Show us your weird/impractical/janky bullshit, with an emphasis on edh best format.
Give us the kind of shit a shady wizard taught you in an alley.
Like this + islands.
I need to update this actually, rings of brighthearth let you do it without double sticking, and astral cornucopia's a better "artifact mana goes here" than chalice.
>>38766839
>>38766839
I seem to have a small collection of this bullshit
>What is Exalted?
An epic high-flying role-playing game about reborn god-heroes in a world that turned on them.
Read this article to get a hang of the setting: http://theonyxpath.com/exalted/
>That sounds cool, how can I get into it?
Read the 3e core book. For mechanics of the old edition, play this tutorial: http://jyenicolson.net/exalted/. It'll get you familiar with most of the mechanics.
>Gosh that was fun. How do I find a group?
Roll20 and the Game Finder General here on /tg/ are both places where games could be found. With the new edition, though, chances are more games will crop up. Keep your eyes peeled.
Resources for Third Edition
>Pre-Layout 3E Leak https://mega.co.nz/#!1p0RQTyS!1fvgzcFVcAsnxWb3ExDE3b_PZHaGMEY7G3YOSVGdu9I
>Solar Charm Trees - http://imgur.com/a/GBdsW
>MA Charm Trees - http://imgur.com/a/6jeZ7
>Evocations Charm Trees- http://imgur.com/a/oZ6wu
>All-inclusive Martial Arts PDF by Anon https://www.dropbox.com/s/17srgggvpao94n0/MA%20Styles%20PDF.pdf?dl=0
>Character Sheet & Init tracker: https://drive.google.com/#folders/0B3I6-eDu-lQ6aUZDaS14Tlh1a3c
>Fiction Anthologies https://mega.co.nz/#!LZtmzJTb!rc6Jhi9jCrfphIj8bEKsDjb2fGZe4hMz6AmyOUd8xcQ
>Ex3 Comic https://mega.co.nz/#!eBtiVBIB!dGp1-1F3ma6EYOf52Uza3eSxHK5IDHCGPnSHGvyluus
Resources for Second Edition
>Archive with Errata notes: https://www.mediafire.com/folder/253ulzik1j9s5/Exalted
>Fanmade crossbook indexes: http://www.4shared.com/office/_Ke_MsnJba/_exalted_indices.html
Added anthologies and the Ex3 comic to the topic. How did you like the Tale of the Visiting Flare? Beyond that, how has Gem blown up in your games?
>>38712951
Fivefold Fury Onslaught and Hammer on Iron actually are not as insane as we originally thought.
It lacks the initiative reset clause Iron Whirlwind and Trance of Unhesitating Speed have, so if you hit with your first attack, you reset to base. If you miss with the second attack, you take -2 init. Miss with third, -2, you crash yourself and you can't finish the rest of the attacks since you can't launch decisive attacks when crashed. That means that if you take one hit and can then somehow avoid two attacks, you're safe.
It's still a ridiculous charm, but not quite as overpowering as thought, where you simply activated it and watched the enemy struggle until they are completely overwhelmed and die.
>>38691057
I think you're underestimating just how brutal the PSD + IWA combo would be. Let's break this down:
Str 4, Stam 4, Dex 5, Ability 5, specialty 1. Say you have 15 initiative when making this attack.
Now let's look at Iron Whirlwind:
5 attacks, but you don't have to split the damage evenly. Assuming you apply Excellent Strike and Hungry Tiger Technique (which costs 2i of your 15i), you get:
11 dice and 1 auto success, 1 damage die plus extra successes on the attack roll.
11 dice and 1 auto success, plus 1 onslaught, 1 damage die plus extra successes on the attack roll.
11 dice and 1 auto success, plus 2 onslaught, 1 damage die plus extra successes on the attack roll.
11 dice and 1 auto success, plus 3 onslaught, 1 damage die plus extra successes on the attack roll.
11 dice and 1 auto success, plus 4 onslaught, 9 damage dice plus extra successes on the attack roll.
The expected value of each attack would be 0.4 damage per die, So each attack would be a couple damage, but NOT ignoring hardness. So, assuming you're hitting a worthy opponent, you're probably not piercing their hardness with the first few attacks, unless you get lucky. It's the final attack that's going to do real damage, not least because it'll be able to capitalize on the -4 onslaught penalty. So your 9 damage dice are worth about 3.6 HLs of damage, plus extra successes on the attack roll. That's 8 successes, more than enough to piece most hardness. And this is all assuming that every attack hits.
You would pay 5m + 1wp, plus 6m and 2i for your two supplemental charms.
Now imagine that you could instead pay 11m, 6wp, and get an extra 8 dice on every one of those attacks. Every single attack would hit, and you'd likely get enough successes on the damage rolls of the early attacks to bypass their hardness, hitting for truckloads of damage.
Hammer on Iron technique breakdown in another comment. Not enough space in this one.
>>38691314
>>38714638
Hammer on Iron Technique attack:
11 dice pool on each of 5 attacks (str/stam +1), none of which get bonuses to hit. Damage for each is 3 initiative, plus Fivefold Fury Onslaught bonus, so the damage is 4,5,6,7,8. Their defense is then at -0, then -1, -2,-3,-4, due to onslaught penalties, assuming they had none to start with. Ferocious Jab applies to the final attack for an extra 4 damage, all of which ignores hardness, plus a few extra damage for consecutive hits that roll 10s, due to the second bonus of Hammer on Iron.
So:
Attack 1: 11 dice, 4 damage dice, (1.6-2.25 health levels)
Attack 2: 11 dice plus 1 onslaught, 5 damage dice, (2.0/2.75 health levels)
Attack 3: 11 dice plus 2 onslaught, 6 damage dice, (2.4/3.30 health levels)
Attack 4: 11 dice plus 3 onslaught, 7 damage dice, (2.8/ 3.85 health levels)
Attack 5: 11 dice plus 4 onslaught, 12 damage dice, (4.8/6.60 health levels)
The expected value would be 0.4 health levels per die, unless you've got the scene-long Adamant Fists of Battle up, then it's 0.55 per die. all of which assumes that every attack hits.
You pay 6m + 1 wp, plus 5m + 1wp for Adamant Fists of Battle. To enhance the attacks' accuracy with an excellency you would need to pay significantly more.
We're gonna try something new today, /tg/. This is Splinter Fleet Quest. After the rout at Ichar IV, many badly injured Tyranid Hive Ships of Hive Fleet Kraken were scattered throughout Ultima Segmentum. We are one of them.
Status: Carapace badly compromised by thermal-based prey weapons. Homeostasis functioning poorly - many organisms in uteri will not survive the coming hours. Endosymbiotic triage is prioritizing the Norn Queen and a small selection of synapse creatures. Nutrient reserves low due to our ablative ice and fat layers being destroyed in the orbital battle, as well as external haemorrhaging. Regeneration factor is therefore less than optimal. Gestation of new offspring is almost out of the question.
Current Brood: One injured Ramsmiter Kraken. Four immature droneships, prepared to undergo metamorphosis into the following: stalker drones (combat-based), vanguard drones (scouting/prey-world seeding), narvhal drone (FTL facilitator, minimum one will be required).
Biological Imperative: Seek lightly defended prey-world, consume with remaining forces, use biomass to facilitate regeneration and spawning of new spaceborne organisms to protect the Hive Ship.
>>38685904
Don't we need a Narvhal in order to get out of the Ichar system in the first place?
>>38685918
we seem to already have one
>>38685904
make the jump to cleaner pastures. if we aren't healed enough to do that, we could probably go rummage around on planetoids while we regenerate
>>38685979
>>38685904
Correct me if I'm wrong, but it looks liek we need to morph our droneships first.
I'd recommend making 1 a Narvhal, 2 of them into Vanguard Drones, and 1 into a Stalker Drone. Then we can use the Narvhal to see what star systems we can jump too.
Are these ships based on the BFG ship catalogue for the Tyranids?
Can we move under sublight speeds to the Oort Cloud of whatever system we're in now and take some resources?
Funny stories thread?
Funny stories thread.
>>38543367
That was perfect.
You are HERO. DRAGON destroyed VILLAGE when you were a young child, leaving you the only survivor. Since then, you have dedicated all your time and and energy to training for your confrontation with DRAGON. Now, you feel your training is sufficient and you are ready to leave the wreckage of your home to venture off to LAIR, where DRAGON lives. But first, you may need supplies...
[INVENTORY]
CLOTHES (e)
BACKPACK (e)
[STATS]
STRENGTH (10)
DEXTERITY (10)
VITALITY (10)
MAGIC (10)
>Grab WOODEN SWORD.
>Grab WOODEN HAMMER.
>Grab WOODEN AXE.
>Grab WOODEN SPEAR.
>Grab WOODEN BOW.
>Grab FOOD.
>Grab TRAINING DUMMY.
>Search VILLAGE.
>Leave VILLAGE.
>>38502297
>Leave VILLAGE.
We have no need of any of those things.
>>38502297
>Dragon Quest
>Not Starting with just a Stick and being forced to fight slimes for 1G a kill until you can afford an 80G Pointed Stick.
You leave VILLAGE. As you enter OVERWORLD, however, you run into one small problem...
You don't know where LAIR is! Instead, you see CITY in the distance.
>Approach CITY.
>Run around in circles until you get a random encounter.
Alright guys, the first 48 characters suggested will be put through a bloodbath of RNG proportions. Be sure to provide a picture when suggesting.
Let's get down to it.
Who's going to live and DIE?
>>38470613
Warp God bowl, get hype
Khorne
>>38470613
Did someone say bloodbath? We obligatorily need to include Cinder then. Blood for the blood god!
>>38470656
Tzeentch
Quirks, hooks, and themes for a game set in a surreal modern-day place of business.
>The interior layout of the office is far larger, smaller or different than it ought to be given the exterior appearance of the building.
>The mirrors in the women's bathroom on the seventh floor malfunction.
>The building possesses an unusual number of basements and sub-basements that include things like vast storage facilities, underground lakes and model towns.
>Any plant brought into the office shrivel up and die by end of business that day.
>The elevator's control panel has buttons for "11A" and "11B," the first taking you to the eleventh floor and the second taking you to a mirrored version of the eleventh floor.
>Every department aside from the PCs is completely imaginary and aside from their floor the rest of the building is vacant.
>The PCs begin receiving prophetic emails, printouts and faxes.
>The CEO actually died sometime in the late seventies or early eighties, but he continues to lead the company by means of an absurdly exhaustive reel-to-reel library of prerecorded instructions.
>Phantom typing can be heard while staying late at night.
>Instead of keeping their employees late, the company has instituted an extra hour in the day after lunch to boost productivity.
>>38395797
>The top floor of the building can be reached by taking the stairs or elevators down from the bottom floor of the basement, and the basement can be reached by taking the stairs or the elevator up from the top floor in a sort of architectural Mobius Strip.
>Several departments seem to be composed entirely of mannequins posed into complicated dioramas.
>What is seen out the windows may not reflect what actually ought to be outside the building.
>The tile work on the lobby floor changes from day to day, displaying different patterns, colors and messages regularly.
>There either appears to be a single elderly but supernaturally quick janitor servicing the entire building, or more worryingly, about a dozen copies of this same man sharing the job.
>The young mailroom intern with the sad smile and the dark circles under her eyes suffers a terrible, fatal accident at the end of each work day, and yet always shows up on time for work the next day as if nothing happened.
>The PCs leave a meeting together to discover that all their coworkers have vanished.
>Cryptic messages are heard whispered over the office PA system.
>Alarms begin going off and the entire population of the office are herded downstairs into a series of fifties-era fallout shelters built into the underpinnings of the building.
>If left to their own devices, all the chairs in the department will start spinning by themselves.
>>38395828
>The men's bathroom on the fourteenth floor has no ceiling or roof above it and is open to the skies.
>There is something or somethings living in the ventilation system.
>Nancy in Accounting fills the PCs with dread.
>Water in the breakroom sink runs different colors depending on the time of day.
>One entire wing of the building is dedicated to the filing and storage of employee records that detail their lives and histories to an astonishingly all-encompassing degree.
>The cafeteria switches floors every couple months.
>Although the boss seems to have a different pretty secretary every time the PCs go to see him, she claims to have always been there and laughs off the PCs' puzzlement every time.
>All graffiti in and around the building seems personally directed at the PCs for their benefit.
>The only way to reach the 5th floor is by taking the stairs down from the 6th. The elevator will not stop there. Taking the stairs up from 4th will lead you directly to 6th. If you exit the stair well and go back down, the 5th will be there.
>After talking and sharing some personal information, all the PCs realize they live in completely different cities. All go to work in a building in /their/ city. If they try to exit the building at the same time, the doors will lock.
>The 17th floor seems to be a nineteenth century hospital ward. Rows of hospital beds and privacy screens. The odd bit of old fashioned medical equipment. Someone once said they were going to take a nap in the unused beds, the next day, they were reported absent on sick leave. They haven't come back yet.
How do you ussually use goblins?
>>38263984
Eviscerated and splattered against the walls.
Our DM really hates goblins for some reason, and our BBEG is a particularly brutal necromancer.
Playful gullible minions for all sides of the good-evil spectrum. They're not evil in the way orcs are.
Just very greedy, cowardly, but also childishly naive. Depending on who they work for and where they live they can be hygienic, well mannered, cookie bakers or the nasty cutthroat henchmen in the dungeons adventurers crawl in.
Brothels. I've seen too much shorstack, goblins have been irreparably harmed in my mind.
I need to watch myself before I start including the males in that.
It's two years since Earth went mad with war. Super-empowered individuals, rogue actors within nation states, corporate terrorism - the works. We didn't even recognize the real threat until it was staring us in our faces. One year, six months since war against the renegade AIs, the TITANS, began in earnest. A year since we recognized we were beaten and began to evacuate Earth itself. eight months since the blockade was sealed shut, and the TITANS ceased their onslaught, as if forcing us to abandon the planet was the goal all along.
Eight months, the rest of the solar system has begun to pull together, dividing into factions. The Offworld Consortium has transformed itself from a weak trade alliance into a burgeoning superpower in the form of the Planetary Consortium. The Autonomist Alliance has risen among the scattered rimward habitats as a new meme, a new way of thinking for a new world - if it can pull its act together. Military units and confused refugees flee toward the gentle pull of Jove's gravity well and the 'safety' of her fleets. A few see promise in the technologies that nearly destroyed us, and in secret prepare to make even larger leaps into the unknown. Everywhere, simple questions of rebuilding override ideological concerns - for now.
You lead one of the small bands of scattered refugees, determined to gather together in the wake of the catastrophic loss - less than a billion humans left alive, the Earth permanently ruined, the machine intelligences apparently undefeated. The old world is dead, and if there is to be any hope in this one, it is something you must assemble from the ashes.
What languages do your people speak (determines mix of nationalities, some backstory, possible start location)
>Write-in
Over the past few months, you've tried to keep people together and take stock of your advantages and disadvantages. What do you have to work with? (Order from 1 (greatest) to 4 (least))
>[ ] Morphs: Morphs are the transhuman bodies available to your population; at low score you have unmodified, weak humans and cheap synthetic robots; at higher scores you have elite genetic superhumans and high performance synthetic shells.
>[ ] Manufacturing: Production of goods is done by fabbers - molecular assembly devices that can make anything they have blueprints for. The higher this rating, the more and better quality your existing manufacturing capabilities are.
>[ ] Software: Software can be the most and least valuable thing in the solar system. Good software enables you to use your manufacturing capability to its full potential, and offers powerful tools to control your environment.
>[ ] Resources: Despite the existence of fabrication, raw resources such as water, iron, rare earth elements, stocks of pre-Fall goods, systems, and especially fuel and weapons systems remain a key factor for trade and survival.
Difficulty
>FILTHY CASUAL (You have a larger population, more capable spacecraft, and no major ongoing crisis situations.)
>STANDARD GAME (You have an a few hundred people, old or damaged spacecraft, and at least one ongoing crisis. Have fun.)
>HARDCORE BASTARD (You didn't make it out, and are stuck on Earth. You have few people, no spacecraft, and your life *is* an ongoing crisis situation.)
>What languages do your people speak (determines mix of nationalities, some backstory, possible start location)
Esperanto
[ 1] Morphs
[ 2] Manufacturing
[ 4] Software
[ 3] Resources
>FILTHY CASUAL (You have a larger population, more capable spacecraft, and no major ongoing crisis situations.)
>>38049203
>esperanto
>implying
Now I can post again, let's do this.
For those who don't know, Hail and Kill is back. Link to the 1d4chan page for those who don't know what it is: http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Hail_and_Kill
Link to the Google Doc with the new rules: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ScyqZ6GogGRKucHhxkCxk7xHPpeW2xNU9kAmqBlJYEE/edit (Sorry about any editing errors/the shit formatting, I'm no writefag)
Obligatory thread theme tune: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ty0PBp1E4NU
So, stuff we need to do that could be done this thread:
>More weapon stats, though we can go on what we already have if necessary
>More fluff
>More backgrounds
>Ideas on what psychic disciplines we can give to which characters, and what to do with the alignment system
>More sample characters
>Monster stats
Wuhp , looks like i know what i'll be doing for the day.
So while i'm totally infamiliar with this, tzhe concept has me intrigued.
I shall read up on it.
For now can you tell me of the alignment system?
the first thing that came to my mind was somthing allong the lines of:
melodic -> brütal and
symphonic -> impovized
I play a paladin in an online 3.5 campaign. And I have run into a unique problem.
I am the flame of Ilmater, and lead the disenfranchised and suffering into the light. Conceptually amazing, hailed as a savior by other players and the DM team alike.
But I have encountered what I like to call alignment entropy. Allow me to explain:
A paladin can, through deed and word alike, commit evil like any other man. Indeed, in some situations, they are required to partake in evil actions to save lives, or to eliminate threats. Such as executing someone who can't fight back, as the law demands. With-holding mercy when you believe someone is beyond redemption. The ideal of a perfectly good paladin in these situations would be ineffective, but pragmatism is a necessity for an official. In some situations, these points might arise just from working alongside individuals of evil intent, even when they commit no outright evil in the paladin's presence.
These small actions, not enough to fall on their own, eventually chip away at the armor of the individual. They gently erode their purity, brick by brick, in the light of duty. A single evil point here, or a single evil point there, eventually add up.
There is a concept familiar to Buddhism. Nirvana can only be achieved by freeing oneself from suffering. In order to free oneself from suffering, they must forsake all desire. But one forsakes all suffering in order to achieve nirvana, which is in itself a desire. Thus, Nirvana cannot be attained save for the divine who can effectively break the rules. This concept is representative of the lesson that it is not about the destination, it is about the journey.
(Cont.)
But a paladin is judged more harshly for what constitutes a good action. Within the morality of 3.5, we are posed the following:
"Good implies altruism, respect for life, and a concern for the dignity of sentient beings. Good characters make personal sacrifices to help others."
A paladin, by their very nature, benefits from everything they do in a very tangible way. Because of their direct benefit, their actions can no longer be truly altruistic. Even when that is the sole intent.
Therefore, it stands to reason that the alignment of a paladin can only move in one direction.
That, inevitably, all paladins will fall unless they completely restrain themselves from all evil action, no matter the circumstance. The issue persists, even in a fallen paladin, as any altruistic action would have the continued motive of redemption for their power and god's favor. By becoming a paladin, one sacrifices their ability to do good.
But, if in abstaining from evil for the selfish desire to maintain one's purity for power, evil is allowed to flourish - is that individual not evil? Was Aristotle wrong, when he said that one who does not punish evil commands it to be done?
It is only a matter of time until the paladin falls, pursuing her current course. Is it the destiny of the paladin to burn brightly, smiting evil without thought to consequence, tolerating no injustice, and generally being a step removed from a villain of the real world?
Is there another philosophy that would prevent this unrelenting alignment entropy?
Or should it be accepted, and the long path from hero to villain be followed?
To die a hero, or live long enough to become the villain.
Guess I'll just dump qt paladins then.
>>37988633
Post you /tg/ caps.
Starting this off with some new content from a few hours ago.
>>37945793
that's pretty awesome. One second, I got a cap here.
In return, anybody got WoD paladins?
any CoC stories?
Anybody got the Berrypocslypse one?
http://www.lounge.belloflostsouls.net/showthread.php?52847-Non-GW-Plastic-Sisters-of-Battle&p=475852&viewfull=1#post475852
Neat. The support weapons kit even has a plausible multimelta.
>>37952157
I want to know what they look like with GW backpacks.
Could work, you'll get a ton of people screaming about no armored corsets, but honestly I like the bulky look. The helmets are damn nice too.
I'll dump what little stuff I have
A wizard has cursed the entire population of your hometown into fluffy rabbit-things. Fragrant flowers grow like weeds as the soil becomes hyper fertile. Butterflies, birds and nice shit like that are everywhere, and every winter feels extra cozy somehow.
Mentally, everyone remains the same, except for the fact they now cannot feel upset without conscious effort. They have to consciously force themselves to be unhappy. Everyone is by default cheerful now.
The wizard has left a note stuck to the town center front door explaining he did it because he thought it was funny.
Do you seek the wizard and get him to reverse the spell?
>>37640707
No because I was already a bunny person.
>>37640707
>They have to consciously force themselves to be unhappy.
Daaww.
>>37640707
no, but I do keep an eye out to make sure the wizard doesn't show up later with a succubus and a giant animate toaster.