ITT shit tier openings
will it bomb, guys?
Post your favorite movie unironically
>The Bachelorette 2017 australia is a 37 year old post-wall roastie whore with extensive plastic surgery
We are supposed to believe uber chads in their late 20's/early 30's are supposed to compete to marry this?
>movies with liberal values getting artificially higher ratings because the critic is "down with the cause"
>Rotten Tomatoes is filled with critics who will give any "progressive movie" a fresh score.
>Every movie with neutral, indifferent or conservative values gets the full brunt of the critic's critical response
>Despite Liberals being the minority throughout the world, the overwhelming majority of film critics are liberal.
>If publications wanted to be objective and balanced, they would hire 1 fulltime Liberal film critic and 1 fulltime Conservative critic and make them publish their reviews simultaneously, but of course this doesn't happen.
Any Conservative film critics other than this gay black man?
We need more Conservative film critics if we are to be more objective about rating movies.
DUDE PEOPLE SUCK LMAO
Best torrent month in a long time
Which show is more Reddit?
i got you, senpai
Before I decide to accept your request, I would very much like your permission to fuck your mom. And I do mean, meet up with her, have a nice italian dinner with her, walk with her by the beach at sunset, take her to see a horrible romantic comedy, go to the petting zoo and whisper sweet nothings in her ear, take her back to her place, I walk into her room and she puts on some nice, revealing lingere, and we proceed to fuck.
I promise I am a well in-tuned, down to earth guy, I have no malicious intent. If she turns me down, then I will happily kill myself because I am a sportsman and I know when I am beat. But if I do get your permission and if she does accept me, then the result will be that I may end up being your new father. Which means, I will relinquish custody of you and send your Xbox playing bitch ass to whatever qualifies as a boarding school in Australia, meanwhile I'm making the neighbors listen to your mother scream for more of my meat as I'm hitting it from the back
But like I said, if she turns me down, then I'll be fair to your request. Otherwise, my previous statement is clear.
Hoping to hear/read from you soon, my future son.
Would you worry a lot about her if she was your daughter?
>Disney buys Games Workshop Plans R-Rated Warhammer-verse Films
Get ready for nu(male)marines, fem-marines, slaanesh being forgotten and sexual deviancy normalized, imperial cult being a bad thing, female imperial leaders etc.
what the fuck i hate germany!
this is 100% what happened, after that they made lampshades and sopa out of that old guy too! It's what my grandfather confirms, he was at auschwitz and witnessed how everyone but him was killed (he was a lucky chosen one)
pure animal quinoa
PUT THAT PEPE DOWN. Pepe's for closers only.
You think I'm fucking with you? I am not fucking with you.I'm here from /s4s/. I'm here from /b/. And I'm here on a mission of mercy. Your name's Anon? You call yourself a shitposter you son of a bitch?
>I don't gotta sit here and listen to this shit.
You certainly don't pal, 'cause the good news is - you're banned. Oh? Have I got your attention now? Good. Cause we're adding a little something to this month's shitposting contest. As you all know first prize is a year's worth of Brendan Fraser's alimony. Anyone wanna see second prize? Second prize is a set of 4chan gold passes. Third prize is you're banned. Get the picture? You laughing now? You got memes. You can't close the memes you're given you can't close shit. You ARE shit. Hit the bricks, pal, and beat it 'cause you are going OUT.
>The memes are weak!
The memes are weak? The fuckin' memes are weak? YOU'RE weak. I've been baneposting FIFTEEN YEARS.
>What's your name?
FOR YOU! THAT'S my name!
Big Guy? I don't give a shit. Cuck poster? FUCK YOU! Go home and play with your wife's kids. You hear me, you fucking faggots?
You know what it takes to shitpost on /tv/? It takes brass balls.
Since everyone here is an arm chair critic.
Rewrite TFA and provide ideas for the next two movies into something good if not genius kino.
Condition: The films must still make billions of dollars excluding any toy or licensing sales.
RLM had a better basic concept.
New Republic is comfy and getting decadent. In order to guarantee their safety they make some sorta big ass super weapon (It cant just be a death start v3 but maybe make it a giant capital ship 100 times bigger than a super star destroyer or something)
Leia opposes this on ethical grounds and retires.
The First Order are the plucky rebels and they manage to take over the super weapon for X reasons and demolishes the New Republic Fleet.
Leia is forced out of retirement and forms the Resistance with young and old members of the rebel alliance. Sends Han and Poe on a secret mission to get Luke.
Rest of the movie can happen naturally with little edits. The beginning part at least for me
-Gives a reasonable explanation how a gigantic super weapon can be funded and constructed (a galactic government rather than some rag tag imperial remnants)
-Gives a greater context to the peaceful but cold war political atmosphere in the galaxy
-Makes the First Order look much more competent and devoted to a cause
-The resistance actually has a much better reason for being put together out of necessity rather than in TFA being Leia’s private paramilitary death squad
-The super weapon while fundamentally filling the same role as the death star, can still say it is its own new thing rather than BIGGER BADDER DEATH STAR
-Vaguely ties in themes of the old status quo needing to adapt to changing times and new heroes blah blah
So, end of RotJ, Republic wins, Empire sucks, everyone is great. Fast forward 30 years or so, and the Republic is doing well. They've regained control over all the core galactic planets, and are making headway into pushing into the Outer Rim worlds. Peace, prosperity, etc. The First Order are still around, but much smaller, more like the SS sabotage squads that were meant to be left behind after WWII: entrenching their ways into lawless outer worlds, sapping Republic efforts and attempting to regain footholds where they're least likely to be stopped.
The Republic sends out specialized troops led by fledgling Jedi, who had been trained by Luke. Finn is one of these troops, and is sent to Jakku in order to pacify local resistance from a First Order led desert tribe. However, things go south when the First Order rebels in town seem to be able to use lightsabers, slaughtering the Republic Inquisitors. Finn is saved by Rey, and they return to Coruscant.
Luke is horrified by the discovery that the bodies of these First Order men were modified in some way, allowing them to artificially tap into The Force. A signal was also found to be tracking the lifesigns of the modified, which leads them to an extremely far off, uninhabited location in space. They need Han Solo's help to reach there, and before they go Leia privately admits her fear that whoever is doing this might be their son, Kylo, who disappeared nearly 10 years prior.
After presumably some filler adventure, the heroes reach this world, only to find it was a Jedi stronghold. Inside, Rey opens a security door using a DNA sample, which accepts her as a member of Kenobi family. There, they discover that Kylo appears to have gone mad in the Outer Rim, compiling huge evidence piles of the "Crimes of the Jedi and the Sith", as well as little "temples" to Darth Vader
What would you do in her situation?