You are Shirou Emiya. One day some blonde chick shows up while

>Illya best girl

>lancer gets his ass kicked by a girl
>blocks his undodgeable attack
>weakshit.jpg

> I hope Rider will give me a ride

>The priest guy is really fucking tall
>I can't understand a shit of what he's saying

>I can't wait to drink with that irish man

>Damn I wish that hot girl at school would swear an oath to stick around me and do what I say instead of this girl

>I wish the priest guy stops going on circles

>my girlfriend is my dad's ex

autism: the motion picture

>>137811218
>be Shirou Emiya
>HERO OF JUSTICE HERO OF JUSTICE HERO OF JUSTICE HERO OF JUSTICE HERO OF JUSTICE HERO OF JUSTICE HERO OF JUSTICE HERO OF JUSTICE HERO OF JUSTICE HERO OF JUSTICE HERO OF JUSTICE HERO OF JUSTICE
>HERO OF JUSTICE!!!
>I'LL NEVER GIVE UP
>HERO OF JUSTICE HERO OF JUSTICE HERO OF JUSTICE

>I hope they don't turn my sister into a generic moeblob lesbian magical girl in one of the spinoffs.

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>>137811803

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>>137811562
This

>>137811218
assuming i already know the story
DAY 0
>decide to act like a true master
>go to the church with Rin and seiba
>listen to the priest
>decide to sleep in the church until dawn
>not hearing to the priest's complain

>>137814591
DAY 1
>leave the church at dawn
>go straight to tohsaka mansion
>ask rin to cooperate
>rin agrees
>she decides to stay in my house
>thatsnotgonnahappen.jpg
>convince her to cooperate separately
>she agrees
>talking about some plans to win the hgw
>but i secretly planning my own
>sleep

>>137814633
DAY 2
>wake up
>suddenly a worm appears saying senpai senpai
>tell saber she's a potential threat to the world
>saber cuts her head
>a wild tiger appears after i'm done burying the worm
>hide saber and cook like usual
>go to school with saber
>everyone looking at this blonde foreigner
>thinking that this is not really a good idea
>tell saber to standby at theforest behind the school
>find shinji and lure him to the forest
>end his miserable life
>go home and and sleep

>>137814666
DAY 3
>wake up without a worm waking me up
>go to ryuudo temple after school without saber
>tell kuzuki that i'm a master and i wish to cooperate
>meet a certain vixen and ask her to cooperate
>convince her to not kill me by promising her saber for her
>go home and sleep

>>137814709
DAY 4
>meeting with tohsaka on the rooftop
>tell her to go to ryuudo temple with me to fight a vixen at night
>night time
>go with her as planned to ryuudo temple with archer and saber
>no assassin on sight
>justasplanned.jpg
>then the vixen appears in front of us
>use the command spell to tell saber to do everything i say
>tell her to attack archer
>rin shouts at me
>"what the fuck are you doing?"
>"psssh nothing personnel"
>saber not giving archer any chance to move
>suddenly vixen use rule breaker on the cornered archer
>archer is our's
>rin's trying to run away and already at the gate
>suddenly assassin impales her from above
>sephiroth.png
>RIP rin
>saber is furious at me for being a coward traitor
>"fuck you saber you want the grail or not?"
>go home and sleep

>>137814735
DAY 5
>wake up and skips school
>go to ryuudo temple tell saber to practicing fight with kuzuki and i'm planning with vixen how to take out berserker
>"we need lancer buoy-a"
>scout the church
>not seeing any glittering gold
>we attack the priest and use rule breaker before killing him
>stay at the church basement
DAY 6
>marching with archer, lancer, saber and caster to the einzbern castle
>suddenly feeling a huge killing intent
>berserker charging to us
>oh shit oh shit it's on
>saber and lancer fight at the front
>caster and archer supporting from behind
>berserker is dead
>tell ilya that i had a good life with kiritsugu before killing her
>rest in the eiznbern castle

>>137814762
DAY 7
>tell caster there's another servant
>THE STRONGEST SERVANT
>saber's surprised
>"he's still in this world?!"
>speak of the, devil he comes
>"sup mongrels"
>tell caster to make archer use UBW
>"i'm the bone of my sword"
>"heh faker that's is not gonna wor-"
>lancer attacks gil and making him busy
>"so as i pray, UNLIMITED BLADE WORKS"
>now playing - EMIYA remix
>tell saber to not fight yet and stay behind
>Gil is angry and trying to reach EA
>oh no that's not gonna happen
>tell saber to cut gil's hand from behind
>"SEIIBAAAAAAAA"
>"GAE BOLG!!!"
>gil's dead
>"nice work guys"
>nod to caster
>"with the power of command spell, Archer and Lancer kill yourselves"
>they literally kill themselves!! the absolute madman
>just after archer and lancer died i tell saber to kill vixen
>kuzuki's out of nowhere trying to interrupt
>saber already know his secret technique because of their practice fight on DAY 5
>saber proceed to kill both of them
>they're dead
>go home and sleep

>>137814789
LAST DAY
>trying to have a conversation with saber
>she hates me and don't want to talk with me
>i'm feeling a bit sad since i'm a saberfag
>fuck it, i'll use the 2nd command spell to tell her to fuck me right rabbit
>lewdscene.jpg
>go to ryuudo temple and fight with assassin
>assassin's dead
>WE WON SEIBA
>"by the command spell, SABER KILL YOURSELF"
>"eee?? nani??? YAMEROOOOOOOOOO"
>saber's dead
>i'm really sad but it has to be done
>the grail and angry manjew appear
>"what do you wish for?"
>"o grail i just simply wish for an answer"
>"what answer you desire anon"
>"can shiki kill servant?"
>END

>>137811588
>My girlfriends are:
>Dad's lover
>Dad's daughter
>Dad's enemy daughter
>Dad's friend
>Dad's enemy adopted daughter
>Dad's enemy nun daughter
>I love u dad

>>137814818
I love you anon

>>137814818
Well shit, how is anyone going to top this?

>>137814818
i laughed at the end

>>137814818
Thank you, this was the best.

>>137814818

>MASSIVE faggotry.doc

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>>137814789
>every servant keeps being THE STRONGEST SERVANT
>we wreck the dude with some firecrackers and a sword I created while having sex
>then I fuck his kid or my aunt or some shit idek i lost track of who she was halfway through

>>137814818
100/10 gave me a good laugh Anon, great job.

>>137814818
What a ride. Thanks anon

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>>137812636

>>137814818
10/10

>If I keep trying my hardest it will work out
>If I keep trying my hardest it will work out
>If I keep trying my hardest it will work out
>Why does my sister keep dying?
>Fuck the holy grail I'm going to go fight ISIS instead

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>>137811218
This one is better.
>You are Ilya...

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>>137811218

>Discussing tactics RE:magi since TFW no prana
>Hear weird noises on the roof
>Send Saber out to investigate
>Realize too late that Nasu ain't writing this shit. MFW
>Get turned into modern art by a spear.

Why didn't Shirou just take a train out of town?

>>137818243

>Little purple riding hood went out into the wood to go and visit her daddy issues
>On the way she met a big bad gilgawolf
>"My my, what a big collection of swords you have"
>"All the better cut your eyes out with"
>Suddnly the lumbserker jumped out of a bush and turned gilgawolf and his many swords into a hat stand
>The end

>>137818427
Read the VN

Hell, you could even watch the first couple episodes of the anime, and you would still get your answer

>yes, i'm your master, now strip naked and fuck me hard

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>>137814818
You owe me a new pair of sides.

>>137814818
definitely saved 10/10

>>137811218
you lost me

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>>137814818

>>137814818
replying to epic greentext

>>137814818
screencap requested

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>>137814818
>you don't specify which Shiki

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>>137821210

>Today I got really close to Sakura when I was helping her make breakfast
>Her insides sounded very wriggly
>girls do those noises when they're hungry?
>weird

>>137814818
You gotta give that route a name anon.

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>>137811218
>You are Shirou Emiya.
>For some reason Rin starts to act strange
>Then Saber also starting to act strange
>Then Rider
>The grail wars doesn't goes the way I thought it would be
>There's a little to no death battle
>Saber starts avoiding me for some reason, then Rin too
>What the hell is going on?
>It's like there's some third party that actually affects several grail wars participant
PIC RELATED

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>>137821864

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>>137821625
Thumbs up anon!

>>137821864
This >>137821631
got you butthurt, wormfag-kun?

>>137821864
>he seeks the grail to finally achieve his dream of having a normal sized penis.

>I can't wait to have mapo tofu with best priest
>then gets into a fight with his dense future self from an alternate reality for Muh Ideals

>>137822020
But he has a normal sized penis. Maybe not for a jap, but for the rest of the world he's average.

>>137821988
Well I just thought Sakura a great girl for Shirou. The other girls deserves better than Shirou. They deserves some pleasure

>>137822079
His girth is bigger than a coke can.

>>137822319
Shirou can't pleasure Sakura more than the worms because the worms pleasured her so hard her brain chemistry got fucked up.

>>137821864
Based faceless fat old man.

>>137822426
That's why the HF exist. All his blabbering are just a compensation because deep down he knew he can't pleasure Sakura more than the worms.

That's why they're good match

>>137822319
Sakura deserves the old man more.
How can she be satisfied by Shirou's jap dick after having that much sexual experience?
Even if you ignore the worm multi-penetration, the aphrodisiacs, and Zouken's shapeshifting cock, Shinji is still probably bigger than Shirou due to his european descent.

>>137822515
>He can't pleasure Sakura
>That's why they're good match
Seems legit

>>137822522
>Sakura deserves the old man more.
Tell me even one girl that doesn't deserves the old man. If Shirou want to makes everyone happy, then he really should bring all those girls to the old man.

>>137822563
Yeah, maybe I'm wrong there.

>>137822563
He doesn't have to try because he already knows he never can.

>>137822608
>Tell me even one girl that doesn't deserves the old man
Saber, she has an old man of her own (Merlin).
Rin, she has Luvia.
Rider, she has Poseidon and Shinji.
Caster, she has Kuzuki.
Illya, she has no one, but Bahsaka would do an even better job than the old man with his colossal dick.
Sakura, she has Zouken (better and older man). But after Zouken's death she should be given to the old man, since Shirou will never satisfy her (her pussy canonically still has room for more after taking Shirou's cock).

>>137822919
>Implying all those can do better than the fat old man
Well maybe Berserker.

>>137822990
Poseidon is a God so, yes.
Zouken can change bodies and probably enlarge his dick at will, has countless penis worms that give women so much pleasure that their brains are fried, aphrodisiacs, magic powers, you name it. He is unbeatable when it comes to giving pleasure.
Kuzuki can fuck Caster gently, the old man can't.
Luvia is a foreign blonde with big boobs, and, we presume she has a pussy, so, unless the old man gets surgery, he will never give Rin as much pleasure as the Finn girl. Remember she's a lesbian that goes straight for Shirou.

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>>137822608
>>137822919
You fuckers should be pairing Rin with Gil.
He has the greatest compatibility with her.

>>137818243
>>137818243

>>137814818
>spoiler
kek

>spam nobel gasm
>replenish mana
>spam while replenishing
>bone of my sard.jpeg

>my feet hurts

>>137824284
>bone of my sard.jpeg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2CgxM0l0WA

>>137824784
EXXXXXX
CALIBOOOOOOOAAAAAAAHHH!!!

>>137811218
Did Emiya even have a computer?

>>137825730
>degenerate technology
This badass motherfucker didn't even use an alarm clock.

>>137814818
Based

>>137825816
lil' nigga probably texts 4chan from a rotary phone

>>137814818
a thrill from beginning to end

>>137814818
nicely done