had to study because everything felt so intuitive. Nowadays, I've dropped out of college because it turns out that learning to study is more important than getting all As in elementary school and I completely failed to even attempt to develop that skill. I'm in full NEET mode, living with my mom, completely unable to gather the willpower to do anything that isn't straight-up escapism in the form of video games, reading books, etc. Just waiting for a lucky break, or for my patience with myself to run out and either sudoku or suck it up and try to be a minimum wage normie.
Also idly wondering when the debt collectors are finally going to start knocking.
I'm a fucking creepy weirdo grill with harem fantasies, what the fuck Not for the emotional attention, mind you, I don't want beta orbiters, I want to be with, care for and have sex with multiple guys (not necessarily at the same time).
I just like to make people happy, and guys tend to feel nice when a qt grill likes them
Where to start? I'm a 20 year old female who still lives with their mother. I'm unemployed, and I waste so much fucking time either playing games or sucking dick. My last relationship ended January 2014. And ever since then I've just had fling after fling, because no one wants me. I'm basically that girl you would fuck but wouldn't want anyone to know about. Know why? Cause I'm an embarrassment. I think I'm funny because all I do is shit post, I have an eating disorder and anxiety, I'm easier than grade two homework, I'm angry most of the time, and I'm so fucking mean and disrespectful to everyone around me, even though I try so hard to be compassionate, but everyone's too wrapped in their own lives, that if I wasn't a cunt, I'd have all the energy leeched off me. I should just die.
i have no direction in life. i was sure of my career since i was a child until all the discouragement got to me and im honestly questioning it. im not good at anything else though, so im scared of the future. im also fat, poor and fuck ugly. been raped 3 times in my life by my brother and 2 of his friends as a child. only reported my brother.i feel like im losing whatever few friends i had. no job. no confidence. stil, somehow think ill find worthiness somewhere down the line of my life.
>>16659168 Not the person you're responding to but it's normal for people to have fantasies about multiple members of the opposite sex. Heterosexual women find men's harem fantasies just as disgusting as men find women's harem fantasies. That doesn't change the fact that it's hot as hell to imagine yourself with multiple members of the opposite sex.
>>16656127 The only reason I'm still with my girflriend is because I'm afraid of being alone. I have some extreme case of love-hate towards her. I keep thinking about her and I want to make things great but she continues to make me feel like a miserable piece of shit, which in turn makes me hate her so much.
And I know if I told her this, she'd just go "Okay"
Our existence overall is worth literally nothing and no matter what course of action we take, the only outcome that awaits humanity is the heat-death of the universe.
This is unimaginably difficult for me to process and I often have panic attacks if I let myself start thinking about the inevitability of my own death and the fact that I will eventually cease to exist.
Kissless virgin. Tell everyone I do not want children, but in fact I have a 10% chance of pregnancy due to a disease. I'm not charmingly chubby anymore but in fact obese. Soon to be graduating with Bachelor degree that will lead me nowhere. Have zero work experience. My best friend is the only one who sees any kind of potential in me and is moving to another continent in February.
>>16659054 please dont die, anon. its not disgraceful to be 20 and still living at home, either. you can still get back on your feet. you might legitimately want to see a therapist if youre able to due to your anxiety and eating disorder, it might help.
I'm falling in love with my housemate. She's just perfect for me but I'm too much of a hateful, depressed shite to deserve someone like her in my life. She's the only one that's really gets me, as we're both very sarcastic and blunt. I just want to go downstairs and tell her how I feel but I just can't as I'm too emotionally repressed to actually talk about my feelings, to the point where I don't even talk about things or people that make me really happy in case someone uses it against me. Fucking hell.
I keep trying to sort my shit out but 4chan is like a drug, every time I try to leave I keep coming back and staying. It's not helping me break out of my shitty attitude towards life as /pol/ makes me hate anyone that isn't white and /r9k/ makes me hate women, I don't want to, I really don't but I just can't leave.
I've got a pretty bad stutter which gave me anxiety at high school and 6th form but since I've been at uni I've got slightly better, but I still feel like I'm 10 years behind where I should be, socially. I blame my stutter for almost every problem I have and know I'll continue doing so throughout my life, even though I've been told hundreds of times by friends, employers and strangers that it isn't that bad and they don't really care if I stutter or not.
There you go, the 3 things that are driving me mad and ruining the best years of my life. It could be much worse, I know so I guess I should be grateful.
I have psychosis NOS (similar to schizophrenia) and I'm afraid I'm having another breakdown. I was going to kill myself rather than go to the hospital but I've decided against that, I can't do it to my parents, they've already lost a child.
>>16659325 This is what got me into /x/-tier bullshit, but it's a great escape. Truth be told, I'm still waiting for 'that' experience that confirms to me that there is something more, but searching for it is quite fun.
>>16659602 Contacts my man. Ask around your immediate and wider family if they can keep their eyes open for a entry level job to get you going. There's really no shame in doing that in this day and age. I've been fortunate enough that my family seem to know employers of basic manual labour jobs.
>>16659608 What don't you like about yourself, Anon?
I can't refuse when people ask me to help and it leaves me feeling like shit. They rarely thank me for it, they never call me to go and hang out. It's not that I'm being anti-social or introvert. I do speak with people, but it seems like they all are just using me. Till this I would be just think that all my help would pay me back someday, but last week I agreed to help a girl with her project. She rarely speaks with me and I know that I will end up doing the most work and the most I expect is a vague thanks. I have no idea what to do, if I just started to refuse everyone, it would just make me feel worse and probably force me to spend more and more time on /b/ and other shitholes.
>>16660018 I work in mental health. I know how ugly this diagnosis can be, I'm sorry. Please don't kill yourself. There used to be a meet-up group that helped more than a few nos people, although I'm not sure what happened to it nowadays.
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