There was a fish...in the percolator.
At least you're self aware, it's better than nothing. But really, stop with the electric stu-
>She passes out
Don't worry about it Wulfpack, I got you.
Awoo to you too
"No, no, I'm a NO- fuck, he's gone."
"...Good, never was a fan of hurting people for no reason, little bit of Sora is stuck in me, after all."
>He unties the fox, and leaves her on a park bench somewhere
FINALLY!!! Roxas gets the hang of this Spy stuff
>The host gives the dumb blonde a polite round of applause.
I think someone's spying on us, maybe we should cancel our meeting and continue some other time.
>Don't ask how Roxas knows how to be a convincing trap, just don't
>He gets his info, and burns the clothes at the earliest opportunity.
>A drowned zombies butt
Don't get a papercut there Johnny.
The Ref being based as usual.
I WASN'T EVEN THE ONE THAT BOTCHED IT THAT TIME
>Thankfully this one isn't a prostitute uniform.
>Being a literal Nobody makes it easier to be a... nobody.
>He's tailed this guy for two slides now, clearly he's important.
After tons of hour of filing paperwork and wrapping my fingers in band-aids I can confirm everyone is either dead or going to die.
Ezreal wasted no time putting Trevor's weakness to use against him! Look, he even gathered a team! Too bad a good spy is always prepared for the worst case scenario!
Okay, Roxas you're doing good. No need to act like that.
"You still have info I need, I'll be coming to get it shortly."
>He closes the laptop after sending the message, dumpstering the thing once he leaves the coffee shop.
I take back what I said about Ezreal, although this may be an advanced spy technique he's using....
Looks like Fyxe gave Johnny......an explosive gift.
Justice Vs. The Mob, who wins?
"I need to deal with Fyxe, after that, we should have all the info we need to complete our mission."
>He has no idea what the mission is, but he knows his part.
What? But I know nothing.
I know so much that I know nothing I could be the new Socrates!
>It was actually the work of Jenny
>Weaknesses: None notable.
>Armed with absolutely no knowledge of his opponent, Ezreal nonetheless goes to confront Special Agent Trevor Belmont with two other agents. Just as they corner him, the expected happens and Trevor makes a quick getaway.
This is what happens when you list "none notable" as a weakness. Is this the kind of intelligence the intelligence guys are gathering? Because it isn't very intelligent! I should just do their jobs, honestly...
When you have a title like "Ezreal, Prodigal Explorer and Secret Agent" it's hard to keep it to yourself, alright?
Hey, Momma, I knew you've come back for me! Wait a minute, why are you running away now.
Does anyone else smell bacon?
>Using some quick thinking, Trevor manages to briefly run up the side of a wall, use his whip as a grapnel and swings up on to the roof of a nearby building, peering down at the group.
As it were, he term is "I'm a fucking professional".
I'll put 5 gold on Vaati! I saw him win once, so he can definitely do it again!
I guess going around shouting your name out to everyone works! Nice going Exreal!
D-damn, can someone kill this Referee?
That's the attitude!
Pretty loose definition of "alive" you're using there?
I live as the burning fire in your heart, momma.
>Roxas is serious about winning this, but somehow, all his shots miss.
>Clearly Fyxe and the Belmont have learned the art of the dodgeroll.
You wanna try that one again?
I don't get it?
Swing and a miss Roxas.......
>Ezreal tries to act unimpressed by the man's display of acrobatics, simply folding his arms and scoffing. He had to admit to himself internally that it was kinda cool, but he couldn't let the enemy see that.
You and me both! My agency obviously isn't as good as equipping their agents as yours is, that's all. Give me a whip and I'd do the same!
It was a pleasure making acquaintances with you, Don Mcimcamamamamello.
>"What a goofy name."
I look forward to conducting business with you.
>"I'm going to ruin your organisation from the inside and put you to justice, you damnable criminal."
Your entire operation is sick, and I can't wait un- ohhhh, that one's out loud. Haha. Ahh...
I learned that he wears a mariachi hat, apparently. I hope that's valuable information. I have no idea what that is.
>That Ref event
N-no, what the hell is this guy's problem?
Jesus kek you can make a compilation of all of Roxas' mess ups, but keep trying dude!
Okay! Let's hope you're right!
"Damn, should have done it one at a time."
>Roxas abandons the alleyway full of Samurai as a death trap idea.
"Damn, almost had him... where'd he get the antidote?"
I think this'll put me into last place. Nice. Really looking forward to it.
I have a good feeling about it! I'm not sure who I'll be giving the gold to if I lose, but whoever they are, they don't stand a chance!
On Tonight's Episode of The Star Games: A Very HG Feast!
"DO IT, JAYCE, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO TRY!"
>Roxas stares the weaker man down, eyes cool and collected even as he shouts at the top of his lungs.
>They both know exactly what will happen if Jayce shoots: Reflect, and a dead gunslinger.
Yup. This is what I call a party!
>Trevor arches an eyebrow, before looking at the Vampire Killer around his own waist.
>He rolls his eyes, reaches behind him, and tosses down a second, undecorated whip.
I'll have you know I equip myself. Well, let's see it then, boy.
>SHOT THROUGH THE HEART
>AND YOU'RE TOO LATE
>Roxas sighs, having respawned.
"I'm going to sleep, good luck Fyxe."
And then there were 4 left, I hope that you weren't hoping to get points in this game, but some of the kill counts are actually pretty impressive.
Any favorites in there?
Don't worry! I'm gonna win that no biggie!
Duh. Myself of course! Bring it on! We already know the winner!
Fucking kill me... Another time, it wasn't enough.
O-oh. Uh, sure. Just...just watch me go...
>Ezreal picks up the whip and flicks his wrist, making the whip hiss as it snapped at the air. Despite being the symbolic weapon of an adventurer, Ezreal couldn't recall the last time he had actually used one. "Aw shit. Just cross your fingers and hope for the best, there's no point doubting in yourself."
>Ezreal takes a deep breath then runs at the same wall Trevor ran up, planting his feet up on it and gaining some height. He snaps the whip at a support beam and lets it curl around it, using the whip as an improvised swing to get him through an opening in the roof. At the height of his swing Ezreal releases the whip and makes a grab for the ledge, however his fingers only brush up against it and he fails to take hold. He falls; but quickly activates the power of his gauntlet to teleport up onto the roof anyways.
Well...it was my first time, alright? Still impressive. You might have to go back down and grab your whip though, I left it wrapped around that beam...
Solid bets, winner next so hold onto your horses!
"20 drakes lost for nothing. Congratulations anyway Outlander."
Thanks for the game Star!
And huh. Well Nice job, golden 70s
>Those kill counts
Yeesh, I should rig better next time....
>Bowing his head, Kosaku thanks the host (and sneaks a glance at her hands), before going off on his own way. "Committing suicide was the only feasible way to not get first place. It was needed... wasn't it?"
Thank you for the round. Congratulations to that man.
This is probably the game that finally sunk me into last place. Thanks anyways, and congratulations.
And I final Thank You for all the tributes and those you stuck around to watch! You've been a great crowd and I wish you a good night!
If I never saw him then he's ded.
Ah, yes. I'm quite sure I had deactivated that, hadn't I? On Hayato, considering he isn't here at the current moment—
>Time rewinds back an hour since Kosaku placed it on some other person in the arena (which is not Hayato). "Nani?"
>Trevor had taken a seat, his legs dangling off the side of the building. The Belmont scowls a little at the little bit of "cheating" from magic, but nontheless offers a few slow, probably-sarcastic claps.
Congratulations. You're not completely incompetent. That thing was a throwaway, anyhow. You've at least got good reflexes.
>Congrats, and thanks.
I'M HERE TO PREFORM FILTHY ACTS AT REASONABLE PRICES.
>Kosaku flinches, calmly taking his time to step away from the ambulance and being thankful that it didn't kill him. "Goodness, it would simply be a tragedy if it hit me! Luck has sided with Kosaku Kawajiri!"
luck has sided with yo-SHA-kage kiraaa
>Ezreal takes the sarcastic clapping in stride, bowing to Trevor despite it.
Thank you, thank you. You had guessed otherwise? You don't become a secret agent if you possess even the slightest of incompetence.
>A quiet ringing comes from Ezreal's pocket. It's coming from the burner phone his agency had given him.
Oh, new assignment. Apparently you're not a person of interest anymore. Well, thanks for letting me have a crack at your whip but I better get to this. Hopefully the agency doesn't sic me onto you again, given how poorly this attempt turned out...
No, no, no. Dear me! It is pronounced "Luck has sided with yo-SHI-ka-GAY Ki-ruh". Not that I know anyone by that name, of course, but as a native Japanese speaker, I must correct you on your faults.
>Trevor waves him off, lying on his back with hands behind his head.
You have fun with that.
Who is this "Kira"? I can tell you with absolute certainty I know no one by that name. Is it so hard to say "Kosaku Kawajiri"?
>Receiving the gift, Kosaku nearly (emphasis on 'nearly') cries... out of disappointment that he wasn't given a hand along with the cats. "Well, either way, I have gotten cats. I'm now free to live a quiet life!"
I'm not sure what to say. You have my gratitude for such a heartwarming gift. I can assure you that this won't be wasted at all.
>Kosaku bows as soon as he sees it, taking the hand away from the cat daintily. "I have only seen this person once, but already I love them a lot."
Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Now I really appreciate your gift! I'll make good use of this, I promise.
I've got it. I'll stay away from Hayato as soon as I get home. It was a great gift, sir. Thank you.
>Kosaku then takes his leave, heading into the nearest private place so he can have some fun with his new 'girlfriend'. "I haven't had one in so long! Luck has sided with Kosaku Kawajiri!"
>wanting to rape a fat autistic kid
Go to bed Adachi
Oh an elephant! Though this looks like a new kind of elephant.
Pain incarnate: the elephant, got it.
That is a man's penis shoved through a like two-pound weight.
And I need mind bleach.
*Leading you by the hand, I guide us to a room to the right of the topmost step*
This looks good!
*I throw the door open, and lead you inside. The door then closes itself. I take note of the open window, briefly considering closing the blinds, then do not.*
So, why don't you start by getting me out of these clothes?
If it's not an elephan then what is it...?
>Her eyes open wide when she listens to the painter and shakes her head.
L-let's just say that I was joking and I actually knew w-what it was.
yes i'll gladly do that
*i start by taking off the cape and put it gently on a chair nearby afterwards i start to pull off the bra, leaving alma's breasts hanging i waste no time and starts pulling alma's pants off leaving her almost naked*
well only the panties left
The Honeybee Inn! It's the "hottest" place to bee! Join now!
>/hga/ had a dedicated ERP room
No wonder those days are considered so awful. Holy shit, how could you stupid fucks not see this as a bad idea?
*Beads of sweat are already forming on my pale skin. My heavy breasts swing and I turn around and present my round ass. I begin to move it back and forth, as my tails wags excitedly.*
I appreciate you being careful with my garments.
Why don't you get these off me? Its not like im going to need them.
…By the way, I can put on some mood music if you'd like.
Classic H-Scene music, something a little classier, or cheesy porno soundtracks are all on the table…
I got a better idea.
Let's just say nooone of this ever happened, yeah?
I can get behind that. This never happened, not even this conversation and the words I'm saying right now never happened.
that would be nice, i'll let you choose, then i'll start on your panties
*i manage to get a grip on the panties removing them gently once again, i cant help but stick nose a little closer to feel the scent*
Oi, you fuckers ant paid fura room yet.
You com into mah inn an start fuckin in oneoma best rooms?
I'm not lookin' for anyone.
What never happened?
I think I feel like something a little classy. This is a celebration after all
*A record floats up from a pile in the corner, and inserts itself into the record player, beginning a smooth, jazzy riff.*
((Here is the mood music https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aA3qWnbbXwE))
*I then turn to face you, stark naked and already considerably moist.*
Well then, I guess its your turn…
*I step forward, and take hold of your Dragon Plate Armor, carefully undoing the straps. I then remove the chest plate, and place it on the ground. I then reach down a nimbly remove your pants. You are now left in just your boxers.*
By the way Sophisto, leave the sunglasses on. I like them
*I then deftly remove your boxers in one swift motion, and toss them out the window, where they land upon Yosuke's face.*
>tfw I almost joined during those days
Not gonna lie, my current state of virtual nonexistence is a hell of a lot better than being associates with that concenteated autism.
I can only wonder how much worse /Sanc/ was, what with it being so "exclusive" and all. That level of hugbox can never end well
N-nothing! I was just here staring at a wall thinking about what should I eat tomorrow morning.
Wew. Maybe I should actually go to sleep after all
I'll infiltrate your rear with my "metal gear".
Ooooh...oohooh! I suggest an omurice.
...That's an omelette with rice.Totes worth the effort.
I dunno /hga/ was like the weird period of hg...
Yeah, sure. But first, can you hold my beer?
>Snake chucks the half empty bottle of beer at the anons head with great force.
I haven't heard of that combination but it sounds delicious, I'll try it out tomorrow! It sounds like if fills you with energy and not only that, it's delicious too.
That sounds like a bit too much for a breakfast... Maybe only 4 eggs.
taking hg away from the chan and isolating it made it not know what to do, that's how I see it
goldenage banwave in early july 2015 has had an effect on hg to this day
I don't think I have the authority to say for certain, but I'm inclined to agree. Sure it's on a hidden board rife with extremely niche fetish porn, but things could always be worse. The fact that no one person is in direct control of things like on an 8ch board is enough to cement things as infinitely better
Aw jeez Rick, where the heck have you taken us now?
>Morty then notices the complete absence of Rick.
Rick, y-y-you-you asshole! You've left me on the planet where people call me "Memey!" What the hell are they even talking about? RICK!
It's a favorite'o mine. You know, every artist takes a good deal of value in a...very nice and varied diet. Can't have the brain-fuel without it!
What if you get proteins out of exercising? That's one of the best ways to eat as well, I do it all the time.
Oisho I'll put my hands to work tomorrow and cook it up, maybe even Nii-chan loves it. And with a huge glass of milk!
Good choice! Milk goes with a lot more than people'd think.
Not bananas though.
...Like don't even bother with bananas and milk it's just blech.
Like Rin, in a bin, made of tin. You're killing me here...
>What if you get proteins out of exercising?
...that's not how it works. Here's how it works.
FIRST YOU WARM UP.
THEN YOU EXERCISE.
THEN YOU COOL DOWN.
THEN YOU STRETCH.
THEN YOU CONSUME.
THEN YOU REST.
WITHOUT A GOOD EXERCISE PLAN, YOU WON'T MAKE GAINS!
WITHOUT A GOOD DIET PLAN, YOU WON'T MAKE GAINS!
WITHOUT A GOOD REST, YOU WON'T MAKE GAINS!
"Real?" I-I-I don't have the time for that philosophical stuff, alright? I just wanna get out of here...
Real good life advice, buddy. I'll be sure to remember it.
What's wrong with bananas and milk? I eat with that combination some times and I think it's not only good but delicious.
C-calm d-down, I was joking! I was joking! You sound the trainer of the dojo, y-you're scaring me.
how has /trash/?
maybe a few new people but /hga/ got new people during the /b/ expeditions
...Well your tongue is weird and dumb. They just don't mix well! There's no mix, even, just clashing!
Three days? I gotta wait three fucking days? Rick put you up to this, didn't he? That wrinkled son of a bitch!
I haven't even spent ten minutes here and people already hate me. What a world.
the biggest improvements in hg were the tools and concepts
tools and backgrounds had been around since /b/ but backgrounds became widely used during hga
host tools continued to have major improvements up into /trash/
all of these are improvements by individuals rather than by the settings
>She gasps when his fist hits the wall, freaking out at both his tone and the action.
I WILL WARM UP I PROMISE! I WILL, I WILL.
Both are white... Kinda and if you add a bit of chocolate to the milk then it's even better. Can't see someone hating it though, maybe not loving it but not hating on the combination.
I swear to God if I turn this pickle around and see that goddamned face...
>Morty turns the pickle over. To his relief, Rick's face isn't there to scream "I TURNED MYSELF INTO A PIIIIIIIIIIIICKLE" at him.
Jesus Christ, what a relief.
Aw jeez, I-I know I'm not the cutest guy around but you don't have to go rubbing it into my face y'know?
Gonna be honest, probably 'cause of that scratch mid-puberty voice and the weird hairstyle and that kinda whiny tone and also your unnatural funky-lookin' splotchy eyes that don't even show any iris and is just sclera and pupil.
...All that in general.
Just because things are the same color doesn't mean they match up! 'Specially with food. I'm kinda a connoisseur here, just take me for my word and stuff.
To be fair though, Rick is a shitty meme character far more heavily associated with the "euphoric" side of the fanbase. Morty is kinda bland, sure, but at least he has a character outside of "God is a lie, I'm an alcoholic, I can do everything because siense"
But you're a painter. How can you have more knowledge than me when it comes to food? I'd say if the color match then the flavors match perfectly, too... A connoisseur would be able to see this from miles away-
Which one of you is even talking? It's hard to identify you when you're all missing your face...
>Morty rolls his splotchy eyes as the girl lists all the things wrong with his appearance.
Okay. I get it. I look like an ugly little creep, whatever.
>Tired of Rick's dumb shit, Morty throws the Pickle Morty to the floor and stomps on it. The way it crunches underneath his foot is deeply satisfying to the abused sidekick.
Yeah. When you see Rick next tell him I said to go fuck himself.
And you're a schoolkid. I went to school. AND art school.
>Pop. Her hoodie turns in to a shirt with some Japanese art school's symbol on it.
I also got a few years of experience in the culinary arts. So ha! It's about the TASTES, not the looks, you dummy.
I mean there's also your defeatist attitude that I'm getting from you combined with the fact that you still look like you shouldn't even be in high school and you're kindacussinglikeasailor.
...But that's just guesswork!
Fuck it, I can't sleep.
Are there enough people here right now to support a game?
You try living my life and not end up with a "defeatist attitude." The only good thing about my life is that my grandpa's only a dick 99% of the time. That, and I got mermaid puss.
Now if you would excuse me, I gotta go find my grandpa. He's probably drunk at a bar or something.
How did you...?
>Her words come out while the painter is talking, saying how she has experience with food but her thoughts and eyes are focusing on what happened and the shirt.
Are you some kind of ghost or...? Uhmm if you are then there's no way you'd be able to be a food connoisseur. Ehem and you look very young, too, I bet you're going to school still.
Give me a minute to switch devices and get somwthing set up
Same. I know the gene is dominant on my father's side, so I'm pretty sure I'm fucked
You get all like that only if you refuse to try being an optimist. Later.
Huh? Naaah, not all the time at least, I only picked that accessory up a few days ago and I'm not keen on changin' my whole physiology often.
And I'll have you know I'm a fully-fledged legal adult, little missie! I'm just flat as all heck, unlike some.
So your bet your hide I know what I'm on about!
Are you really an adult though? You look like a little girl for me, I'd even say you're smaller than me.
>She takes a step forward to compare how tall she is compared to her.
I can see you're flat as a board but that doesn't change the fact that you don't look like an adult at all.
Ayy yo, give me 24 or so
In the mean time, please enjoy this shitty meme song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLXJFEXBIZg
I'll have you know I only look short because I'm sitting down.
>When Iro stands up, she's certainly no giant, but she's at least a few inches taller than the average person her claimed age, albeit a bit on the scrawny and almost lanky side.
And that's pretty rude, you know. What, want my papers or something?
Just filler. For the moment anyway.
>Slaps that ass
Machi, my babe. Daddy Hisoka got a booboo from mommy Chrollo. You mind kissin it and making it all better?
Aw come on, don't be that way. We can even make it a threesome with this creepy snake motherfucker
I've been seeing him since last month though. We forgot to tell you..
A-ayo, ship with me instead. I've been dying to see how good of a kisser I am...
Cool story, bro.
N-no, it's alright I'm not a police officer, I'm just an ally of Justice.
>Her eyes are more on level with her now after she stands up, rather tall and not a kid at all. Even with that in mind she raises one of her hands and pets the painter's head.
You're still cute and a child in heart. Sorry for being rude, I'll take into consideration what you said about food.
Well if it isn't mommmy Chrollo. How's Shalnark and Kortopi? Doing well I hope.
Ok wow, thanks a lot cunt
I was going to cuck you eventually, but still. Ouch.
Nah man, that's gay as fu-
Wait. If I ship myself, is that gay or just touching myself? Fuck it, I'm game
>Cracks open a cold one
You ready boy?
Only one way to hurt a spider like that. Break all of it's legs before going for the head~
>The underage responsible for that also played a snivy that would try to crawl up people's asses
Humanity was a mistake.
...Good, because I forgot about bringing it with me today.
>Iro sure looks youthful at least. She pouts in a dramatically pouty fashion, before quickly grinning like an idiot.
I'll take that instead! Thank buddy. And it's no problem, I'm not always the most sense-makin' individual.
There's a whole fuckload of this so I'm just going to start capping randomly
There's a lot more than just that, and DIscord only lets me cap so much
Fuck you dad you piece of shit
bend over faggot
alright the cum inflation bit is unneeded but ptsd?
not even fucking close. i have seen shit, anon. i have seen a boku no hero academia mind-break, transformation, weight gain fanfic with five parts. it was arousing, but it was also fucked. you would throw up within the first paragraph
The guy saying ptsd wasn't me desu. I gagged a lil at this bit, but realize it's nothing in the overall grand scheme of this board
He didn't get drunk and go into way too much detail about his previous typefucking life, so I got nothing
Are you implying a good novel has no room to the beautiful sentence: "Did he ever try to shove his snout up your poopshoot?"
I'll fight you on that.
I really need to pay more attention when I type. I meant "room for".
I have AC now. I'm not afraid of Summer anymore.
Should mention that the "lucario waifu" is the 15 year old anal vore dude who also played the slug abomination. Apparently he basically guilted our Heartless friend into fucking it because "it's what your character would do"
Just try to not surprise me with buckets full of water and I won't try to bully you, okay? I'll see you later, painter.
>Super, super tired. I don't think I can RP right now.
Hey, even I have a childish side. No promises! Muhehehehe...butnahhaveagoodone.
When inspiration hits me.
To create magic, one must know the magic words and the magic movements.
Hooray. Let's speed away from everything that's happened here.
>writes a letter
>cries on it
>I don't like this
By all accounts, I'm ready! Taking that little break to have a nap or two got me ready to get my head in the game, you know? Ready when you are, dude!
What, you mean Bioshock was wrong? You SHOULDN'T inject yourself with random syringes you find just laying on the ground?
Also I think this is another code that's in need of a slight rewrite.
Ruri! Lookin good! Get on out there and work that bod! Whoop whoop!
I wonder what I'll spend the bounty on...
Hey, I can see my house from here! And Canada's! And Mexico's. Man, now that I think about it, I can kind of see EVERYONE'S house from here. Takes away the joy from being so high up...
>Despite this, he smiles and points at another destination; Russia.
There's the trash bin!
Did you tell her yet? You didn't, I'm sure. Give me a moment.
>Ruri collapses and foams at the mouth after taking a chance. Guess the luck amulet isn't foolproof after all - duh.
Alright, so here's the plan! We stroll in, give it to them discretely, and then we colonise it and pretend that it was a misfortunate accident. Trust me, I've seen it happen before, and it works a LOT.
...Oh, the planet is made OF Ebola? Can I switch planets? Mars looks like a good destination right now!
Tell who what? I don't know what you're talking about...
>Awawawawawawa wants total control over the minds of sentient beings
I for one welcome our new trap overlord
And what does that make us? Absolutely nothing.