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how do i stop comparing myself to others?...
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how do i stop comparing myself to others? how do i become better?

>be me
>28, kissless virgin, no friends, boring, loser, no hobbies
>have coworkers that are younger than me but are paid the same these guys are:
>24, many "alpha" types, that have many friends, play many sports, good at conversations, party a lot with friends, travel a lot, etc.

why would any girl want to date me?
>>
Get friends and hobbies, and be interesting. Nothing's going to change if you don't make an effort to improve
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>>16648583
>get friends
how?

>hobbies
how can i compete with people who have been cultivating skill in their hobbies for much longer? i'll be an amateur for years before i get good

>be interesting
how?
>>
>>16648714
Just talk to people, it will be hard if you don't share any interests with them though. As for the hobbies thing there must be something you are at least vaguely interested in and would like to know more about. There's nothing wrong with being new to a hobby and people aren't going to judge you for it, people usually love it when people take up a new hobby they also like.
>>
>>16648579
Godamm, stop bringing yourself down over some whores man. Go meet real women. Be interesting, be confident, be your fucking self. Show these qualities to all of the ladies you meet, who strike you as interesting and are worthwile your time and effort. BTW there are females who are struggling just as hard as you are, you just have to put yourself out there alot more. Go to the park or gym and you will surely meet the one.
>>
>>16648739
He's not down over 'whores', he's down because other guys are better than him.
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>>16648747
Bro I said that because, he described himself as a kissless virgin. So in a way he has problems with bitches.
>>
Nobody is boring, as long as you make a genuine attempt to relate to someone else and connect with them they will find you interesting. You have to make efforts to talk to girls, ask them how they are, what they like to do. If you show genuine interest in them they will show interest back, you just gotta make the effort
>>
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>>16648714
Start now. the longer you wait, the more you will be behind. Buy a cx bike and train until you are better than everyone you know.
>>
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>>16648731
talk to who? the only people i meet are coworkers really. and even then, seems like i've given off a bad impression as the quiet and boring guy

>>16648739
>Be interesting
how?

>Go to the park or gym and you will surely meet the one.
i should go to a park and talk to strangers?

>>16648812
>ask them how they are, what they like to do.
and if they ask me what i like to do and i have boring responses?

>>16648824
>Start now. the longer you wait, the more you will be behind
that's true, i should start something
>>
>>16648923
>talk to who?
get enough practice that you can talk to anyone. coworkers and cashiers are a start
>>
>>16648579
It is a fact that it doesn't matter what you look like what you've done or whatever, unless it's some extremity. I knew this average looking guy who I thought didn't look too bad but everyone fucking loved him, man and woman alike. I asked women what they thought of him, he got laid so often, I asked friends what it was and I got the same answer; confidence. They would say he wasn't even that physically attractive, but his confidence made up for everything. The way he walked, talked, payed attention to you and responded. I want to be more like him honestly, and it's hard, oh man is it fucking hard, I still can't pull it off, but if you manage to overlook everything shitty you see in yourself and exert that confidence until it's an atmosphere around you, you can socially do anything. I've seen it happen and I have no idea how he did it but he was one of the coolest guys I ever met.
>>
>>16649535
how do i become confident? you say it's hard to pull off
>>
Unless you look the part, it's your attitude. I used to be afraid like you, until I decided to fake it until I make it. I just pretended to be a "normal" person. Don't act like a virgin who has no idea what he's doing, don't act like a loner with no friends. It's hard for sure but there's no other way.

Unless you're a /r9k/ level bottle pisser you can fake it until you have some experience under your belt.
>>
>>16648579
ur problem is u dont have self-confidence.
overcome ur anxiousness and face reality that if u dont make any effort to urself. no one else will.
do u want to live the rest of ur life alone? or are u going to stand up and do something about it to make ur life better
>>
>>16648714
>how can i compete with people who have been cultivating skill in their hobbies for much longer? i'll be an amateur for years before i get good

Dude, a hobby is a hobby, not a contest. Just do something you like doing, that's preferably also interesting, and enjoy doing it.

You keep comparing yourself to others, while at the same time asking how you can stop doing that.

People who have fun are fun to be around. People who are miserable are not. That's the secret.
>>
>>16650714
Don't pay too much attention to advices like >>16649501, >>16648731 or >>16648731
It's basically true, but it's just paraphrasing some vague self-improvement book and that's not really helpful.

Some concrete stuff that you can actually work on:
Get fit
Dress better (join >>>/fa/)
Check meetup.com and join some events. You will be able to meet people. And if you don't, at least you'll have something to say about your weekend to your colleagues.
Go to a local bar if you have. If you keep coming people will talk to you and you can improve your social skills.
>>
>>16650754
What you said is what those guys said.
>>
>>16648579
There's someone out there for everyone, anon. Never lose hope, and don't compare yourself to others because ultimately it's futile. Who cares if other people seem like they have so much that you don't. Find out what makes you unique and own it. Even if it's something as boring as having empathy or being sincere, or being emotionally wizened enough to have lived all these years without a woman. Own it. Accept the hand that's been dealt to you in this life and try your best to improve. That's all you can do.

Keep on trying. The strength and bravery that it takes to continue to live a life like yours (and mine too, in case it wasn't obvious) is mind boggling. Nowhere in our genetics were we prepared for this much loneliness, and yet we continue to persevere. You're solid fucking gold anon. When you do finally meet a girl who's willing to date you (and YOU WILL, I guarantee it) you will bring so much empathy and emotional experience to the table.

Stay strong, my friend. More practically, have a lot of confidence in yourself and be clean-shaven and dress marginally well. Look a girl in the eyes when you speak to her. Be honest and open. Be funny. Be yourself.
>>
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>>16648579
tell yourself your better than everyone else and you'll have nothing to worry about
>>
I have nothing to contribute but I wanted OP to know that he's not alone with these feels.
>>
Your biggest problem is that you don't know what you want in the first place, you see a beautiful girl and the reason you want her is because of her beauty, in order for the girl to want you back, you need to offer her a reason to be attracted to you. Some girls only date hot guys, some girls only date guys with money, some girls like guys with ambition, some girls like humble hard working guys, some girls like intelligent men etc. You gotta figure out what you want to be and what makes you happy. You need to come up with a reason to wake up every day and look forward to the day. If you hate your job, figure out another way to make money then quit it, if there is no alternative, put up with the 8-10 hours you are there and make the other 8 hours you have in the day something to look forward to. Join a gym, get a personal trainer if you have to, teach yourself something new, a language, an instrument, how to cook, do something you enjoy, do multiple things that you enjoy, watch a basketball game, go for a walk, etc. Occupy your time with these activities, make yourself as independent as possible, don't rely on anyone for anything. Then start socializing, throw away your shyness, go up to the person, find out something they find interesting that you know a little about and talk about that subject, politics, knitting, swimming whatever it is, and ask them questions about it and learn to subtly change the subject multiple times, thats how conversations are interesting. (Ex. subject is politics, as a person what they think of donald trump, then make a joke about the apprentice, then talk about a reality show you use to like and watch etc.) just talk about random things with anyone, guy, girl, old, young, you will learn a lot of things and become better at talking. To find a girlfriend, you need to approach girls. Now some of the pictures you have posted, sorry to say this, but unless you are somebody that at least 100,000 know and talk about, you will not get those
>>
>be more fun
>be more interesting
>stop being miserable

its like you people arent even trying to give a good advice
>>
Just wait for the right person to come along, as cliche as that sounds, it'll happen. It happened to me
>>
girls, they are the object and desire of every straight man in the world, there is a massive lineup ahead of you. Once you accept this, then you can move forward. I'm not saying you will never get a beautiful girl, I'm saying you will never get a flawless supermodel that every guy drools over. You can get an 8 or 8.5 out of ten that every 1 out of 2 guys will drool over to be your wife, but you need to work your way up by starting out with 5's 6's and 7's. Make an online dating profile and talk to anyone who will reply. Set up a date with anyone willing to go on a date with you and just talk, about whatever both of you want to talk about, some of those dates will go good others, wont, thats life, its normal. This will give you confidence and you will learn along the way what works and what doesnt. Then after you get your experience, and hopefully by now you have been going to the gym, now you are an improved individual who can compete with other people for a girl's attention. Now you can move on to the better looking girls. To get those girls, you need to find one that is respectful and kind in general and you have to subtly imply that you are interested in her, and you keep doing that until you find one that is interested in you, and then you keep going until whatever happens, happens. I forgot to mention, learn how to dress properly, its a big factor for girls, use the internet to learn that. Now you have to realize the main point in all of this is your are living your life, you need to be occupied at all times, that is how you become happy, you need to do things that improve yourself, girls are attracted to guys who are someone they respect, someone who they admire, maybe because of their kindness, maybe because of their drive. You like girls based on their looks, and that is why you haven't gotten anywhere yet, learn to like a girl because of other qualities and then a girl will like you for your other qualities, not your looks. You need to learn
>>
that every relationship between a man and a woman is for fulfillment, to have a person that has your back, to have a person who will have sex with you, to have a person you can take out or take you out, to have a person that supports you, to have a person who you can proudly say is your SO and vice versa. If you want to bang hot girls, theres prostitutes, if you want a hot girl to be your girlfriend, you need to be the best man for her in her eyes, so go out there and improve yourself and convince a girl that you are the best person out there for them and once you do that, you will have a girlfriend. The advice you are receiving is the only advice people can give you, you have to convince a girl to be with you, you do that by being interesting and fun. If you want a girl because she's beautiful, then for her to want you, you have to be fun and interesting. Justin bieber can get any girl in the world because he is well known, independent, and can support a girl's needs. You need to do all of that, but to a smaller scale, be well known at your work and among your peers, become independent, and find a girl who you think is pretty, is single and is not high maintenance. Thats all i can say, and dont tell me you knew all of this, because if you did, you would have a girlfriend by now.
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>>16648579

At 28, everybody just assumes you've already had sex. Unless you're overweight
>>
>>16651514
so i can pretend that i haven't had sex in a long time even though i've never actually had sex?
>>
>>16650803
I like what you said except
> be funny

What if I don't like my sense of humor? It seems I developed it when I was lonely and in deep depression. It's sarcastic, dark in a very arrogant and mocking way, borderline morbid, full of cynicism. I don't want it. Is it possible to change sense of humor?
>>
>>16650726
i can try this.. but afraid i won't be able to pull it off
>>
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>>16651308
thanks for the advice

>>16651344
what if she never comes along?

>>16651395
>>16651466
thanks
Thread replies: 31
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