What's the most fucked up thing you or your party has ever

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Ironically, while playing a party of PALADINS, we brutally "interrogated" someone with beatings/burning/cutting/waterboarding/magical electrocution because we though they were a vampire.

Then we strung up their mutilated naked corpse in the middle of the town square and sent the local lord the guy's head in a box (with a dagger through the eye) to send a "message" to the other "vampires" we thought were hiding in the town.

>>43457831
Tortured a guy for information and my kobold bit off his finger

>>43457831
>Torture
Pull subject's nails out, cut their fingers into pieces by their natural segmentation, split the palm by its bones, riddle the result with needles, salt that shit, break the bones, pour acid over what's left, then use prestidigitation to clean it and cast a spell that puts it back together, fully healed and clean.
Tell them you're going to do it again if they don't do what you want.
>Atrocities
Just do what my party did and steal everything useful from the people you kill, down to the meat if you can, and discard the rest, burning it or just leaving it without burial.
I still have shudders when I remember the things they did, and they apparently did more stuff when I wasn't around.

My CE pirate character shot a baby.

>>43457831
well, my players unleashed a xeno horror upon the Koronus expanse simply because they wanted to save ammo, and abandoned over a thousand crewmen to their deaths in the process.

Played a fairly evil-slanted game based around a Khan-esque barbarian player leading the attack on the civilized lands. The whole range of rape and pillage and various atrocities were committed. The few of us good characters were retainers and not really in a position to prevent much of anything.

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>Played a healer
>Nasty fight was going down
>Bad dude tackles me and start punching me
>Had to smash a dude's face in with a rock to get him off me
>DM was like "You freaked out and kept on smashing his face in"
>My face when I couldn't stop smashing his face in.
>I'm a healer with PTSD now

>>43457831
>Playing ice/water mage
>Generally a good person
>BBEG fucks with her adoptive sister
>Party captures him
>My character slowly freezes his arms until the nerves died, then makes him watch as she takes a hammer to the limbs and starts smashing off chunks.

>>43457831
ah, killed a rival, turned him into a zombie knight, then made him kill his own son. It was great, he was about to strike him down and i made it take its helmet off and his son turned to jelly realizing his own father was his foe, and in that moment of hesitation....

Kidnap children. Beat them unconscious. Use magic to inscribe runes on them so that when they come into physical contact with someone of their bloodline, they detonate in a fireball.

"Let" one escape. Kid finds mommy, mommy hugs kid. BOOM.

Repeat until mothers and fathers are forced to kill their own children to prevent more lives being lost.

Resurrect one that was killed, preferably by a priest who wasn't present during kidnapping. Tell him/her his mommy/daddy doesn't love them anymore and tried to have them sacrificed.

Raise into angry, vicious foot-soldier. Dispel rune.

Final test: Kill your parents.

Repeat as necessary or as you find amusing.

>>43458090
What the fuck is wrong with you?!

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A long while ago I played a game where our party was constantly dogged by a gnome assassin named "Hightower." He kept trying to kill us, and he had an annoying tendency of slipping away right before we could finish him off whenever we fought. My rogue came to hate that fucking gnome.

One of the campaign's recurring NPCs was able to identify Hightower's employer, a low-ranking nobleman with a declining house. The party decided to sneak into his mansion at night to ambush and interrogate him. While we were inside we heard a noise and the GM had us roll perception to identify its source.

The other two members of the party botched their rolls, but I scored high enough to make out a three and-a-half foot tall figure trying to stay out of sight in the kitchen. Figuring that my Rogue's long-term rival had made a fatal mistake, I fired off a crossbow bolt.

It wasn't Hightower. It was the nobleman's nine year old daughter trying to sneak some food from the pantry. The crossbow bolt hit her in the forehead and she went down instantly.

Seeing as there was no resurrection in this setting, all we could do was hide the body and move on. When we finally confronted the nobleman the first question he asked us was where his daughter was. We lied to avoid making him non-compliant and said we didn't know, then demanded an explanation for the hit attempts. It turns out the whole thing was a big misunderstanding - we were new in town, and he had been erroneously informed by his spies that we were hired guns sent by a rival noble...

...to kill his daughter, preventing a marriage that would save his dying house.

Whoops.

We sent the body downriver and convinced him that his rivals had used our attack on his mansion as a cover to kidnap her and frame us. He ended up being one of our biggest financial backers for the remainder of the campaign, since we kept convincing him that our completely unrelated adventures all somehow tied into tracking down his daughter's kidnappers.

>>43457936
Did he shoot it as target practice?

Or did he shoot it as ammunition from a cannon?

These kinds of details matter, as I've seen both.

We once had a Duke drink poisoned wine before we made him ride his horse off the tallest tower of the castle into a lake.

For the current game, the blood mage takes the cake with a tie.

>Taking the identity of another PC to marry a noble in her place, having a baby with the guy and rendering him braindead, and then using the baby as a voodoo doll against his family members. She later killed the baby in a ritual to make herself stronger.
>A fellow PC became opposed to her and was capable of stopping her. Around the same time though he found out his wife was expectant, so the blood mage killed her and took her place, and quickly got pregnant, and ended up pulling the same voodoo trick.

Having a voodoo baby with someone isn't the only trick in her vast repertoire, but it's the most effective, and I think it's the most evil.

>board an enemy ship
>having trouble pacifying the occupants
>get into engineering, turn the on board communications to broadcast, and start torturing a motherfucker
>fingers go first, then take a hand off
>start flaying the off this guys other arm
>intersperse with promises of this kind of treatment to everyone on board
>with the help of a disgustingly good intimidate roll it works exactly as planned
>vent the atmosphere afterwards

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>First campaign
>Poorly spec'd 3.5 human fighter in a 5e game
>Play like a matador
>Be really downtrodden
>Have little to no money compared to rich Bard
>Whatevs
>Party idot
>Don't have enough cash to stay at the inn
>Go to the park to sleep with the hobos
>Try to steal what little they have
>Nat 1
>whatthefuckdicegods.jpg
>Get mugged by hobos
>Literally have no money at all
>Only things I got are my sword and the clothes on my back
>fuck.jpg

Fastforward 'till after we save the DMPC Nicolas the Caged

>In main town for the next 8 weeks
>Total of 1 gold, 1 silver and 17 copper
>Need a job
>DM cuts me some slack
>Get a babysitting gig for single mother
>fuck yeah
> ''You earn 5 gold a week''
>This is taking too long
>Wait for mother to come home
>Block the door
>Stab mother in front of child
>Stab child in front of dying mother
>roll perception to find the gold I was to be given
>Nat 20
>Find 30 gold
>fuckina.jpg
>cut off mother's hair and steal her dresses
>clean up mess
>leave with loot
>return to party house
>get female elf friend to make a wig outta the dead mother's hair and pair it with the proper dress & Jewelry

Later that session...

> try to get into current BBEG's castle by wooing the guards in my fem-outfit like sexy elf lady did.
>Guards aren't having any of this shit
>Get promptly chucked out of their sight
>whatevs, I'm still 30 gold richer and am a pretty pretty lady

>great success

>Playing a paladin
>"Friend" playing a fucked druid
>Burying a fallen friendly NPC
>Druid- I want to take his teeth
>me- NO
>him- Yes
>we bury him, teeth intact
>Druid as elemental- I move to go underground and retrieve his teeth
>Me- I move to stop him
>DM- roll to see if you witness him go underground
>2
>Druid now has a bag of teeth

>>43457831
Not sure it really qualifies as "evil", but I sorta like it because it's quirky.

Made a male Rogue character, super high charisma, would pretty much play himself up as some kind of big hero, woo the local women, get a room with them at the inn... then when he snuck out in the morning he'd take all their jewelry and valuables, which they conveniatly wouldn't be wearing anymore.

Yeah, he was kind of a dick.

I ran a homebrew sci-fi game once. Two of my players were a smuggler and his bruiser/bodyguard. They started the game with their medium-sized freighter trying to sneak past patrols on the planet all the other players were on. Not a roll was made - they were asked to identify themselves, and the smuggler panicked, made a beeline for the nearest port on the ground, and when ships started moving to intercept, he bailed out. His ship crashed directly into the city of one of the system's busiest cities and directly and indirectly killed or injured several hundred thousand people. They also gunned down one guy as they descended onto a rooftop, because they were afraid he might be reporting where they were.

Used a ship hold full of scrap steel as a projectile against a biotech lab.

From orbit.

When we were inside, everyone's skill checks pointed toward an illegal drug plant (and these were high fucking rolls), supoorted by our mission giver. So I called our ship AI to do the bombing run, and we evacuated the lab.

Then we got to see the wreckage firsthand, as an entire race's progress toward curing some genetic disease that was killing them was destroyed.

Bad campaign, terrible GM, but still feel guilty in that one.

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>>43457831
Well long time ago in my first DnD game I played a paladin who started out well:
>Protected a female Innkeepers honor
>Destroyed a giant ass nurgle-tier demon by opening a magic door on the far side of a slaughter cave
>Rescued survivors from said cave
>Even captured the heart of the Innkeeper and got free room and board,

But then shit started going downhill

>Found a conspiracy of vampires ruling the town we were in.
>Went to underground whore house
>Since other party members were sucking at getting info I decided to pay one of the girls for information
>Get taken to bedroom
>Get info but decide not to waste money 'cause I was dumb so I slept with the whore
>Vampire pimp finds out about us and we speak with him and he hires us to tip the balance of power in the town, I do not protest because he seems to be the lesser evil.
>Job is to deal with some drug dealers
>Guy just doing his job and is rather innocent ends up dead by my sword because I didn't think to talk first.
>Innkeeper finds out of my cheating and I'm on her shit list
>I do reconcile with her and take the relationship more seriously.
>God I'm devoted too shows up and says I done fucked up and to keep my powers I must go on a quest to the east (land of samurai and ninja) to redeem myself.
>Pick up a drinking problem.
>His face when.

>>43458188
also, a couple sessions after that, the parties sharpshooter/psychopath decided he handt killed enough people in the last while, and went shootan, and fired randomly into a crowd
>DM had him roll to see what kind of bad shit went down
>dumb fuck rolls a 100
>he ends up killing the governors daughter, who the populace absolutely loved
>this is basically like the 9/11 of this world
>shit goes down, theres an arms dealer who can trace this back to him
>authorities nab him
>i'm the only one in the party who figured out what happened
>formulate a plan to get to this guy while hes being transported to a more secure facility
>tl:dr bomb goes off in the path of the armoured vehicle containing this guy, it veers into a crowd, at which point bombs placed inside several garbage cans and other innocuous places go off as a distraction, killing many, many more people
>sharpshooter blows the arms dealers head off, makes his way back to the ship while pursued by this backwater shitholes version of tempestus scions
>gets back to the ship, i give the order to leave immediately, and to cover our escape, paid off some mercenaries to broadside the port and engage the authorities
basically, at least 100,000 died because our chucklefuck manhunter decided he needed to kill someone

>>43458131
Not guy who posted that but...
fuck off man, it's a game. It ain't like he's doing that stuff outside the game.

>>43457921
This is a good idea for my evil kobold assassin

I painstakingly bribed mechanics, crash investigators, and paranormal experts to get a haunted metropolitan train back on the rails to allow it to claim its final victims (Which I even assisted it in doing by arranging a plane crash on the rails at just the right time) in the ritual to summon a god-like being that would in turn activate stonehenge and end our miserable existence.

My friends, meanwhile, positioned themselves exactly where this god would be summoned and shivved him in the gut the second he entered existence, and then stole his clothes. I was at a coffee shop about a block away watching this happen and having a cuppa.

I should clarify that I did this in a bargain with the powers that be to teach me how to make more haunted, evil trains so I can summon this guy over and over again and make a business out of killing him every time and taking his clothes.

Had a monk who exclusively kicked people in the groin. Also when a goblin chieftain took the credit for slaying an ettin I beckoned him to chat with me next to a cliff. "Can i... can I talk to you for a moment over here?" "Sure what's this abouuuuuu-*plop*" pushed him off the cliff.

I once threw a knife into the neck of a ratfolk nanny watching over some kidnapped children, showering the children with blood and killing the female leader figure of the ratfolk tribe.

To paint the picture a little better, it was pathfinder/3.5 bastard hybrid and the DM allowed me to sneak into a room through a doorway that was being watched if I rolled high enough. I ended up getting a nat 20 with with +12 stealth I think, got within 10 feet of the Ratfolk nanny who was trying to calm the kidnapped children down and threw my dagger at her for sneak attack damage. I crit, rolled max damage, and the DM fluffed it that I instantly killed her and she vomited blood all over the children before crumbling into a writhing mass on the ground.

Come to find out the Ratfolk were supposedly trying to protect the children from some demon plant in the woods. I don't know if that was exactly evil, but I left a hell of an impression on those children which is probably going to have a major influence on their formative years.

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>>43458135

>>43457831
in a black crusade game
>psyker casts a power so hard it lobotomizes the last enemy combatant
>we discuss using him for a servitor
>decide against it
>Chaos sorcerer and Long War veteran simultaneously stomp the man's head and chest with no input from each other.

>>43457936
>Not using babies as squid bait

One time I drugged some kids and locked them in a sauna. When they woke up I shined a bright light in their eyes and tell them they're being held prisoner on the sun.

>>43458578
fuck off, everyone's seen that picture already

That time when one of our party raped a kid.

>DM makes evilquest
>guy has a great idea for being evil
>"I'm gonna play a pedophile"

We didn't think too much of it, till his character actually raped a kid.

>>43457831
Biological weaponry delivered to enviromental terrorists. Those crazy butts destroyed a good chunk of the civilised world with that, and we didn't even get all that much for doing it because prices blew up after the incident.

>>43458191
Your character sounds like a fag.

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This is all great stuff. Keep it coming /tg/.

We needed a bus as a burner transport in a street level SR game, something that could not be tracked back to us because we, along with a lot of other low level runners, were being paid relatively well to hit Aztec simultaneously, and retribution was expected.

So instead of setting funds aside or trying to get in touch with one of our contacts, we decided to steal it. Now up until this point, we had had a decently successful time carjacking burner vehicles, with the face and stealth sammy tag teaming unsuspecting and off guard motorists. This time around, the loud and stealth sammies went together to find a short bus and found an antique outside of a church mission full of children. And after a sadly botched roll, one of the caretakers witnessed the stealth sammy.

What happened next was at least 30 minutes of listening to different ways an orc and troll could burn, knife, and chainsaw a building of innocents that stood no chance. Probably ever other complication in the campaign stemmed from that one incident. When word eventually got out, party cohesion fell and the team's rep dropped.

As far as things go, it's not the most dramatic, and even cliche. But how fast and willing the characters were to escalate took everyone off guard.

>>43458460
Trust not the skaven, Anonymous.

My wizard developed a spell: Stormstaff's Jagged Kidney Stones. It starts as a mild discomfort in the lower back, but give it a couple weeks.... There is then an auxiliary spell that goes with it: Stormstaff's Foreign Body Expulsion, which does what it sounds like.

I later considered higher level, permanent versions of each, such that kidney stones in a victim would be continually generated and expelled, but decided that would firmly lodge me on the side of evil. It's one thing to injure your enemies, but quite another to make them want to injure themselves.

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Not sure if it's evil but pretty fucked up. We tried to start a settlement in a pretty remote region. Well this orc tribe of settlers with a few years head start of us, kept raiding and fucking us up so we wanted to counterattack and tell them to fuck off, and when we left told the other settlers to hide in the woods. When we found and attacked their village, the men were off hunting and raiding, so we went in and beat up the women who resisted, got the rest of the settlers to join us and holed up in the village. Whenever the orc men came back we repelled and killed a few until the mounted a a big final attack but still didn't succeed (though we did take a good few losses ourselves). Eventually we got them to leave by chucking them enough supplies to journey to another orc settlement they could raid.

After that, we ended up with a good stockpile of goods, a defensible village, and more than twice our number in orc women and children that we didn't know what to do with. Some wanted to kill them or send them out on their own, but they knew the region and knew how to survive, as well as the basics like cooking and healing, so we ended up tolerating them. As one might expect, the subsequent generations of our settlement turned village turned town, were pretty heavily orc blooded and cultured. It was pretty funny when the representatives and tax men of our mostly human, parent empire arrived, to survey and establish administration and didn't like what they found.

>>43458614
What in the name of fuck did you think was going to happen anon?

>>43458590
what picture?

>>43458189
>Get a babysitting gig for single mother
> ''You earn 5 gold a week''
What kind of single mother can pay 5 gold per week? What monster is this child who needs such an exorbitantly expensive babysitter?
>Stab child in front of dying mother
Probably for the best, given the above considerations.

>>43458708
I dunno.
Slightly creepy stuff and such?

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>>43458716

>>43458742
You let an EVIL PEDOPHILE into your party

and you didn't expect kiddy rape.

I get that we're on 4chan but come on, dude.

>>43458135
kek
i love this one
sounds like a real medieval account minus the gnome and shit of course

>>43457831
If you discount one character doing a lot of eschatologicaly sketchy stuff for and in the name of a priest friend who he had deep platonic love for, then the worst would probably be accepting a commission to refine a natural aphrodisiac from a blatant poison ivy ripoff and pointing her towards a test subject afterwards.
It was a character id had a fair bit of fun playing out the crumbling of morals with.

>>43458742
LOL

that's one thing literally screaming for common sense.

This was pretty fucking bad. Out group was just starting back story of a new campaign. We're all kids in a small farming village. 2 humans and an orc. We're all around 8 years old. Friends orc is fucking buff for a kid. Like 15 year old body builder buff. Two kids dare us to throw rocks over a wall after school. We're not puss is so we went. Orc goes to throw a rock. DM asks him to roll a d20. He rolls a one. DM makes a terrible face and says "you hear a terrible crunchy, squishy sound and a woman crying 'my little Andy!'.". Kids that dared us scream some shit about telling on us. They run and we give chase. Orc catches up to one of the kids and goes to backhand him to knock him down. This kid is like 10. DM says "roll to hit." Motherfucker rolls a nat 20. Next he rolled damage. A d4 because child nerfs. Of course he rolled a 4. His hand crushed the kids facial bones like a potato chip and forced several fragments into his brain. The kid was insta-fucked. We ended up killing the other kid so No one would find out. I took one of the kids jackets because it was fly as fuck. I wore the jacket throughout the rest of the back story. We're near the end of the campaign now and I still have it. The DM still has npcs comment on me being fly at odd, random times. No one in the party regrets a thing.

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Magical plagues are a hell of a thing to eradicate.

Convinced a dying leper to be drained of all his juices in exchange for a donation to his son so they could lob those juices in a jar into the bedroom of a noblewoman from a race with pathetic immune systems. They also threw in a beehive and a sick dog for good measure.

Leprosy doesn't work like that, but they got all excited about their assassination plot so I allowed it. Now they have a a half mad Leper Elf after them, doped out on magic and Mercury. Or at least they will.

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stealing a swoop racer from a local baron.
our junker took my scattershot and blew his head off while he slept. the rest of the party ingame never found out who did it, as we left planet after stealing the swoop.
that junker had a thing for secretly murdering people.

another time we stole bacta tanks from a outer rim charity hospital, sometimes you just gotta pay your hutt any way you can.

>>43457957
That's a very 40K thing to do. I like your players.

We found a nice orc fisherman sleeping on the side of a river, and rather then ask to use his boat, we killed him, flayed him, hollowed out his body and some other materials to make a boat, and then when that obviously didn't work, we stole his boat.

Also same party, we began to use every part of everything we killed. We were basically a party of Aztecs by the end of it, we ate our enemies, made tools from our enemies, stored water in their intestines, we did everything with these guys. We would lay in wait for even vaguely evil looking people just so we could kill them and use them to fuel our growing economic bloodlust.

In a Shadowrun game, we were hired by a corp/gang/something who wanted retribution against some elvish rivals. They offered us a contracted bounty; the idea was that we would bring in their ears as proof of their deaths. The way it was worded was something like, "10 nuyen will be paid for each elf ear brought in."

The game was immediately derailed as instead of killing rival elves, we simply went around to small communities, incapacitating innocent elves and cutting off their ears.

You know how many ears there are in an elementary school? Enough to pay for that fancy new rifle you wanted, a few new trivids, and a nice night on the town for your sweetheart. Though actually the joke went, "Ears? Dey don't 'ears nuttin' now!"

>>43458653
hes hot

>>43457831
Removed a drows arm then fisted her with it.

>>43458893
around orcs never relorx

>Our ship is shipwrecked on an island and the locals agree to repair it on the condition we go visit the druid who lives in a cabin by the beach
>Druid presents us with a puzzle with a gold, silver and bronze colored box each
>Party fighter opens gold box, disappears in a puff of smoke

>Rogue, warlock and bard have none of this shit
>Cast hold person on druid, bard forces him to whiff the roll
>Tie him up, gag him
>Star beating him, trying to figure out where the fighter went
>DM has no idea how to react, thought it would be a simple, whimsical puzzle
>Druid implores us to open the other boxes
>Rogue stands watch, warlock and bard go down to the shipyard to get some extra lumber
>Bind and gag druid, tie him to his stove, barricade his doors, have familiar drop a heavy blanket over his chimney and light the cabin on fire
>Player with the fighter has no idea WTF to do in this situation


DM had to handwave the fighter having been teleported to the nearby woodlands. Ended up having to literally massacre the entire town, who apparently liked that druid and then summon a whale to leave the island.

Moral of the story?

>>43459420
So did the DM explain how to solve the puzzle afterwards?

>>43459460
We never attempted it.

The funny thing is that after that incident we barricaded three more people inside houses or cottages and lit them on fire. Well once we put someone out to sea on a small boat and then shot it with a flaming arrow.

>>43459420
Moral of the story, do not have your NPCs lead your PCs into perceived danger if you don't want them to get their shit kicked in.

>>43458344
No, it's a legitimate concern.

>>43459420
You open the silver box damnit. Haven't you ever heard of Shakespear?

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Posted this before a long ass time ago
>playing CG gnome bard
>party rescues princess
>ranger hits on princess and fails
>rapes her
>sorcerer joins in
>i try to stop them
The end result was them trying to sacrifice me to the god of death. My character noped out and I came back with a NE wizard

>in different town
>sorcerer sees a horse
>really fucking wants this horse
>owner won't sell it
>wait until owner leaves
>barbarian follows him to keep him away for a few hours
>sorcerer, ranger, and I break into place
>sorcerer spends the next hour trying and failing to ride horse
>I'm stuck babysitting him
>ranger decides to rob the place
>walks into bedroom of mother and 4 year old daughter
>shoots mommy in the goddamn face
>son hears this and runs in with a sword
>also gets a shaft in the face
>now stuck with a goddamn toddler
>turns out barbarian distracted dad by killing him
>go to try to figure out what to do with aforementioned little girl
>ranger sells her into the sex trade while i'm gone
And thats how my first D&D game ever was forever doomed to be lolrandom evil

>>43459558
Really? Is it a legitimate concern if a guy in a superhero campaign plays a wholly mundane punisher ripoff who brutally executes drug dealers and even minor drug users alike?

When they can do this in real life just as easily?

>>43459574
My DM is actually a shakespearan stage actress. I antagonized her by deliberately playing my character as if he existed in a David Mamet play.

From my DM point of view

>Wizard
>Cut off an Oni's dick and dickslapped a prisoner to death for informations
>Caught slavers, cut off their hands, burnt their eyes and made them jump through hoops of fire

>Rogue
>Stole all memorabilia from a widow just to satisfy her kleptomania
>"Wow, don't you think this stew tastes a bit like your dog?"

>Warrior
>Zandatsu'd a guy in the middle of an army to strike fear in their hearts

>Party
>Enter Earth Magus lair under a populated city
>Steal fancy sword
>taunted Magus for shit and giggles
>Situation can be defused if they hand back the sword
>Dared him to summon a meteor
>Magus crits, summons 3 meteors
>Party gets the fuck out of town
>Whole town is obliterated because muh sword
It wasn't even magic, it just had a fancy handle.

>>43459598
You sick bastard

>>43459607
It's hilarious because exactly half the party (the rogue, being myself, and the bard) were on the verge of being murderhobos but no matter what absolutely refused to buy into the internal logic of her setting, while the fighter and warlock were into it.

So when we unleash an unspeakably evil sea monster that makes sea travel impossible, the fighter and warlock want to destroy it while the bard and I took our hard-earned adventuring earnings and started buying up all the overland trading caravans in the country.

My character was once blackmailed by the russian mob into kidnapping a girl and selling her to an illegal bunraku parlor because her father owed a debt to some local Vor.

>>43458188
>>43458316
Your group takes the prize for Most Edgelord out of everyone's ITT.

>>43458135

You colossal fuckup....how did it not occur to your to blame the murder on Hightower?

>>43457831

A while back I played an oWoD Mage game where I was the party Muscle Wizard/Healer.
The GM wouldn't let me pull off my idea of healing people by punching them, at least in the beginning, but each of our characters did get a special relic with a high-level spell imbued in it. I chose a knife that heals people it stabs.

You'd be amazed what you can get someone to tell you when you can gouge out their eyes...repeatedly....for hours. I mean, you can just jam the thing in there and grind it around without having to worry about blood loss or anything.

>>43458517
>decide against it
More like the Veteran decided it without anyone's consent. I needed that guy for a ritual damn it

>>43458398
How do you profit off his death or his clothes?
How is he returning every time if he's being killed?

In a short lived high level evil campaign, ( we all died because one player attacked the big important npc you don't attack) we had to get to the king for reasons but this multi tiered city wouldn't let us through any gates past entering the town. So we decided if we caused enough trouble in the city they would have to send guards from higher up. Our assasian shadow dancer started jumping out of shadows and knifing peasants, our ranger got on a roof and started shooting fire arrows into houses and my character the sorcerer found a orphanage went in and cast "wail of the banshee" killing every child and raising them as zombies which I sent out into the streets.

I did not play in that group, my roomie did however.
They played shadowrun and got hired by some TV-producer to get his show some kick.
It was a reality show where they locked 30 super-models in a biodome and they had live there for some time. Big Brother, basicly, only with super models.
The group quickly had a plan. They stole a hotdog-van, dismounted the wiener on top and put a giant dick up there and equiped it with some sort of firehose or some riot-watercannon or some shit. They than raided a sperm bank and filled the tanks with jizz.
You get the jist of it.
That was only phase one though.
The next phase is to basicly jack squater up with aphrotisiacs and unleash them onto the models so they will get violated.
It's disgusting

In our first attempt at Call of Cthulhu, my group's idea of detective work was rather... liberal, to say the least.

They were tasked with the apprehension of an escaped test subject whose mythos knowledge represented a liability to his former handlers. Their main lead came from rumours that he had fallen in with a gang and had quickly risen through its ranks, now controlling a small section of territory within the city.

So, in an attempt to validate these rumours, my players went to a bar on the bad side of town, and waited around inside for an opportunity to present itself. Eventually, a shady-looking Latino lad excused himself from his pool game to go outside for a smoke. The players followed him out and found him taking a piss in the alley next door. They ambushed him while he was "vulnerable" and started asking questions about his boss and, when he refused to cooperate, decided that the best way to extract information was to start slapping at his still-bare junk with a belt.

For those that don't know how much damage a belt can do, here's a quick example. My old art teacher once demonstrated what it was like to use the belt on students when she first started teaching, and why she basically never did it. She did this by crushing a stick of chalk into fine dust with one swing.

Now imagine that on your dick and balls.

Yeah. He answered their questions pretty fast after that. Best he could anyway. Then to add insult to injury they tied him up and threw him into a stinking dumpster before fleeing the scene.

Our Dark Heresy cell detonated the bombs a heretical cult placed on the support structure of a hive suspended above a sinkhole- and sent millions plummeting into the depths, all in order to stop the Greater Daemon the BBEG accidentally summoned from fully manifesting.

It was a pretty cool moment in all honesty, riding out of town with an empty train we hijacked, and detonated when we were a safe distance... Then watched the genocide happen.

Little did we know, we just woke up another Greater Daemon sealed away at the bottom of the sinkhole (which is why the bombs were planted by the heretics in the first place). As such, the planet had to be Exterminatused later.

>>43457831
Pathfinder. During the River unto Darkness Module.
Our Team's Token Elf, a really Naive Lawful-good Spellslinger built like a Sniper, was convinced by the local elf tribe that the group we were working for was kidnapping their tribals and turning into slaves.

Now, the guy OOC Had Autism, and that affected him in that he was incredibly naive about morals, considering most to be just straight out black and white. so the second he was convinced the group we were working for was evil, he immediately left to join the elves halfway through the campaign.

when the rest of us went ahead and stopped off on the final leg of our journey three IC days later, suddenly two elves burst out of the underbrush carrying smoking logs. the elves immediately dived into the nearest buildings, and before we could tell what was going on, both buildings exploded in a shower of gore and stone.

Turns out the crazy motherfucker taught the elves to make gunpowder, and they were using it to suicide-bomb the River Station we were at. the end result lead into a short-lived battle that saw the Tribals population decimated and only two out of seven of the stations buildings remaining. he managed to avoid any moral implications by saying something about how he didn't expect the elves to just get caught in the blast waves, somehow expecting what were literally deep-jungle tribals with almost nothing resembling technology how to work a crude bomb.

he still somehow ended up getting to convinced to join the party again, the only thing that stopped him getting bi-sected is that he gave the party the Gold bars that the tribal chieftan gave to him in exchange for helping destroy the river station.

>>43460233
I would have thought it was fairly obvious that completing a cult's plan for them is probably not the best idea in the world.

>>43460260
Well, in all actuality, a rival cult were the ones to plant the bombs. We thought they just wanted to kill the BBEG while also making ol' man Emps cry or something, and when the entire hive is turning a surreal clusterfuck of Warp phenomena, preserving it is suddenly not a concern.

CP2020:
Some group is selling a new drug. Highly addictive stuff, no one is able to analyse it. We find their warehouse, kill those inside and get away with big amount of those drugs. (I guess the GM did not calculate the value of the stuff at that moment.)

Next we find their lab. Someone burns it to the ground (it was not us) before we can enter.

We don't want to flood the market, so we sell just little amount of the drugs and have enough money for everything we need at that moment.

Later:
GM: What are you doing with those drugs now? No one is selling them anymore, because the lab is down, so in a few weeks every addict is either clean or dead.

Group: Don't care. It's highly addictive, if we sell it in a few months, we will get enough new customers. We can use a new name and raspberry aroma and all will be fine.

GM: And you are the good guys???

Group: Yeah, that's why we use raspberry-aroma.

>>43460295
When we played a romp in CP2020, we, among other things, raided a secret gubment stash in a warehouse for old artefacts, drugs and Fidel's limousine (the location was payment for a job), blew up some rich shit kid gangers (and the street they were, the explosives were a little much), shot up a club, tortured people and more... But since we were taking down a Russian child prositution/snuff film ring, it was okay.

The final battle in a fancy lounge against the power armour wearing russian mob boss and all his associates/present clients was beautiful.

DH campaing, Ordo Hereticus.

We were investigating a serial murderer that liked way too much to enjoy himself in his kills, so we were called to investigate.

One of the things that linked the victims was everybody was listening the same song before they were killed. One of us listened to such song and started hearing voices.

Best way to confirm it? Get a wagon full of civilians, seal it and play the song to investigate all possible effects and wasn't just our acolyte that was a bit loose in the head.

We had to put the civilians down with a flamer. Days later we discovered a lot of the families of the test subjects hired bounty hunters to kill us.

Fair enough.

>>43458633
And you sound like an ass. You don't just take peoples teeth asshole.

Slaughtered a few hundred innocent kids.

Investigating a Wendigo cult supposedly within a highschool. Paid by the principal. Magically shifted into the forms of teenagers.

Several critical glitches later we hosted the prom. Theme? Enchantment under the sea (and monofilament grenades). The entire hall was filled with mushy red. Except the principal, so we had him mushed too. We really fucked up.

>>43457923
>prestidigitation
>prestiDIGITation
Digit

>>43460341
Why not use homeless or orphans?

Played a Werebear lycan Antipaladin in a Pathfinder game. It was an evil themed side game to our main game where we played the hero's when not enough players would show up. Because it was mainly just to have fun, GM let us roll straight 4d6 for stats. Ended up with 28 Strength and 21 Con by level 5.

Party attacked a Dwarven monastery becasue we wanted an evil hideout and figured what better place than a sacked holy place. We snuck in disguised as pilgrims in the middle of the night asking for food and shelter. Once in the heart of the place, we tried to stealthily eliminate the few monks and guards that were tending to us. All hell ends up breaking loose and I end up taking on like 7 guards all by myself. Long story short, I ended up beating them all to death with their own Captain while in hybrid form. After the fight I also threatened to rape another guard into a corpse in my bear forms unless he told us about the traps protecting the inner sanctum. After he spilled the beans we fed him to the Ranger's tiger.

>>43460657
Paradise world and we didn't gave it too much thought. To be fair we realised what we were doing was right in the heretic alley when we had to use the fllamer to fend off the crazies.

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>>43457831
It wasn't intentional but we wound up releasing the crossed infection thing (pic related) in to the world when trying to take out a litch.

>>43459574
Surely you mean the Lead box?

>>43458135
>.to kill his daughter, preventing a marriage that would save his dying house.

Talk about a DM asspull.

>>43457831
>big bad is gonna attack the city
>we have like a month or so to prepare
>wizard kidnaps babies and children
>treats them well, gives them a roof over their heads and warm food, but cages them
>his love is the only love they know
>they revere him as a god
>everyday, he casts haste on them
>haste ages the people it is cast on a year each cast in second
>wizard accumulated an army of manchildren
>big bad attacks
>it's time
>RELEASE THE MANCHILDREN
>a wave of hundreds of manchildren, mostly nude, using only crude spears (since the real soldiers have the real armor and weapons), descend upon big bad's armor
>the manchildren get slaughtered
>but their sacrifice is effective
>we win the day
>the babysnatching wizard is remembered as the hero who summoned a horde of savages on the invaders to act as cannon fodder

>>43457918
Shouldn't you have realized at some point during the interrogation that he was not a vampire with how he was reacting?

>>43458135
Totally fine not to feel bad desu senpai

You deal with wolves, don't complain when you get bitten. If the guy is doing clandestine practices and hiring spies and assassins and shit, he has only himself to blame if his daughter gets killed by people targeting him.

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>>43457831

>>43459586
It doesn't take much thought to kill drugdealers in a game, "I shoot the bad guys" "roll to hit"
pointlessly long and drawn out fantasies of extended magical child-murder. mental torture and suicide-bombing on the other hand take dedicated thought and development which points to a potentially unhinged mind because of how pointless and extended it is to even design such a scenario in the first place.

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>>43457831
>playing VtM Modern Nights
>playing a charismatic, malevolent and somewhat insane Gangrel
>throughout the course of the campaign wind up in hell, and then back on earth
>in the dark ages
>in Carthage
>as Rome shows up to push Carthage's shit in
>the party needs to travel to England
>none of us know how to operate any kind of ship what so ever
>and it's dark ages so crossing the Mediterranean is gonna take a while, and vampires need food too.
>I decide the right way to do this was to have Rome pay for the journey.
>walk into a roman camp, tell the guy who looks like he's in charge I want to enlist
>even after two frenzies throughout the campaign and the resulting beastial features my social stats were so good the head of the camp bought my story and enlisted me, gave me my armor, and told me to report to him at dawn
>steal a helmet with a feather mohawk (pic related)
>go up to a group of human soldiers, tell them I'm a General and that they have all been chosen for a top secret mission back to Rome
>give a long speech about how important this mission is, the good they're doing their country, how good this will look on their resume etc.
>don't do great on the roll
>only about half are listening
>the rest are ignoring me and/or spacing out
>one little shit is picking his nose
>walk up to him
>lightly slap him across the face
>deliberately do a bad roll, no bloodbuffs because my character was literally made to rip people into itty bitty bits
>this little slap grinds his jawbone to dust, he literally is one health away from dying
>all of the other soldiers i was trying to persuade are at attention, listening to every word I say like it was gospel
>christen the one I had struck Slappy, and made him my 'second in command'
>we depart for Rome immediately
>we each bloodbond as many of the soldiers as we can to keep them docile and more useful as sailors
>when I don't show at dawn the base commander realizes something is up
>sends ships after us (cont)

>>43461485
Man, vampire suck.

Seriously though, vampire shit is fucking tiresome.

>>43461485
>by the time the real roman ships had caught up we had eaten several of the "crew"
>we used their corpses as ammo to sink the ships with (we had a very strong Tzimisce with a hell of a throwing arm)
>we wound up sinking a lot of ships this way, mostly roman
>a few pirates
>one of the party had stolen an oldschool spyglass telescope from hell
>it was probably magical but we did fuck all with it other than to see the looks of horror on the pursuing forces's faces when they realized what we were destroying their ships with
>we stumble across a ship going the same direction as us
>up until this point all ships we saw would open fire on us with arrows, cannons, and occasionally magic
>this one did not, although part of that was it was in front of us
>we decide to continue our method of dealing with ships
>tzimisce nails it perfectly, tears a hole in the back of the ship
>i look at the ship through the spyglass as it sinks
>the deck seemed pretty crowded
>and more people kept popping up
>and more
>the lower decks emptied as the people on board realized their ship was sinking
>nobody attempts to attack us at all
>"wait... there's a whole bunch of black people on that boat"
>it was a ship full of refugees from carthage
>saw pure terror in these humans eyes as the ship finally sank below the waves, where the sharks were waiting
>they had escaped certain death at the hands of the romans just to be killed by some random asshole vampires on a stolen ship
>the only roman soldier we had conscripted to not get bloodbonded was Slappy, whose jaw the tzimisce had healed
>he lived for a couple of weeks on a ship full of vampires watching soldiers he had trained with for years get eaten and then used to blow holes in the ships of his allies and innocents
>we ate him last

>>43461629
eh, it poses an interesting storytelling device in that one of the central ideas is that no matter how good your end goals might be, you aren't a good guy. You're a monster who eats people, just trying to live your unlife.

>>43457831

I ate a penguin.

The guilt haunts me to this day.

>>43461735
Are you a polar bear?

>>43461319
That's beautiful.

>>43461768
How did you know my secret shame?!

>>43461319
>>The church member bandaging up the sliced ears is also an elf

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>>43461816

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>>43457918
Similarly, I've noticed that in our "good" campaigns, we do far more atrocious things than in our "evil" campaigns.

I mean, in the last "evil" campaign I played, the most evil thing we did was have an evil necromancer that had a thing for blue eyed children. So he surrounded himself with army of charmed children, and used a cantrip to turn their eyes blue, if they weren't already.

But he never did anything to them - treated them well even - they just kinda acted as a hostage shield when the Paladins came raging in.

Damn pedomancers.

Meanwhile, our paladins have laid waste to whole generations of child goblins and the like, and yeah, tortured and murdered people under the basis that they were "evil". Purge, purge, and more purge, exterminatus extremis.

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It is particularly interesting because my field of study is focusing on how the ideas of the Lumières century and the various revolutions of that period actually made total war and violence without border not only a possibility but a norm. Before that war and violence were a common thing in everyday life but the philosopher of that period held that war was an aberration and thus from that grew the idea that if a war should happen it should be a war to end all the other one, justifying extreme violence and the use of any mean and resource at hand to establish what is estimated to be the perfect society which will end all wars.

In short, smite them, smite them all in the name of eternal peace.

>>43458191

You should have burned the corpse instead, that way the druid can't get his teeth except getted burned.

>>43457831
Be playing dnd 3.5.

I roll a half-orc fighter because reasons, come from the slums because, again, reasons (XP Mothafuckaaas).

So my 1/2 orc's motivation is to be rich. He came from the slums, and he never wants to go back. So I, as a matter of course, becomes a mercenary.

I'm really good at it, because being a half-orc gives me some bonuses to intimidation, and even though I'm thought of as filth, I'm a beast with STR 21. So I naturally end up with a semi stable job protecting this noble from assassins.

Dude is a complete condescending prick, speaking loudly and slowly to me with simple words. He smiles and nods and grins and treats me like an inbred moron, so I naturally hate his ass.

One day I get an offer form one of his enemies. He's noticed that I hate him, so in return fo removing his family I'll get a cushy job with decent pay.

Of course, I say yes.

So when we're at a picnic, I decide to make my move. It's a lovely day, with the willow trees growing over the river in bloom and the dude is eating those tiny sandwiches with his wife and eight year old daughter. The screaming starts when I plunge the expensive sword I was required to wear though his back.

His wive yells at the kid to run, and tries to stop me with her hands. She's pretty shit, so I gut her. Leaving her for dead I chase down the kid. She's absolutely terrified, crying and sobbing for someone to help. I chase her into the river and swim after her.

She's wearing one of those expensive dresses, so it drags her down,and I easily catch up to her. As the GM looks at me with disgust I pick up my dice and ask him if I need to make a STR check vs the girl if I want to drown her.

And that was my lawful evil half-orc.

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>>43462222
Oh fuckin' A I got quads...

>>43459420
>moral of the story.
Heavily armed and armoured people have little patience for whimsy and their paper thin restraint is likely to crumble when exposed to it, letting out a lifetime of horrific violence and depravity.

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>>43457831
I had a classic one once. The two boats torture.

Strap someone between two boats, like a sandwich, only the legs, hands and head outside.

Feed him, then forcefeed him. Honey, to attract wasps into his mouth.

He'll shit and shit more, filling the space between the boats. Flies will come to feast on that. He'll suffer from infections, vermin won't distinguish him from the shit.

Keep feeding him, fibres as well.

Done right, he'll live for about 18 days, before dying from his own overflown filth, gangrene, vital organs consumed by worms, etc. If you open the boats after, most of the living and dead meat inside will be bugs, slurping the brown, stinking bones.

And that is why one should read classic greek literature, /tg.

>>43462270
Was there an actual reason for any of this?

>>43462270
Any reason for it?

>>43462305
Some men just want to watch the world burn.

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>>43462360
That is a piss poor reason used only by the edgiest of edgelords.

>>43462305
>>43462307
To show what you're willing to do to your enemies/those that fail you.

It's an intimidation thing.

>>43462360
>Spending 18 days watching a man slowly shit himself to death instead of doing actual important shit.

>>43457831
As a blackguard, I once interrogated someone by pushing a rod of lordly might's spear form through his hand up to the wrist. Healed it up with the weapon inside and then made the rod change form to the 50 ft pole.

Generally, inserting foreign objects into open injuries and then healing works like a charm.

I guess I killed a few innocents, but really it was more for the objective's sake. It's not about the severity of the act, it's about how hard you play it off as something mundane.

>>43457831
replaced a mans eyes with nipples

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>>43462305
>>43462307
My harlequin not-Pennywise/not-Dr. Frank-N-Furter character needed to gauge how his victim would react to such a display. How that would affect his taste.

He can't just make anyone into a new vessel for the curse. Decarabia required a suitable avatar, the best.

>>43461319
I'm going to use this in my setting.

>>43462460

And also proving that you are so petty, that you rather show off your >:( face than actualy doing shit, as >>43462475 points out.

>>43457831
I did a false flag attack
against a civilian target
to break a ceasefire

>>43462561
I mean, I don't think it's really all that time consuming. You get one/two of your servants to force feed the guy, and you come back for a minute every day to check on him.

>>43462406
And my father:

"The greatest burning is the one that you lit up the match yourself."

I miss you, dad.

>Fighting an Ice Elemental in the backstreets of a small town at night after cornering a mage there
>Quest requires mage to stay alive
>Sorcerer in our party tries to pick off the elemental with a small fireball
>Rolls a one
>Fireball goes far off course and lights up a house
>Quickly forget about it and focus on taking down the elemental.
>House quickly becomes engulfed in flames, occupants are all asleep
>I can't leave since I'm tanking the elemental
>By the time we finish taking down the elemental the fire has already spread to another house
>DM gives up two options - Let the Mage go and try another time or save the town
>Dickass elf rogue with high charisma convinces us to chase after the Mage, since he'll disappear off the continent if we don't stop him now
>Reluctantly agree
>Have to sprint out the town as half the backstreets are now an inferno
>Later hear NPCs talking about how the kingdom's main port down mysteriously burnt down to the ground and almost all the inhabitants with it
>No one knows what happened, most chalk it up to a chimney fire that spread with the sea breeze.
>As a result majority of imported good prices skyrocket up and we're all broke mother fuckers for the rest of the game until world reset.

I fucking hate playing with sorcerers now. Especially since even the sorcerer was eager to get out ASAP, and his alignment was Lawful Neutral.

One time during a friend's homebrew mecha game the whole party except me went to a bar at a space station to celebrate the success of our mercenary companies first mission. I had stayed behind to guard the cargo we had captured.

Anyway, the GM made a passing mention about a hobo in the alley next to the bar. One of the other players decided it would be a wonderful idea to walk up to the hobo and insult him. The GM then decided the hobo would attempt to mug the party using a rusty fork.

The player then laughed and decide to shoot his magnum pistol over the head of the hobo to scare him off.

The player rolled and accidentally blew the hobos head off.

>>43462706
That player sounds like an asshole. Scaring a hobo even if there a dumb bastard is an asshole thing to do.

>>43462520
>not-Pennywise/not-Dr. Frank-N-Furter
Given that these are both Tim Curry characters, I assume you just played Tim Curry, and may in fact be Tim Curry

I once had a pair of players whose characters kept holding hands in public.

I played a kuthonite antipaladin who had kept a few prisoners from our most recent battle in his torture sex dungeon where he would sever their ligaments, turn them into vegetables with poison and then dissect them to learn about anatomy, he did all of this in primitive bdsm gear while he also flayed himself and cried blubbery fop tears about how much his dark god truly loved him. He was a sad strange little man.

>>43462825
It gets worse. A few seconds later a police car patrolling in the area showed up and the cops tried to arrest him. A gun battle ensues. The party kills the two officers and hijacks their car.

Cue the station wide police chase.

The party runs to the docks where I am and use their radios to ask me for back up. I hop in my mech and tear ass to where they are, accidentally crushing and killing tons of random civilians along the way. I get to the street that the party has just turn on too and open up with my mechs gun turning the ten cop cars following them into smoldering wreckage.

>>43462360
You're pathetic and you aren't even original.

Both the quip and the execution method are ripped off, do you just mindlessly copy others?

>>43462854
I wish. Tim Curry was the most sexy person in undergarments for the whole 70s, and then he was the one that made me scared of clowns forever.

It blew my mind when I noticed it was the same actor for both roles. Then, the idea of a scantily clad incubus-harlequin was too good not to use. With some teenaged players insecure of if they're homo or not, you really put the fear into their guts.

>>43461920
I like to think that D&D alignments reflect more how society views a character and how said character views themselves, rather than any actual standards considering cruelty or mercy.

That and I don't actually believe in morality in real life, which might contribute to this line of thinking.

>>43462270
Good ol' scaphism. Never gets old.

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>>43462893

>>43457831
I purposefully afflicted a group of atom-bomb worshipping nutters with severe radiation. I've used severe radiation poisoning as a bargaining tactic (unrelated incident). Horrific scientific experiments. Torture? Used a meat slicer to slowly cut off limbs and then cauterized each wound shut before they could bleed out, finished off by removing eyes, ears, tounge, ect. Kept them alive with an IV and on display for those who would rise against my character.

>>43461811
>>43461830
>>43461811
Games need more systemic racial oppression

[Spoiler] of elves[/spoiler]

>>43457918
Like... Couldn't you have just tried a single smite evil or pressed a holy symbol onto or used holy water, or exposed him to sunlight?

>>43458955
Didn't the AGP do similar with a Rogue Trader once? Because I swear I recall them sabotaging the warp drive and geller field of a ship so that its occupants would all get trapped in the warp and demon fucked to death.

>>43463920

They could have just tried turning undead. If the guy sits there and doesn't run, he's fine.

Even if he's a vampire, the most efficient thing would have been to smite him and use the extra effort to hunt more vampires.

My party had the corpse of the brother of a peasant girl taken out of his grave and burnt said corpse because said guy might have been a werewolf.

We were right, though burning the guy didn't do anything.

>>43460286
Thats not how cultists work, even if it was its likely that you could summon a greater Khorne demon through the sacrifice of thousands in an atrocity.

My players once spent three hours waiting outside a school with a crate full of beer and a packet of skittles

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>>43457831
In our group burning down the local Orphanage as a diversion became somewhat of a running gag and happens in every game at least once.

>>43457831
Our party Rogue shot a bartender in the face after he wouldn't sell his very successful establishment for peanuts.

We ended up burning down half the town and going off to kill the mayor.

Our party face, who was absent that session(and the excuse used for his absence that he was talking with the mayor) was less than happy when he arrived next session.

Our DM had fun with it though and told us not to tell him what happened last game, and started with him peacefully negotiating with the mayor before we suddenly kicked the door down(with Bardic musical accompaniment) and suddenly started trying to murder him.

It went badly though, and ended with the frontline in a pit, me(the Bard) convincing the mayor I was totally on his side the whole time, and the Rogue nearly killed by a coffee table thrown directly at his face(the mayor turned out to be a mid-level Barbarian with a focus on improvised weaponry).

Was a fun game in all though.

>>43463940
Yeah, we did that, and we also released a xenos horror that ravaged a sector to two, but those were two separate occurrences, and the mass murder of crewmen was intentional (since their boss was a dickhead), as opposed to an unintended side effect.

>>43458742
So did you think there was a innocent a fun version of a pedophile?

PM - "Kids sure a cute!"

PC - "Yeah PedoMan, I guess so, with their tiny feet, dimples, and general lack of tact and understanding of the world..."

PM - "...and their youthful genitals"

PC - "OH, HAHA, that's what you meant, I should have known, PedoMan!"

>>43458984
So like the Sioux and buffalo, that's not evil, its just pragmatic and unwasteful

File: big-red-lollipop.jpg (34KB, 2000x1050px) Image search: [Google]

34KB, 2000x1050px

>>43462247
Yeah, pretty much that, right there. Do not fuck with the heavily armed strangers.

Good job anon, you win a mudderfuggin lolly

>>43457831
>Halflings in this area are basically indentured servants
>Idolize member of the party as their savior
>He convinces them to start rioting, getting many killed
>Use riots to cover our illicit activity
>Totally abandon the halflings when we are done

>>43458141
Why not both, its like skeet shooting.

>Starting out new campaign
>Party of three, Half-elf Wizard, Goliath Barbarian, and Dwarf Cleric
>I'm the wizard
>It's not a serious game, as in we joke around a bunch of the time
>Barbarian ends up mixing three random potions together that we got from a bunch of bird villagers we couldn't understand
>Force feeds it to his baby companion he thinks he can understand
>He buries the baby in the ground
>We go to these ruins
>Generic pressure-plate type traps
>Every one happens to drop a bunch of snakes when stepped on
>Dwarf ran ahead and activated 2 of them
>Barb picks my dude up, and decides to run across the traps
>But only after running on every single one
>DM has no idea what the fuck just happened
>72 snakes end up falling from the ceiling
>Decided since we did that shit, a King Snake fell as well
>Wants to duel with Barbarian
>Yes it can fucking speak telepathically to us
>DM crits
>Snake eats barbarian
>Barb wants to become the Snake King
>Crits
Sticks his arms straight through Snake King, as well as his legs
>He's still alive while a barbarian just ravaged his insides
>Barb walking around with giant alive snake king cape
>I shoot my crossbow at the snake's head
>Cleric decides to heal the dying snake so he can't die peacefully
>He's begging to be killed
>Cleric smashes his head in finally
>Barbarian starts trying to give CPR to his head
>Which is just a mangled mess
>Snake just wanted to duel for fun, not to the death
>I start skinning it
>We dine like kings
>Other snakes run away like little bitches

Barbarian bro is crazy though, so it was fun.

>>43457831
During one of our recent Rouge Trader sessions my party glassed city-state to make a point.

Dark heresy group

We captured a low ranking officer of a pdf for a world in open rebellion, locked her in our Interigator's chamber.

After about 2 hours of real time and like 4 days in game, my psyker could not get her to talk, constantly passing test, (later found out she was a very minor blank) So I walk out drained and frustrated beyond belief. The hiver assassin calls next, he walks into the room, locked the door behind himself and started full out groping and being lewd, the group is letting it side at first...uncomfortable with it bit hey, might work. Still nothing...so the guy flips the table on the captive and goes full >rape, whole party panics and tries to get in to stop him, takes almost 6 turns of panicking to get it open, he's already done.


We all left that game feeling dirty.

Well not the assassin player, he was cackling

Page 9 bumpo

>>43457831
First game with new party. Classic entry-level quest so all players can get hang of the new game and each other.
Everything goes fine, came for the pay for the job (hunting down 4 lumberjacks-turned-highwaymen), the party finds the pay inadequate, starts slaying the villagers and monks (the normal, Western ones) who hired them.
Left barely anyone alive after sudden three games about crawling through the monastery over steadily increasing pile of bodies.

My Lawful Good Paladin once purged an entire city because of an outbreak of the Scourge.