What's the best way to get fired from my job? I am required

just stop showing up to work

>>39661304
>I am required to give 4 weeks notice
What's the worse that could happen if you don't give your 4 weeks notice?

>>39661304
>get latest paycheck
>don't show up again

Simple

>>39661322
This, it's what I did last week

I've been enjoying sweet, sweet NEETdom since.

>>39661342
>>39661322
>>39661351
>>39661358
If I just don't show up, they can take me to court for the business' losses.

>>39661377
Sucks you Not in the UK

I was off sick for a year on sick pay and then put my notice in when it ran out

I work in a bank as well and I'm on the verge of getting fired because my fellow tellers are a bunch of worthless chickenshit losers who run and tattle to daddy at every slightly inappropriate or weird thing I say or do. I had to sit down in the office with both of my managers one day because I told one of the girls, "you're a girl, you're supposed to be good at multi-taking" when she was being slow as shit and wouldn't help me with something. So just get pissed at all your co-workers all the time like I do and they'll write you up for your conduct and eventually fire you.

>>39661401
I am in the UK.

>>39661431
>they'll write you up for your conduct and eventually fire you.
But I don't want to be "eventually fired". I want to get shot of the job quick.

Yeah seriously
Are you fucking retarded

You'd rather lead people in to believing you committed a real crime? that's not like swiping pizza when you close at little caesars or some bullshit that's real shit

how fucking stupid are you you stupid bitch

>>39661436
Then you are making this up

Go to the gp, depression and anxiety, panic attack whatever, you can't be sued if you have doctors letter

>>39661377
In that case just start handing out the wrong amounts of money to people
I'd imagine that would get you fired pretty quickly

>>39661455
>You'd rather lead people in to believing you committed a real crime?
So what? It'll only be the people I work with. If for some reason it's brought up at a later date, I can just tell them to check my criminal record and see that I have none.

>>39661456
I'm off sick at the moment. I'm scared that my doctor will say that I am fine, and then I won't have any choice but to go back. I plan on quitting as soon as I can't stay off sick. But I don't want to go back at all, so I want to quit before I even do 1 day.

>>39661458
There's a clause in my contract that says that if I make a mistake with any money, they can take that money from me.

Go off grid

Disappear and live in the woods

They can't sue a man they can't find

File: efg0053238.png (7KB, 400x400px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 400x400px

bro just take a big ol shit in your pants on the job

do it early in the day and just go about business as usually eventually they will ask you to go home

if they dont fire you then, keep doing it every day

i suggest you buy multiple pairs of cheap pants at a thrift store, so as to not ruin your current pants.
if your current pants are wearing out anyway, maybe use this opportunity to replace them. get a few nice pairs at a thrift store.

good luck.

>>39661527
>There's a clause in my contract that says that if I make a mistake with any money, they can take that money from me.

Jesus christ what a bunch of fucking jews. Just go into work and start cussing about everything and anything. If a customer comes up and asks to take money out just cheerily say "fuck yah you can get your money cunt"

>>39661619
I ain't got the balls to do that. I barely had the balls to ask my boss if I could go for a piss.

>>39661667
You wanna get fired don't you?

Next time you're at work, start thinking of all the bullshit there that makes you angry. Let it out, start cussing. Punch a desk. Act crazy. Bonus points for cussing out your boss.
You got nothing to lose (except your job).

>>39661723
I do want to get fired.

I have had a few good opportunities to get fired. One of my managers was taking the piss out of me, once. In my head I'm thinking, "just tell them to fuck off and walk out of there and then ignore any calls you get". But I didn't have the balls to do that. That would have been really easy to do. I only needed to say 2 words, and then go home.

They'd have had a hard time taking me to court, too. "I called him names and then laughed at him. He then told me to fuck off and then he went home... BUT HE SHOULD HAVE GIVEN ME 4 WEEKS NOTICE :("

But I couldn't say that, because I don't have the balls. I'm a real wimp.

>>39661798
http://www.xperthr.co.uk/faq/where-an-employee-resigns-but-does-not-work-the-required-notice-period-is-the-employer-under-any-obligation-to-pay-him-or-her-for-this-period/61723/


It's legal to give notice and then be sick for the duration of it

>>39661798
You gotta stick up for yourself my man

No one else will, that's for sure. It's a doggy dog world out there.

>>39661821
But I may be off sick for years, yet. If the doctor says I'm still ill, then I can still be off sick. If the doctor says I am fine, then I won't get a sick note, and then be required to go back to work.

I could quit while I'm still off sick, but that could cost me tens of thousands.

I need to be able to quit my job the day I'm "healthy" again.

>>39661831
>You gotta stick up for yourself my man
Yeah I know, man. Me mam says the same thing. If I could stick up for myself, I would.

as much as it sucks to keep working there just don't do it, it just means you cant put your most recent employer as a reference, which at times is important.

>>39661916
>it just means you cant put your most recent employer as a reference, which at times is important.
They wouldn't give me a good reference, anyway. I wouldn't put them as a reference. I wouldn't even list this job on my resume.