GUYS, BIG BOSS AND MILLER ARE FIGHTING IN THE SHOWERS AGAIN
>we're not even anywhere close to TPP
>we'll get it Q4 this year if we're lucky
I want to chill in my mother base already.
The hell are you two talking about and why aren't you on Intel?
Wait, Big Boss! This is my only job! There must be something you can do! Add more positions, replace another guy, put me in another position!! I have a C in Cooking...and a B in R&D! A B! Please reconsider terminating me!
This is the best job I've ever had. I want to work for MSF. Big Boss, please don't send me away...
I wouldn't, whenever he even see's us fighting he always gets all fucking philosophical. Last time I had a friendly brawl with my soldier he took my fucking knife and stabbed himself with it.
I can only imagine what he'd do if someone tried to fight him
>got knocked the fuck out and kidnapped
>fultoned to this rig in the middle of the ocean
>ended up in sickbay with 2 broken ribs and a collapsed lung
>"should I beat the ass of the guy who killed The Boss?"
LOL! Get back to patrol, Johnny. You ain't fooling anyone.
Absolutely, dude. It'd be the bomb.
Hey guys, want to join a real army?
Come on, I'll be your best friend.
Guys, we need to do something about all these armour vehicles. The attack choppers are fine, but we've almost crashed our cargo helicopter 5 times now carrying those fucking tanks to each warzone, only for Zeke to take out the entire enemy battalion by itself anyway. What's the point of these things?
It took us 2 weeks to paint all of Mother Base orange, then Boss decides to change his mind and wants it PINK!
At least we have the intel strut done.
The fuck is a "big shell"? That some kinda codename or something?
Kojima? You mean that guy on the intel team?
He is kinda weird. I wonder why Boss and Miller like him so much?
That guy handled himself pretty well on that cassette tape retrieval. Boss and Commander Miller saw the whole thing.
Hey guys any know what the fuck kaz is singing, for the party?
Also how the hell does paz know moon speak?
Yo kojima get your twink ass over here and tell us what the song is about.
Every day this fucking asshole on top of C section throws a damn smoke grenade at the people below and then pisses down all over the place
those anyone knows who is this fucking shit so we can beat his lights out?
I know it is one of the guards from C Block.
Uh guys, Strut-F here. Shits on fire yo.
>Kitchen to Acquisitions, we are out of tendies. I repeat WE ARE ALL OUT OF TENDIES.
>Boss! It's getting crowded over there, I-
Guys, I don't want to bust the culinary squad's balls. They do good work. But I'm so fucking sick of curry. Costa Rica and Nicaragua are right over there. Surely we can go for a nice fruit salad or something for once. Someone keeps a single banana in the armoury, but I'm afraid to eat it in case it's really a grenade or something.
And what's with the lack of coffee?! I like mate and all, but it's right there. SURELY we could buy a sack?
Any of you think it's pretty fucking weird that Big Boss' voice changed from this cool sounding dude to a guy who doesn't talk much at all and slurs all his lines? How is that even possible for a guy's voice to change overnight?
Doesn't really sound like the Snake I know, what the fuck is up with that?
Nah, I think he's just socially retarded
He tends to repeat what you're saying then gets all sweaty.
Then he just calls Miller on the radio for some "box time" or some shit like that.
No. Fuck you. Boss tried to pull this one on me too. South America is lush and dense and all, but there's no way you're making me believe there's a dinosaur or dragon or whatever on the islands. That's retarded.
Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to paint our mech hot pink and attach the booster rockets.
H-hey guys, whatcha talking about?
Dude the guy is a super old, super soldier or something, he has seen some shit. It is the same with all veterans, there is something odd on how they talk, for example this guy Ze..ahem.
Anyhow, the guy took one too many missiles to the head, so be respectful son.
Seconded, thirded and infinited.
I put that on from the moment I get up to the moment I go to bed.
Sometimes on my downtime when I'm not on a mission.
Oh, and I'm heading out. I'll brb, gotta go grab two little rascals at some detention camp in Cuba.
Lemme know how the inspection went...
>Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake
>Metal Gear Solid
>Metal Gear Solid: VR Missions
>Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty
>Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater
>Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots
>Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker
>Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake
>Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty
>Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater
>Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker
HD doesn't have MGS4, so you should get this one.
Legacy, it has extra stuff
Now get back on to Intel soldier, Boss' asking us to send another love box again
Uhh guys? I found this weird long pillow outside Ocelot's quarters while I was on cleaning duty and it smells kinda funny. What do? Should we tell the Boss?
Nigga, I will fight all of you.
>tfw Alligator stole my Mate drink and Curry Paz made for me before being dispatched
Mother fucker now all i get to eat is month old rations till we stock up on more food. I hope he gets jobbed good during the mission
post yfw running around customizable Mother Base in MGSV
Nah that's just the new guy, Raiden. Apparently he's some Cyborg from the future, he's just training on the deck again.
>Running around customized Mother Base
>Have zoo filled with menagiere of goats
>Have staff filled with Russians and Africans that bend to your will
>They all salute you as you walk past them, ignoring the fact you mercilessly murdered their friends in front of their eyes
FUCK. Forgot the track
>not kidnapping guard pairs
>not terminating the lower rank and fluffing it as the stronger one being forced to throw the weaker one off of mother base while the rest of the MSF chants "One of Us!"
Son please do you even initiation
Hey boys, can I join your MFF thing? Girls can be sneaky too xD
Stop mumbling weird stuff in your sleep, Paz.
Not with the way YOU walk.
>mfw imagining flying in with this playing on the loudspeaker
>remember it wasn't out in '84
This is suffering.
What the fuck is wrong with your boss?!
I was minding my own business, guarding this jungle area, when your idiot of a boss knocked me out and strapped me to a balloon.
I wake up in this shitty secret clubhouse and I realize that I can't return to that work ever again. They're gonna think I've defected! I need that salary for fucks sake! It was a comfy job!
And to make matters worse, your nitwit boss takes one look at me, goes "well, you're a decent fighter, but we're pretty much filled up with better fighters than you" and then he tells me to leave!
And go where?! You're the one who kidnapped me and now you're just throwing me out again because I don't live up to your expectations?
You guys suck!
What the hell are you talking about?
Mmm, sorry. Too much of that "e-cigar" Huey gave me.
Any of you guys seen that movie that made about the boss when he fought in Russia during the cold war? I thought it was pretty good.
>Hornet cracks wise about Raiden's heels (because cracking wise is the only thing he's good at)
>turns into a wager that four people can't pin him to the ground
I can't believe I lost so much booze on that metal bastard. Where do I sign up for robot arms?
Nah not a time machine. Hideo was mentioning something about stars and Schrodinger's cat a few days ago for the reason behind Raiden being here.
Anyone else find Raiden a little...odd? He looks like something out of those old Astro Boy cartoons.
I'm no rookie, i'm a ten year vet!... but I still can't shake these problems with my stomach...
Is anyone else having stomach trouble?
...Oh no not again... gotta go guys!
It happened when we got the sauna. Nothing has gone right ever since we got the sauna.
Why do we have a sauna?
>Astro Boy cartoons
That stuff's for kids. You should be reading Cyborg Ninjas, it'll put hair on your chest.
Hey, I overheard the R&D folks talk. Apparently they've come up with a new way of knocking out enemy troops.
I'm not sure why, but apparently it'll result in a lot of us getting fired.
BOSS? WHERE? WH-
>tfw every night I always hear the moanings of Cecile and Amanda from the room of Big Boss
I can't fucking sleep.
Guys, listen up. I'm about to blow your minds.
Have any of you heard of the Roswell UFO crash? I read this book recently that gave really good evidence that, well, what could only be described as a flying saucer crashed in the desert. The US government covered it up, said it was a weather balloon (as if they know anything about balloons), but some guys recently went through the original reports and found out that everyone was reporting it to be some sort of strange metallic object with bizarre writing all over it. And get this; some people think the military found BODIES. God damn aliens man! It sounds like some crappy b-movie, but man, don't you think it's weird that we've been seeing all this insanely advanced technology since the Cold War started?
Guys....I think the R&D team has been reverse engineering alien technology. Not that they've actually seen the aliens, but well, a lot of them are ex-CIA and if anybody has access to secret schematics, it's them. I mean, that stealth gun is ridiculous. There isn't a single thing like it on the planet. They HAVE to have stolen those documents from the top secret files at the CIA's HQs. I'm pretty sure Crysalis used UFO technology to fly. It's the only logical answer. And, I'm worried we're going to be in some serious shit for using it.
But you didn't hear that from me.
Hey guys I bought this while on a mission in Japland, what am I in for?
Yep. Wheels accidentally put in a huge order for these with acquisitions and now we have an entire strut stacked with copies of them. The free stuff was nice at least.
Everyone in R&D is super happy about it though, so the Comandante is as well. Apparently a lot of these designs are adaptable into tech we can all use in the field. Don't know about some of it though. Issues 3 and 4 get kind of out there and a lot of the men aren't reading them because they think they're cursed.
Hi guys, I had this weird dream last night.
Let me tell you about the absolute worst, most sickening nightmare I ever had. This isn't one for the kids. OK, so there's this big pile of crap, right? It's shaped like a giant tank and it's walking around on two legs, goin' on a rampage and stompin' on people and houses and stuff. And this giant turd is carrying the nastiest missiles you ever saw. Like, whenever it launches one of its turd missiles... whatever it hits - people, trees, buildings - turns into shit. My hometown, my old school, my family, my girlfriend, old man John... Everything in that turd's path turned into shit.
Good thing it was just a dream, huh?
>Good thing it was just a dream, huh?
I have some bad news from the Intel Team... take a look for yourself.
Hello msf, just here for a little inspection, please don't mind me
Not this shit again.
>Dream of cooking for everyone at MB
>Sent to I+D instead
I saw Ocelot at the firing range today. He was shooting those old revolvers from the hip and nailing every target dead on, it looks fucking awesome.
I think I'm gonna try that next time we're all practicing.
Atheist? Nah, he's just a Republican.
Guys, I just had a great idea. One of the Intel Team cliques got over how I screwed them out of some cigarettes and gave me Big Boss's exact birthday. It's coming up in May!
Anyway, this chick told me that there's nothing he loves more than surprises. So on the fifth, when the Boss is running alert drills in Strut A, she's going to lock down an access corridor with him in it and blast the alarms on full volume so that me and whoever else is up for it can surprise the fella with a big group sneak hug!
Who's with me?
that a long story, but to cut it short, This skull is who I am, my mark, my proof of humanity. I have no country, no language, no face - but I haven't lost my skull.
Btw could you lead me to ......the scientist located
No need to worry, me and your boss go way back.
Oh come on man what's the worst that could happen? It's not like mother base will blow up or anything and besides the guy just said they're old pals, he's just probably wants to have a couple of cold ones with the boss
Uugh, Huey, all that guy talks about is his love of swimming pools and incest cuckold porn. On the bright side, he did once tell me that he'd kill himself if he ever found out his son was a weeb though.
Most days, when I'm off duty, I look out at the ocean. It doesn't feel beautiful, not even at sunset, it just sucks my mind in.
I was happy when Boss recruited me. I was tired of the CIA. I was sick of being shepherded around Korea and South America, taking more and more land from people who had no way to even defend it. I listened to people get tortured, watched my comrades string up the bodies on trees to scare off any remaining guerillas. I did patrol after patrol, barely fighting anyone. My dad fought Nazis, and here I was, being nothing but a dog for a country that didn't care about me. They stopped caring about us a long time ago. All they care about is how much we can make for them.
So when Boss came along, I was thrilled. Finally, some adventure, you know? I'd heard stories about him; the greatest American soldier, turning his back on his country and fighting on his own terms. Sure, there's nothing patriotic about it, but what's patriotic at all any more? At least he was heroic, at least he had honour. I felt great fighting by his side. The world felt colourful again, my life was at risk, there was something to lose!
But now, I'm not so sure. My dad, and the Allies, were heroes. But what are we? No matter how far I run from my country, the entire world seems to be under it's or Russia's grip, all fighting for meaningless things that benefit only a few. Is this what my life is to be? Fighting only to fight? No enemies but ourselves?
It's started to get to me. I lose track of time here. I'm not sure if it's still the 70s or the 80s. People here act so cartoonish, but the world is getting darker and things feel too real all of a sudden. I think it's effecting the Boss too. I think he's been drinking in private. His voice doesn't boost me and he sounds drunk and tired if he speaks at all. I don't feel like a good guy any more.
I keep thinking the roar of the ocean is the roar of some primal beast and I want it to eat me.
Nah, you know how kids are. If anything, we should be thankful she's not scarred by war and still has a healthy imagination.
And as for Chico, well, it's a good thing Paz wants to keep her distance. I'm pretty sure Chico is a lesbian and has been coming on to Paz, shit's just weird man.
L.E.T genetics labs here. Just spitballing here but does anyone happen to have samples of Big Boss's hair, semen, blood, skin cells and bone marrow lying around? I'd like to borrow them for a... project.
That half-and-half nip is probably the one who brought those screwy slanteye boxing comics back from 'Japland'
What the hell do they know about boxing anyway?
Yeah, but he only talks about her. I heard he did all kinds of crazy stuff over in that jungle, I mean, he fought a giant bee, his grandpa and an astronaut! But no, it's always Boss this, Boss that.
TIME FOR A TASTE TEST
Hey guys, what are you going as for the Halloween party? I'm going as Christopher Lee. Do you think Boss will like it?
Guys I found this picture while I was sweeping up deck. What does it mean?
WERE IS ZERO, WERE IS CIPHER?
No idea, I think they are just a bunch of weirdos with a weird obssesion about BB. For example this woman is always talking about movies and he wants to see BB naked and take some kind of sample, another dude it's always talking about James Bond and AI, and he sounds like Michael Caine. they are always looking to talk with Kaz or BB.
The Boss was a slut and a failure. She betrayed her country and nearly let a madman destroy the world.
Her son is also a failure and will never amount to anything.
Cipher was right.
So, what? Does the Boss need her last boytoy to defend her name?
Come at me, faggots.
I don't know who you're confusing me for, but I'm pretty sure Ocelot is the one in love with Big Boss.
Why does Big Boss get to have a pet?
My pet salamander got taken away from me by customs. How did BB sneak a fucking wolf onto Mother Base?
Are any of you tired of Big Boss' guidance?
I mean, he just randomly toss us in his battles, we don't think we want fight, we just fight for money.
We should fight for an ideal! We should be allowed to fight our own causes where and when we want, just let us prevail like nature teaches.
Just vote for me, Steven Armstrong, to be the new MSF leader.