>>22738848 I'm literally a fucking embarrassment everyone in my life pities me i've seen the girls who are rated highly on this boaed and when I look at them I think "wow this is seone who I wouldnt look twice at in person" but then I get rated even lower so what's the point in even fucking living no one will ever love me I'll always be someone's second choice
>>22738822 I think since I turned around 3-4. My mom was young and couldn't discipline a child normally. Just because I constantly forgive her and the rest of the family that followed in her path, she says it's a sign my abuse was not abuse. Mind you I'm now 18, and last time I visited them my face was black and blue. But it was still my fault in their eyes.
I've always had an escapist view that once I have my own family, I could be happy. After this 3rd breakup, I think I really lost it and feel completely... numb and deflated. (Sounds ridiculous, but there is many things that go on internally during the relationship, and after.)
When I was 11 I got addicted to runescape. The jews did it. I remember it like yesterday. All the jews were huddled and I asked what they were talking about. Runescape. Then my best bud Ramos Zaid he played too so I gave it a shot and here I am. I chose rs over homework, friends, parties. It was the only thing on my mind throughout 6th and 7th grade by the time I quit my life was already ruined. I replaced rs with drugs in 8th and 9th grade then I failed school and became a neet. Now I'm over clean of everything but doesn't matter I'm stuck in neetdom
I have been known to make people feel better about themselves in 20 mins or less. I'm kind of an armchair psychologist. My approval rating is very high.
Just say the word BB and I'll make you feel good about yourself via kik (assuming your heavenly ass has one). As soon as I see "yes, I would like that" from xPH0CDG4 in response to my post, I will give you my kik name so that you can contact me.
>>22738822 If you're who I think you are, I ask you the other day why you were sad, because you referenced a picture of yourself where you were happy and 20lbs. heavier, but you never answered my question.
>>22739337 Getting offline would be good for her. I actually successfully contact-fagged her She seemed like she was getting it together We're local to eachother, offered to go out, but I think she got spooked or is back in crazy town or is typical internet flaky.
But, really, girl, you were doing well just a few days ago... these swings of your mood.
my latest boyfriend probably sent me over the edge. I went from depressed bro chick to classic crazy girlfriend who gets upset when she doesn't get a text every couple hours and worries too much about her boyfriends personal shit and thinks about him constantly BLABLABLA.
>if only i could go back to being a chill lesbian who had no problem dumping girls whenever
i used to think that i was born wrong and my purpose was to atone but i think now all that doesnt matter i can just get dizzy drunk and high and drink strawberry milk and make people smile and then i forget who i am
>>22739522 i wish there was a magical button to stop caring. However I don't have many hobbies/friends so its difficult not to think of him. Could all be solved by spending less time together with only the occasional visit. We could be one of those comfortable no issues couples, easily if I wasn't so crazy. Hes great.
Anyway. I'm the person portrayed in the OP. This is the second time I have been targeted with threads like this but what truly bothers me is that some of the pictures used in the marco are over 3 years old and are from Facebook.
I have some issues, yes, but seeing these threads and reading some of the comments left here has really fucked with me. I know saying this may only make things worse but I am upset and angry, lol.
I do not think I am ugly in the way the OP has implied. Sorry for the shir thread. This whole thing is some type of cancer.
>>22739538 FWIW, if he prioritizes playing video games over you... you need to ditch him.
Some things can take priority over a relationship and they be reasonable... things like a career and such. You can't fault a person for their career taking precedence over you. But for something like video games? Fuck no, move on.
>>22739538 Vidya can be an issue for sure though. I've lost a longtime cutie girlfriend to it before believe it or not. I was much younger then, but definitely learned a lesson. Bottom line, if vidya is more important than you, there might be a problem with him, you or as a couple. You really should be the focus of his attention.
although if i complain enough he won't play for awhile or he'll ask and how can i say no? im not his mother.
I will need to tell him I guess. theres no way hes gonna stop playing video games ofc. Pretty much everything he does revolves around em. He's missed out on so much just to sleep, then play video. Im kinda like an attachment, when hes not playing vidya im there, when he is im kinda in the corner keeping him company.
Hell knows im not gonna start playing dota with him. I just want some effort from him, Hell, take me out for icecream or some shit.
I know its bad, but somehow i really fell for him. Hes so amazing I have to convince myself hes hiding something. Its just the constant video games and nothing else everyday, and social recluse shit that gets in the way.
>>22739613 I know we don't control who we fall for but I promise there are plenty of guys out there that would take you out for ice cream or cuddle up and watch a movie. Even a recluse can do that! Any quality time is better than watching him play vidya unless you are equally into that same hobby. And to clarify the text thing....it's irritating to get twenty or so texts comprised of only a few words each. I can't help but think, pick up the damn phone and call me if you want a real back and forth conversation. It's nice to be thought of though for sure, so the occasional text is good!!!
>>22739593 For real, I'd like to talk about it with you.
>>22739613 He's wasting his life away playing video games. Not getting an education, not building a career, not doing anything to make his position in life better or making him less dependent on the financial support of others. You deserve better, and if he isn't willing to at least make an effort into improving himself, you should cut your losses.
While you're right, ill take time to think it over while not talking/seeing him and then tell him everything. Not a "ITS VIDEO GAMES OR ME" thing, I doubt its that extreme. But "go to school, get a job, I love you and I care, be honest with me" talk. Hes super bad with those, he thinks hes being logical when he starts comparing our relationship to breathing air when its all just bullshit, but I'll try.
The thing is, most guys are looking for quick sex or are the jealous type. Im not sure I can go through months of comparing them to my guy, who treats me okay and generally has no drama, just to find out they fall short.
>>22739708 I completely agree with people and their issues. Unfortunately, it can take some failures with the opposite sex to find someone that has what you're truly looking for. Jealous types and the casual sex types are usually easy to identify in all honesty. You do what works for you though and godspeed anon!!
>>22739708 I don't know fuck all about relationships, but I know ultimatums usually backfire spectacularly.
You seem decent, you just don't seem like the relationship is treating you that way, but there's are doubtless tons of unmentioned positives or you wouldn't be there. You obviously know better than we bystanders.
When I discovered that I have a very short temper.
It sounds dumb, but its true. The house I was raised in was not the most "kid friendly" environment. Guns laying about, drinking and drug use was regular, and so was anger. And as most psychologists agree, you are a product of your environment. It's been a weird windy road going through the past few relationships, but I can honestly say I'm happier now than I've ever been. I've distanced myself from what I was and how I was raised and made something out of myself. I try to stop getting angry at the little stuff. I try to be a calm and fun person. My therapy is to go to my workshop. I've taught myself to be a mechanic, manual machinist, and fabricator over the course of the past 3 years. It's a good release. I'm kind of done for the dating and friends scene because the only people I knew were the people that fed into my old self. So for now, I spend my time alone in my shop. Building and creating. It's been a long journey and is far from over. But at least I'm having fun now.
This is my latest build, centered around a 1978 Yamaha XS650 motor bored to 699.
Im high functioning autistic, so ive never been able to connect with people much. Never even had the drive to so I just let people slip. Family moved a lot, home wasnt too great, whether that was hotels or other peoples little backyard garage places. Mom was a stubborn narcissist, dad was a religious out-to-lunch type dude. Middle school was shit. Hung around with one guy and all of a sudden, literally the whole school turned on me. Didnt help that i was a skinny, short, babyfaced motherfucker. One friend i did have constantly made fun of me, and i fell out with the kid i hung around with over Obama. High school wasnt much better. Got better at making friends but couldnt seem to keep them. Also one group i hung around with in general was shit to me; i was basically the resident punching bag. Started liking girls. Embarrassed myself. Got told straight to my face by one chick i tried to pick up on that i wasnt "a real man" Moved on. Junior year i got into drugs, drinking, general debauchery, but i was at the top of my game socially. People liked me, i had a posse and we hung out even as my mom got strict as fuck cause i was always getting into trouble. Then senior year came around. Those people all drifted apart and i was alone again. First job was shit. Ghetto as fuck, though i made some friends. And then i met my ex. She was cheating on her man and we fucked around but she wouldnt leave me alone even after we stopped and i had to abandon everyone over there when i quit to save my own ass.
5th grade. I was top of my grade every year for my entire school life, and half way through 5th grade I decided I did not want to be stressed out over all that extra work and such, so I decided to get super lazy.
Since then, I've spent nearly all my free time playing games or doing something game related. *Though if friends wanted to hang out and such I would definitely do so.*
I'm going to be 25 in a few months, and I have never been heavy *I've been under weight my whole life* and I don't feel I'm too bad looking, I have no ambition to do well in life, nor do I have the confidence to get another girlfriend. *Had a few in life, but the first broke up with me for no reason, same with the 2nd, and the most recent one was.... Let's not discuss her.*
Tired of being alone, but don't give enough of a shit to do anything about it.
>>22740214 So now im alone, and i got people i talk to, but i only really talk to people on kik and, as it is thats shit. People are being dicks. i have this one girl i fucked around with on there that im still cool with but shes being weird with me; i think she might be trying to play me for a side bitch. Or idk what the fuck shes doing. On top of that, ive been pretty much having episodes of anhedonia and depression for about 2 years now, and its really affecting how i do things. I find it hard to open up; i actually get kinda terrified and standoffish talking to people most of the time. I wake up and just want to sleep more, but i cant sleep. And thats assuming i sleep at all. I get like maybe 2-4 hours a day sometimes, and when i wake up im sluggish, unhappy, anxious to get the day over with so that i can be sleep/or be alone. But then i feel lonely a lot as well, which depresses me even more. I want to make friends and do stuff but i always end up pushing away from that. I dont talk much. I dont like having my picture taken except if i happen to be in the right mood. I avoid people. I just cant put foward the effort to be as outward as i want to be. I feel like a failure. I just want to die and i want everyone to fuck off. Its contradictory and its fustrating as all hell.
(Sorry for the rant, im just feeling insanely lonely at the moment
to be honest i question if the thread creator is a troll level 99,
reason i say that if the pictures of you are real and authentically yourself , then there is not a single thing wrong with you, ( and im not saying that to be nice ) also to be real about it i honestly think you could model for things
i use't to be the same way, i thought of myself as hideous in every feature i have to the point where i hated being it public and tried to avoid people seeing me a lot, i always felt people judged me whenever i was out and about, but that was during my high school years, i guess what im trying to say is when one looks in the mirror it can play tricks on you to believe you to think your "flaws" are more pronounced than they are ( if any ) ( no one judges someone more than themself, but i digress....
diddnt know there was a text limit, after getting denied by this woman the 1st time that i was ultra attached to i decided to try banging morphine with a couple buddies to try and take my mind of it and loved the feeling of the rush and being doped up. i did heroin then maybey only once or twice every couple days, eventually quit for a yea + , i was doing great not doing hard shit. then after she got dumped by this asshole she started talking to me again telling me how he beat her, pushed her kid,driving with her past 130 mph, torched her car with gas, and put a gun to her mom and threatend her, so i was like cool shit! she might get sick of assholes she likes, right? NOPE! after about 3 months she goes back to him again LOL, that was the only person i wanted to spend my life with, she was perfect in everyway to me, but after she went back to him after that she is trash, i wasnt much of a drinker but would start getting drunk ( not to smashed) to reduce anxiety because the dude was a psycho and thought she was gonna die or some shit, but after she went back to him i felt SSSOOO low about myself, i would get sloppy stupid drunk everyday( about a liter of vodka a day ) then started back going to heroin and drinking too, eventually my parents got sick of my shit after 6 months or so of getting drunk and doing H and kicked me out, i uset to donate plasma and had a slip that said they found hepatitis c and hiv in my blood ( which is not true after 8 clean blood tests after that,THANK FUCKING GOD) after that i found out i diddnt have any deasises i was scared straight and went to rehab, got out and around 9 months clean off opiates, and wont even eat a vikodin for the reason i would go back to main lining opiates again, because who wants to jack off ( eat them ) when they can fuck a super model (I.V) .. well im getting sick of typing and wish to play fallout 3 or something, for what its worth here is my pics before and after
It went wrong when I turned a teen, since then it was mostly quiet nights without much to ever do. It was emotionally and morale crushing experience thinking I was alone.
Things are better now. If I go out to a bar I get alot of 'you are attractive' mostly from older guys but it's a good confidence builder nonetheless and now that I have a job I can get into meeting and hanging out with people with my own money, 'relationships' are off the table because they uncomfortable sounding to me. Things could be worse is all I have to say.
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