KANT-O-CELLE QUEST: THE MOST EXCITING MEETING YOU WILL NEVER HAVE

FIRST POST

>>43203074
>[ ] Poor girl's feeling uncomfortable in the HALL OF INFINITE BRASS. Shouldn't have put her on the spot like that. Give her a chance to slip out early.

>>43203074
>[ ] Poor girl's feeling uncomfortable in the HALL OF INFINITE BRASS. Shouldn't have put her on the spot like that. Give her a chance to slip out early.

>>43203074
>[ ] ... nope. Once glance an attraction does not make. Test this theory.

Also...first? Maybe?

>>43203074
>[x] Poor girl's feeling uncomfortable in the HALL OF INFINITE BRASS. Shouldn't have put her on the spot like that. Give her a chance to slip out early.

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>>43203074

>>43203083
Finally! You haven't had much luck with that this far, but I suppose even a blind pig finds an acorn now and then ...

>>43203074
[ ] Poor girl's feeling uncomfortable in the HALL OF INFINITE BRASS. Shouldn't have put her on the spot like that. Give her a chance to slip out early.

>>43203074
>[x] ... nope. Once glance an attraction does not make. Test this theory.
INB$ Navyfag

>>43203074
>[x ] Poor girl's feeling uncomfortable in the HALL OF INFINITE BRASS. Shouldn't have put her on the spot like that. Give her a chance to slip out early.

BRASS FROM THE ASS

>>43203074
>[ ] ... the traffic cone was right. Naka was *right.* Oh, shit, I have to head this off

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>>43203108

>>43203083
GODDAMN NAVYFAG! 23 SECONDS. HOW?!

>>43203074
[X] Poor girl's feeling uncomfortable in the HALL OF INFINITE BRASS. Shouldn't have put her on the spot like that. Give her a chance to slip out early.

I know this is what Demetrious wants. The Caps do not Lie.

>>43203074
>[ ] Poor girl's feeling uncomfortable in the HALL OF INFINITE BRASS. Shouldn't have put her on the spot like that. Give her a chance to slip out early.
Look, right in front of the collected brass and Intel spooks, and the Admiral, is not a place to lose our shit or to act all emotional. Professional and precise. We will deal with this in private, in our office.

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>>43203074
>[x] ... the traffic cone was right. Naka was *right.* Oh, shit, I have to head this off.

>>43203074
>Poor girl's feeling uncomfortable in the HALL OF INFINITE BRASS. Shouldn't have put her on the spot like that. Give her a chance to slip out early.
Waifu-neutral choices are environmentally friendly

>>43203154
>We will deal with this in private, in our office.

You mean... how feelthyhornet described it being, ah, 'dealt with'?

>>43203161
Holy shit this is beautiful

>>43203154
>Professional and precise. We will deal with this in private, in our office

You just want that write up to become canon kek.

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>>43203161

LITERALLY LAUGHED OUT LOUD.

HIS EXPRESSION.

HIS FUCKING EXPRESSION.

HIS HAIR.

THE EXTENDED MIDDLE FINGER.

*HIS FUCKING FACE*

>>43203161
Ace work, holy shit.

>>43203074
[X] ... nope. Once glance an attraction does not make. Test this theory.

>>43203162
Precisely.

They also maximize Demetrious's amusement. Which is my goal.

>>43203161
Magnificent.

>>43203074
>[ ]Ask Akagi or Hamp. They're the ones who've manifested their Hulls fully.

>>43203074
>[ ] ... nope. Once glance an attraction does not make. Test this theory.

We can't treat her like a child in front of the brass. It's disrespectful.

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>>43203074
>[X] ... nope. Once glance an attraction does not make. Test this theory.
>>43203161
>the tiny little Makita
MY SIDES

Even if you want to waifu the BB, teasing her in front of everybody is probably the worst way to do it.

>>43203074
>[X] ... the traffic cone was right. Naka was *right.* Oh, shit, I have to head this off.

All hands, panic stations.

>>43203161
You sir/madaam are a hero

>[X] Poor girl's feeling uncomfortable in the HALL OF INFINITE BRASS. Shouldn't have put her on the spot like that. Give her a chance to slip out early.

WE SEE NOTHING, WE HEAR NOTHING, WE KNOW NOTHING.

>>43203074
>[ ] ... nope. Once glance an attraction does not make. Test this theory.

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>>43203074
>[x] ... the traffic cone was right. Naka was *right.* Oh, shit, I have to head this off.

IT'S TIME

>>43203074
Okay, some thoughts.

Option 3 doesn't make sense. She's a flagship, brass shouldn't bother her. She's literally had admirals living in her for years. I'm too tired to try and phrase that in a way that sounds less lewd.

Options 1 and 2 are basically two angles at the same conclusion, the latter being a bit more conservative and making less assumptions. I say that an attraction is near-certain, but whether it's of the romantic or platonic variety still has some question marks. So let's go with basically Option 2, and dig a little more BUT I think we ought to do so in private. Flirting with a battleship/sacred war memorial or even investigating possibilities in front of others (especially others that outrank us) seems like a really bad idea.

I also think we need some admiral-to-admiral time with Goto to talk battleships and their assignations (though perhaps a different word would describe Kongou) so perhaps buying some time (Option 3, though for a different reason) is a good play.

Just some thoughts...

>>43203247
That too, yeah.

Though... Yeah, the HALL OF INFINITE BRASS is still winning. We are safe.

>>43203074
>[x] ... nope. Once glance an attraction does not make. Test this theory.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBYxPsvbEIg

It's time!

>>43203074
>[ ] ... nope. Once glance an attraction does not make. Test this theory.

>>43203074
>Moving along swiftly to the next brass tack item

VOTES. CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALED

>>43203108
A gif for ants?

>>43203268
She's a ship, yes, but she's also a girl.
That's like, literally the premise here. Their personalities are informed and influenced by their service, but it extrnds far past that zero point

>>43203074
>[x] ... the traffic cone was right. Naka was *right.* Oh, shit, I have to head this off.
i just hope something finally goes right tonight.

>>43203074
>[ ] Poor girl's feeling uncomfortable in the HALL OF INFINITE BRASS. Shouldn't have put her on the spot like that. Give her a chance to slip out early.
This is neither the time nor the place to have this particular conversation. Though I don't know when/if we will have it. But not in front of the Commander 7th Fleet.

>>43203074
Put her under duress. Akagi saved the Hornet driver because he was going to bite it. Hamp got out of Davey Jone's rack and back with his Hull due to some insane bosun yelling at him. Extreme stress, PTSD inducing basically, such as being dive-bombed (hue) would/might trigger the shipgirl bullshit.

Hmmm, I'm always leery of votes without some justification.

HALLS has 9. Traffic cone as...3 and Nope has...8.

+ 1 Traffic cone and +1 HALLS after PF called the votes.

Close run.

>>43203074
>[ ] ... the traffic cone was right. Naka was *right.* Oh, shit, I have to head this off.

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Havings shitty shitscribble.

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Well with that out of the way:
Nuinui best Nui.

>>43203322
>due to some insane bosun yelling at him
>insane bosun
Settle is no longer a flag rank fucker

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>>43203161
Alright, that seems more accurate than mine.
>>43203074
[ ] Poor girl's feeling uncomfortable in the HALL OF INFINITE BRASS. Shouldn't have put her on the spot like that. Give her a chance to slip out early.

>>43203322
So... the solution is... to traumatize Arizona?

... That's a terrible idea. Horrible even.

>>43203357
Bentus is against it so it must be a good idea.

>>43203074
>[ ] Poor girl's feeling uncomfortable in the HALL OF INFINITE BRASS. Shouldn't have put her on the spot like that. Give her a chance to slip out early.

as much as i want to call her a traffic cone again

>>43203351

the fairy's expression is the best goddamn thing in this one

like

just

that CONTRAST

>>43203322
how drunk are you?

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spooped

>>43203074
>[X] ... nope. Once glance an attraction does not make. Test this theory.

>>43203382
...

>>43203393
Ah, so it wasn't just me?

>>43203382
You fool! That's just what he wants us to think!

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meanwhile...

>>43203422
Either the guy is trolling or he is drunk like that one guy who wanted to kill Wille to punish us.

Speaking of Hamp, it's worth remembering that he didn't save our asses by being some amazing supership. He's got the same size guns as the Takaos, and a roughly equal belt. What won that fight was him being fresh and in the right place at the tight time

>>43203322
Actually, this makes a great deal of sense. BUT given that we're talking about Arizona, it's a terrible idea.

On the other hand, that may be EXACTLY the argument we need to disqualify Arizona.

>>43203357
>>43203393

Akagi manifested due to wanting to save the Hornet driver, right? Hamp came back cause some dude was sounding the GQ alarm while kicking the rack out from under him. It's pretty simple really. Full mahou shoujou transformation is only possible under stress.

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WHEN

>>43203469
Well, Demetrious is drunk... 85% of the time during these quests.

>>43203477
There is a logic to it, but I find anything that relies on traumatizing a humanized BattleShip is a bad idea.

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>>43203416
Insufficient spoop.

>>43203470
And the sheer luck to pop up within the scarily short range band at which his 8" guns could penetrate the Abyssal QM's armour.

A little further out and everyone would be dead.

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Quick question someone in this thread might have an answer to. I know that USS Saufley (DD-465) played a role in the movie of PT-109, but I don't know what she did. As the only Destroyer I can find participating, I expect she played the roles of at least one of the Japanese Destroyers present, but I'd like confirmation.

In particular, I want to know if she cosplayed as Shigure to represent the latter's attempt on JFK's life.

>>43203477
Oh, you mean we can bring arizonas hull back by putting her under extreme distress. I see what you're going for but why don't we just ask Akagi how she did it before pulling Ari's hull to the surface along with the trauma.

>>43203477
>Hamp came back cause some dude was sounding the GQ alarm while kicking the rack out from under him.

I thought Hamp came back because he heard the sound of Settle's tremendous rage and hatred echoing through the Warp?

>>43203510
Like I said, right place at the right time

>>43203492
she's back you silly git
>>43203340

>>43203506
100% agreement. The stress idea is probubly correct - although some form of wish magic would have similar symptoms since it requires wanting something very badly, which would manifest in highly stressful situations.

Regardless, bad idea with our present BB. As I said above, maybe that's our way out of this conversation. Put forward the theory that it requires a high stress life-or-death situation and the idea will promptly be vetoed by Admiral Thomas. Leaves us in the clear.

>>43203555
He did. Hamp was also kind of sleeping at the bottom of the ocean. So it can be attributed to the bosun yelling at him to get the fuck up.

>>43203539
>>43203506
>it's a bad idea
We're already sending them off to fight eldritch horrors from japan.
>just ask Akagi
It's what I've been wanting to do but Settle is holding the Idiot Ball.

>>43203470
He does, however, have better turret protection, better fire control thanks to radar, and much better AP shells.

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>>43203492

Whenever Massachusetts, North Carolina, and Texas decide to wake up.

>>43203620
Against a Battlecruiser with 13.5" guns at point blank range, none of those factors make much of a difference.

>>43203470
better guns

better FCS

better damage control

more logically placed armor

better AA

you name it, hes got it

>>43203619
I'd just like to point out that no, the fact that we are waging war against Cthulhu's daughters with reincarnated warships is not a bad idea, it's a crazy one because it works.

>>43203657
except for the fact that, you know

his AP shells can actually penetrate it?

>>43203657
The better performance of Hamp's guns and shells did make quite the difference in that fight, actually.

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>>43203509


Is...is that an Abyssal nuclear carrier?

>>43203619
True. In the end, it depends on our risk assessment.

Which, need I remind you, is hilariously bad.

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>>43203697
I'll bet the hulk of CVN-65 is under constant guard, and for good reason.

>>43203695
>>43203682
That's a factor of the extreme close range the scrap ocurred at. In that close, even the nipshit would have penetrated. The difference is that hamp had a better range band to work with - not that it mattered, since he was functionally immobile for the fight.

>At LA, Settle took the Higgins on a torpedo run because he didn't think the torps from the ASROC would track the Abyssal's screws.
>At the Bonin Islands, we saw that that exact tactic works perfectly well against Abyssals
Hindsight's a kick in the dick

>>43203738
No, Bentus, it'd have to get exponentially better to even be hilariously bad...

>>43203755
>anon isn't voting the way I want

everyone panic our perfect quest run is in danger

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>>43203738
Emphasis on hilarious.

>>43203748
At bonin you had software upgrades to make it possible from the 18 months of battle experience.

At LA, it probably wouldn't have worked.

>>43203747
>That's a factor of the extreme close range the scrap occurred at.

10,000 meters isn't "close range" for cruiser battles, that's just about the average. Sure you can shoot at things 20,000 meters away with your 8" guns, but it won't do jack shit.

> In that close, even the nipshit would have penetrated

Except for the part where they literally can't.

>[ ] ... the traffic cone was right. Naka was *right.* Oh, shit, I have to head this off.

>>43203746
>CVN-65

Just how long is it gonna take dismantling Enterprise, anyway? And how are they gonna dispose of the radioactive bits like the reactor?

>>43203678
I'm kind of thinking there is different triggers for each shipgirl/guy too. Hamp is a guy who gives very little fucks for instance. Actually forcing him to Give a Fuck may be his trigger. Settle yelling at him to get out of the rack as it was.
>>43203738
>hilariously bad
You mean shoot our sidearm into the ceiling type deal.

>>43203755
... I wish I could refute that. But you're completely right.

>>43203773
It certainly is for me. According to GhostDivision and Demetrious, it also is to them.

>>43203783
It was well within 10k metres. Were you even paying attention?

>>43203697
No, just regular old souls-of-the-wailing-damned-forever-doomed-to-a-watery-grave. Unleaded.

>>43203792
>And how are they gonna dispose of the radioactive bits like the reactor?

Drop it in Ukraine

>>43203792

They're already in the process of yanking her reactors. Estimated time for complete razor-blade treatment is five-ish years.

>>43203812
That's rather cruel to Ukraine.

>>43203812
Fukushima. Japan's spewing of trillions of tons of radioactive seawater caused this mess. Instead of a radioactive lizard, we get Cthulhu-ships.

>>43203830
They're used to it

>>43203792
Reactors (actually, the entire reactor compartments) will be buried at the Hanford Site, just like all the other nuclear ship reactors have been (except for SSN-575's original reactor, but we don't talk about that).

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Did you guys know the US Navy actually named a ship after Benjamin Franklin? CV-13, joined the war in January 1944. Imagine if that carrier comes back as a ship BOY. Imagine if he's got ol' Ben Franklin's personality. Dude got around, mostly chasing milfs. The thought makes me giggle just a bit...

>>43203746
I'd be more worried about CV-66.

It's litterally the most modern ship that can come back. It had the capability to launch F-14s, F-18s and AEW.

>>43203830
No one who matters cares.

>>43203657
Except that those heavier AP shells have more penetrating power. Which means they can get through more armor and potentially blow up something important. Like, I don't know, the magazine?

>>43203861

>sealing it in a 30-foot high stainless steel containment vessel, towing it out to sea on a barge, and then sinking the barge at a point about 120 miles due east of Maryland in 9,100 feet of water.

ok navy, what the fuck

>>43203875
I remember skimming over your SB posts about it- wasn't it actually named for a place that may have been named for the dude, or something?

>>43203875
Ben Franklin/Houshou.

>>43203804
Hamp came back when the battle-cruiser was at 10,000 meters. It got closer from that point and was engaged by him the entire way.

The Jap guns wouldn't be able to even hole the armor on her without the shells being broken up until about 4-5,000 meters, and that's only if shes completely flat on to them. You can thank their anemic AP shell velocity and shitty steel quality for that. Meanwhile Hamps been poking holes in her the entire time.

>>43203897
Different dude made those posts, I was just re-reading them on SB.

>[ ] ... the traffic cone was right. Naka was *right.* Oh, shit, I have to head this off.

>>43203886
At the ranges the fight was taking place (WELL WITHIN 10k metres, not at), the AP on the nip cruisers would've done the same job.

>[ ] ... the traffic cone was right. Naka was *right.* Oh, shit, I have to head this off.

>>43203875
I'd be more worried about Andrew Jackson.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/USS_Andrew_Jackson_%28SSBN-619%29
The man was a straight-up lunatic in a good way.

>>43203889
It's probably fine

Don't worry about it

>>43203074

[X] ... nope. Once glance an attraction does not make. Test this theory.

Oh fuck I hope this is the positive option oh fuck.

>>43203897
It was Benjamin Franklin. USN carrier naming has always been all over the place.

>>43203886

Counting on hitting a magazine is kind of something not to rely on.

>>43203074
[x] ... nope. Once glance an attraction does not make. Test this theory.

>>43203889
Well, it WAS the 50s. Back then, doctors said that cigarettes were GOOD for your health.

>>43203912
>>43203928
Ok I hate when people shout about the samefag bogeyman but m8.
m8. I can't even believe this is serious

All those late votes, all those tears.

Ahhhhh. It fuels my hydrogen reactors.

>>43203889
It's a long way to the marinas trench.

>>43203952
Named for the sail frigate Franklin, actually. THAT was named for Ben, but the carrier wasn't. Technically.

However, the boomer WAS.

>>43203926
the japs 8" AP shell CAN NOT, read;

CAN NOT hole a 9" thick belt beyond 6,000 meters.

At 5,000 meters the shell will penetrate, but be broken up and do almost nothing.

Only at 3-4,000 meters can it actually penetrate and explode.

They would have died without doing shit all.

>>43203875
Fuck you and fuck whoever originally posted that. I couldn't get the image of Ben Franklin in a bikini out of my head for the rest of the day.

>>43203892
>AdvancedASW.jpg

>>43203912
>>43203928
You do know that the vote was called right

>>43203952
No, you're thinking about the SSBN (a NUCLEAR SUBMARINE). The US Navy only used the Franklin part up until then.

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>>43203879
It hasn't got as much name recognition, though. Gotta remember we're dealing with spirits, not just exotic war machines.

>>43203979
Someone explain to me why we don't give this person more shit again?

>>43203987
Yeah, nah.

>>43203994
I actually posted about Theodore Roosevelt hijacking the Ship Boy incarnation to come back to life.

He'd do it. You know he would.

His namesake not sunk/decommissioned yet? Wouldn't stop him.

>>43204010
Our collective blood pressure is already too high and he doesn't even give good responses to being shit at.

>>43204010
Because we dont care?

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>>43204010

>>43203979
...wow, way to be a dick about it.

>>43204010
He's a faggot, but he's a harmless faggot

>>43204010
Nice bait, brah.

>>43204010
He's one of the less shitposty tripfags, and if we can't make the others leave we have no chance of getting rid of him.

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>>43204010
Try the report button.

>>43204039
I was on the other side once, I revel in returning to the right one.

... Okay, it was that or calling them slowpokes. I went for the less dated one.

>>43204010

There is nothing wrong with what he did. Don't samefag after the vote is called, don't get made fun of for being an obvious faggot.

>>43204074

Alright, I give up. I don't get the joke behind this picture.

>>43204004
It may not have as much recognition, but it is the largest warship sunk (by both tonnage and length) and it has the most advanced aircraft compliment and is the easiest to upgrade (remember how we were able to re-equip harder with better torps? we can literally do the same by giving her super hornets.)

If she comes back as an enemy then we are so fucked.

>>43204010
Planefag said he's cool in one of the earlier threads. And bentus is pretty bro-teir as far as name fags go.

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>get home just in time for kant-o-celle

>>43204069
>tripfag
Hah

>>43204010
Because he is an autistic faggot, and most people here can identify with that.

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>>43204097
I don't think there's a joke.

Keanu Reeves deserves to be happy

>>43204116
I will give you that PF said he's acceptable (likely to get us to stop arguing), but that doesn't remove the fact that he's an annoying faggot.

>>43204140
Oh hey, you're right. I didn't even realize he didn't have a trip.

>>43204097
The joke is Crix is a fag.

>>43204179
Herp. Derp.

>>43204116
Thank you! I do try.

As for our late CV-66, we'll see.

Oh, and regarding Real People using the Ship Girl/Boy incarnation to return to life, Ghost Division reported that Demetrious giggle insanely upon hearing of our ideas.

>>43204179
Oh you son of a bitch.

>>43204179

AND NOW WE KNOW THE TRUTH

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>>43203996
Some of the Chinese ripoff girls designs are amusing.

>>43204178
If we didn't allow "annoying faggots," none of us would be here.

Clearly to preserve board culture we must all conform to being enormous faggots.

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>>43204181
r u d e

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>>43204026
You know you can literally look up the exact figures for a guns performance, right?

20 cm/50 (8") 3rd Year Type No. 2


Range
Side Armor

5,470 yards (5,000 m)
9.1" (231 mm)

---
8,750 yards (8,000 m)
7.9" (201 mm)

---
10,940 yards (10,000 m)
7.5" (190 mm)

---
19,690 yards (18,000 m)
4.7" (120 mm)

---
32,150 yards (29,400 m)
2.9" (74 mm)

---

>>43204199
... That I don't a trip, like you?

Well, since apparently I now need one. Here it goes...

>>43203987
>9" belt

Fun Fact: Kongou and her sisters, as built, only had an 8" belt.

>>43204196
Now you know why I have a trip now?

>>43204203
>>43204228
Anon, don't pretend there's more than one of you. You're not even trying to hide it.

>>43204238
Okay, okay, calm down now. We get it.

>>43204256
No you fucking don't.

>>43204251
Now I do.

Gentlemen, children and gentlemen, This is Bentus. We have activated the IFF.

>>43204203
>Not Shipposting
I had high hopes for you

So, I see the chucklefucks are going on an impersonation spree...

Trip complaining already and we're only an hour in. Never change guys.

>>43204199
HEY LADIES, STEP RIGHT UP FOR THE CHANCE TO SUCK THE COCK OF THE GREATEST PETTY OFFICER IN YOKOSUKA.

>>43204244
You know most of those figures are yardsticks at best because every nation used a different system for measuring average penetration?

>>43204265
Yes I do. Don't give them more ammunition. Not that they need it, but still.

>>43204248
Perfect, now I can group you in with the rest of the tripfags. Filters are love, filters are life.

I hope Bentus never stops posting, because inevitably someone will meltdown in IRC about it.

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>>43204252
LOOK AT HOW COOL I AM MOMMY PLEASE LOVE ME

>>43204196
>Ghost Division reported that Deme giggled insanely upon hearing of our ideas on reincarnation via ship.
NOT IF I BEAT YOU THERE FIRST DEME lol no, the amount of shit I have to write in order to bring the Bradford series in date with KCQ is a lot. Deme will likely bring his plans to fruitation before I get my shit up to date

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>>43204249
>Arizona's belt almost as thick as her guns

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>>43204205
I like the Washington design, but not for her.
I prefer it for her sister.


Also, apparently the knock-off's version of NC was an actual hillbilly/survivalist.
Fucking chinks I swear

>>43204248
Finally. Now I can fucking filter you.

>>43204249
Good thing we were fighting Queen Mary, which does in fact have a 9" belt.

>>43204268
We can tell which one is you, Your faggotry knows no bounds.

>>43204276
Fuck off faggot, my dick is bigger.

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>>43204205
jesus they're not even trying to hide it

>>43204299
Musashi's penis in Lebe's heart is erect.

>>43204313
I like how the people whining about Bentus contribute less to any thread they post in than he does.

>>43203074
I'm here at last and it's already shitpost o'clock...

>[x] ... nope. Once glance an attraction does not make. Test this theory.

Meh, who cares? I'm here for shipsluts and navy tactics... It's been so long I think I need to remind myself where the fuck we are and what's going on...

>>43204307
How do I filter that fucker?

>>43204311
...I don't think he was saying that we were fighting Kongou. It just sounded like a vaguely related factoid.

>>43204323
>Musashi's penis in Ghost's ass is erect.
FTFY

>TO PROVE A NAMEFAG IS A GIGANTIC FAGGOT I MUST IMPERSONATE HIM AND ACT LIKE A TOTAL RETARD!

Flawless logic

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>>43204277
>backpedaling this hard

the salt is delicous

>>43204347
>Settings
>Filter
In 4chanx.

>>43204372
No cost is too high to get rid of him.

>see to your charges

GUYS I'M GLAD I CAUGHT THIS QUEST IN TIME HERE IS MY VOTE

>>43204307
>>43204347
Now I wish I could block you shit posters from this thread entirely.

>>43204347
What >>43204388 said, although you don't need 4chanX to filter trips.

>>43204373
Imagine Hamp in a dress and pantyhose.

>>43204341
We are in a meeting with Arizona, Goto and a bunch of other admrials. Hate is getting ready to pitch his ideas about getting Yamato on sorties and Shigure is in the psyche ward after nearly killing herself.

So long story short. Shit's just as fucked as before cap'n.

>>43204390
Maybe if mods banned you from posting these threads would improve.

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>>43204373
>russian guns have accurate penetration tosavich ))))))

this is literally you

>>43204373
>presenting a counterpoint is now backpedalling

So you've finally realised you don't have an argument worth a damn and are just shitflinging. Lovely.

>>43204401
Why would you put a Zero in a dress? That just seems awkward?

>>43204393
Roleplaying fags are pure cancer if they contribute nothing to the thread. Bentus contributes nothing to the thread.

>>43204333
Actually, it's not just people complaining about Bentus, it's people complaining about ANY name/tripfag who do nothing but fill the threads with useless garbage.

>>43203897
"I'm the ship named for a place named for another dude."

full retard.jpg

>>43204401
Rocky Horror Northampton?

>>43203306
But who was the traffic cone?

>>43204405
Hate isn't here. We brought up his idea for the next Abyssal attack. Right now we're discussing modernizing shipgirls, and Arizona just volunteered.

>>43204427
The same can be said of shitposters like you.

>>43204373
SerB pls go

>>43204454
I've ignored him entirely. Now I can get rid of his cancerous posts.

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>>43204418
All of the information on penetration available is provided through a unified system known as the USN Empirical Armor Penetration Formula. Unless you're a Bong, because then you have your own special snowflake system that's ever so slightly different.

>>43204412
>I'm an idiot

this is literally you

>>43203889
That's nothing, remember what we did with our excess chemical weapons?

>>43204427
Just like you, mate. Absolutely nothing but salty tears of frustration for no valid reason.

>>43204431
He does it to troll obviously. The only reason to do it is to garner (You)'s and to shit up the thread with off-topic butthurt. Have you not been in a thread with ND at all and how any thread he posted in turned to instant shit?

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>>43204460
No

>>43204489
>USN armour formula
>of a WW2 japanese cruiser

You're full of shit, you know that?

All those period figures are derived from the special snowflake system every major country came up with itself at the time.

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Goto coughs prominently, catching your attention. He leans on his elbows as he claps his hands together just below his chin, giving you a long, weary Look over his knuckles. “Sooooooooo~” he drawls, slicing his chin towards the intel geeks at the other end of the table. “I believe you had something to tell us?”

You see Chief Parker stand up from his crowd - your primary contact amongst the Squirrely Ones, He Whom Receives Donut Tithes. There's something about his look you don't like - the stubble's been shaved off and his shirt is fresh out of a drawer, but instead of the vacant queasiness or caffeine-wired, flinty edge you were used to seeing in your own bridge crew, Parker's face is drawn and pale. “We have isolated a reliable sonic signature for identifying abyssals.”

A murmur of excitement goes through the room. Goto slides his gaze back to you for a moment, then back down the table to Parker. “Explain further,” he invites.

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Hey guys, did someone here mention penetration?

http://pastebin.com/fUV6fWaq

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>>43204586
Salty anon's tears were delicious

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>>43204489
I see you have all those Japanese statistics written down on that ancient napkin you found on Iwo Jima. As expected of SerB!

>>43204575
ib4 we have to hunt Abyssal Red October

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“Yes... the...” Parker shakes his head, clearly trying to gather his thoughts.

“Was it hull cavitation?” Tate asks eagerly.

England hoists an eyebrow.

“The computers run sonar returns through computers that try to filter out background noise and biologics to hone in on repetitive mechanical sounds fitting a certain profile,” Tate explains. “But no two abyssals really seem to sound alike so we can't profile them. But no matter what their machinery sounds or doesn't sound like, they still have to move through the water, which creates-”

“No, no, no,” Parker objects, shaking his head and rubbing his face with both hands. “These things can change physical form at *will.* We figured out real quick that any approach based on mechanical profiling won't work. Ya can't just say all their screws sound like this, or water flow over their hull always sounds like *that* and slap a filter on to broom away all the tuna fishes and whale farts. That's a sonarman's approach, doin that ONE WITH THE WAVES thing,” Parker says, clapping his hands over his ears and waggling his eyes upward to demonstrate. “We're *analysts.* We took a few petabytes of sonar bouy data taken for marine research around Japan and just started stripping away anything that varied too much. I mean...” Parker sighs. “Petty Officer Weiss nailed this down, I'll let him explain.” He sinks back into his chair and sits in it like a sack of potatoes.

>>43204575
I got a bad feeling about this

>>43204574
You do know that the Navy had occasion to test those guns themselves, right?

There is a thousands of pages long report on every minute form of Japanese technology that the War Department had put together after the war ended. everything from guns to radar to knee mortars.

furthermore those are THE only published values, so feel free to find an alternative source.

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Weiss rises, a manilla folder held in his hand that he simply bends back and forward, not needing it in the slightest. “Okay, uh. Well. With mechanical signatures - screw cavitation, pump sounds, machinery - you analyze for *frequency* consistency; it's almost always playing the same note but its louder or quieter or faster or slower depending on what the ship's doing, you see?”

Every brass hat in the room nods in unison. Squirrels are like this - once they get rolling on something they *know,* their confidence tends to draw people in.

“That's how computers scan SOSUS to alert an operator, see, it filters by frequency, then applies a second pass for rate, how often the sound is heard or how often the cycle repeats or whatever. And we've got all the profiles nicely sorted because a sub far away moving fast, a sub close moving slow, vice versa, whatever, the physical realities narrow the possible combinations down to a much more manageable set of signatures,” Weiss continues. “But abyssals don't give a damn for physical realities, so - what's the constant?”

Everyone waits.

Weiss brings his hands up to his face, palms facing his cheeks, then flicks them forward to wave his fingers at the crowd. “They're spooky.”

Parker lets his face sink into his hand while the other forms a fingergun to administer himself humane euthanasia.

>>43204586
Ah, salt. Just what I needed for all this mackerel.

>>43204637
> “They're spooky.”
2SPOOKY4ME

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>>43204637
>“They're spooky.”

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“That's their *nature.* It's a constant. It might vary in signal strength, that's it. So we just filtered for the constants - filtered by repetition rate. And we found something that never varied save for volume. It was obscured by their own mechanical noise most of the time and you can't autofilter those for reasons just described so it was a real pain, but... we found it. We found a reliable audio signature that marks abyssals.”

Silence sits heavy in the room for long moments as everyone absorbs that. Tate, the SSN skipper, is the first to reply. “So what the hell's the source?”

Parker straightens up and answers while Wiess bends his folder into a tube nervously. “Abyssals are spiritual in nature,” he says, his voice sounding a bit ragged. “And their nature never wavers, never changes at all. They can speed up, slow down, climb, dive, stand on their damn heads - you'll always hear this signal loud and clear, once you're filtering out the background noise.”

“It's quiet enough to be drowned out by the abyssal's own unique set of mechanical sounds, you said?” Wilson muses. “So the signal is faint?”

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>>43204637

>>43204674
Screams of the damned, of course.

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>>43204637
SPOOKY SCARY SKELEBYSSALS

>>43204405
>Shit's just as fucked as before cap'n.
Yup, sounds about right. Okay, I think I'm on track now. There's just so damn much we've not had a chance to get to yet. Next time we have an open slot in our busy schedule of shit hitting the fan, we need to really sort out priorities. I believe there was a suggestion of getting these girls some god-damn psychiatric help, wasn't there?

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3SPOOPY5ME

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>>43204637

>>43204674
My guess is sobbing.

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“At first,” Wiess says, back on firm ground. “But just hearing it marks everything *else* you hear from it as abyssal. You should be able to program quick and dirty filters for their various acoustic signatures pretty quick if you can shadow them for a while.”

“How long?” Admiral Thomas asks.

Wiess cocks his head with a 'hrrrm' sound. “The big problem with abyssals is repetition frequency is so wide. Even at two knots a boat is making 50RPM or so on her screws, shafts, turbines - pretty easy to nail down. Abyssal have that sometimes... and sometimes they've got sounds that are complex patterns that repeat every thirty seconds up to a minute, like the chorus of a song or a blue whale's heartbeat or something. I'd say thirty minutes to properly sniff them all out and clean up the profiles for noise by cookie-cutter comparison against ambient background profiling from your unexposed side, but you could do it in five minutes or so if you need to teach a fish fast for a good shot.”

“... damn fine work, boys,” Thomas says quietly. The Burke skippers seem to have been lost right when you were, around "ambient background profiling," but the submariners seem suitably impressed. “How soon can we have SOSUS looking for this?”

Wiess rubs his head. “Well, I've got the algorithms all worked out, so as soon as you forward the report-”

“Consider it done five minutes ago,” Thomas says.

“Well,” Goto says, leaning back in his own chair with a sigh. “That covers all scheduled business. Is there anything else you want to bring up?”

[ ] Bring up the Corgi Incident right now.
[ ] Pigeonhole Goto after the meeting adjourns to discuss the incident with Shigure.
[ ] Write-in?

>>43204627
Tests on worn-out unmaintained guns using shells produced at a time when end-war japanese industry didn't have the raw materials to make anything properly?

The accuracy of those "tests" has been torn to shreds for *decades*. It's the BuOrd equivalent of using aluminum wallhangers to "prove" that katanas bend like tinfoil.

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>>43204674
>mfw the signal is THE SCREAMS OF THE DEAD

>>43204726

[ ] Pigeonhole Goto after the meeting adjourns to discuss the incident with Shigure.

>>43204627
>furthermore those are THE only published values, so feel free to find an alternative source

Figures from Japanese tests are extant, just all in moonspeak and only partially internet-ised.

>>43204726
>[ ] Pigeonhole Goto after the meeting adjourns to discuss the incident with Shigure.

>>43204726
>[ ] Pigeonhole Goto after the meeting adjourns to discuss the incident with Shigure.

>>43204726
Man, I want to hear this sound now, mad curious.
>[X] Pigeonhole Goto after the meeting adjourns to discuss the incident with Shigure.

>>43204726
[X] Pigeonhole Goto after the meeting adjourns to discuss the incident with Shigure.
Let's skedaddle.

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>>43204603
Provide a different source.

Oh wait you can't, because there is literally only one, and its from the War Department after the end of WW2.

Fucking idiot.

>>43204726
>[x] Pigeonhole Goto after the meeting adjourns to discuss the incident with Shigure.
This is a matter between ship-slut admirals. Filthy steel-hull admirals need never know what goes on.

>>43204726
>[X] Pigeonhole Goto after the meeting adjourns to discuss the incident with Shigure.

>>43204726
>Write-in
"How's Shigure?"

>>43204726
>[ ] Ask what the spooky noise is

>>43204726
[ ] Bring up the Corgi Incident right now.
[ ] Pigeonhole Goto after the meeting adjourns to discuss the incident with Shigure.

Why not both? We need to deal with this shit sooner rather than later.

>>43204726
>[x] Pigeonhole Goto after the meeting adjourns to discuss the incident with Shigure.

He needs to know about this shit.

>>43204726
>[ ] Pigeonhole Goto after the meeting adjourns to discuss the incident with Shigure

>>43204726
[x] Pigeonhole Goto after the meeting adjourns to discuss the incident with Shigure.
If Goto acts like nothing is wrong with this, I also vote
[x]smack him upside the head with our cane

>>43204726
>[X] Write-in?

Has the existence of abyssal oil tankers been brought up yet? I forget.

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>>43204726
>[X] Pigeonhole Goto after the meeting adjourns to discuss the incident with Shigure.

>>43204704
>>43204705
>>43204724
>>43204730

It's worse.

>>43204802
Screaming shipgirls then queersquid?

>>43204726
>[ ] Bring up the Corgi Incident right now.
One of the difficult but necessary parts of responsibility is letting your superiors know if there is a HAZREP of some kind. The admirals deserve to know that their PT boats could possibly go rogue and engage in blue-on-blue action. They can put more stuff in motion for preventing repeats than we can.

>>43204726
>[ ] Bring up the Corgi Incident right now.
> We need extra hands to deal with this. I don't care if we get fucking Seal Team Six or the Army loans us Private Snafu and Corporal Fuckup, we need bodies NOW.

It wouldn't be wise to use shipgirls for this. The Japanese girls might set the Corgis off, and we don't have nearly enough USN ones. Even if all the extra hands do it follow the Corgis around and keep an eye on them, it's a vast improvement to our current system of "ignore them and hope nothing bad happens."

>>43204704
>>43204724
It's probably a mix of both, with a helping of, "I do not even want to know."

>>43204726
>[x] Bring up the Corgi Incident right now.
>[x] Pigeonhole Goto after the meeting adjourns to discuss the incident with Shigure.
We'll discuss Shigure in private, but we REALLY need a system in place for what happens when the girls (or dogs) break ranks like this. Just how do we haul them over the coals for what is tantamount to treason?

>>43204726
>other
"On the topic of manifesting the shipgirl and shipboy Hulls, let's ask Akagi or Hamp first as they've already done it."

>>43204726
>[ ] Cornhole Goto after the meeting adjourns to discuss the incident with Shigure.

>>43204802
Linkin park?

>>43204726
>[X] Bring up the Corgi Incident right now.

We need more hands to handle this. Hate alone isn't enough.

>>43204802
Green Day in G minor?

>>43204726
[X] WHO WAS PHONE

I can't believe everyone forgot the fact that they hit Goto with a psychic attack.

>>43204726
[x] Bring up the Corgi Incident right now.
[x] Pigeonhole Goto after the meeting adjourns to discuss the incident with Shigure.

>>43204819


WORSE

tl;dr thank god I got that writeup(s) done.

CHOO CHOO THE RIDE NEVER ENDS

>>43204802
The death cries of those they have yet to kill?

It is everyone.

>>43204726
>[ ] Write-in?
"...what, exactly, does this signature sound like that's so 'spooky,' anyway?"

Followed by:
>[ ] Bring up the Corgi Incident right now.

>>43204726
Ask Goto what Yaoi is. Then throttle Kitakami.

>>43203470
>Speaking of Hamp, it's worth remembering that he didn't save our asses by being some amazing supership. He's got the same size guns as the Takaos, and a roughly equal belt. What won that fight was him being fresh and in the right place at the tight time

You forgot the rate of fire. Hamp's guns could achieve approximately double the rate of fire they (and their IJN equivilents) were designed for, (and they did, on multiple ships in multiple battles) by using the "cue-ball" technique.

Big guns in that era were loaded primarily by operators using hydraulic rams - you had one that rammed the shell into the breech, then another that pushed the powder bags in and seated them firmly behind the shell. Because the shell went in first the shell ram was considerably longer. Operators of the US 8 inch gun found that they could quickly smack the shell with the powder ram and "bat" it into the gun like a cue ball, which sped up loading considerably because the powder ram was shorter, and thus could cycle a lot faster. That the equipment tolerated this abuse without any appreciable damage afterwards is a testament to their construction.

Sheer rate-of-fire meant that Hamp was putting out twice the steel as could be expected, and since his turrets were properly armored he wasn't losing guns to secondary battery penetrations, either. Takao et al had their primary batteries guarded by only splinter level protection. Once you get in real close where secondary batteries can land reliable hits, sheer volume of fire will take out your guns really fast.

>[ ] Bring up the Corgi Incident right now.
>[ ] Pigeonhole Goto after the meeting adjourns to discuss the incident with Shigure.

how are these mutually exclusive?

>>43204726
>[X] WHO WAS ON THE PHONE, GOTO

>>43204753
Yes, and they were converted to the USN formula, just like the rest of the worlds naval guns.

Pretty nifty system, that.

>>43204729
More goalpost shifting. Feel free to post some of those "debunked" tests, including actual facts and primary documents that back them up.

>>43204802
Celine Dion?

>>43204726
>[X] Bring up the Corgi Incident right now.
Bad Dogs!!! Lie down!! No cookie!

>[X] Pigeonhole Goto after the meeting adjourns to discuss the incident with Shigure.

We best get our local waterfowl in an orderly queue on this one quick.


>>43204848
Agh! No! The are rules even in Hell.

>>43204802
It's Nickelback.

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>>43204726
>[x] Pigeonhole Goto after the meeting adjourns to discuss the incident with Shigure.

I'm honestly uncertain of the best course of action.

So, instead, I'm going to go kill Skaven.

>[X] Bring up the Corgi Incident right now.
>[X] Pigeonhole Goto after the meeting adjourns to discuss the incident with Shigure.


>>43204869
Oh my, here we go.

>>43204879
They're not that temporally confused.

>>43204910
... Sajuuk, why?

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>blurt out the big incident in front of all the brass ever
>discuss shit privately on the d/l with Goto
>I KNOW LETS VOTE FOR EVERYTHING

now what do I do

literally what do I do

>>43204726
>[ ] Pigeonhole Goto after the meeting adjourns to discuss the incident with Shigure.

>>43204802
One direction, Justin Beiber, Linkin park,Green day,celine dion and nickelback all singing together?

>>43204946
... Exactly what you want to do.

Complete and utter chaos.

>>43204946
Ask Goto what Yaoi is.

>>43204946
Fire our pistol into the ceiling, of course

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>>43204726
>[ ] Pigeonhole Goto after the meeting adjourns to discuss the incident with Shigure.

The alternative seems to be pic related to me.

>>43204946
I think most are suggesting report that the corgis have been starting to get out of hand to the brass, but don't go into detail about the Shigure incident just yet. If you need something to tell the brass was a reason for concern, bring up the groundskeeper.

>>43204726
>[ ] Pigeonhole Goto after the meeting adjourns to discuss the incident with Shigure.

>>43204798
It has

>>43204946
Privately with Goto has way more votes

>>43204946
How about we talk about the incident first and than AFTER that we talk to Goto?

>>43204946
Solution:

Blurt it out in front of all the top brass ever.

Afterwards, talk privately with Goto on how to clean up the mess now that top brass have popped a vein or two out of sheer rage.

>>43204946
oh fuck

>>43204946
>Summon Werner Herzog.

>>43204869
WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA?
That's about the worst I could think of Abyssals saying.

>>43204946

Talk about corgis.

THEN after that pull Goto aside.

>>43204726
>[ ] Pigeonhole Goto after the meeting adjourns to discuss the incident with Shigure.

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Kiwis when?

>>43204726

>[X] Pigeonhole Goto after the meeting adjourns to discuss the incident with Shigure.

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>>43204972
>>43204977
>>43204979
>>43204998

SO IT SHALL BE DONE

>[X] Pigeonhole Goto after the meeting adjourns to discuss the incident with Shigure.

Why would we fucking tell a room full of admirals that we are failing to do our fucking job properly?

>>43204955

WORSE

No, seriously. It's SPOOKY.

>>43204946
Just don't count double votes. Simple.

>[X] Pigeonhole Goto after the meeting adjourns to discuss the incident with Shigure.

Seriously you cannot choose both you dumbfucks.

>>43205025

Stop.

come back.

>>43204946
this
>>43204979

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>>43204998

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>>43205019

>>43205025
>squatting sanya
>not slavnya
>>43205029
Because a surprising number of anons are so autistic that they cannot into social interaction.

Or they want to make things bad, then complain that planefag is being mean.

>>43204726
>[ ] Bring up the Corgi Incident right now.

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>>43204608
>a few petabytes

>>43205025
THE FUCK HAVE YOU GUYS DONE?!

Clearly, we mention to Goto, "I have something to discuss with you afterwards. In private." Then tell the brass, "Oh yeah, the Corgis have gone dogshit."

>>43205029
Because two men alone can not handle several dozen corgis.

>>43205071
Oh good. It wasn't just me feeling dumbstruck and terrified at that.

>>43205029
It's not our fault that we were given insufficient personel to keep them in line.

Also, better to take the figurative beating now than have to worry about corgis somewhere else fucking something up seriously bad.

>>43205033
shipgirls being sacrificed?

>>43205033
How can anything be worse than that?!

Seriously, I had to buy fucking ear defenders for artillery crews just because my sister decided that she liked remixing those bands with each other.

>>43204946
Informing them of a recent situation that they should be made aware of isn't just blurting the big incident out. You can inform them of a situation and that information is pending, but they should know about possible corgi related fuckery.

>>43205029
Technically there's only two other admirals there.

The rest of them are people who will be going into harm's way on our say-so.

>>43205050
My only fear is that he makes us look like a fucking amateur when it comes to crazy shit. Seriously, the dude's surreal.

File: 42 percent RDX 40 percent TNT 18 percent DREAMS.jpg (168KB, 800x660px) Image search: [Google]

168KB, 800x660px

>>43204946
>good news everyone we recently recieved more PT boats! and they're already being PROACTIVE

>>43205099
>shipgirls being molested?
FIFY

>>43205089
>>43205096

We have a staff and we rate a larger command. We can request additional personnel to handle our dogs without showing our ass to the commander of the fleet.

>>43205101
I assume she is in some way defective?

More importantly, what are you doing to stop it?