You're a remembrancer, you can choose which Primarch you

>>43418474
Fulgrim

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>>43418501
Enjoy your

rape

>>43418474
Take a guess :^)

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>>43418474
Ferrus. He seems like a hard motherfucker but not necessarily a dick. Wish he didn't die like a bitch though. He deserved better.

>>43418708
Yeah Ferrus seems like a decent pick, he'll probably not understand why you make an effort to make whatever it is you're remembrancing look nice, but he probably won't be an ass about it and will only tell you what you're doing is a waste of time once or twice.

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>>43418474

The Khan. Scars actually made him out to be a pretty good guy.

Alpharius. If I'm hired to do propaganda, he seems the guy who would weaponize it and make it useful.

>>43418572
I feel bad for the poor remembrancer who had to try and interview Curze

Leman Russ obviously. Spend all day fighting and killing and all night drinking and fucking bitches

>>43418474
You can make an argument for any Legion, but the best answers are Luna Wolves or Emperor's Children. Remember, this would be before any Heresy. These two Legions were the most favored of all. Obviously Horus was Horus, and the EC were his fucking "children."

Corax.
The only trouble would be finding the guy half the time.

>>43420669
I'm pretty sure that Russ was one of the ones who hated the idea and refused to deal with them.

>>43420713
>Most favored of all

where you get that from senpai?

>>43420765
that made no damn sense to me. Why the fuck would a viking hate skalds?

>>43420965
>>43420965
Remembrancers can't translate wolflandian for wolfshit. Plus, they have Bear to remember the wolfstories of their wolfbattles.

>>43420844
Horus was his undisputed favorite son. He named him Warmaster. He was considered the greatest primarch by all. His legion was the face of the crusade. They were the best, because that makes their fall and the heresy itself a better story.

The Emperor's Children were so disciplined, so martially perfect that the Emperor named them his children. They were the only legion allowed to wear the Imperial Eagle. You could say while Horus was his favorite son, the EC were his favorite legion.

Although all the Astartes were practically seen as gods, these two legions were above the others in accolades.

>>43420965
He hated the fact that they had recording devices and whatnot. He believes that that would lead to forgetfulness and stories should be gathered firsthand and retold by word of mouth.

Checkout Prospero Burns.

>>43421074
That's mindnumbingly retarded. Aren't the primarchs supposed to be wise and super intelligent. Oh wait,

>Black Library

>>43421062
Thought the Dork Angels and Ultramarines were the two that brought the most worlds into imperial compliance? Also Dorn and the Iron Hands were his personal bodyguard legion along with the Custodes, and the Space Wolves were his "get shit done" legion.

Seems like they're more important than the Emperor's Children.

>>43421084
When Bjorn explains it to Kasper Howser it makes sense why Russ distrusts videos and written words and prefers the word of mouth method.

>>43421131
Because it lets him retell history how he wants without objective evidence for things?

>>43421084
mindnumbingly retarded
>Leeman Russ

>>43421143
>>43421149
>30000
>hating on the based wolf king

>>43421180
Anyone uncomfortable with having cameras around is sketchy in my books.

If what you're doing is meant to be a matter of public record, that is not his times killing other Primarchs, then why would anyone have a problem with documentation?

>>43418474
Vulkan wasn't even that great of a primarch to be around as a remembrancer. Like, 20 of them died before that one woman managed to get taken on.

>>43418708
I like this artist, but they have a bad habit of making every primarch bald.

>>43421235
The majority of Primarchs are described as bald though.

He actually gave Khan more hair than he has in canon which I thought was pretty funny.

>>43421231
Probably because Vulkan frequently pushed his and his men's superhuman physical durability to it's capacity. He and his soldiers would be fighting literally inside a volcanic caldera, and his rememberancer would be melting into the ground or something.

>>43421109
>the Space Wolves were his "get shit done" legion.

Thats the Luna Wolves/Sons of Horus.

>>43421219
well desu the Wolves were the ones sent to do the jobs that the other legions would balk at. that kinda stuff is probably not supposed to be seen by the media, same with the Alpha Legion, Night Lords or Raven Guard.

Also the not liking cameras thing is a Fenris thing, not a Leman Russ thing.

>>43421292
Then why was it Russ' legion that was sent to destroy at least one of the "missing" legions and the Thousand Sons?

>>43421318
>Sent to ARREST the Thousand Sons
FTFY

>>43421318

Russ and his boys were the executioners, good at taking down other legions, but the sons of horus were the centrepoint of the crusade. They were the conquerors.

>>43420734
This, I'd follow him into the Eye itself.

>>43421329
Yes, and Horus who as Warmaster and spoke with the Emperor's authority betrayed the Emps and altered the orders.

>>43421343
yeah that's why I'm saying they're the "get shit done" legion. The emps turns to them when something BIG comes up.

>>43421363

>when something big comes up

They fucked up a simple arrest job because they're so blindly loyal and quick to resort to savage violence that they'll burn one of their brother's home to the ground with him and his children in it.

Meanwhile the Emperor turned to the Luna Wolves and Horus to take over the Crusade after his legion spearheaded the entire operation for years.

Space Wolves have got fucking nothing on the Sons of Horus.

Lion El'Jonson seems like he'd be inspirational, and his legion was the first.

Actually, Angron and his Legion would be interesting to document. From orbit, or at least a really long telephoto lens.

Dorn.
Compared with the rest he's one of the most chill.

>>43421408
He really did it because in prospero burns a bunch of his men went berserk and started attacking thousand sons legionaries and Magnus and his boys put them down. Leman being a world class autist swore revenge despite the fact that it was his inbred berserk that started the whole thing.

>>43421438

>bloodthirsty brutes unable to follow orders commanded by an autist unable to admit he and his men fucked up

Yep thats really helping the case.

>>43421438
You have that ass backwards. Some of the TS started mutating because their gene seed sucks and Russ killed them. Magnus got pissed and they fought.

>>43421408
>Space Wolves have got fucking nothing on the Sons of Horus.

except staying loyal to mankind

>>43421480

>except staying loyal to mankind

Well we all know who to blame that on, right Erebus?

>>43421480
nope the wolves tried to attack areas Magnus ordered them not too, the wolves didn't listen because they're a bunch of inbred berzerkers and then the TS started mutating.

>>43421556
Why would Russ follow Magnus' orders? Russ outranks him

>>43421480
>>43421556
It's almost like both sides of this argument/in-universe conflict see only the parts they want to see.

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>>43418708
I'd pick Dorn for pretty much these reasons.

Also I'm biased as a Templar player.

>>43421568
It wasn't Russ at first it was a bunch of his men, and it's not like Russ told them to burn these areas to the ground, they just felt like disobeying the most dangerous individual Primarch because they're a bunch of savages.

>>43418522
I will, im a Brony that often fantasize about a horse sized dong ravaging my innards

>>43421614
by the throne you Thousand Son fan boys are a delusional bunch

>>43421653
Unsurprisingly you wolf fags don't handle reality very well. After all it's hard looking into the mirror and realizing that your just a yiff-hungry fanboy with an IQ similar to the wolves you lust after. It's much easier to lie to yourself.
>I'm the emperor's executioner everyone fears me
>no really
>even though at least four of my brothers are better fighters then I could hope to be.

>>43421711
1. wasn't the SW guy
2. you morons who spew "yiff yiff wolf wolf" in every thread are fucking cancer
3. i don't even have a 3, just want to remind you that you are cancer

>>43421711
To be fair, the idea about the Wolves being the Emperor's Executioners doesn't stem from Russ' individual skill compared to his brothers; rather it comes from his willingness to both take unsavory orders without question and the relentless savagery of his Legion.

>>43421765
Honestly, Emperor's executioners seems like something more suited to the Luna Wolves/SoH.

They're brutal, violent, and absolutely willing to do whatever it takes to be the best.

Look at their forgeworld designs and lore.

>>43421779
>and absolutely willing to do whatever it takes to be the best.

That's the thing though - they were driven to be the best. They weren't necessarily driven to follow the Emperor's orders to the letter. Angron was right on the money when he compared Russ to a dog instead of a wolf - he follows the Emperor's orders (or what he believes the Emperor's orders to be, as Magnus learned to his cost) almost slavishly, simply acting instead of questioning.

>>43421779
>it takes to be the best.

Which is why they can never be the Emperor's executioners. Pride is the worst of sins.

>>43421765
Wouldn't NL's be the logical executioners then? Before they went all traitorous.

>>43421829
Naw, they were for subjugating unruly worlds. They scare the populations into submission with horror and murder.

>>43421829

They had a tendency to hear every order as "terrorize the population until the planet is 50% shit and 50% pants

>>43421779
Russ had a weird relationship with the Emperor.

On one hand I think he's the most loyal of all the Primarchs except for maybe Dorn, and that's both his best strength and weakness. On the other he is such a hothead it's no wonder so many people want to get him outta here and it even extends to Emoney, Russ actually hit the Emperor when he suggested a change in how he ran his legion.

>>43421829
The Night Lords had too much of an agenda - they were a punishment force, unleashed on worlds that the Emperor wanted to make into a lesson for others. They were also prone to inefficient sadism and cowardice when things started going against them. The Wolves, by comparison, just drop out of the Warp and start razing cities.

The only other comparable Legion would be the World Eaters, who were too uncontrollable to be relied upon for this sort of work.

>>43420765
Nigga wat. There is nothing someone like russ would love more than boasting about his feats and have his deeds recorded. He probably had a full host of remembracers following his every move

>>43421889
The Wolves appear to be a bunch of savages but they really aren't, they just embrace and promote that image to make their enemies underestimate them. Russ has contingency plans that he's worked on for years for dealing with any threat, his brothers and their legions included.

>>43421408
> Talking shit about the most loyal legion

> Praising the traitors

Get fucked, heretic. If all the legions were like the SW, Mankind would have conquered the galaxy by now.

>>43421916

>calling me a heretic

My favorite legion are the White Scars, you know why? because Khan wasnt blindly loyal to anyone. He disagreed with the Emperor in some of the most fundamental ways and he had always seen Horus as the most worthy of them to lead, but he didnt just turn traitor because Horus told him too, he sought the truth on Prospero, and when he found it he pimp slapped Mortarion and went to Terra.

Loyalty is what tore the Legions apart, rationality would have saved them.

>>43421916
If all legions were like the Space Wolves, the Imperium would have died long before then.

They should have been like the sensible loyalist legions. The Salamanders, the White Scars, the Blood Angels. The Iron Hands, the Imperial Fists, and Ultramarines to lesser extents for their own respective reasons.

Not questioning anything you're told is dumb when it's to the point of literally not even thinking about something other than how to execute it. The Emperor is close to infallible, but you should still go "But why are you asking me to do this?"

>>43421940
If only Khan had had a mind for ruling/sieges, he could have been warmaster. He was easily the most competent of his brothers otherwise. All he cared about was the war, but he thought critically and intelligently about it. He wasn't prideful or vain either. He just wanted to get shit done, then move on and get more shit done.

All this endless bait and counterbait about muh russ and muh magnus is getting old as shit

>>43422053
lurker here from another board, how long has this been going on? Is this like a staple of /tg/?

>>43420618
Even if it wasn't Curze himself, poor poor remembrancers stuck on a ship with crazy insane rapist-murder-torturers.

>uh, Carl?... Why are you shaking all over? Why are you so pale?
>the things... I've seen... *sobs*

>>43422053
It's a meme, it'll die down in a week or two.

It's also based on a fairly clever circumstance that's been set up by the HH writers. They've presented the same event from multiple conflicting accountents without explicitly stating which is the impartial truth.

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I would pick Iron Warriors and give them the credit they deserved, the art would be dirty, like the trenches they fought through so that others could steal the glory.

It would be awesome to convert their sieges to art eternal, leaving mementos to those that came after and rebuilt these conquered worlds , to show them the sacrifice given for their freedoms.

When they turn I would tell the stories of these very worlds and how they fell once more.

>>43422071
As long as those two legions exist it will

btw fuck ruus and go mangus

>>43421620
Well at least you're upfront about it.

>>43422118
Pretty much.

Honestly I think both are the dumbest fucking Primarchs. They both think they're the hottest shit around.

My favourite Primarchs are, in order,

>Khan
>Vulkan
>Ferrus

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Probably OP's pic. Then just turn in things like this.

>>43422071
Since 2009 when 5th Ed. Space Wolves Codex hit the world.That was when yiffing accusations started. It was only intensified by the HH series with Prospero Burns and Thousand Sons. It was about one event from two sides where both in their own way is the "good guys".

>>43421219
>Anyone uncomfortable with having cameras around is sketchy in my books.

you sound like one of those insufferable "AM I BEING DETAINED" "sovereign citizens" If only due to the fact that they think abso-fucking-lutely everything needs to be recorded

just an observation, not an accusation

>>43422118
>Magnusfag

Opinion discarded desu senpai

>>43418474
Perturabo or Mortarion.

>>43422902
Not see you would survive the amount of toxic fumes and general poison on a pre-heresy Death Guard ship.

>>43421084
>That's mindnumbingly retarded
Well, it IS Russ you're talking about

>>43418474
Perturabo. Let the man have a day of glory, after all that dirty work

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>>43418474
I think the world eaters would be an interesting legion too be attached too. Although, I can't see Angron or any of the legionaries being too happy with a bunch of media students arsing about the ship. What even happened to the world eaters remembrancers? I don't recall any of the books touching on it.

>>43421109
More important != more favored

>No one has said Ultramarines

It's like you all want to die.

>>43418474
The Fists, I'd say their only downsides are that Dorn will tell you exactly what he thinks of your art and that they're yellow.
Other than that they're glorious, they're not ridiculously brutal and Dorn apparently has a fair sense of aesthetics

The EC and SoH were the most highly sought after postings, so I wouldn't want to be there; after those I'd say the Ultras, DAngels and BAngels would be my next choices (even at the risk of getting drunk by a hungry Blood Angel)

>>43423243
Why would I want to remember boring shit?

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>>43423057
We need a new reporter. THIS ONE IS DEAD

>>43418474

White Scars.

>disappear into the beautiful darkness of the void, far away from the crusade, and paint armoured giants roaring across alien landscapes on their bikes

Plus they dug poetry and painting and shit.

>>43423057
>>43423366
>you'll never be a remembrancer attached to the world eaters
>you'll never eagerly make planet fall only to find that it's a ghost town
>you'll never disappointedly wade through the puddle that used to be the planets inhabitants occasional being stopped by legionary squads that want you to take a group picture

Thanks obama

>>43421590
Pre-heresy I would also pic Dorn.

Post heresy not so much

>I've built a moat around my house so deep and big not even you could fill it with the corpses of your own men to get across.
I be t I could. In fact I will do! And then I will walk across their corpses and smack you upside the head!

So he did. Only Perty wasn't in the house. And the house was a bomb.

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>>43418474

I'm the remembrancer who booked Vulkan. He's a pretty fun guy.

It wasnt a public record it was for the legion. All outsiders could get to fuck. Also any warrior that exaggerated his story was seen as a fool and a braggard

Alpha Legion, of course. I mean, i know they've already planned out what i'm going to record a week before i do it, and i'm probably never going to see anything that's either not staged or all according to keikaku, but it'd be fun nonetheless.

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>>43424131

You'd end up like pic related after a week.

>>43418474

You know, it's pretty interesting to mention that Prospero Burns is *very* much like the 13th Warrior (which is a great film) and the original book, Eaters of the Dead. I'm not sure about the 'psuedo-Space Marine' thing that's been popping up a lot, however.

Like, Kor Phaeron is a psuedo-Space Marine. So is Luther. So is Kasper Hawser. You'd think that this treatment would actually be MORE valuable than being a Space Marine, because you have all the good qualities without the excising of humanity that comes with the full augmentation suite.

>>43424163
THERE

IS

NO

CAROL

>Sanguinius
Why would I want to serve in his company? To die or be forever cursed and mentally broken?

>>43424163
That's the best part of it all! I mean, i reckon i'm a little bit more paranoid than most people, and fairly analytical, so they'd have a blast obfuscating and adjusting everything that i'm going to record. Assuming i retain some meta-knowledge (like Omegon, and knowing their speciality) i figure i would have just as much fun.

>>43424163
>>43424175

Shit imagine how you'd react when it turns out Pepe doesnt exist either.

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>>43424131

You'd end up like pic related after a week.

>>43421829

The NLs are a terror weapon. An executioner needs to be a good fighter, be willing to following orders, and to take no enjoyment from the killing. Leman Russ fit the bill. Kurze, however, was about as reliable as a chocolate hammer.

Seriously, if you gave him an order like that, he'd brood about it for years. Russ would go in, kill everyone, and shrug it off as just one dirty job he had to do in the Emperor's name. Russ was simply more psychologically stable.

That's why sadists make poor soldiers. You don't want someone who's going to put his own unique spin on things, you want someone who's quick and efficient.

>>43424214
Why not Alpharius

>>43424209

>youcouldhavestoppedit

>>43423057
Actually Betrayer and the First Heretic are very explicit.

Protip: It involves an airlock.

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>>43421062
Mother fucking emperor.
So the legion which was made from the gene-seed of the guy who was notorious for his hubris gets special treatment to fuel said hubris.
Ant the most favored, most trusted son happens to be the most horrible traitor, and his father, who literally engendered him, didn't see that coming.

>>43424209
Have you ever seen Carol and Omegon in the same place though huh?
Have you ever seen anyone in the same place as Omegon?
Have you ever even seen yourself in the same place as Omegon?

>>43424233

Actually, the World Eaters just told them "Thanks, but no thanks" and sent them home. No violence involved. Angron was explicit about that, oddly enough.

>>43424195
That is until after several months you force yourself onto the command bridge, half starved screaming about how half the people on the battle barge don't exist and that Alpharius is bleeding the Imperium like a stuck pig.

>>43424242
Mmm I need to read that book again.

I really thought they all went "missing" because they were in the way.

>>43424257
Alpharius is dead anon.
He's been dead since the start of the Great Crusade.

>>43424268
Come to think of it, if you got a sufficiently twisted, paranoid mind to run it this would be a fun fucking game.

Your party is a group of ratlings, remembrancers and advisors attached to an Alpha legion ship drawn into a massive web of half real conspiracies created by Alpha Legion marines as a training exercise.

>>43421062
>You could say while Horus was his favorite son, the EC were his favorite legion.
technically speaking he also praised the ultramarines as being the finest example of a space marine legion

it's why the word bearers got so butthurt about them, before that BL nonsense started churning

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>>43421952
>sensible loyalist legions
>forgetting Raven Guard

Either WE to rape and pillage with a bro like Khârn or the A-Legion cause they are also nice people once you are in the guest list.

>>43424587
In his defence, the Raven Guard are incredibly forgettable.

Obviously they needed more remembrancers.

>>43422072
Confirmed for not understanding the Night Lords.

>>43418474
Guilliman. Ultramar seems like it would be comfy as fuck, aside from the Battle of Calth.

>>43418474
Knowing of the danger? Bobby G and his Funky Smurf Brigade. Him being the boss of infrastructure and security, I'd wager the highest chances of survival as well as the most commodities.

Just personal interest? Close call between Perty Boo, Ferrero Mango and the Khan, the former two because I love the mechanised legions and, knowing Perty actually is a man of architecture from the books, I'd actually take a gamble and say he'd have an eye for art.

The Khan because I wanna feel a hawk on my arm, the wind in my hair and the open steppes before me.

>>43424782
Being a remembrancer for the Raven Guard would probably be pretty sweet. They seem a really chill legion and Corax would probably find a reasonable place for the remembrancers in the war effort. Probably also wouldn't hate on you for making art and some of the legionaries might even show some interest.

Would make for some cool dark but noble stories, and black/white artwork picts galore.

>>43424870
This.

Even after the Horus Heresy they treated their serfs better than many Loyalist chapters.

>>43424919
Perty had little interest in what anything looked like. For him it was always function over form.

>>43425061
According to "Angel Exterminatus", that's what he became, but he always had that tiny spark of creative inspiration that aspired grandeur from his works, but he pushed that spark to the back of his mind because the tasks at hand demanded functionality and efficiency.

>>43425105

His characterization is really inconsistent. In The Crimson Fist, he is Autistic Robot Man, utterly single-minded. He's also a really, really vicious guy who has a habit of shooting the messenger, but still has a sense of honor. Like, after a group of Imperial Fists fight their way past his honor guard, he stands up from his Heavy Metal throne (seriously, it has chains and shit) and one-hit kills them with his hammer. The fight is over so quickly they don't even bother to narrate it.

In Angel Exterminatus, which I think was REALLY badly written, he's kind of all over the place. Like, you'd think that Perturabo would be the soulless, compassionless asshole, but instead it's the Lion who apparently got that characterization until The Unremembered Empire.

>>43424782
I'd probably choose Raven Guard too. Probably because they're my favourite legion, but their MO and style would make for something different than "GLORIOUS WAR!" style most Imperial propaganda seems to have. Not sure how they would react for people trying to make pictures and interviewes with them, but this could be fun.

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>>43421590
Frank?

>>43418474
Jaghatai Khan. Because bikes, man.

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Lion - a hard shell of loneliness to peel off and a lot of sexual rewards to reap.

He would be my pity fuck fat chick.

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>>43421055
> Wolf metaphors
> Bear

Many keks were had.

>>43423057
Knowing Angron and his buddies, they probably got eaten.

No, really.

>>43423243
Bloody smurfs.

Except Captain Titus. He's badass enough to warrant respect.

>>43424131
I am Alpharius.
I am Alpharius.
I am Alpharius.
We are Alpharius.

We are the Alpha Legion.

>>43424237
>So the legion which was made from the gene-seed of the guy who was notorious for his hubris gets special treatment to fuel said hubris.
They were called the Emperor's Children before Fulgrim was even found, in part for being recruited from the children tributes of the warrior-nobility of Terra (though he re-confirmed it when he met them) and they won the honour of bearing the Aquila fair and square, for defending the wounded Emperor - and as it happens they were pretty much the perfect legion (being small in number, but noble perfectionists) to act as the heralds and standard-bearers

>>43424237
The Big E was kind of an ass about a lot of things. He was also an idiot about a lot of things.

Not surprised the Heresy happened. Only surprised it took that long.

> inb4 Chaos scum accusation. I back Vulkan.

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>>43424919
> Bobby G
> Perty Boo
> Ferrero Magno

Many, MANY keks were had. Nice naming.

>>43422072
Given the inspiration for Curze, wouldn't it be "the Horror... the Horror" ?

>>43425456
Well, thank you for the compliment. But I think only Ferrero Mango is my original making - Bobby G is a /tg/ classic and I think Perty Boo has jumped up on this board once or twice before me.

Still, I am honoured to have roused thine keks.

>>43425471
I didn't catch that reference, but then I haven't watched every Batman movie.

>>43426174
Not all of Curze's fluff is Batman. "The horror... the horror" are final words of Kurtz in "Heart of Darkness".

>>43426174
Not Batman

It's from Apocalypse Now/Heart of Darkness. This is a lot more obvious if you know the name of the assassin that kills Curze, M'shen.

>Iron Warriors
>Make front page news of the galaxy with my inside scoop
>IW get fame and recognition, are beloved
>history is changed

>>43426337
What would your inside scoop be about, actually? Perturabo's miniatures collection? I don't think he'd appreciate that.

But I agree, IW could use more fame and recognition.

>>43418474
Vulkan...fuck...
Uh Robot Girlyman so I can spread sheet in the forty first mallinum

>>43424228
Alpharius was unreliable as fuck

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>>43421235

IN THE GRIM BALDNESS OF THE 41ST MILLENNIUM, THERE IS ONLY LACK OF HAIR.

>>43425601
Ferrero Magno sounds like the name of a main character in a Spanish soap opera.

gr8 name r8 it 8/10 m8

>>43418474
>but Sanguinius and Vulkan are booked.

Who gives a shit?
I'm rolling with the Ultramarines and big Robby G.

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>>43418474
My life for the Khan

>>43421277
>The majority of Primarchs are described as bald though.

No they're not.
Lion - Hair.
Fulgrim - Hair
Perutabo - Bald
Khan - Hair
Russ - Hair
Dorn - Hair
Curze - Hair
Sangunius - Hair
Ferrus - Hair
Angron - Bald
Guilliman - Hair
Mortarion - Bald
Magnus - Hair
Horus - Bald
Lorgar - Bald
Vulkan - Bald
Corax - Hair
Alpharius - Bald

That's 11 out of 18 with hair, and I'm not even sure if Morty and Alpharius are bald.

>>43421940
>>43421952

>Russ actually hit the Emperor when he suggested a change in how he ran his legion.

Loyal, but not stupid. Russ knew that the Emperor was the only rightful leader of Mankind, and without him they were doomed. But he still did what was needed to get the job done.

Like not fragmenting his Legion and turning it into a crippled caricature that no longer was nearly as useful.

> Blood Angels, Iron Hands, Imperial Fists as sensible legions

Nigga, you what? Raging berserkers who have possibly the MOST defective gene-seed, asshole Marines Inc. who are more loyal to the Omnissiah than the Holy Emperor, and while I love the IF I sure as fuck wouldn't call them sensible. Pain glove, Obsessions, Black Templars etc.

>>43424587
>Posting a Fallen for some reason

>>43427685
There's a clear correlation between baldness and treachery.

>>43424174

> Kor Phaeron

> Luther

> Based SW Remembrancer, who was kept alive in stasis by them

The only one of those three that isn't a Traitor didn't go through the treatment.

So, I'd say your example is that without the full package, you've probably just created an enemy of mankind.

Pert, Mort, or Lorgar.

Pert and Mort are my favorite Primarchs. And Lorgar seems like he would be interesting to write a biography on.

>>43427770
>Luther
>Traitor

>>43427685
>Alph
>bald

thats what the filthy Imperium would like. The master plan is still unveiled.

>>43427770
>The only one of those three that isn't a Traitor didn't go through the treatment.

Kor Phaeron was already a Chaos Worshipper.
Luther turned due to his resentment, which would likely have been even greater if he was still just a man.
The SW rememberancer did not go through the process at all,he just got a new eye and some strengthening to survive SW land.

>>43421779
Again the executioner part comes from an unreliable source

>>43427766
Yup, fucking Vulkan.

>>43428221
I come from multiple sources you anal astronaut. Prospero Burns mentions it multiple times, and in one of the other novels some WB I think are conspiring about some shit and one of them mentions if the Emps finds out they are doomed and "the wolves will be unleashed again"

>>43418474
Alpharius, because I'd want to be useful.

>>43427685
On the money.

But Alpharius just wants you to think he's bald.

So who was right? Magnus or Russ?

I think it was cool that the blood angels had an actual comic artist as a remembrancer.

>>43429847
About what?
Magnus was unequivocally wrong.
And Russ was wrong to follow orders so doggedly and blindly.

>>43429972
Yeah... I keked when I read that in Fear to Tread.
>Remembrancers
>Students of capital-A Art - painters, poets, composers, sculptors, etc, etc
>And one dude who draws comic books.

>>43427685
Isn't mortarion described once as having greasy black hair? At least naturally back on Barbarus, maybe he saves it now that he's in the army.

>>43427685
I don't think Perturabo is naturally bald, but he had to make way for all the augmetics and interfaces.

>>43431078
>Isn't mortarion described once as having greasy black hair?

I don't know, can never tell because if the hood, but I always imagined he'd be cancer patient type bald.

>>43431095
>I don't think Perturabo is naturally bald

I'm not sure if any of them are naturally bald.

>>43420765
>>43420965
>>43421910

>"arm the bastards"
russ hated the idea of the rembrancers

>>43432654
They were a really shitty plot device to shoehorn liberal art types and viewpoints into a cool military situation filled with superhumans.

>>43432781

Except the remembrancers were some of the most interesting characters in the books, which are riddled with shitty "we're so badass" Space Marines.

>>43436031
The only thing I remember about them is constantly getting killed in horrible ways. I don't count Kasper Howser as a remembrancer because he went (sorta) on his own and not on behest of the Imperium

>>43436031
>>43432781
theyre a human viewpoint to give the reader someone to relate to in a book full of characters who are completely alien, even if they look like giant humans with fucked up proportions.

imagine reading a book where its just giant muscle men rubbing their bolters together for 600 pages while yelling heresy

>>43436031
>Except the remembrancers were some of the most interesting characters in the books

Nope, they were all a bunch of libertine weenies.

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Angron.

People pay a lot for that kind of stuff.

>>43421084

I can't help but feel that the idea of the Primarchs being these beings who are prime examples of the best aspects of humanity and can do no wrong is purely a fan thing.

They seem to more be akin to the Greek gods, an example of what happens when you have beings who behave like humanity mostly does and give them incredible amounts of power.

>>43436205
You might be mentally retarded, or 13 years old.

>tfw this thread just devolved into "WHOS YOUR FAVORITE PRIMARCH!?"

>>43436903
Well, my favorite is Vulkan, so I had to pick Angron.

Alpharius because, Alpharius?

Alpharius! Alpharius.
..
...
......

Alpharius.

>>43427795
>write a biography on Lorgar
>the Primarch that spent most of his time writing a theological autobiography
>aka 'The Book(s) of Lorgar'

>>43429993
>Magnus was unequivocally wrong.
Except that one time he practiced sorcery after being told not to by his creator, somebody infinitely more aware of the nature of the Warp and sorcery in general.

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>>43441181
You don't know what unequivocally means do you?

>Vulkan's booked

What the fuck's the point, then?

what did Vulkan and the Salamanders even do?

>>43443159
set people on fire
feel sad about it because that's fucked up
get murdered on istvaan

>>43443159
Generally put the good of the citizens before their own pride and go out of their way to save imperial citizens

>>43418474
Horus or Magnus

>Dont know a lot of 40k's background
>Think that a remembrancer is someone who alters the past by traveling through memories or something when I read the title

>>43443159
>Be the Greenest and the Best
Totally not Orks in Power Armor
The daily rituals of the Salamanders take noticeably longer than other Chapters due to Nocturnean pragmatism

12:00: "Morning" Prayer: The Salamanders are roused to begin the day with a few litanies from the Promethean Cult.

13:00: "Morning" Firing Rituals: The Salamanders practice their firing skills. Usually using flamers or meltaguns instead of bolters.

15:00: Battle practice: The Salamanders descend to the practice cages. Cages have usually been repaired from all the burn damage from the previous day by that point.

18:00: Hammer time: The Salamanders take to the maintenance of their wargear while also forging new weapons and armor.

20:00: "Midday" meal: A light meal prepared by the chapter serfs is consumed. Carolina Reaper peppers are usually a component of this, Habaneros are employed for occasions when the Salamanders might prefer something on the milder side.

21:00: Pimping of the Rides: The Rhinos, Land Raiders, and Predators are pimped out with sufficient bling.

22:00: "Afternoon" Firing Rituals: The Salamanders again take to practicing their firing skills. Again using flamers and meltaguns instead of bolters.

00:00: "Evening" meal: A feast prepared by the Chapter serfs is consumed. The meal usually consists of an ancient Terran fruit called a "Watermelon" and a helping of a certain flightless, avian animal, fried to a crisp. Beverages usually consist of a ancient Terran form of malt liquor called "Old English" or just "Ol' E". On special occasions they may even break out an ancient carbonated drink referred to "Cristal".

01:00: Free time: The Salamanders are given free time from their duties. Some reflect on their duty to the Emperor. Others go and chill with the folks in the Sanctuary Cities on Nocturne and play a game referred to as "Dominoes" or one called "Spades"
.
04:00: Lights out: The Salamanders retire for the "evening".
>Also they are "Black"

>>43436105
Abnett already stated that he finds it hard to portray space marines because of who they are supposed to be. Some of the books managed to portray both remembrancers and space marine sin an interesting way. i really enjoyed Fulgrim like that. But adding humans to outweigh the failure of the authors attempts at portraying space marines in an interesting way is not very intriguing. this becomes obvious when the remembrancers become more interesting and wellwritten than the space marines in the same novel

>>43443282
i never understood why the routines of the space marines were put into a daily format. proper exercixes take several hours and often several days to a week. they are not going to college. they are warriors.

>>43444229
They are chapter knights. So monks that fight.

>>43420669
>fucking bitches

Nope. Pretty sure given their stature and genetic makeup and what Emps did to them, they couldn't fuck. They're not meant to be able to fuck or breed because he wanted them as warriors and wanted normal, baseline humans to prosper, not superhumans.

>>43425042
What? The NL books I've read had them as notoriously cruel and flaky masters, who kept their slaves in line with fear of very real and painful punishments.

>>43444834
>Pretty sure given their stature and genetic makeup and what Emps did to them, they couldn't fuck.
Oh boy, here we go.

No one knows, few people care, and we have only speculation to go on.

>>43421055
>Bear
His name is fucking Bjorn, you mongrel cunt.

And yes, I'm well aware it means Bear. My name is Bjorn. Get it right.

>>43425280
It's more than Fenris is Scandinavia only in WAY harsher planet form. All the names are very sworwegish. Bjorn, Svenn, Halfdan, Tyr, all that good stuff.

>>43444931

We do know because give the augmentations space marines can't get it up. FACT. Even minor steroids in our day fuck up reproduction and shrink your junk, much less the kinda shit space marines are pumped with and other random organs tampering with biology.

Primarchs were also gigantic compared to humans. Either he had a tiny dick or wouldn't even be able to fit it inside someone. And possibly may not even have the desire to DO that. The Emperor never planned to have them breed because he fought for baseline humans. He did not plan for them to be around forever and breed. They were meant to be warriors and to defend humanity. He never intended them to replace people.

The only ones who could potentially do that would be chaos space marines/primarchs. Given they've had similar shit and Slaaneshi marines get their ability to fuck and experience all sorts of other sensations. But I'm pretty sure they're still sterile in that sense.

So, maybe these dumbasses going "YEAH RUSS WAS FUKCING ALL DA LADIES!" need to shut the fuck up. They're wrong for claiming that, not me for correcting them.

>>43445016
>We do know because give the augmentations space marines can't get it up. FACT.
We don't know that.

> Even minor steroids in our day fuck up reproduction and shrink your junk, much less the kinda shit space marines are pumped with and other random organs tampering with biology.
>I know for a fact how near-magical future space tech made by a literal god works on the post-human body
Bro.

>The Emperor never planned to have them breed because he fought for baseline humans. He did not plan for them to be around forever and breed. They were meant to be warriors and to defend humanity. He never intended them to replace people.
>if you're sterile and indoctrinated to put duty before sex, that means you're incapable of sex
Bro.

>They're wrong for claiming that, not me for correcting them.
>I know nothing with certainty, take my speculation as fact
Bro.

>>43445049
>We don't know that.

Yes, we do. But nice trying to refute it. You can still have your fantasies of huge, fat, throbbing primarch cock shoved in your ass and coating you with geneseed, but the fact remains that they can't do it. The Emperor fucked with the genes to ensure it. If this was not the case, space marines and primarchs would have been able to breed and replace people by now. They have not. Why? Because they are unable to do so.

>>43445075
>Yes, we do.
Post your source saying that marines couldn't get it up. You can't say "b-b-but roids!" because we have zero fucking clue how the marine biology would handle shit like that. For all we know their bodies could maintain infinite boners in spite of everything that was done to them.
It's all speculative, and unless you can cite a clear source saying otherwise, you're treating your guesswork as fact.

>The Emperor fucked with the genes to ensure it
Source

>If this was not the case, space marines and primarchs would have been able to breed and replace people by now
What part of "you can be sterile without being impotent" do you not understand?
We don't fucking know.

I don't care if they can fuck or not. I don't have a dog in this fight. I just dislike it when idiots treat their opinions as absolute fact.

>>43445123
>Post your source saying that marines couldn't get it up. You can't say "b-b-but roids!" because we have zero fucking clue how the marine biology would handle shit like that.

Space marines are augmented humans. Normal steroids render humans infertile and with shrunken genitals and an inability to get it up. More organs and 40k level shit? They're done for. Because if space marines could do so, they would have done so and bred and made human/space marine hybrids of which there are zero. There's more xenos and human hybrids in 40k than space marine/primarch hybrids.

>Source

The lack of any such examples anywhere within 40k lore, either official or unofficial. Not a single example of a space marine being able to perform said task and the Emperor stating he wants HUMANS in power and to succeed, whereas space marines are a tool and fighting force.

>What part of "you can be sterile without being impotent" do you not understand?

The part where human biology completely changed to suddenly be able to handle gigantic amounts of chemical castration and being outfitted for war entirely. Even chaos space marines aren't shown to fuck much, and never to actually breed normally. And of all marines they'd be the ones most likely to do so and it'd be an easy way for more cannon fodder. Yet they don't even do that.

>I don't care if they can fuck or not. I don't have a dog in this fight.

But it seems you want the alpha wolf Russy boy in your ass with how hard you're fighting to show that he can do so. Dude, nobody's taking your fantasies from you. You can still fantasize about them if you want. I'm just stating the objective facts here. You can still enjoy the fantasy.

>>43445190
>Space marines are augmented humans. Normal steroids render humans infertile and with shrunken genitals and an inability to get it up
And I repeat, you don't know how the space marine biology functions. They have all kinds of extra shit. Their bodies are super-post-human. You do. not. know.

>The lack of any such examples anywhere within 40k lore, either official or unofficial
Haha, fuck man, really? Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

> Not a single example of a space marine being able to perform said task
Who knows what Wolves means when they talk about "very wild parties"? Regular soldier stories don't necessarily say: "And then my wee wee got hard and I jammed it up into her hole between her legs," because most people have a feeling what went on if a soldier says: "I had a rowdy night" or whatever. You don't know.

>The part where human biology completely changed
Ah, you mean like Space Marines. Okay. Oh, and have you ever heard about vasectomies? Are you trolling or actually this retarded?

>But it seems you want the alpha wolf Russy boy in your ass
Look bro, if that's your fetish, there's no need to project it on to me. We're all anon here. Methinks thou doth protesteth too much

>>43445289
>And I repeat, you don't know how the space marine biology functions. They have all kinds of extra shit. Their bodies are super-post-human. You do. not. know.

I do. Because they're merely augmented humans, not something else entirely. I can go to the wiki and tell you every single organ they have and what it does. None of it has anything to do with reproduction. They even have a gland to create geneseed that is gathered up by apothecaries. If they had another way to create such genes, like semen, they'd be able to gain geneseed and their own genetics way easier and in vast amounts. Wanna know why they don't do it that way and require a new organ to "live on" in the chapter?

>Who knows what Wolves means when they talk about "very wild parties"? Regular soldier stories don't necessarily say: "And then my wee wee got hard and I jammed it up into her hole between her legs," because most people have a feeling what went on if a soldier says: "I had a rowdy night" or whatever. You don't know.

We don't know what they did. But we sure know they weren't having sex.

>Ah, you mean like Space Marines. Okay. Oh, and have you ever heard about vasectomies? Are you trolling or actually this retarded?

Space marines aren't a different species. They start as normal humans and their human bodies undergo those chemical and biological changes. None of which have to do with breeding and the only way to create more of their genes is to have a specific organ to do so given space marines aren't just jizzing every day and overflowing with tons of space marine genetics.

>Look bro, if that's your fetish, there's no need to project it on to me. We're all anon here. Methinks thou doth protesteth too much

It's clearly yours. Someone says Russ fucks? Yeah, you don't say a word. Someone disagrees? Well, shit, now you HAVE to fight about it because that'd ruin your fantasy of the big ol' alpha wolf that you want spraying his geneseed all over your ass.

>>43445353
>I do. Because they're merely augmented humans, not something else entirely.
No, you don't. You can't draw a direct line from roiding humans to super post humans with shitloads of testosterone. It's not the same.

> I can go to the wiki and tell you every single organ they have and what it does. None of it has anything to do with reproduction.
And why? Because we don't know.

> If they had another way to create such genes, like semen
This is the last time I'll say it: being able to fuck is not the same thing as being able to reproduce.

>We don't know what they did.
Exactly
>But we sure know they weren't having sex.
You just said you don't know.

>Space marines aren't a different species. They start as normal humans and their human bodies undergo those chemical and biological changes. None of which have to do with breeding and the only way to create more of their genes is to have a specific organ to do so given space marines aren't just jizzing every day and overflowing with tons of space marine genetics.
>I have no idea what a vasectomy is
>It's literally 100% inconceivable that the transformation into a near-magical super post human designed by a literal god removes your ability to produce live sperm, but not your ability to get erections
This is way beyond asinine.

Unless you can cite a SPECIFIC source - not speculation, not "I think," not guesswork, not extremely poor conclusions based on faulty guesswork, but concrete sources - then we're done here.

>>43445428
>No, you don't. You can't draw a direct line from roiding humans to super post humans with shitloads of testosterone. It's not the same.

Yeah, we can. Because too much testosterone kills your body's ability to make any. And a male without testosterone is a male who cannot get it up.

>And why? Because we don't know.

Tell me which of the space marine organs allows them to get space marine erections. Go on.

>This is the last time I'll say it: being able to fuck is not the same thing as being able to reproduce.

But it is. If space marines can fuck, this means they can ejaculate. If they couldn't, there would be no sex drive. So, tell me, if space marines can create semen and have a sex drive to have sex, and clearly masturbate, why do they need a specific organ to create geneseed for the chapter when they could gather it all up from semen and have stockpiles of geneseed for later use?

>You just said you don't know.

About the events of the party. But given space marine biology, we know sex wasn't on the menu. And even primarch biology for that matter.

And if it was possible, chaos would not be so low on people. They could fuck cultists all day every day and have slews of hybrids. Chaos has no morals. Their only goal is to serve their own ends. Why do they rarely fuck? Why do they never reproduce? Even Slaaneshi marines aren't shown to fuck or reproduce. Slaaneshi cultists, AKA normal human variants, can fuck all day every day if they want. Why was it so strange for space marines in the Emperor's Children to feel any "stirrings" during that massive fucking orgy they had that lead to the noise marines being created? Because it ain't part of their biology or normal, every day feelings and sensations. And even then, only the Slaaneshi marines could feel it at all. So to even have that desire they had to be corrupted by the chaos god of excess. And I'm pretty sure those desires ended up being a fucking bloodbath and not sex.

>>43445525
>Yeah, we can.
No, you can't. They're just not big humans. They're super post humans. You know nothing.

>Tell me which of the space marine organs allows them to get space marine erections. Go on.
The dick? Just because the organ isn't described in a wiki doesn't mean it's not there. Jesus fuck.

>But it is. If space marines can fuck, this means they can ejaculate
You're so ignorant. Ejaculate is not comprised entirely of sperm cells. Google "vasectomy". Also, Big E could easily just have removed their ability to produce sperm.
To spell it out: There exists, right now, men who are able to get erections, fuck bitches, shoot cum in them, and not have babies, because their cum does not contain sperm.

>And if it was possible, chaos would not be so low on people. They could fuck cultists all day every day and have slews of hybrids.
>I still have no idea what a vasectomy is, and I'm so stupid that I think A LITERAL GOD is unable to make warriors able to fuck some bitches in their spare time (and the wolves do have spare time that they just have fun in, it's not 100% only service to the Emperor) during some R&R, while being unable to shoot baby-marines up some bitche's snatch.

I can only repeat that this is way beyond asinine. You don't know. Space marine dicks are, weirdly, a regular subject on /tg/. It always ends with "ultimately, we don't know". You don't know. I don't know. Stop pretending like you know.

I'm done here.

>>43445612
>No, you can't. They're just not big humans. They're super post humans. You know nothing.

They're not post-anything. They're tools of war. They can't breed and so depend entirely on humanity for new recruits. They're not a new independent species or offshoot because they rely on baseline humans to be recruited to replenish their numbers.

>The dick? Just because the organ isn't described in a wiki doesn't mean it's not there. Jesus fuck.

But given the chemicals and things they undergo, we know it wasn't possible. So it must be some other space marine organ that allows this. Which one is it?

>You're so ignorant. Ejaculate is not comprised entirely of sperm cells. Google "vasectomy". Also, Big E could easily just have removed their ability to produce sperm.
To spell it out: There exists, right now, men who are able to get erections, fuck bitches, shoot cum in them, and not have babies, because their cum does not contain sperm.

Last I checked, space marines do not get vasectomies as part of the process to turn them from normal human into a space marine.

>I can only repeat that this is way beyond asinine. You don't know. Space marine dicks are, weirdly, a regular subject on /tg/. It always ends with "ultimately, we don't know". You don't know. I don't know. Stop pretending like you know.

We do know. And so do you. Hence why you're avoiding noise marine history and the very story that explains how fucking weird it was for space marines to feel lust, and how they handled that lust by shedding blood rather than just fucking.

http://warhammer40k.wikia.com/wiki/Noise_Marines

http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Noise_Marine#History

Get fucked, you headcanon fetishist. Primarchs and space marines can't fuck or reproduce. Deal with it and shut the fuck up.

>>43445353
>>43445289
So if we look at the question of space marine erectile dysfunction semi scientifically, two of the 19 implants involved in the creation of space marines release hormones that could have an effect on penis functionality.

>Ossmodula

>Phase 2: A small, complex, tubular organ, the ossmodula secretes hormones that both affect the ossification of the skeleton and encourages the forming bone growths to absorb ceramic-based chemicals that are laced into the Marine's diet.[1][2a][3] This drastically alters the way a Space Marine's bones grow and develop. Two years after this implant is first put in the subject's long bones will have increased in size and strength (along with most other bones), and the rib cage will have been fused into a solid mass of bulletproof, interlocking plates.

>Biscopea

>Phase 3: This small, circular organ is inserted into the chest cavity and releases hormones that vastly increase muscle growth throughout the marine's body. It also serves to form the hormonal basis for many of the later implants.

Now, as far as I can tell there's no clear analogue to the ossmodula hormones in the real world, but i have a hard time seeing where bone affecting hormones the phrasing on the biscopea implants makes me believe the closest analogue is something like Human Growth Hormone although another possibility is a testosterone like hormone.

>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Growth_hormone#Function

Going by the wikipedia page and some limited googling erectile dysfunction is not a sideeffect from too much HGH, it did however seem to result in increased penis size in humans in trials.
>http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/6406387

Excessive testosterone on the other hand it seems can result in infertility through the suppresion of spermatogenesis which is the creation of new sperm, meaning it does not prohibit the "act" but simply means they'll be shooting blanks.
>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Testosterone#Other_2

continued

>>43445867

>people this desperate to justify their primarch and space marine fucking fanfics

Wow.

>>43445867
Now, if the space marine are able to reproduce that raises the question why they need the geneseed, could they not simply breed to create new space marine?

Not as far as I'm aware, no where in the process of the creation, is the genetic code altered. With regards to the effect on potential offspring the implants are equally as hereditary as a mechanical arm replacement.

>>43421292
They're the "Get shit done and keep the locals on side" legion. The Wolves were more "Get Shit DONE"

>>43436322
Plus you might get an interview with a certain swell guy.

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Get sent as a remembrancer to NLs, interview pic related.

It would be either terrifying or absolutely hilarious.

>>43420669
I think the Space Wolves didn't like remembrencers at first. A least they wouldn't dump them in space like the World Eaters probably did, but art really wasn't their cup of ale.

That was before the Heresy though. Afterwards, they started liking stories of the old time and gained a newfound appreciation for them. So they put them in the freezer and occasionally thaw them out like Bjorn for story time. Though most of them are probably from Propero, since they likely threw their own assigned ones away beforehand.

>>43445867
>rib cage will have been fused into a solid mass of bulletproof, interlocking plates

never understood this part

how can they even fucking breathe

>>43447039
I think they're supposed to be more like interlocking plates that overlap each other than a single fused cage.

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>>43447039
Well they do have a third lung on top of two hearts. Besides that I imagine their muscles are strengthend to compensate for the weight.

>>43446105
Based Sevetar.

>>43421620
/mlp/ is that way -->
remove yourself

>>43447382
I think he was referring to the fact that the ribcage needs to expand to allow lungs to inflate with air, and that's possible thanks to the ribs structure. a solid bone slab can't do that

This is what I would paint.
>Ultramarines
A big, nearly floor to ceiling painting of Guilliman, standing in a fanciful throne room, with his finest men aside him. Next to him, or in his hand, a copy of the Codex Astartes.
>Dark Angels
The Lion and Luther, in the heat of battle, fighting as brothers, great squadrons of jetbikes roaring across the sky behind them.
>White Scars
The Great Khan, sword raised in one hand, on his mighty warbike, belts of skulls of worthy prey flowing behind him. His bike belching flame and smog as he roars across the battlefield.
>Imperial Fists
Dorn, quietly surveying the skyline of Terra at sunrise, atop a high spire of the Imperial Palace.
>Iron Hands
Ferrus and a retinue of his men, along with a massive crawling fortress, trekking along the gray and smog-choked surface of Medusa.
>Blood Angels
A portrait, head to toe, depicting the beauty of winged Sanguinius in his ornate, gold-bedecked armor.
>Space Wolves
The Rout himself, and his kin, in the thick of bloody combat on a snowy planet. Russ heaving his mighty blade above his head, preparing to behead a foe, or render them asunder.
>Raven Guard
Corax, quietly and thoughtfully observing the aftermath of a battle (perhaps even Istvaan). Black-armored figures litter the ground around him. Carrion birds sullenly feast on the dead Astartes.
>Salamanders
Great Vulkan at work in his forge, hefting a smith's hamner to pound a molten hot slab of adamantium into a blade.

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>>43445049
>>I know for a fact how near-magical future space tech made by a literal god works on the post-human body
>near-magical future space tech made by a literal god
>a literal god

When will this fanfiction meme die?

>>43436105
>imagine reading a book where its just giant muscle men rubbing their bolters together for 600 pages while yelling heresy

That would be the funniest porn parody ever

>>43449316

> Brother-Captain, my bolter is in immidiate need of an oiling
> Didn't you excercise the proper maintanance ordeals before going into battle, brother?
> I did Brother-Captain, but apparently the lubricants dilevered are of inferior quality, may I take some of yours?
> Sure Brother, take whatever you need!
> Yes, Brother-Captain, CLEANSE THE HERESY!

something like that?

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>>43450503
The worst part is that could almost be a straight quote.

I'd say Blood Angels, but the idea of being smacked around by Big Sangy's wings every time he turns around is not a pleasant thought.

>"Mi'lord-"
>"What is it?.. Remembrancer? Hello?"
>"D-down here mi'lord... bless you for striking such a lowly remembrancer as I..."

>>43427028

>give alpharius an order.

>watch in the distance as your supply lines are destroyed and chaos cults spring up instantly

yeh nah no thinks

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>>43443282
>18:00 Hammer time

>>43444948
Hi, Bear!

>>43444948
>My name is Bjorn
>not Björn

Go sit on a viking helmet's horns you faggot fake-viking