>>16655460 No, I'm just curious. Moving closer to her in a week's time so hopefully the relationship will pick back up again, it hasn't been the same since it became LDR. She moved back home after her course ended, which meant a 3 hour distance between us, then I moved back home a year later so it dropped to 2. With my new place the distance will be 1.5 hours (and 30-60 minutes for each of us to get to the centre of this enormous city and meet up).
I just hope seeing each other more often will help my feelings about the relationship.
Actually, one more question, as this is also my first relationship: after the honeymoon period is over, what are you supposed to feel? I still find her very, very attractive, even though by strictly objective standards (I.e. comparing her to models and actresses) she's average.
Just I've found her lifestyle to be more of a problem, in that she doesn't have any hobbies. I guess it's the nature of her post grad course as she does a 40 hour week of working/studying but only has 6 or so contact hours a week and all the students are spread out over this enormous city, so it's harder to make friends I guess.
I suppose, fundamentally, that having to make excuses and find reasons to prove that you still like her is indicative of a deeper problem.
>>16655509 There's breaking up and then there's what happened in that Sex and the City episode where the guy left Carrie a post-it saying "Sorry, I can't", which is basically what happened to me in text form.
I guess I'm just meant for this world because I wouldn't even do that to someone I've dated for a short time.
>>16655478 >I still find her very, very attractive, even though by strictly objective standards (I.e. comparing her to models and actresses) she's average Be still my heart. It's a real pitty that you're already spoken for, Adonis
you always have a right to be angry, regardless of how a person rejected you. as for him being a coward? who knows. you're not him, so maybe it was just easier for him, or maybe he was afraid of you. that was his choice, move on.
>>16655442 >If a guy breaks up with you over text when he could have done it face to face , that means he's a coward i find it very pathetic if People (men & women) dont have the Courage to talk face to face in situations like that
>...have every right to be angry at him right? well you can be and do whatever you want
Sure, but it'll take time, and in the mean time you have a right to be angry, you have a right to hate, you have a right to be pissed off and mourn. Just remember why you're mourning. He took away your sense of comfort and safety, he broke love.
You'll love again, that's not an issue. In the mean time, stop thinking about him, and accept that he was a bad choice. Like eating prawns from a vending machine. It may have seemed like a good idea, but it wasn't. So move on. There's no reason to be mad at the vending machine, or talk about it, or think about it ... just stop eating from it.
I tell a lot of people to read this book, but it's a life saver. Hold me tight. It's a book about love, and what love really is, why we hate, and in a lot of ways, how to get over it. We take guitar lessons, and driving lessons, we go to school to learn accounting ... but love ... we expect to just learn on our own. That's crazy. Go read Hold me Tight and you'll see what I'm talking about.
>>16655457 It isn't unfeeling. You are just being selfish. The "feeling" that you claim you have is greed and vanity.
>>16655454 >Comitted You two clearly don't even live together. If you two are actually in the position where he can do this over text without worrying about having to interact with you again, I doubt your relationship is that "comitted".
No kids. Don't live together. Separate bank accounts, clearly. Do you two even live on your own or with your parents? You don't have the capacity to be in a 'committed' relationship if you don't even have control of your own life yet. You are a dependent for your parents.
>>16655689 Are you ten? Do you allow pop-culture to influence all of your decisions? >it's okay, see? I'm average too! Is a complete cop-out. You're putting yourself down to justify acting like a spineless idiot. For fucks sake, if you're attracted to her then tell that girl she's beautiful.
Relationships are typically emotional. Breaking up is typically an emotional event. Texting is typically not an emotional communication method. We can logically deduce that he did not approach the situation like a typical relationship. We don't know anything else. It could mean he is inexperienced at communicating feelings. It could mean he has difficulties experiencing feelings. It could even mean you're an emotionally abusive partner for all we know. You're asking us to automatically take your side and validate your feelings. We can't.
>>16655720 I'd rather not be angry at all and just accept that it didn't work. I was just hurt and shocked. I was asking because I was wondering if others see it like me. I don't want to be a selfish and irresponsible person who thinks she's always right. But in my mind, this is not okay.
>>16655729 Heh, that's a good analogy. The reason why I'm so angry is because he knew I was kind of a lonely and lost person before so when he kept telling me he was so sure of the whole thing I let good opportunities pass me by to be with him. Looking back I can't believe I was so dumb and trusting but I had never felt so accepted before. Easy come, easy go as they say.
I will read that cause I'm really at the end of my rope here. Thank you!
>>16655748 Stop being so patronizing please. We're two adults in our mid 20s. I guess he is simply more like you and thinks being in a close romantic relationship means nothing and you can check out whenever you want. I hope I will meet someone more like me next time.
I've been there anon. When my last gf broke up with me, I'd just left my job as well and literally went from waking up to her texts / going to sleep to her voice, to nothing.
No friends, no hobbies, no social life. I'd go as far as to say that when she stopped talking to me, I actually lost myself. I mean I literally didn't know if I liked camping, or I'd just camped for her anymore. It was pure agony.
Here's what it taught me ...you can't be in a relationship with another person unless both you, and they, are whole and happy individuals before becoming a whole and happy partnership. Otherwise, one (or both) of you are bound to be dependent on the other ... and that sucks.
>>16655776 Yeah I hear you. I know I got too into it because of the hollow feeling inside. I have a job, hobbies and friends but going from him being the closest person to me to nothing is still really hurtful. I don't really think I was dependent but he was a huge part of my life. I don't know what went on there and he probably had his reasons. I just thought I would mean something to him and he'd have the decency to talk about it like adults.
>>16655765 I understand that it has hurt you personally. I think it's ok if you say that it has hurt you personally. I understand why you are inclined to take an extra step to insult him but it is not the right approach to dealing with the situation.
>>16655798 I understand. I'm probably taking the immature approach but the reason why I am so angry is because he presented himself as someone who wouldn't be so aloof. I feel like when I had served my purpose to him he just threw me away. I'm as mad at myself for not being more careful. I obviously didn't know him as well as I thought. I hope I will find peace soon.
Nope, he may have been concerned that you would convince him not to break up with you. Often times its pretty easy to be pressured to stay in a relationship rather than seeing someone you care for suffer. You got some form of closure, move on. He likely saw some aspect of the relationship being toxic, I'm sure you are aware of problems that occurred in the relationship.
>>16655442 It's completely cowardly, and you do have a right to be mad. I hate people who avoid confrontation like this. I find it weak. I've had this happen to me before, and it just goes to show how self absorbed and selfish they are. It gets me steamed.
>>16656074 Best of luck moving on, anger is an easy emotion to hold onto. Focus that energy into building yourself into the person he wishes he could be, and you'll find someone who will make you want to be more.
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