Feeling ill. Stuck at home. Friends all busy. Best friend is out of town for a couple of weeks. Can we have a thread for funny and/or heartwarming /tg/ stories?
I seriously did not think I had that many images... I thought it was only like 30. Lol.
9/128 is located at >>34254313
>How the fuck do you arm a trap with a bear?
Urist, you badass son of a bitch...
I was thinking more.. Getting a bear in the ceiling. The trigger and delivery would be relatively straightforward.
Though it'd be easier to just have a trapdoor TO the bear. Less cleanup afterwards too.
47/128 is located at >>34278837
51-55 aren't /tg/ stories, and they're more situational, so without context they don't make much sense. I'll skip them.
I don't know. I actually think I only saved that for a small part of a campaign a while ago; it's only mildly interesting beyond that.
This is one that I particularly like.
Calm down, Italian Firefox. You don't have to yell at me.
...A lot of those were quoting a Monty python skit, actually.
Not one of the old tv sketches, one of the ones they made for the live shows.
It's really funny, have a watch:
I'll post the others later tonight, maybe in an hour or two.
This one's very similar to the goblin story, but IIRC it's written slightly better.
I just looked through the rest of my /tg/ file, and it doesn't look like I have it.
Which is really annoying, because I remember seeing it before on here, and I guess I just didn't save it.
Quicksilver isn't liquid, it's just silver that's moving so quickly that it LOOKS like it's a liquid.
This is just something back from all the /tg/ Goblins hate
97/128 is located at >>34257052
Accidentally skipped over this one from earlier
113/128 is located at >>34278789
>Eddie Izzard the Lizard Wizard
This was fun. I felt a little bad for only ever lurking in these kinds of threads, and never sharing any of my own pics, so when I saw OP's empty thread, I guess I decided to make up for it in a way by dumping my whole folder.
Well I don't have anything else in my /tg/ folder, but I can give you this one pic from my skeleton folder.
I think I might have one or two that haven't been posted yet.
Some of them were already posted and some of them aren't /tg/ related.
THIS SHITLORD DIDN'T EVEN POST BROLAIRE
WHAT A FAGGOT
This is cool but I am a noob at Dnd so I have a question if he enchanted these items when the players wore them wouldn't they have checks for magic? Or do they have to explicitly act the check themselves
Normally, when you find a magic item, whoever has the highest Spellcraft skill or highest INT rolls a check to see what it's properties might be, or you take it to a wizard so he can study it. Or you give it to the person with the lowest INT and he studies it. The point is, you actively make the check.
If you're buying a magic item from a reputable shop or receiving one from someone you know, you have no reason to doubt the magic item does what they say it does and nothing else.
I've used this method to kill people seven times, six of which were in the same campaign. My group fell for it twice, in our evil run. First getting the stuff from me directly, then by buying their gear from a competing magic shop I secretly owned in order to make sure no one could undercut my prices.
The "owner" of the other shop was instructed to sell cursed items to people that might cause trouble for me later. I almost missed the perception check to realize their gear was my own design. I wish I could play that adventure again.
That's devilishly evil.
And pretty damned funny.
And cunningly clever to boot.
I wish I had the slyness to pull of this kind of thing. Instead I'm usually the guy who pulls in the cavalry to make sure our team has an exit plan, or that we actually bring an army to back us when we go to fight the final boss, or try at all to make allies of those who we meet instead of just going at it by our lonesome or expecting them to just show up because you're just so special.
Man, that character earned, made, and stole every damn merit, magical item, and magical gift he had.
The second time I killed them wasn't even planned.
It was a well suspected fact that I was an evil man, I tend to play Lawful Evil as Lawyer Evil. What this means, is that I had a poor reputation with the good adventurers/church when I started my business. There were always small, local shops that sold potions or cheap/low quality items, but if you wanted the good shit, you needed to make it yourself or go to this expensive chain of stores that almost cornered the market in three kingdoms because they had religious backing.
I'll spare the economics and politics I had to go through to set myself up as a contender against that company, for lack of a better word. It boils down to a few assassinations, a lot of dirt on a few hedonistic nobles, a few undead outbreaks, and my cohort from leadership being an illusionist.
Later on, the owner of the other store started lowering his prices now that I was stealing some of his business, mainly from the less reputable members of our society. He wasn't even a wizard, so I had him killed, and Cohort replaced him. Even more dirty dealings like firing a few barely substandard enchanters so that I could hire them in my store, and getting the cohort to give me the other owner's share of gold, and I was a very rich man.
I started having my shop, filled with slighted NPCs, make cursed items almost exclusively, and traded stock between the two freely. continued.
There were other groups of adventurers in this setting, good ones. My party weren't "the" big bads of the setting, but we'd made it on more than one shit list, so the tellers at the big company's stores were told to save "certain high powered artifacts" for people who looked a cut above the average dungeon delver or ratkiller, because that shop had the reputation with them.
So, basically any new and upcoming threats would either get lucky and find their gear somewhere, or would buy cursed versions that did all sorts of terrible shit. My party didn't know it when they tried to get vengeance on me.
The command word for the stuff I made was Cletus Judd because of a song I was listening to at the time. The command word for the stuff made by the others was my cat's name. He was such a dick, he would've been proud.
I don't want to derail this wonderful thread, but I capped this yesterday on /wsg/ and I'm still laughing my ass off over it. Thought I'd share.
Capped this a bit ago. Pretty good, I think.
>went to college anime club
>it was the same people as the gaming club
>generally watched decent shit, and if I wasn't interested, I didn't go
>games were always fun
>anime references during games were always minimal, and mostly pretty subtle or actually funny
>never watched Hetalia
I liked that.
I was okay until his 'mfw' was the fucking babby. I just lost it completely it's almost five a.m. help
>anime club is the same as the asian club
>they watch some good shit, some shit shit
>and play mahjong
>like 5 mahjong tables set up every day
>club's been shut down twice for gambling
>I've been told that the gambling didn't go away, it moved to Chinatown
Can there be any ways to make it aim?
Perhaps building a very sturdy quadrapedal golem that can root itself in place but still rotate a small amount and creating a railgun on it's back?
I wonder, how does one do something like aquire the items necessary for becoming a lich without the parry knowing. Note passing? Or just telling the gm and the other people pretend to not know?
>never watched hetalia
Jesus christ, that lone thing alone makes me want to have gone to your college.
I hate hetalia.
Submitting some stuff myself on account of the 1/128 posting all this glory, and not posting myself.
Holy shit this is till alive. Anyway thanks to 128, I spent all yesterday reading and almost missed my PF session.
>mfw half the party is bleeding and the prince tagging along with us into this necromacers tomb reveals being a necromancer only when we tell him to stop being a pussy ass healer
>should've realized earlier