Girls with sexual experience, please help.
My ex was my first sexual partner and although I masturbate a lot and I'm a fairly sexual person, it really wasn't all that. I mean I enjoyed pleasuring him but he wasn't big on foreplay and I only came once in all the time we were together. We had sex a lot and my vagina got pretty sore even from a lot of pretty mild sex. I found myself secretly wishing it was just over.
I'm not complaining or anything since I didn't really bring it up with him but I'm just wondering, does it get better once you have more experience or am I just not very sexual in that way? Maybe some people can't enjoy penetrative sex that much?
>I mean I enjoyed pleasuring him but he wasn't big on foreplay
There's your problem. Sex can be very painful if you don't warm up your love glove first. Otherwise your body won't be prepared for penetration, and you won't be lubricated enough. During sex, your vagina makes preparations to make it less painful and more pleasurable. If you don't have foreplay, you're forcing a dick into your poor, unprepared and unsuspecting lady cave. It's not experience, it's having a lover who thinks of your pleasure as a priority as well.
It's not that it was painful, it was just underwhelming. I think he was average so it wasn't too big or too little. Maybe a vagina just needs to get used to being stretched over the years.
>Yeah but I mean there isn't much he can do once it's in and we're doing it right?
>Is it that he didn't turn me on enough and went in too fast?
it sure didn't help
>Or maybe sex is just not for me.
I doubt it.
Yes blame it all on the guy. Don't say anything and secretly resent him for not understanding the billions of different quirks different girls have.
And if you do talk with him, PLEASE, only give him one try to do better and then act very disappointed everything isn't resolved instantaneously.
How I love certain women..
Men that know how to fuck, are good at foreplay and enjoy it, and that can make you cum regularly are as rare as they come.
If you find one, keep him. So it may get better, but not by much.
Guys, please don't start a fight. I wasn't blaming the guy. I was genuinely concerned about my own sexual health. Maybe it would have been better if I had told him but I was too inexperienced and thought I would be a nag.
It would definitely been better if you talked to him about it. In the future, I'd try to emphasize that your pleasure is important too. While pleasuring guys is a turn on, reciprocation is key. No one wants to fuck a starfish.
OP I know this is a very personal question, but can you make yourself cum easily when you masturbate? I'm asking because sex was bland and meh for me too, until I learned how to touch myself and make myself cum (sort of a late bloomer). I would practice this and learn what your body likes.
This type of reasoning is exactly what I (and many other guys) hate about woman. Sex is important for a man, and I' m sure he wants nothing rather then for you to enjoy it.
There is this thing called "normal communication" (something different from nagging), you should try and use it sometime.
You sound like you need more foreplay and a good lube, along with trying some different positions maybe.
Some women also suffer from dry vaginas lol. Not it's completely dry up there, but that your body has a hard time producing enough moisture during sex. However, that problem is rare and can only be diagnosed by a professional, so go talk to your gyno. She can also recommend you a good book or site on healthy sex.
Yeah it's important for a man and I took the wrong approach by just pretending to love everything. I will be smarter and more honest next time.
I could get wet if I was really into it.
You must be the guy OP found to be a very disappointing fuck.
Getting chicks to enjoy sex is not difficult. Just be patient, imaginative, have an average or bigger tool and make sure she cums by blowing her mind not just her pussy.
Well then there's your answer sweety. Finds ways to communicate what you need during foreplay, or that you want more of it. Some of the best advice I've gotten is to make games out of it. Like have sessions where you 'show him' what you would absolutely LOVE to be done to you, and then let him 'show' you what he wants done on himself.
Also, learning to communicate in ways that are more positive helps a lot. Like if he is being too rough with his hands, instead of saying 'ouch hun that hurts', you can try 'oh baby I love that your doing this for me, but I would love it even more if you could do it just a little slower and softer'.
yes, most of the time it gets better. when me and my boyfriend first made out, i thought he was awful at about everything he did. turned out he was just nervous. maybe your ex was always so turned on, he wanted to get the point quick, and cut all the foreplay.
and then again, some guys just work like that, and this will also be a reason for a break up, sadly, unless you tell him you need more foreplay because i think sex is very important in a healthy relationship. it doesn't make sense to beat around the bush and not tell your partner what turns you on. i like sex but i never climax during it, that only happens when he goes down on me, and i really need to concentrate for that.
whereas when i'm alone, it takes no more than 5 minutes.
i'm sorry for you though, i think when someone thinks they don't like it/are "just not that much into it", they haven't had real good sex yet.
My girlfriend only masturbates non-penertration, but I can make her cum alot and quickly, though I was the first guy to achieve this with her.
For both genders, the mental side of things can effect enjoyment massively, and having good communication helps get you there. Being comfortable and relaxed around someone makes it so much easier to get horny, and you gotta WANT sex to really enjoy it.
So talk to him, ask him to try and think about your pleasure a bit more, but still find joy in pleasuring him, and you'll prob have an amazing time.
There is more to sex than just sticking it in and moving haha, from as far as I can tell alot of guys never really learn though. Alot of them are probably never told that they could learn to do more though.