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I'm not gonna shit talk this one, so...
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice

Thread replies: 21
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I'm not gonna shit talk this one, so here goes.

>suffer from depression for 1-2 years
>no therapist because of reasons too complicated to discuss
>self-harm, suicidal
>meet guy around May 2014, he eventually becomes the reason for getting up in the morning
>tells me top-tier screwy bullshit about how special I am and how much he likes/cares for me
>share problems, I give him advice when no one else does (or so he'd say)
>eventually spend 2 hours making out
>"this is it guys, I'm no longer a social zero/waste of oxygen, suck my dick an hero"
>genuine happiness for the first time in years
>shortly after, find out that he's done things with a qt female friend of his, who formerly became jealous of us spending time together
>mfw they start dating
>gives several inconsistent messages about not wanting to date me because of x,y and z
>mfw he writes off everything we ever did
>several seenzones on FB
>shitstorm of posts and photo albums of them together, immature as fuck
>tells me reasons for being in a relationship with her, generic shallow "she inflates my ego" garbage
>depression back like a storm
>been on 3-4 hours of sleep for the past four months, overeating
>random urges to cry like a bitch


More details can be provided. Long story short, I'm majorly depressed and I love a guy with the emotional maturity of an eggplant.
All cynical and hurtful comments are very much welcome here.
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>>15292186
Goddamn, looks like somebody cloned my ex. Odd. She has been depressed for 2 years too, and got pretty much attached to me soon. Anyway i am a male and i can relate with you until the "genuine happiness" line so i can tell you (probably) what happened to the other side of the barricade. You are not going to like it though. Interested?
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>>15292186
why don't you do what most women do?
go to gym, work on your ass, become a slut, fuck people and feel powerful because of vaginal manipulation?
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>>15292186
>several seenzones on FB

Uhh, what the hell is a seenzone?
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>>15292201
Give me all you've got.
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>>15292186

Hi Op, your mistake what needing someone else.

You can't trust anyone, If someone makes you happy you need to cut them out of your life as they will have power over you.

Anyway, don't overeat count your calories.

You should look at meditation. Buddhist meditation can help you, just need to distance yourself from your emotions.
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>>15292213
Ah, the dreaded "seen" on book face. It's a message that pops up to let you know that the other person has seen the message you just sent them. Awkward when they don't reply.
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>>15292207
See, I'm a special little snowflake, so I tend not to swing in the way of casual sex and mindfuck.
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>>15292227
Ook. give some time to type
>>
Hey, you there.

I'm not going to say things that are going to make things better, hell, I'm a trainwreck concerning love and I'm not the person that could give solid advice on having/maintaining/repairing a relationship because I've never had a proper one. I just want to tell you some stuff how I've been coping with love and depression.

However. I've been there. I've been depressed, stared into the depths of an heroing and addicted to porn and vidya. I know exactly what it feels like when life just doesn't seem worth it and everything is shallow and all the people around you tell you 'just to cheer up' and you don't even fucking know what that is. At a certain point I got so sick of being rejected by grills that something just snapped inside me. I mean, it was shocking to realize that at a certain point I coincidentally stood before traintracks and actually thought of ending it all. Started lifting weights, started going out, started sports. Christ, it was so excruciating and my only goal was to get a girlfriend.

That didn't work out. (lol do u get it cuz working out and lifting lol). Over the years I've still thought of an heroing and the self-improvement seemed in vain. Then, kablam, a year ago I made out for the first time and lost my virginity a week after. Things seemed to go upwards and finally started working my way. Then all the girls I managed to get never seemed to stick around for long. Boom, now I was a desperate handsome sociable trainwreck.

But that one moment was important as it made me work to something much better. In that year I've dated tons of women and everything seemed to go awry much and it felt like I was worthless because they didn't love me back. I was wrong. I wasn't good enough because I didn't love myself enough. Everyone who would just like me would become the #1 in my life.
>>
well im sure you've figured out that guy is no good for you so you're gonna get over the love bit rather sooner than later
you're lonely and depressed? i dont know if its made for you but what really helps me is having a dog
they're time dependent but its well worth it
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>>15292256
In the last few months I've actually finalized accepting and loving myself. This improved the relationships at home, with my best friend, but also netted me a female best friend and now it's gotten to a point where women are chasing me instead and I don't put any effort in anymore. I simply don't give a fuck about that anymore and see what's on my path and who knows, maybe I'll be single for 5 more weeks or 5 more decades. I'll be happy nonetheless.

Moral of the story, OP, please, stop basing your self-worth on others and stop clinging to people who aren't worth your time. You are more than that and are definitely able to change and get out of this rut. It really seems impossible now, I know damn well how it feels. But the only thing you have to do is work at all your skills. Trust me on this and in 5 years time you'll thank yourself so much that if you cloned yourself you'd probably started fucking each other for a week or two straight.

I love you stranger, keep strong.

-M.
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>>15292265
Thank you so much, dude. This is the last thing I expected from this board, I literally posted this here to hear the bitter and realistic side of the situation. I have several goals in life, but they seem almost unreal at the moment. Sort of like ghosts of the person I once was. Again, this has helped me more than anything. Keep on kicking.
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some anon already told you everything you need to know, so i am here just to say that you can and you will get better. believe in yourself for fuck's sake. it wasnt your fault and you definitely aren't anything bad just because it happened. keep strong anon! i hope the best for you
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>>15292227
Ok OP there you are. No greentext, sorry but on mobile.

Anyway, long story short, last year i dated this girl. Clingy, insecure kind of girl. Confessed she had depression issue before meeting me, quickly became way over attached to me.

On the other hand, i was just dealing with the fallout of some heavy shit that happened some months back. Always been the kind of cynical guy, but with that "tormented mysterious man" kind of personality (at leat that's what everyone around me says), what happened before only made it worse. I was, well, not feeling well. thought i may had a chance to fix myself with this girl. Boy i was wrong

She became obsessive over me. Always texting me, random outbursts, wild emotional swings. She was already talking about marriage after 3 months. Too much for me and ditched her. Ended up very bad. Had to make up excuses because i just couldn't tell her she was a psycho (inconsistent messages, just like your case). My fault anyway, since i realized it way before we were together seriously. Now she still hates me with every fiber of herself, and i still feel bad over what happened.

Now just be honest to you. If you behaved with him just like my ex behaved with me, that was your fault. Sure, you dated a scumbag, but acting like your life is depending on some random douche you just met is simply not cool. At all. It's a horrible feeling to know that another person pathologically relies upon you. Feels like being strangled. So pretty much he found the first alternative and went along with it
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>>15292316
And just as a closing statement, what he said >>15292265 is pretty much correct. I also may add another thing. The process of growing up as a strong and independent woman has also another interesting benefical effect. It keeps away abusive relationships. Abusive assholes are attracted like moths to a flame to girls with abandonment issues. As a fun fact, found out that my ex was with an abusive asshole before me and lo and behold, she is now with a guy 12 years older than she is, and i am betting huge money he is an abusive asshole too.

So really OP, get a grip over yourself. Grow up. Things get better once you have a clear definite goal. I know it sounds like those bullshit you hear in the movies, but you just have to believe it. Seriously

Good luck!
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>>15292316
I was never clingy, I always messaged him sparingly. I managed to keep everything hidden from him because of the reasons you described- it's never good to know that someone depends on you. As a matter of fact, the friend was acting even stranger, I once had to cancel a date because she wanted to spend the day with him. I'm just in a really crap situation now where he's just threatened to cut me off if I keep mentioning what happened.
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losers always cry about not being able to get laid but those are guys. females don't really have any excuse. dunno why you posted this on adv its more appropriate for r9k
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>>15292265
Jesus Christ. /adv/ has actually been really helpful lately. Thank you, M.
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>>15292354
Listen up girl. The female friend was just a release valve for him, to get rid of all those pressure he felt on him. The girl siply seized the opportunity to replace you. That's it. Canceling a date for her just proves that you were just doing that to appease him, so you wouldn't lose him

>I'm just in a really crap situation now where he's just threatened to cut me off

Seriously, who gives a fuck? I know he still means the world to you. I know how it feels like. But you have to move on. You don't "love" him. You simply think he is the right one for you. Your hormones have decided, your brain is following and you feel like shit because of that. It's all in your head. You should be the one cutting him off. Goddamn it, why don't you date another guy and move one, learning from your mistakes?

>damn it's awkward it's like i am talking to my ex gf fo real
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>>15292186
where you from girl?
Thread replies: 21
Thread images: 2
Thread DB ID: 33238



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