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Women vs Freedom
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice

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Hi /adv/

I'm 25. I've been with a great girl for 3 years now. She's wife material. Shes also my first serious girlfriend.

My issue is that I always planned on using my 20s to go and explore the world, go on crazy adventures, fuck random girls, discover myself and all that shit. I was a bit of a loser in my teens and I feel that I kind of wasted that part of my youth by fucking around on the internet.

I've I'm graduating this year and I've received a job offer abroad, a 1 year placement with my dream company. I had dreams of working there, saving up money, and going travelling around the world. Making an exciting life for myself.

My issue is the girlfriend. Should I pack in the adventure for her? Or leave her to go and do my own thing? I'm worried I might not be able to find anther girl as good. But I don't want to live my life in regret and pass up this opportunity.

This is the hardest decision I've ever faced in my life.
What is she doing with her life right now?
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You're going to wonder about the road you didn't take for the rest of your life, doesn't matter which one you choose.

Do you want her to be there for the rest of it?
Tell her you want to marry her but she will have to move with out overseas.
If she says no then just leave without her
If she says yes you have your cake and eat it too.
Shes just started her career, office work.

Due to the nature of her work it will be very difficult for her to keep changing the language she works in. Asking her to come with isn't really an option, and wouldn't be fair on her. It took her long enough to get a grad job in the first place.

I want her to be there for the second half of my life. But its really not fair to ask her to wait around for 5 years or so while I go and explore the world.

In my head I would always be single for this adventure, no ties back home.
end it.

you're 25, been with her 3 years, that's your early 20s finished. how was it? just realize that you're in for more of the same, year after year, decade after decade, if you stick with her. girls tend to anchor a guy and keep him rotating around her limitations.

i'm 27 and, allow me to inform you, there's a huge difference in self-image and maturity level between 25 and 27 if you're not a complete couch potato. suddenly it just dawns on you that youth is fleeting, soon you will be 30, and you have to figure your life out fast. you look at your friends, your interests, etc and cut off what is unnecessary, what is taking up your time, what is keeping you anchored to a reality you don't want to exist in anymore.

if i were you, i'd pursue your ambition of traveling and seeing the world. i can relate to feeling like you've wasted time away online, but you will feel like you've wasted time living a routine life with your girlfriend/wife in the future.

don't worry about having difficulty meeting other girls, man. if you're traveling, you'll meet them, and who knows what might happen?

your current girlfriend is a sure thing, but it's a boring sure thing. there are so many guys who find the one girl who likes them and then they get stuck there for their entire lives. 30 comes around, 40, 50, 60, and then it's over. so fast, with no way of turning back the clock.

you need to get in touch with your inner freedom again, the fact that you are writing about this stuff suggests to me that what you really want to do is get free but you need a push to realize it's the right choice.

just do it
Nothings fair in life, neither is anything fair in love also. You want something so ask for it. She then has a choice to make and she should be able as a grown ass woman to make the choice she feels most comfortable with.
>yeah so im going to move abroad for a while wait here and stay single and then if i come back in a few years we can resume were we left off

That will go down well.
I'm the one that told you to marry her and come with you. You are the only one giving yourself 2 choices that are mutually exclusive.
Come on you guys, life doesn't always have to be so black and white.

OP, you can find a happy medium for the both of you. Ask your GF if she would be open to you traveling and fucking other women, but keeping in touch.

I know it sounds crazy, but it happens. I'm with the girl of my life, and from time to time we have an open relationship when distance is involved.

We both love eachother, and we both love space. It's really not that hard to get over, once you let go of the possessiveness that strains so many relationships.

If you guys have true love, you'll find a way to make it work. 99% of people in this world just relinquish control of their life because they are too scared to be honest with themselves and who they keep close.
>marry her and come with you

That's not an option.
Its hard to explain, its just not.
Dont worry about not meeting other girls like her.

We are animals that tend to get stuck in a routine, breaking a routine always come with some fear and doubt. You'll never know if you dont try it..

If you feel is not right to keep her waiting while you are abroad, then end it.

Or you can try what >>16647801 said
f you feel like she's holding you back from enjoying your life fully the way you wish, end it. If it's just the idea of fucking random girls (which she might be open to as other said) which appeals to you, I can promise you that dating and picking up girls is pretty unrewarding, lots of stress and hurt feelings and the good times don't measure up to the feeling of being loved and being in love.
You clearly don't have a worthwhile or connected relationship if you can't talk to her about this issue. You've been together 3 years and you're treating her like what - an acquaintance?

If you can't tell her what's on your mind, what's the point of being with her at all?
sounds like more than traveling the world you mostly just care about fucking other people. you could easily travel the world with her, or at the very least stay with her but travel alone. I travel all the time, sometimes with my spouse, sometimes alone. its really not a big deal.
but I also dont have the urge to fuck everything that moves because i actually respect my SO.

if you dont like her then dump her and let her move on with her life. dont tie her down because you want a "wife material" girl to be anchored to you while you fuck around
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