Who would win, /a/? Goku (Dragon Ball Super) Vs. Jesus

>>135679159
>Kamehameha!
Jesus turns it into plenty of fish
>Genkidama!
Jesus turns it into some wine ass wine
>Goku goes in for some close combat
Jesus just ports in and out of some cave

this fight wouldn't go anywhere anon

Isn't Jesus a healer?

>>135679382
A healer that can resurrect and turn your blood into wine.

Jesus wins.

Can Jesus beat Demonbane?

>>135679431
Yeah.

He can exorcise him and brainwash him into his chruch.

If he has hax resistance, Jesus can call his daddy.

>>135679431
Jesus is Demonbane.

>>135679354
>>135679404

Dude.

Jesus got owned by some roman soldiers.

Goku wins.

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>Jesus
>fighting
>ever

>>135679159
Goku vs. Omnipotent God
I wonder

>>135679494
He attack those guys who wanted to sell stuff in front of the temple.

>>135679494
>Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword.

>>135679523
Jesus got owned by some roman soldiers.

He is pretty easy to kill.
Goku could destroy the universe in three punches in SSG.

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>>135679159
Hell, I beat Jesus/Buddha.

>>135679526
Did he kick their asses? Sorry, I'm new to the franchise.

>Goku Kamehameha's the shit out of Jesus
>Goku starts feeling the weight of his sins
>Cant bear it can kills himself
>Jesus resurrects two days later

>>135679577
Nah, he just pushed them around.

Human!Jesus is shit compared to Goku.

>>135679492
>>135679558
Jesus let the soldiers take him, he could have made them kneel with a single glance, did you even read the bible?
He had the whole thing planned out, he even told the apostles so days ahead of time.
He even had to make Peter stand down when he was about to go postal on the romans.

>>135679557
Why is this edgy bullshit so popular again?

Jesus was a carpenter
carpenter uses nails and other small sharp objects
goku is scared of needles
jesus bodies without even trying.

Goku wins the fight after Jesus turns the other cheek. Jesus then teaches Goku that you don't always have to fight everyone you meet. They share a meal and then part on good terms.

>>135679583
>Goku regretting killing someone
>Killing a supreme bastard who enslaves the weak minded idiots and steals their souls, and makes them his slaves.

>>135679558
Someone didn't read the Bible.
It was all part of his keikaku

>>135679674
That doesn't give him power over Saiyans with Anti-Mind control hax.
Or Martial arts training.

>>135679583

>Goku ever reflecting on s
his actions

Nice try nigger Goku is to dumb for that.

>hurr durr Jesus lost to roman soldiers

Well he beats the devil (i.e. Piccolo) no problem so there

>>135679683
Goku could just teleport Jesus to space.

>Goku loses to lasers
>lasers are focused light
>Jesus Is The Light

/thread

>>135679689
>Jesus surviving one single punch from Goku.

Also, Goku fights because of sport.

>>135679492
Dude.

That's like saying superman loses to kryptonite.

Every hero needs a weakness, or else it's saitama

>>135679733
>Do you think that I cannot appeal to my Father, and he will at once send me more than twelve legions of angels?

>But how then should the Scriptures be fulfilled, that it must be so?”

Is there anyone who can defeat bloodlusted Revelations Jesus?

>>135679704
His keiaku got him killed.

Goku would still be able to one punch him.

Just a reminder that even if he was the sun of God he was still stuck in a human body that can bleed needs shits and pee. A single punch from goku and Jesus is Fucking dead let alone a kaio ken. In DBZ they are throwing each other into rocks with enough force to carve out a goku shaped area in a rock. What makes you think Jesus can with stand this. He got rekt by Roman soldiers and has a tough time carrying that cross which goku could do with 1 Fucking hand. Jesus has no chance in hell against goku and super saiyan goki

>>135679740
If the devil was defeated, there wouldn't be any more bad people post-New testament.

Jesus nor God have defeated Satan.

>>135679829
>>135679465
see
>>135679474

>>135679893
His plan WAS to get killed, dude. Dying for your sins, etc. You know.

Only man kind was guaranteed free will. Jesus can just take goku's and make goku his bitch.

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Daily reminder that Jesus' true form is at least Planet Destroyer Tier.

>>135680077
Angel's also have free will.
See Satan.

>Jesus is portrayed as a humble man of piece that would chose death over hurting others
>Hurr Durr he can kick butt

Is this an American thing?

>>135680139
Sorry but Hippie-Jesus isn't in the bible
Neither is Murican-Jesus
He's just the omnipotent God.
It's kinda hard to not wank him

>>135680139
This

>>135680139
May I direct you to Revelations?

>>135680139
Humble, peaceful Jesus was here to set an example for humans. Post resurrection/ deity Jesus is one third of the power that created the universe.

>>135680139
>Don't understand the pacifist nature of their favorite character
>Obsessed with making him into something that he is not

Sounds like the average Gohanfag

>>135680139
Didn't he throw a shitfit once or twice, though.

>>135680187
Jesus is not god.

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>>135680139
>>Jesus is portrayed as a humble man of piece that would chose death over hurting others
You missed the passage where he whipped the fuck out of some jews for getting their greedy jew hands over his church.

>>135680266
>is one third of the power that created the universe.
That's heretical

Jesus is always depicted with light around him, his ki is so powerful even at rest it can't be contained.

He can probably go at least Super Jesus 3. Or probably Super Jesus God Super Jesus.

>>135680365
But could he beat Saitama?

>>135680329
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

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>>135680329
>he can't into the trinity

>>135680340
>When angered the son of god flips a few tables and chase you with a floppy rope

Not even Yamcha could lose to this

Jesus can't beat Goku because Jesus doesn't exist.

>>135680388
Maybe if Jesus had some comedy powers. He did walk on water because he forgot it wasn't land, like some Looney Tunes cartoon.

>Jesus is a pacifist!
>When there's an entire book written on how he's going to wreck shit for non-christians when he finally feel like coming back for real
lol. Goku's only chance of winning if he decides to convert to christianity.

>>135680266
>>135680139
>Humble, peaceful
Have you read the bible? He's kind of an asshole.
>Tells a storm to fuck off because he wanted to nap.
>Calls Joseph Satan because he wants to take a break from hiking.
>Violently throws merchants out of a church.
>Gets physically upset when his disciples question him.

I don't know where the image of Jesus being a super tolerant nice guy came from.

>>135680329
>Jesus is not god.
"Speak my name, for I am all things to all people."
YHWZ The Christian god is everything, nothing, and specific things according to the trinity of spirit, flesh, and mind.
God the mind represents all things as ideas.
Jesus the flesh, represents specific things as tangible.
Spirituality represents things that are not there, but do not need to be there to still exist.

>>135680025
If you don't sin, Jesus died for nothing.

>>135680100
Haha.

Goku is a Universal Buster and MFTL+

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>>135679583
Goku doesn't have any sins.

>>135680966
Look up why christians dunk babies in cold water.

>>135680139
BUT A SWORD

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>>135680566
Or get Satan to help him and give him HELL POWERS.

Nah, he would solo as a SSGSS.

Marth could solo Jesus.

>>135680100
are we meant to see the dick?

>>135680574
>That time when Jesus cursed a tree for not having fruit

Saitama

>>135681142
>Son of God
>Cursing

What an hypocrite.
Who bought this piece of shit book anyways?

>>135681163
Saitana can't beat reality warpers like Jewsus.

And he is a joke to Goku.

>implying jesus isn't gary sue as fuck
>implying plot armor and continuity
>implying

>>135680765
Human!Jesus is a Joke to Kid Goku.

God!Jesus is a match for SSG Goku, but he gets destroyed against SSGSS Goku.

>>135681234
>DUR DUR HE IS THE SAWN OF GOOOD.

Who wrote this crap?
Why has this sold trillions of copies?!

>>135680494
Indeed.

Jesus is a fictional character.

>>135680471
Goku would kill Christian God.

>>135680226
Revelations!Jesus Vs SSGSS Goku.

>>135681284
It's the Haruhi of their generation. Like four people wrote about Jesus' life and whoever compiled the story put it all back to back so you get to read about Jesus' life with small differences four times in a row

>>135681284
The book builds his birth really well, I remember how hyped everyone was before Mathew.

>>135681498
Too bad the fanbase is retarded, like most popular series.

>>135679159
Saitama>>>>Goku>>>>>>>>>>>Jesus

>>135681664
Nope.
Jesus>>>>>>Supes>>>>Goku>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Saitama.

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>>135679692

>>135681883
Objectively wrong.

>>135679159
>Jesus (New Testament)

Why would you state that? Jesus doesn't show up in the Old Testament. The whole point of it being the New Testament is because of him.

>>135680287
>cursed a fig tree to never again bear fruit simply because it wasn't in season

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Anime over the Crusades when?

Featuring Saladin's younger sister (whether or not that's actually historical)?

>>135682061
Because he is OP in Revelations.

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>>135679159
Jesus.

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>>135679159
>literal creator and infinitely powerful ruler of the entire universe
vs
>an alien that can shoot lasers

Always bet on JC

>>135682641
Nah, Goku kills.

Fucking newshits not understanding Based JC's powers and feats.

>>135679159
>Goku (Dragon Ball Super) Vs. Jesus (New Testament)
>Not Goku vs God (Old Testament asshole version)
Come on you guys

Jesus is weak as fuck
I can kill him

>>135681284
That has been said over every popular manga/anime. That comfy ending desu

>>135683146
The Whore of Babylon did nothing wrong.

>>135683244
>getting drunk on the blood of saints
Literal comic book villain

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>>135681284
Because it was the earliest form of light novels.

Only in "recent" years have they begun to adapt the work into manga and comic forms.

I usually found power levels threads very stupid and useless, but this one is hilarious. Well done guys.

>>135679577
He started the table flip meme that day and called them hypocrites.

>>135679159
satan

>>135679492
What part of new testament did you not understand

>>135679159
Maria is best girl. Prove me wrong, faggots.

>>135681122
FAAAAIYAAAH EMBREEEMU

>>135679492
he said new testament jesus which includes Revelation when hes a superhero

>Jesus can turn water into wine
>Goku is 2/3 water (probably)

Jesus can instant kill him

>>135684149
Bullshit. Marie de Magdala is best girl. Marie is second best.

>>135684189
Yeah but Vegito still kicked Buu's ass as candy

Who says Goku can't still fight as mostly wine?

>>135684401
Fair point, I believe that anyone would die if all the water in their body suddenly turned into wine, but turning into chocolate should also be lethal, and he survived.

>>135684493
Wine is mostly water.

Are biblical stories just the ancient equivalent of shonen/capeshit?

Will people be looking for Goku or Superman's existence thousands of years in the future once the current civilization has been wiped out and someone's comic book collection is unearthed from a long-forgotten basement?

>>135684528
I wonder if Jesus can turn the water in the wine and repeat the process until it turn into every other chemical in wine but water.

>>135684600
>jesus making super booze

>>135684401
Has he at any point fought drunk?

So are we taking about pre ascention jesus or after asvention jesus?

because im pretty sure that nigga is OP as fuck after being ascended to heaven

>>135684870
I don't even know what kind of heresy this is

I'm surprised that the Madara Uchiha pasta hasn't been posted yet.

>>135679159
There is the Jesus from the gospels and the Jesus from Revelations. The first would not even fight, the second have a sword coming out from his mouth.

ERABE.

>>135679159
Goku because he is real

Here is a question
If jesus resurrected again right now Who would he pick as best girl?

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Are you guys stupid? Jesus is God's firstborn creation and the second most powerful being in the universe after God himself. He is virtually omnipotent and saying otherwise is blasphemy.

>>135685186
>implying Jesus wouldn't pick Goku.
Goku will be the right hand of Jesus in the next coming.

>>135685048
>Revelations
Man John was high on some dank lime to write all of that while in prison

>>135685220
>Jesus and God are separate beings
That is heresy

>>135685270
>implying

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>>135685253
I said best girl anon, every one knows that Jesus has god like tastes and would pick the true choice

>>135679159
Jesus would just convert goku.

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>>135685283
No it isn't read a Bible Catholic. I am pretty sure your Pope allows you guys to read it now.

>>135680471
Actually its supposedly a scourge, a whip coverred in broken pottery and thorns.

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I will quote Revelations 14:14-16
"14 I looked, and there before me was a white cloud, and seated on the cloud was one like a son of man[b] with a crown of gold on his head and a sharp sickle in his hand. 15 Then another angel came out of the temple and called in a loud voice to him who was sitting on the cloud, “Take your sickle and reap, because the time to reap has come, for the harvest of the earth is ripe.” 16 So he who was seated on the cloud swung his sickle over the earth, and the earth was harvested."
That's only his first form on the book, Goku can't beat JC

>>135685487
>All scriptures inspired by God and beneficial for reproving, for teaching, for setting things straight, for disciplining in righteousness
2 Timothy 3:16

>>135685485
Read the fucking Nicene creed

We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ,
the only Son of God,
eternally begotten of the Father,
God from God, Light from Light,
true God from true God,
begotten, not made,
of one Being with the Father.
Through him all things were made.

>>135685577
New Testament is shit
You would think that now they can actually record the stories on paper the plot would be more cohesive, but nope, marry sue ass pull after marry sue ass pull
Old Testament was much better

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>>135685577

>>135685621
Nicene creed is neither scriptual or canoical. Let me guess you worship the virgin Mary and pray to saints?
>>135685625
Nice troll
>>135685577
The trinity/hellfire/immortal soul are all pagan teachings that Emperor Constantine adopted so that Catholic Christianity would be more appealing to his pagan subjects
>>135685692
>>135685624
>Tips fedora M'lady

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>implying David and Solomon parts weren't the best parts
Do you even Christianity?

>>135685762
But anon, New Testament is the fedora core testament
Fedoras don't bother to read any other bible besides King James

>>135685851
Jacob wrestling with Samael for no fucking reason is much better

>>135685186
Magdalene, or whatever form she reincarnated into. He converted her from a whore to a loyal and faithful follower.

>>135685897
So Jesus confirmed to have an 8ft dick?

>>135685358
Which book had incest between the father and his two daughters in order to repopulate?

Oreimo reminds me of that all of a sudden.

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>>135685856
I read the whole Bible and I also read the revised New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures

>>135685762
>protestants
Literal wannabe gnostics

Jesus can come back to life all on his own

Goku needs the help of some faggy anal beads

>>135685935
Maybe? I mean, Magdalene repented and became a follower. And in recent times, people were wondering if she actually became Jesus' secret lover or wife, depending on interpretation of some vague lines.

>>135685971
>Translations
>not learning ancient Hebrew and Latin to enjoy the tales of our lord
Pleb

>>135686034
>Latin
>not Greek

>>135679159
Of course Jesus would win, this is blasphemy to even ask.

>>135685987
>toss a fig towards Jesus
>he loses his shit
>teleport and Kamehameha while he is still being salty about figs
Presto, goku wins

>>135681898
But enough talk have at you!

>>135685971
Truly the most legendary light novel. Endured so long, yet was simple enough for even uncultured and uneducated people to pick up and read. And debate.

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>>135679885
No

>>135686158
>Simple
>Half is random tales from all over the world trying to explain how shit works
>other half is over 10 people trying to narrate the same story about some gary stu hipster with a really edgy final story

>>135680139
It's a joke anon. A JOKE. You're retarded if you think anyone is taking this seriously.

>>135686227
That's why it's simple.

The random tales are too fantastic to be believable in real life, while the remainder is a power fantasy to wishfully self-insert into and interpret your way.

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>>135686204
>japan
>not jews themselves
Stop posting that pic pls

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>>135686290
Oh kek!

God the bible was so obnoxious with it's fujo shilling why does Jesus have a harem filled with 12 guys and no women?

>>135686120
Exactly, Jesus is a reality warper on a universal scale. I doubt Goku would be able to handle a simple cherub let alone a seraphim.
>>135680139
Read the Bible my friend you might learn something. During armegeddon God through Jesus and his angels will wipe out the wicked and imprison Satan and his demons for 1000 years until their final destruction.

>>135686276
anon, having 10+ different dudes narrate your life adventures is not simple at all

>>135679492
Here comes the featfags, fuck off jesus wins.

>>135679583
You forgot
>Goku also ressurects two days later

>>135686470
>no woman
Anon he fucks a hooker though all new testament till he dies, she even went to see her BF get nailed to the cross along with his mom

>>135686233
>can you keep up with me?

>>135679159
How can anyone even compete against the J.C.?

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>>135686902
>To beat J.C. requires another J.C.

>>135687065
None of those fucktards seem to have the same glorious beard JC has so he wins by default.

>>135687292
I don't know, having a falcon head puts Horus up there with J.C.'s grand beard.

Is there anyone in anime that could beat Jesus Christ? I'm not talking about Gospel of Matthew Jesus who walked on water. I'm not even talking about Acts of the Apostles Jesus who blinded Saul. I'm talking Revelations Jesus surrounded by 4 living creatures, seven angels, and 144,000 follower, with eyes like blazing fire and feet like bronze and a voice like raging water.

>>135686290
For more info on this search for "Japanese lost tribe of Israel"

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These are the type of people that His Holiness, Jesus Christ inspired
Just try and post people who Goku inspired.

>>135687460
Goku inspired minorities

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If Jesus was the Ted Neeley version I'd vote for him.
But book!Jesus is crap.

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>>135687384
Would Satan count if he was reborn a full demon and had both fallen angels and demons on his side?

Posting a Satan's father and mother because I can't find any pictures of the Satan himself in my DxD folder.

>>135687065
>>135686902

Horus>Jesus

>>135687065
I don't wanna worshipp no indian fagget.

>>135687594
>>135687594
no, jesus would beat his ass with a sword that came out of his mouth

>>135687366
A falcon head is pretty fucking cool.

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>>135679159
>jesus

>>135687744
Those are actually some pretty shit breasts.

>>135685762
Unless you're a fucking arian you can't say shit either.

>>135687744
How can I commit adultery if I have never been laid?

>>135685186
>Here is a question
>If jesus resurrected again right now What would be his 「Stand」?
FTFY

>>135687727
I don't recall that particular ability of Jesus.

He has the ability to resist temptation sure, but what about all those angels and followers?

>>135687896
Did you not read SBR.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7omLuB5lQE

Reminded me of Paradise Lost. Demons (Fallen Angels at that stage) and Angels waging war through heaven, epic battles all day everyday. Lucifer and his main guys were so powerful that their faction might very well win the war, even having only 1/3 of the heavenly beings on their side.

Then God goes "yeah I guess that's enough for a lesson, go there and put some order in the house Jesus my boy".

Jesus simply lifts his hand as if to dismiss the opponents and EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM is instantly obliterated and confined to the depths of Hell.

>>135687065
That image isn't true and is passed around as fact. Take a look up on Wikipedia or your source of factual information. Very few other deities have similarities with Christ. I'm not even a christfaggot, I just think like mythology.

>>135687744
Jesus was secretly telling us all that the way of the 2D is the way we need, you cant commit lustfull acts to 3DPD if you're already commited to 2D

>>135685968
Genesis, the story of Lot.

>And the firstborn said unto the younger, Our father is old, and there is not a man in the earth to come in unto us after the manner of all the earth:
>Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.
>And they made their father drink wine that night: and the firstborn went in, and lay with her father; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.
>And it came to pass on the morrow, that the firstborn said unto the younger, Behold, I lay yesternight with my father: let us make him drink wine this night also; and go thou in, and lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.
>And they made their father drink wine that night also: and the younger arose, and lay with him; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.
>Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father.

Watch this fight bitches https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HlLtgO1sqcg

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Hey guys? If you toss out the mysticism and read the Bible scouring for science fiction elements, it actually becomes really fucking interesting.

For example, how much evidence can you find that Jesus was actually an alien?

Well, let's see...
>The abnormally bright "star" in the east? The alien mothership in orbit.
>Immaculate conception? Artificial insemination.
>Power to heal the sick/blind/deaf/mute/crippled/demon possessed? Advanced medical technology.
>Prophetic abilities? Statistical analysis based on past behavior.
>Resurrection? Advanced medical technology.
>Departure? Alien teleportation technology.
>Teachings? The ideals of an advanced and peaceful off-world civilization free of conflict, boiled down into metaphors, hyperboles and parables for an ignorant, hostile and savage race of planetary inhabitants.
>Subsequent appearances (i.e. to Saul) ? Holographic projections.

The things Daniel and John talk about in their prophesies are really science fiction-y too, like the beast with four faces and many wheels that moves north, south, east and west without turning. The story about Satan leading a revolt against God with a 3rd of the angelic host and losing boils down to an interstellar civil war fought by the inhabitants of an ancient alien civilization called Heaven.

Your turn, /a/. Tell me why the "burning bush" appeared to be on fire but didn't burn up, and projected God's voice for Moses. Or how the angels at sodom struck the rapey faggots OUTSIDE the house blind while they were INSIDE.

>>135687795
and they're still better than yours bro

>>135688856
Woah woah woah calm down there this is a christian board.

>>135688912
I dunno I have a pretty good body

>>135685968
Genesis, cause it was before they even got to the promised land

Jesus isn't real so Goku wins by default

>>135688337
That's hot

>>135688337
>>135688989
What other unusual fetishes does the Bible mention?

I know Sodom and Gomorrah are technically the stand-in for any and all sort of non-standard sexual fetish, with some arguing from bestiality down to sodomy and homosexuality, but did we ever get any actual non-standard stuff besides the story of Lot?

Supposedly harems, depending on how you want to translate things, prostitution/slavery, and that's about all?

>>135688856
giorgio tsoukalos stop browsing /a/

But jesus is real and Goku isnt...

>this thread
I should at least read the Revelations.

>>135688856

I scoured the Bible for fap material like that part about Lot and his daughters.

>>135689343
Solomon had like a harem of 800 women.

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>>135689504
I only ever read Genesis and the last part of Revelations. And I only remember Revelations because I was obsessed with how awesome a title were the "4 Riders of the Apocalypse", as well as all the shit that goes down as the horn of end times sounded and the angels of heaven turn the earth into hell in order to purge the unclean and unfaithful.

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>>135689406
>jesus
>real

>>135689504
Read Genesis, if you like it, try finishing the whole Old Testament, its the best part of the bible
Skip the New Testament, just go straight to Revelations

>>135689811
I`d recommend to skip some parts of the Old Testament, a few books are just boring laws.

>>135689343
>There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
Does this count?

>>135689925
Could you name the filler so we can skip it?

>>135689963
I dont know how their name in english, just keep an eye when moses goes to the mount and speak to jesus. He has to write all that shit down

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>>135689811
>the best part of the bible

No way you would say that if you actually read it. Old Testament is boring as hell. Shit goes on for dozens of pages just meticulously describing alter decor and telling us how many cubits long some aprons should be.

>>135690010
ignore the how

>>135689956
That counts. I mean, surely she must have fucked an ass and a horse at least once to know how it feels. And there definitely were some bestiality brothels, where men and women went if they wanted a quick fuck or an extremely raunchy fuck.

>>135690010
You can say them in your own language, it aint hard to figure out bible titles stuff

>>135690039
I prefer to know all that shit then read about how big JC's dick was for the eleventh time
also all the Corinthians shit is boring as fuck

>>135690089
Levítico, Deuteronomio and Números if i recall correctly

>>135690261
So skip Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy
ok
You hue?

>>135690261
Don't you like God giving step-by-step instructions to Jews on what to do after ejaculating?

>>135679557
33 But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father who is in heaven.

34 Think not that I came to send peace on the earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.

35 For I came to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law:

36 and a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

at least post the verse before and a few after to get the whole picture, dont cherry pick.

>>135690376
no, weon

>>135687858
Thats why all Christians are normal people with normal dreams. Faggot

>Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him.
>But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves.


Moses knows how to take care of his soldiers

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>>135679159
>nostalgia fags and edgy fucking mexicans belives that Goku can beat our savior

>>135690597
Well, back then it was pretty normal to fuck kids, so I so i doubt there were enough little girls for all of his soldiers

>>135690665
>Mexicans
>siding with goku
You have never really been to Latin America right?

>>135690712
I don't know how big the army was, but they got 32,000 lolis. God took 32 of them for himself.

>>135690746
EDGY MEXICANS
You know that faggets who likes metal and that shit

>>135679159
the bible implies jesus has only achieved ssj 1 or 2 at most

>>135690196
Well the whole thing is pretty boring to be honest. Bible is one of the most shit tier books ever cobbled together.

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>>135689561
Did you read the story about A/m/non and Tamar? It's just like one of your incest/reipu animes, except Amnon was a total dick and wanted her to gtfo after he did the unthinkable, totally refused to take responsibility for his actions. Her brother Absolem killed him later though, so it all came out in the wash.

Song of Solomon is pretty ecchi, too.
Chapter 2, Verse 3.
>With great delight I sat in his shadow,
>and his fruit was sweet to my taste.
Translation:
>He fucked my face
>and I loved every second of it.

>>135690597
This was actually part of a quarantine, since the last time the Jews fought these people they sent out disease-riddled temple whores to seduce and infect the army, and given their religious and sexual practices, it wasn't safe to sleep with any non-virgins. And they killed the male children because they didn't want any Midianite Prince Vegetas growing up and avenging their people. Makes sense from a tactical standpoint.

>>135691080
Funny how the Bible is so boring and yet it is the most sold book in the history of mankind. It's so boring and it's still being sold in hundreds of different languages and versions around the world.

>bait thread
>240 replies

I hate current /a/. DBZ fags need to get the fuck out.

>>135691299
And wars are being waged around different interpretations of it. Just like the wars over which anime medium is better.

Some like the LN because more details and tells everything. Some like the manga because it condenses a few things. Some like the anime because it condenses even more. And even then, there's fights over which translation to use, in the case of a series getting two or more different translations.

>>135691408
dbz threads were fun when they were a thing that would happen every few months or so


on /v/

now everything is ruined

>>135691408
>not defending our lord and savior from the dbz fags
fucking heretic

>>135679159
Jesus.

>>135679492
You know technically according to that mythology he could have told "telepathically" the soldiers to slaughter each other and they would have done so.

>>135691299
>bandwagon falacy

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What about his holiness, the Flying Spaghetti Monster vs Goku?

Could Jesus kill servants?

>Jesus, an all powerful omnipotent and omniscient being, losing to anyone

The only reason he was killed was because he planned it and let it happen with no resistance. How can ANYTHING match that?

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>>135679159
Daily reminder

>>135694107
>God's chosen people
>killing their long-awaited messiah

Jews anyone?

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>>135686204

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>>135694025
So, was dying was part of the plan then?

>>135679159
Just play this game, anon
http://www.molleindustria.org/en/faith-fighter/

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>>135694306
>Of course.

Meme aside, the story goes that human beings are born into a state of sin. God requires death as payment for sin, and being human in body but God in essence, Jesus made good on that payment for anyone willing to accept it. Acceptance means eternal life.

This, however, I came to realize, is nothing more than going through life in denial, being okay with dying because you refuse to accept the temporal nature of life and invest all your stock in a second life which simply cannot be proven to exist. It is good to accept that life ends, but not at the expense of the here and now, feeling either free to act badly with impunity or wracked with guilt every hour of every day because you fear you're gonna be heaven's toilet scrubber every time you resent the guy who cuts you off in traffic.

>>135694105
>he who has seen me has seen the father
Don't have to, faggot.

>>135688856
>angel in sodom struck the people outside blind when they were inside

Starship phaser confirmed.

Could Jesus make so many fish and bread that even Goku couldn't eat it?

>>135679159
Jesus Converts Goku

DEUS VULT
AVE MARIA

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>>135690665

Before anything else, I think we can all agree that

Bible S1 > Bible S2.

Exodus arc was best arc. Moses was best MC.

>>135698942
Which sub group did you use?

I'm thinking of using New American but I heard that this sub group uses Commie tier memes.

>>135698964
King James is the only right answer.

The others might as well be gg and hadena tier.

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>>135687507
Top tippity kek.

Jesus Christ!!

>>135698975
>Not reading it in the original language, the way the author intended
Literally the plebbiest.

>>135679494
Jesus beat the shit out of those happy merchants at the temple.

>>135685487
Revelations are canon, they're in the bible.

>>135680279
Jesus is not a pacifist.

>>135698975
1492 Luther is better, but it's in German.

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>no anime where the conflict in the middle east eventually culminates in Yahweh and Allah duking it out DBZ style, and an Eva-styled Jesus vs Mohammed mindfuck as Jesus is reluctant to kill another holy spirit that claims peace

>>135700892
Yahweh is Allah.
Mohammed acceped Jesus as prophet.

>>135690746
fuck off anon, Mexicans (normie, shit taste tier, etc) almost sucks ''Koku'' dick 24/7, and not only Mex, Latam in general...and im fucking Mexican, maybe the only country with that exception is Brasil.

>>135698975
>King James
But anon, that is Duwang tiers of memesubbing

>>135682061
according to Christianity some of the verses in OT where it says "angel (which means messenger) of the lord" or "voice of the lord" are supposed to be read and interpreted as Jesus. Like the shining light that saves Daniel from the furnace. Or so I've heard from a couple of different sources.

>>135679159
Come on OP, Jesus is supposed to be omnipotent, no way this is a fair fight.

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I've been planning to kill myself today, but then I saw this thread and remembered why I love you guys

Jesus is a fucking meme character, stop fucking posting it everywhere

there's like ten Jesus fanclubs in my town where you can go if you want to talk about him, but ZERO places where I can talk about the much more mature themes of Dragonball

>>135702377
>Implying you can talk about Jesus on those places

They are worse than anime clubs, you go there and some fucker in cosplay vomits his shitty interpretation onto you, and you have to just accept that his interpretation is better than yours

>>135679354
>Genkidama!
Genkidama wouldn't even work on Jesus.

>>135687065
Dude, how many times is this picture going to be posted before people realize that this shit has been debunked a billion times! Take Krishna for example, he was the 8th child, so his mother was in no way a virgin. He was not resurrected in anyway similar to JC, and had no need to be since he had performed what he was incarnated to do as an avatar of Vishnu.
Take Horus, he was not born 25th of December (because the bloody damn Egyptians didn't use the calendar we use today) and neither was Jesus, as a matter of fact, even if Horus was born the 25th of December, it still wouldn't mean anything because nowhere in NT is it stated that Jesus was born that day. Horus was born from a union between Isis and Osiris, so his mother was not a virgin, and he was a teacher of 16 sages (not 12 disciples). Mithra was born of a cliff and didn't have a single disciple.
Did you know that there are prizes that can be won if you can show where in the ancient scriptures any of these claims about Horus, Attis, Mithra, Krishna, Dionysus are made. No one has been able to claim those prizes for obvious reasons.

>>135687744
Jokes on you onii-chan, I fapped so many times that I can barely feel my scrotum anymore. No lust here.

Jokes aside, that picture clearly shows that whoever made it had no idea what Jesus was saying. Here's what Matthew g:27-30 means.

https://www.biblegateway.com/resources/commentaries/IVP-NT/Matt/Do-Not-Covet-Others-Sexually

>>135679492
Actually he got a death power up because of roman soldiers

>>135679159
dude New Testament Jesus was lame.
he was much more badass in the Old Testaments foreshadows

>>135679492
/thread

induring christfags crying about how OP goku would be in real life

>>135688856
Ancient aliens please go. Maybe it's the other way around, maybe aliens are the demons pretending to be aliens. And when mankind becomes curious of their teachings (hoping for advanced tech and philosophies) they end up being deceived. After all, the bible does mention how many will fall away from the faith during the end times, and that there will be deceiving spirits ready to lead these people even further astray.

After all, why would an advanced civilization travel countless light years just to talk to some uneducated plebs and then leave. We all know demons got nothing better to do than to lie and deceive, so it's more likely that aliens are actually demons, rather than the things of the bible to be made/done by aliens.

>>135679404
Jesus would literally drink your blood after that fight

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Jew here
Ajimu Najimi would wreak the shit out of Jesus by using her plothax powers.

>>135703177

His power is over 6.000.000

>>135701010

This, 10/10 reply.

Where's episode 26

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No. Fucking. Chance.

>>135679159
Depends on how you define winning.
In this case I'd say Goku for sure because Jesus would never attack.

>>135703370
>people are still watching this crap

Face it already, Jesus really went downhill after that ridiculous asspull at the end of S1. Fucking "back from the dead"? Way to suck all the tension out of the series.

Only nostalgiafags still care about it.

>>135679638
Nah

>>135679354
Jesus doesn't exist, thus he can't win.

>>135685911
>eva
>not making sense
Stick to your SOL

>>135689504
the Revelations trying too hard to be mindfuck genre tbqh

the fuck was John smocking back thene

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>>135704597
>Reading that piece of shit after Jesus' birth

>>135704886
[TIPPING INTENSIFIES]

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>>135679159

Just how FUCKING long is Jesus gonna be on his training timeskip? It feels like we've been waiting for AGES.

This shitty filler in the meantime has been really boring. They introduce like a million "saints", all of whom are supposed to be capable of doing miracles (Wow, way to make it not special, by the way. It was cool when only Jesus could do it ) but then they barely ever use it.

When are we gonna get some canon material?

>Guts got off the boat
>before Jesus came back

this is fucking suffering
I wonder how many fans died waiting for the series to come back

>>135705132
Reformation/Counter-reformation arc was great
That 30-year war

>>135705132

Read the fucking Book of Revelation you rl only fag.

Is Jesus a gay? He doesn't seems to have interest in women. Legit question here

>>135705264
Is your mom a gay? She doesn't seems to have interest in women. Legit question here

>>135705264
shippers leave, this is supposed to be about the adventure

>>135705264
He had a harem.

Mary Magdalene is mentioned as one of three Marys "who always walked with the Lord" and as his companion (Philip 59.6-11)

>>135679492
And Goku died to a heart disease. He lost to fucking high cholesterol. What's your point?

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>>135686290

>>135705264
He either wanted to or did fuck John.
>The disciple Jesus loved most
It's not even subtle I don't know how more people don't pick up on it.

>>135679492
It was to use the Zenkai

>>135705599
I-it all makes sense now!

religion is the biggest meme ever created

>>135706433
That would be atheism.

>>135705857
C-can someone made Jesus X John artwork, please? I feel sinful but curious at the same time right now

>>135706692
If it counts in the Last Supper, Da Vinci drew John as a trap he's commonly mistaken as Mary Magdalene.

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>>135706784
>>135706692
Sauce

>>135679492
Jesus can revive himself without any balls. Goku dies all the time.

>>135679159
>jesus
>fighting

He would convince Goku fighting is wrong and join his side.

>>135707106
No, we are not talking about Ninja Jesus

This thread is up after 18hours, sasuga mods.

>>135707199
And on the 18th hour it was revived from the last page. Blessed be moot.

>this thread
>some satire some ridicule
>actually makes me want to read my bible and become fully devoted
wow. probably the most useful thing you've ever done /a/, you've converted me.

but I got to say this is probably by far the most weirdest thread ever made on /a/.

>>135707345
Did you think that we were fucking kidding whenever we say that /a/ is a christian imageboard?

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>>135682575

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>>135708211

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> has the power of levitation, flight, walking through matter, going to countless worlds beyond this one, able to multiply into thousands of tulpas of himself
> defeated armies of demons from Mara by turning their weapons and mountains they threw at him into flowers
> transcended the realms of samsara meaning he's above not only demons but also gods such as whis and beerus

>>135708377

Man, Buddha would neutralize Goku, Beerus and Whis without even moving a finger

War is best girl

>>135679942
[autism intensifies]

>>135680329
I'd say kill yourself, but I won't tempt you to sin

>>135679942

Jesus lowered his god ki so puny roman weapons could hurt him

>>135686290
WE WUZ HEBREWS

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>>135686290
So does that mean they pranked Hitler into unknowingly allying with them?

>>135711231
Now that'd be the greatest twist.

>>135711231
Holly shit

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>>135679354
Even if jesus could turn a kamehameha into fish flood the sheir kinetic impact of the fish bombarding jesus would destroy his body even with jesus's holy cloak of protection on

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You guys have to understand that Jesus came stronger than ever and opened the gates of heaven when just roman soldiers killed him and that when people sold stuff outside the church Jesus got mad as fuck.
So what do you think will happens when blasphemous guy calls himself Super Saiyan GOD comes around? Sure Gou can kill him but Jesus can resurrect without Dragon Balls, its just an endurance test desu sempais.

>>135705004
the upside down lion has the higher ground.

Any more dirty stories from the bible?

>>135679839
He can't breathe in space

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>>135689632

>>135705004
Was the lion born in the upside down world?
If not I feel the upside down lion would be at a severe disadvantage.

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>>135689632
>anon doesn't know about historical Jesus

>>135707345
Bible reading is pretty fun, loads of killing and fucking in the old testament

It will also surprize you friends and family when eventually quote something from it

>>135687065
Now comes the part where you post the graph that shows the hole in science left by the Christian "Dark" Ages.

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>>135711231
Hitler-sama trusted the Japs and even made them honorary Aryans. That's some fucked up shit.

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>>135716305
But I don't have that one.

I do have Budda vs Jesus though.

>>135716535

They played him like a damn fiddle

>>135690665
>>135703679
Bumping facts.

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Tag Team Match

Jesus and Godoka
vs
Saitama and Goku