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Shittiest, edgiest, sincere creepypasta I have ever read

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I saw this piece of shit a while back and forgot about it, and then I found it again. I felt the need to share it with you guys for a quick cringe/chuckle.
>here we go, I present to you "The Crying Corpse"
"Come on, get up!" a feminine voice yelled through the pillow covering Shadow's head. "Shadow M. Swarthout, if you don't get up you'll be late for the bus, and on the first day of school too!" she said.

"Mom, you already know how I feel about that, school is an overrated excuse for kids to go to a place where they can get bullied and beat up." Shadow replied groggily. "Besides, the bus doesn't get here for another 30 minutes". With that, Shadow lazily sat up and let the pillow fall off of his head and let his silky black hair fall over his chocolate brown eyes. As his vision cleared, the blurry image of his mom with her hands on her hips fazed into view.

"Well all I'm saying is you better not miss it, they changed the schedule at work and I can't drive you if you miss it," she said. "Now I'll be leaving in 15 minutes and then you're off on your own," she continued. She then left the room, which left Shadow sitting in bed; sleepy, and confused.

After an hour-long trip, he arrived to school semi-awake and ready to half-ass through the school day. Walking to his locker, he stumbled and tripped, knocking into a rather large, well built kid. Shadow looked up to see the kid. He was definitely a Junior or Senior.

"Watch where you're going dickweed," the large kid said.

At this point, Shadow thought up two options. Number one, he could punch the kid and start a fight. Number two, just chicken out and walk away.

"Sorry, won't happen again." Shadow wasn't in the frame of mind nor the mood to deal with this, so he took the safe way out.

"Yeah that's right, run away," the larger kid sneered.

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Shadow snapped. He turned around and flew forward with a right hook to the jaw. The big kid dropped, but to Shadow's surprise, popped back up and swung a fist. Shadow sidestepped this attempt, grabbed his wrist, and twisted, hard. He heard a snap and a yelp and with that, dropped the kid and started walking away.

His vision exploded into stars and he dropped to the floor. He turned and looked up to see the kid holding brass knuckles in his hands. Shadow smiled a crooked, untimely smile. "Now it gets interesting" Shadow thought.

He stumbled to his feet and round-housed the kid in the chest. The kid flew back and hit a pillar behind him and crumpled to a heap on the ground. By now, people were grouped around with their phones and cameras, snapping photos and videotaping. Shadow's smile widened.

He walked up to the kid, slipped off the knuckles, and slipped them back on his own hands. With that, he threw back his arm, and came down with a crushing move and connected to the kids cheek.


Another bone broke. He didn't care. He then repeatedly threw punches at the kid until there wasn't much left of him. Then, adult-like hands grabbed him and pulled him back. He just backed down, and smiled that awkward smile.

Shadow got suspended for five days and the other kid was hospitalized for 7 days.

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>Five days post-fight
Shadow awoke again to the sound of his alarm clock going off. He slammed his fist down onto the clock and switched the clock off. He got dressed and ready for school and walked out the door. While walking to the bus stop, he was unaware of his watchers. Soon he became slightly wary of the fact that someone was following him. At that moment, a hooded figure walked out of the shadows,

"Your name Shadow?" the shady figure asked. Shadow stood there and did not reply. He saw two men come out of the darkness behind the first, armed with crowbars. Shadow dropped his bag, and took off running. He wasn't sure if they were keeping up and didn't care to turn, for fear of slowing down.

Suddenly, he hit what felt like was a brick wall and fell. After a couple of seconds, the men caught up, and Shadow looked forward to see that he had ran into a very large man. No sooner had he looked, his mouth was covered with a rag covered in fluid. Shadow blacked out.

Shadow awoke in a dark room with one spotlight blinding his view of his surroundings. He wasn't sure where he was, just that he was strapped to a vertical table.

"Welcome, Shadow. My name is Don Lee, father of the kid you put into the hospital five days back," a shady voice said. "You're a tough noodle to get alone, but we knew the bus stop would be perfect." Shadow squirmed around, attempting to pull free of the straps. This was futile of course, but Shadow felt as if to express his discomfort.

"There's no need. We've got you down nice and snug," said the voice. Don Lee then stepped into full view of Shadow. A very tall man with black hair and soulless, black eyes that you couldn't look directly into.

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"Since you put my boy in the hospital, I think I'll repay the favor for him," Don said. With that, he pulled what appeared to be pliers from a small table to the left of the room. He then proceeded to pull out the fingernails out of Shadow's skin slowly and painfully. He next proceeded to the toenails. After hours of torture, Don Lee finished his tortures, leaving Shadow bloody and unrecognizable.

"One last thing," Lee said. "I have this new toy that I want to try out on you." That's all that he said. Two men came up to Shadow and pulled his eyelids open, forcing him to watch as a hot, painful, strange, and grey liquid was poured in his eyes for his last sight. Then, they proceeded to pour the rest on his face for it to solidify.

The last sight of Shadow was a grueling image of a kid in a black hoodie and black pants with a strange substances pouring out of the eyes of what appeared to be a mask on his face, which made him appear to be crying. Shadow was hung out on a streetlight for the whole town to see, though he was quickly brought down and covered by the authorities.

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>Five months later
Don Lee and his family were sitting on the couch in the living room of his mansion watching TV, when the power went out. The back up generator kicked in about a minute later, and his wife screamed to the terrifying sight of her husband. He hung from the chandelier with liquid dripping out of those black eyes and a grey mask covering his face.

Throughout the rest of the week, more power-outages occurred in the town around those major mob areas, always ending in the death of a major family member. This murder has been appropriately labeled, "The Crying Corpse". A survivor of these power-outages reported seeing a boy crying a strange liquid and wearing a mask both similar to what the victim ended up looking like.

Bravo anon.

Made me laff 10/1p
Where did you get this shit? Is this satire or did some retard actually think this is fit for posting?
God, we really were cringey retards in middle school. I can see 12 year old me thinking this is cool as fuck.
ahaha i found it


cpw is such a dump lol
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>an overrated excuse for kids to go to a place where they can get bullied and beat up
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>mfw the comments
>it's a lot better than most of the garbage on this wiki
what the fuck happened to that website
why are they praising a fucking shadow the hedgehog goes to school creepypasta
BTFO Jeff the Killer, there's a new awesome killer in town.
>Considering the kind of kid Shadow seems to be, that type of speech seems natural to me. That's how I'd say it.
How about we call bad/sarcastic creepypasta, "Crappypasta"?
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But how did they all went missing?
>I didn't even have time to eat my fries

Best line from a great read
>My friend Alistair, who is one of the cool kids, and me were sitting on the couch in my mom's basement watching torture porn one day.
> And I was like ," you know that haunted house that everybody says is haunted down by the middle school?
> Well I totally banged a girl there the other night, but it turned out to be the scariest night of my life."
>He was like "no you fucking didn't. Shut up you fucking liar. What happened though?"
> I didn't want to say because I was feeling totally PTSD from it and now he triggered me.
> He threw a glass of water in my face and then smacked me and told me to stop crying like a little bitch.
> I felt somewhat better, cause I know he doesn't really mean it, he just says things like that sometimes.
> So then he gently pressured me to tell him "what happened?"
> I began by telling him my story.
> I took Lacy Jargonsen down to that haunted house as you know.
> She was all horned up and dared me to touch her tits and vagina.
> I touched her right in the tit, it was hot. Then I touched her cooter and she was like, "do it to me in the butt" and I was so into it.
>So we were totally doing it, in the butt, on the floor in front of the kitchen sink.
> She was moaning and groaning saying , "yeah do that butt"
> all of a sudden the sink made a loud gurgling noise.
>It startled me and I totally came on accident.
>Lacy got real mad and said, "bro did you seriously just come in my butthole?"
>I was ashamed so I lied, "no".
>She didn't believe me and pulled her pants up and left.
Cont. 1/3
> I was embarrassed and mad so I looked in the sink to see wtf just happened to make that loud gurgling noise.
> This time after it gurgled it shot water right into my eye.
>It was sticky like jizz.
> And then I realized the house just came on me.
>I was traumatized but I couldn't move.
>What should I do?
> Now I knew how Lacy felt.
> I wiped it off with a rug that was on the floor where we had been doing it.
>I couldn't believe that the house had just given me an angry pirate.
>I screamed "argh" and "why"?
>I pulled up my pants but before I put my dick away I rubbed one out in the sink and screamed "how do you like that bitch?!"
>Then I stormed out angrily.
>The next day I felt strange and drawn back to the house.
>I don't know why but I felt like I had to go back in and do it to the sink again.
>I was really abusive with my language just like Alistair is to me sometimes when he gets upset or when I say something stupid, but unlike him, I really meant it.
>I started to do it every day, it was like I really wanted to get revenge or something.
Contd. 2/3
> After Alistair made me tell him my story, I could tell he thought I was just being stupid as usual.
> He said he wanted to see this so called haunted sink.
>So I took him there.
>I never expected what came next.
>Alistair jumped up on the cabinet and stuck his dick in the drainhole, and shouted "take it all you dirty sinkhole!" as he began to thrust roughly
>Then suddenly he began to scream like somebody getting fucked in the butthole but who wasn't used to it yet and didn't get lubed up enough.
> I was so scared.
> He reached out toward me but I just laughed insanely
>I said "this is what you get you stupid twat for sticking your dick in a sinkhole"
> then I ran away laughing insanely.
>When his parents called the police they looked for him everywhere even at the haunted house.
>Nobody ever knew we were friends so they didn't even ask me if I knew anything
>They have never found his body to this day.
anyone has the newspaper LA NEWS someone made to this? it was fucking comedy gold
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>I hope someone would this mystery anytime soon... and who is the strange figure?
Every fucking time
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>sitting on the couch in my mom's basement watching torture porn one day
first line and I already know I'm in for a real fucking treat
Thread posts: 24
Thread images: 10

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