/vent/

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I think I might be prison gay and I'm stressed that I'm wasting my youth.

There's construction projects going on around my apartment and I want to kill myself

The continuous never ending job search. I've been NEET for 6 months and I just want a job again. I can just tell my parents are starting to look at me worse each passing day.
Why the fuck is it so hard to find a decent job? I have experience, and I've worked for 3 years at my previous job. I hate life right now. I just wish I can get a call one day from an employer.

>>39640429
Are the two related at all?
What exactly is "prison gay"?
>>39640479
It would be best to invest in music.

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I dont know whats wrong with me. I masturbate regularly and can maintain erections and things, but i cant get hard for a woman, and I have basically no desire for sex. Not gay either. I would say I have no sex drive, but masturbation contridacts that.
Aside from that, no friends, mom is severely depressed and nearly bankrupt, Im working 84 hours a week away from home 3 weeks a month doing something I hate and feel like im wasting my life, but have no other direction. Also Im almost certain I have a mental illness, something like schizoid, but I dont want to go to the doctor partly because I dont want to start gobbling pills, and partly because Im afraid of what he has to say

>>39640498
What was your previous job, and what was your job title there before leaving?
Why, exactly, did you leave?
If nonpersonal, what area do you live in? Rural United States? (The most common area robots inhabit)

why the fuck do people still respond to this whore

>>39640406
im running out of money because i cant find a job
its a fucking bummer

>>39640508
Yes
When a straight person starts questioning their sexuality under the delusion that gay guys get intimacy easier than straight guys.

>>39640523
What exactly makes you say you consider yourself schizoid? That isn't a light statement.
Hopefully the pay is enough to give you security. Many men under stress have difficulty preforming.
>>39640552
As previously asked, where do you live, and what are the qualifications of your human capitol?

>>39640406
I'm taking a real shitty math class in college right now. It's an online class and the teacher's lessons are just "read these pages and do these problems".

Worse than that, I developed an instant crush on a lady in one of my other classes, and while she and I get along very well, I worry that I crossed over into stalker territory without even realizing it.

>>39640547
(?)
>>39640574
You're remarkably self aware about this. How old are you, and have you ever had physical contact with a biological female? If yes, how long ago?

>>39640508
Prison gay is when you don't come in contact with females for such a long time that you begin to have feelings for men just due to the fact that they are the only thing surrounding you.

>>39640406
I WANT TO GO BACK IN TIME TO CHANGE ONE DECISION

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>>39640528
I did 1 year construction, and 3 years warehouse. Was just a regular worker at both no special titles. I know they are both shit jobs, but it's something at least.
Left construction because I got injured and decided to quit (still left on good terms at least), Warehouse job I left because I got a better job. Better job didn't last 2 months because I got fired for being too slow.

So now I've been in NEET mode ever since. I see construction and warehouse jobs everywhere near me, but I just haven't got any callbacks.
I just said fuck it recently and started signing up for shit part time retail jobs. I'm too desperate at this point.

Family (grandparents mostly) is mad at me for leaving the family business to pursue a career with better pay and benefits. Plus I'm not risking my life anymore.
"But we were gonna give you the company. Besides we made you who you are in this company."
I carved my name out of the company with no assistance from them. I earned everything that I amounted to. Because I decide to find a career so I can start a family I'm a horrible person for abandoning the family. Shit, should have thought through employee retention and showed me paperwork that the company was coming my way.

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>>39640406
>Scream my head off at video game
>Headache
>Get food
>Headache
>anger turns to stress
>Think about all the fucking mistakes I've made in my life
>Squeeze the last bit of anger out into BoJack horsecock season 4
>Fucking shit show absolute fucking shit fucking garbage
>It's just sadness now because I realize how pathetic I am
>Cry under desk and hit myself because my parents secretly think I'm a disappointment because they think I'm gay and wont continue the family line
>Think I might be gay and want to fucking kill myself
>Cant get xanax perscription

Went to a job interview last Tuesday. Found out Friday that they've been doing reference checks with my old bosses, so I figure I'm the one they want to hire.

Still stressing out over it. Living in a hostel right now, and can't really move forward with my plans of getting a room until I have a job secured.

I'm a 30 yr old KHV who's only worked minimum wage jobs until now while completing my associates degree. I have to apply to real university now and all of the ones of any value are all extremely competitive. Not smart enough for CS or a quant field so have to decide between Business and Poli Sci.

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>>39640576
It's tough to put into words. It has always felt like Im on the outside looking in, like life is passing me by. I get social cues and can make people laugh like a regular human being, but I just cant hang on to friends. In school or work, aside from a handful of girlfriends there has never been anyone Ive known for longer than a couple months. Making friends is especially tough because I cant let people know about me. Telling someone something as simple as my age or what music I like feels like Im stripping naked in front of them, and I lie to protect my privacy before I can stop myself. Dont even get me started on emotions. Im one hell of a good actor, because I havent felt genuine happiness, grief, or excitment in years. Everything is dulled. Despite this, I dont believe I am depressed, I pulled out of my depression years ago and dont feel bad. Im very fit and laugh often.

Want a gf and miss my ex but have a really hard time flerting

>>39640609
What sort of course is it? Higher level or merely general credit?
>>39640619
Thank you for the clarification, it may be noted that some terms can be too recent for adaptation.
>>39640657
Consistency in work performance is something you've built up on your resume, it is valuable. Perhaps use excess freetime to volunteer? While not ideal it would also supplement your resume and possibly lead to gainful employment.
>>39640664
Genuine curiosity, what is the family business, and were they paying you? Is it something you care for?
It is entirely your life, and at least in the United States the Individual is valued above all.
>>39640668
There's a lot to unpack in this post, but why on Earth would you scream at a video game...?

>>39640657
Have you tried rewriting your resume, and using your old employers who have the good opinion of you as references?

>>39640752
Higher level. And I already took and dropped it twice, so I can't fuck up again. And to make matters worse, it's fucking Trig.

>>39640686
It seems like you've got the job but the stress will weigh until it's confirmed, this is just an uncomfortable period for you.
>>39640709
Business is very generic and can only be utilized if you're extremely hard working and ingenious, or land a swinging internship. Is there opportunities for political science around you? Perhaps teaching it?
>>39640734
This is genuine cause for concern and you are very self aware about the situation. A specialist, while intimidating, may allieviate some stress.
>>39640740
Why did you and your ex split?

>>39640752
Because some niggers dont fucking understand that if you fucking kill someone whos already laying on the fucking ground knocked out that it still counts as their fucking kill, meaning there was no reason to teamkill me, teamkill me again, run me over, laugh like a high pitched shrilly cunt, and then fucking scream at me when you die because you've been revived 3 times and are too fucking far away for me to fucking revive. My friends are fucking assholes but I have no other friends.

>>39640816
You seem like an extremely emotional person. Would it be rude to try and pry an age from you, even a rough estimation? Have you always been like this?
Why do you believe yourself to be gay? Are you attracted to the same sex?
Trap porn is the second most common porn search in countries world wide, so it is not an automatic qualifier.

>>39640752
It's a respected construction firm
Well, was, the quality is disappearing due to my supervisor's horrible management. He's one of those guys who has to look good to the big bosses and will throw anyone under the bus to save his ass. He also looks for any means to save money, even if it means ruining customer relations and reputation.
I was being paid $23/hr as a foreman who started out as a laborer. Stress level was too high and they were stretching me way too thin. Never got to see my gf or dog for about 6 days a week. I did enjoy the work before I made foreman but now as far as I'm concerned it can crash and burn. That being said, I left on good terms with my uncle, who is the current owner. I'd rather go work for the guy who I apprenticed under if I were to go back into that line of business.

>>39640763
Tutoring and asking classmates seems like it would be the best venue. Is there any other course giving you issues?

>>39640816
I get more fucking enjoyment talking to people who kill me in this fucking game than I do talking to my friends to play the game. I've made a few friends from just having an exchange of funny words in the middle of a firefight or when we kill one another.

This nigger also brought a lot of my shit into a factory raid on EFT to give it back, and then got killed by a fucking scav, whined about it, and this was after he had screamed at me for getting mad about three scavs boxing me into a corner and making me lose a lot of shit. That's how I lost some of my best shit, because this blind fucking cunt only heard me scream at him "YES, THIS IS ME, DO NOT SHOOT ME" and didnt see me crouch and jump like he wanted me to, meaning obviously I was looking at some other guy at some other identical spawn on the map. This nigger is what pushed me to buy Tarkov, 140.00 to play with some fucking assholes.

>>39640801
She avoided me for some time and said she didnt felt the same way she did before

>>39640861
Recently turned 21.
I don't know what you mean by "like this." Choosing shitty friends even though their fucking assholes to me because I have no other friends? Yes.
I am attracted to men.

>>39640881
>asking classmates
It's an online course.

And nah, the rest are going fine. Perfectly, even. I'm uber motivated this semester. Hell, even for trig, I finished last week's assignments with a perfect grade. I just wanted to die the whole time.

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>>39640867
You're qualified and have an eye for quality, and are willing to work long hours. Have you ever considered your own business?
That may seem like a stretch but if you're dedicating so much of yourself into something, it would be worth investing time to discover how to invest that time into yourself.
>>39640899
Amor est labilis.
>>39640913
So you don't think you're homosexual, you are. How long have you had these urges?
By "like this" it was intended to imply how you react to things isn't average. At the drop of an OP you will write at great length about what upsets you, and the content is often...trivial.
>>39640915
A shame this professor is such a cockroach. Online courses can have robust discussion boards if cultivated.

>>39640964
It's even worse because the course outline says that we're to refer to "lesson videos" in the "learning materials" folder first before hitting the book.

There is no such folder and there are no such videos.

>>39640980
This is qualification for reporting. Your money is being wasted.

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I want to do something with my life but I lack any sort of passion to do anything.

>dropped out of high school 2 years ago because do nothing but play vidya
>get job and be happy
>eventually joy wears off, things get stale
>do nothing but work shitty retail job, play vidya, and watch youtube for 2 years

I guess it doesn't help that I'm easily discouraged but fuck. I've tried making a game before but coding and art are hard.

>>39640964
I have considered getting my contractors license, yes. You have raised a valid point and have given me something to mull over for the rest of the night.

>>39640614
>You're remarkably self aware about this. How old are you, and have you ever had physical contact with a biological female? If yes, how long ago?
20
I held hands with girls during a high school dance when I was 15 but that's it.

>>39640964
I overreact to a lot of things because there aren't a lot of things to even react to. I bottle up my emotions and shit for as long as possible before I need to do something. I don't know how I'm supposed to react to some things.
I've been thinking about men since I was around 15.
I've been having a shitty night, mainly the fact that I had to deal with getting screamed at by my friends and getting laughed at for screaming back at them. I really needed someplace to post all my problems without having people who can look me up and screenshot my shit and laugh at me later on for being pathetic.

>>39640406
Recently got out of a relationship because I felt ignored and lonely, and now I still feel the same way, but I'm worried my ex will try to contact me and find me to win me back. I gotta stay strong and not go back but I'm lonely

Thank you for all that you do, Love.

>>39640994
I'll definitely consider it.

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>>39641010
Perhaps if you enjoy accomplishing goals (evidenced by video games) you could attempt to climb the corporate ladder at your retail job? What is it that you do specifically?
Creation is difficult and an entire product is ambitious. Perhaps contribute to ongoing opensource projects to gain experience? Space Station 13 is perfect for starters.
>>39641031
As much as I loathe the man, people tend to enjoy the Jason Stapleton Program if they're ambitious business starters.
>>39641040
Hm. What is it about men that draws you toward them?
>>39641045
You should consider professional help.
>>39641058
Could you tell about the relationship? How did you meet them, how long were you friends, how did you evolve to dating, and when did you realize it wasn't for you?

actually i've been having an excellent day today but sincerely, thank you for asking

REPORT
DATAMINING
THREADS

REPORT
LOVE
THREADS

>>39641073
Have we communicated before? Anonymity is preferred.
>>39641135
You're welcome. Perhaps this thread will appear to someone less fortunate. Why was it excellent?
>>39641143
(?)

>>39641173
>Why was it excellent?
i am more in touch with my self and my own desires and have been expressing the latter today

>>39641173
I hate you so fucking much God damn

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>>39641126
>you could attempt to climb the corporate ladder at your retail job?
I actually had the perfect opportunity to do so, but it's not what I want. I'm just your average retail associate. I want to do something creative.

>>39640406

We moved because our house is going to go into foreclosure soon. Have been there almost 20 years, my dad died, and we weren't prepared for any sort of disaster, even though we had homeowner's insurance. Just wasn't financially feasible from a liability standpoint to stay there further. I hate it, and even more that i'm powerless to do anything about it despite having a job. That's the main one. Haven't even had time to process dad's death because we've up to our eyeballs in paperwork and just trying to keep a roof over our(me and mom's) head until we can sort our shit. Just put a bullet through my fucking head already.

>>39641126
I don't wanna get too specific bc I'm paranoid but we started talking through mutual friends and then started dating after a couple months of being friends. I knew we likely wouldn't have a lot of time to be together, but the person cancelled a lot and never really made me a priority. Then we started talking less and less to the point where they would message me something and then ignore whatever I said back, and then eventually we started just having the same small talk conversation over and over. Eventually it dawned on me that they didn't really like me, just the idea of having me, and i realized they weren't someone I'd want to spend the rest of my life with

I'm becoming a wizard in couple of month. Thinking how life is pointless when you are unattractive and undesirable. Thinking about killing myself with alcohol and drugs.

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>>39640406
My best friend is super depressed and anxious all the time, and I can't help her. Maybe I'm too depressed too, I don't know what to do.. Despite this we still hang out and enjoy each other's company.

>inb4 at least you have a friend

Yer damn right, fuck off

>>39641217
While you have my utmost sympathy of being a creative individual stuck in a rigid corporate environment, being a department leader lends you to far more options than a mere shift lead, or counter clerk. Not only this, it would grant you personal challenge and trackable growth, increase your income, and the excess currency could fund creative side projects.
How do you express your creativity? Art? Writing?
>>39641243
These times are true strength testers, and it seems you are caring far, far too much than one should bear at one point. Attempt to focus on the small victories, achieve security, and then grieve, if that route is available.
>>39641270
That doesn't sound like any relationship it can be confessed to being known. Personally, it wouldn't qualify and you shouldn't examine it as such, merely a mistake.
>>39641293
Have you been told you are unattractive and undesirable directly or is that your inference? Have you made attempts to woo?

I made great grades in hs, but I had a nervous breakdown when my dad died during senior year.
I have been wageslaving since. It's embarrassing. Seems I only run into people I took advanced classes with who are now top earners, whereas I am struggling not to kill myself on a daily basis. I haven't felt the same since.

>>39640406
>tfw /nofriends/
I'm outcast by the other outcasts too

>>39641316
You can't fix your friend, only support her by hanging out with her and just being there for her. If she isn't being treated for these issues with therapy or medicine, it might be beneficial to look into that

>>39641316
When you crawl into bed at night, it is merely you. Even if you are laying with like, in your head it is only yourself. It is extremely considerate for you to carry the burden of their mental illness, but empathy can only stretch so far. Does she take steps to improve herself or her situation? You don't enable this behavior is the hope.
>>39641328
Everyone reacts differently to parental loss. You should seek professional assistance.
>>39641331
There's nigh infinite generals and discord servers across 4chan. Have you considered befriending here?

>>39641318
being a virgin at 30 is a really good is a really good indicator that I am unattractive.I've probably hit on 100s of women and they all rejected me. I eventually stopped trying. It's the nature, some organisms just do not get to procreate.

My dad told me he was going to open a car repair shop and teach me how to run it with him.

So far everything is fucking half assed to shit. He doesn't even come to the shop anymore. He taught me almost nothing about the logistics of bookkeeping, taxes, expenses, records etc. Our mechanic was very fucking good but apparently he wasn't getting enough money to live so now he's driving his semitruck again and we had to replace him. New guy is a fucking idiot who uses YouTube videos to fix cars and can't diagnose at fucking all. Most days I'm sitting and waiting for people to show up. There was a point where I had nobody working for me, so I was literally waiting for customers to come in so I could tell them "sorry no mechanic atm lol wanna leave your car in my empty shop for 4 days until he can show up?"

I don't even fucking like cars, I thought I was going to have support behind me and structure under me, I can't fucking improvise this shit. This is so much fucking responsibility I don't want. Even if this shithole is successful and I make money I don't fucking care I don't want money. But it doesn't matter it won't be successful, everyone is telling me "mechanic shops take 2 years to get going just tough it out." I'll fucking end myself far before then at this rate, it's all I think about doing in those hours im sitting, waiting for some fucking retard to come in and leave because he doesn't want to spend money for labor costs.

>>39641395
>There's nigh infinite generals and discord servers across 4chan. Have you considered befriending here?
Not the same as someone I can actually see and awkwardly touch

>>39641318
>How do you express your creativity? Art? Writing?
I don't. I'm not creative in the slightest and I have no skill. I've been thinking about that recently though. People usually base there creative works on some sort of personal experience or feelings right? Maybe I could use my depressing feelings of nostalgia? Now I just need to learn how to draw or make music.

>>39641416
Does your dad know anything about cars?

>>39641399
Amor est labilis. Perhaps seek social connections stronger than family rather than romantic interactions if the deck is that stacked.
>>39641416
It was never expected that a post like this would appear. Your father is flat out using his own son for personal gain. How much of your personal, physical money is invested in this business? Your credit? Your name?
Is your name legally tied into this business? What are you being paid? Can you walk away?
Do you live with your father?
This is disgusting, the amount of stress you must endure is unbearable.
>>39641422
Did you attend college? Would you consider maybe taking a class or two at the community college for a few hundred dollars a semester? Just to interact and meet people, learn a skill.
>>39641440
All works of art are autobiographical and are entirely unique to one's self, yes.

>>39641318
It's difficult to not classify it as a relationship because we were exclusive for a little over a year and did have some good times. I liked the person more than ive ever liked anyone else, but it was almost kinda rare that I'd see the personality I loved of the person. They would put up fronts or have attitude a lot of the time instead of being the funny and happy person I got to know at first. It was easy to see why I needed to get out of the relationship while I was in it, but now that I'm out I think about all the good things I miss. I also wonder if I'll find someone who likes me for me instead of the idea of me, and if I'll find someone that gives me the time of day. It feels like every time I meet someone who likes me, they slowly start losing interest.

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>>39640406
stressing over the fact I will never work at a Japanese beach house, have the granddaughter of the owner fall in love with me, marry her and take over the family business

>>39641481
>Did you attend college? Would you consider maybe taking a class or two at the community college for a few hundred dollars a semester? Just to interact and meet people, learn a skill.
Don't want to drop money on something I most likely won't enjoy. And my social skills are that of a rock

>>39640406
my girlfiend who lives with me never cleans up anything and I have a crush on my co-worker

>>39641488
Would you be able to describe yourself in great detail?
>>39641523
This seems like a parody reply to the idea of the thread, it produced a smirk.
>>39641528
How often do you leave your comfort zone, and how often do you use your social skills?
>>39641541
Is she a teenager? That is disgusting.

I don't know where to begin. I feel like my entire life is a fucking mess and nothing is going okay. I need to vent but I can't find the words

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>>39641573
perhaps I'm just in love with Hirosue Ryoko

>>39641588
Perhaps just start with today.

I'm NEET and just don't know what to do. I've given up on wageslaving, college and trade school. I haven't had friends in years and I'm too afraid to leave the house most days.

send help

>>39641573
mid 20s. I clean up everything and when i'm not working my full-time job that I hate i'm cleaning up the apartment. i'm happy with the relationship otherwise, but when I tell her to clean up she gets upset and tells me i'm being an asshole. maybe i'm asking rudely, but I don't think so. ive considered ending the relationship over it before though

>>39641466
My dad runs a successful smog shop. He is there 6x a week.

>>39641481
I don't think he means for it to be malicious. He sees it as giving his hopeless son purpose. I have put forth only 1000 of my own money just to have something in the bank account early on. Nothing compared to what he put in. I am technically the legal owner of the business. I have 0 wage. Anything we made is in the account previously mentioned and it's barely sustaining itself. I don't live with my father.

This is so fucking unfortunate. My father was great to me, honestly. He was patient, generous, involved, and he believed in me but I let him down time and time again. I really don't think he realizes how fucking unhappy I am. Ive mentioned it time him some times, and early on actually gave him the keys in an emotional argument but he asked me to give him 2 months of time. Ive almost reached that two months and I don't want him to lose what he's invested into this business but I don't know if I can continue.

I see shit like webm's on /ck/ about baking and am literally brought to tears, envious of someone doing what they love. Throughout my life I have had zero ambition, no initiative and no hope for the future. Even now, I don't know what I want to do with my life. My hobbies and interests are frequent and brief, I don't commit too much to any one thing before moving on to another. This is all back when I actually had free time. I'm spending 60 hrs/wk at this shop now

>>39641605
well, today I woke up around noon and then laid in bed on my computer for 15 hours. I can hear my alcoholic sister yelling at some people over the phone in the other room, yesterday this went until 6AM

>>39640406
I'm in a new relationship with a girl I really like, and I'm afraid I'm going to fuck it up. She's pretty amazing. Has a good career as an artist, loves video games and DnD, submissive in bed and super kinky.

I'm sure I'm going to fuck it up.

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Please do not anticipate mass replies for at least twenty minutes, though it is encouraged still contribute and talk to each other if it's desired.

Though it has never been extensively shared and never will be, perhaps I will attempt to pen something about myself afterward.

>>39641573
I'm a very caring and genuine person that likes to make people happy. Sometimes I struggle with doing this too much at my own expense. I've been told by lots of people that I'm the sweetest person they've ever met and very down to earth. I have a good sense of humor about myself and love to laugh and make jokes, and I've been told I'm funny. I am very level headed and rarely act out of anger, as I know I'll regret it later. I'm not passive aggressive at all, but I find it hard to be assertive as I don't like controversy or upsetting other people. I'm a little bit shy around people I don't know well, so I'm perceived as a more quiet person. I fear my personality will get overlooked by the fact that I'm attractive (or so other people have described me).

>>39641684
Thank you for always listening Love
I look forward to your threads every day

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I just want to talk to a cute boy like I used to.

>>39641073
>>39641725
these in an original fashion

>>39641684
I really appreciate what you're doing, it means a lot

>>39640523
No cure or medical treatment for Schizoid. I'm pretty sure I am too, but it's no big deal because I don't need people to be happy. That's pretty cool.

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>>39641746
People who have been there/done that are here as well.

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im lucky enough to have friends but i feel like an outsider within our group. i see people talking to eachother on facebook and all kinds of other normie social media shit whereas i literally only talk to these people whenever i see them in person. i am also literally the only person in the group of 10+ guys to not have a girlfriend this failed normie shit is pissing me the FUCK off i hate my job i hate the idea of going to university i just want to stop fucking existing

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>you will never get to know Love beyond her name and autistic writing style
why even live

>depression got worst in my life recently
>family sees cuts and threated to hospitalize me if I don't go to psych
>taking SSRIs but they don't really help
>have crush on guy at school, too much of a pussy to come out or ask him
>despite not being aroused by women irl, still constantly worried I'm prison gay
>spend nearly all of my time alone and get uncomfortable being personal with anyone
>want to kill myself but can't because of family
>started drinking heavily

>>39640406
I want to do like a friend i had and abandon my family, pretend they're dead and just go away. But i'm not strong enough to do it.
Also, i just really wish i was dead.

>>39640406
I'm going into my second semester as a college dropout and I can't find the motivation to start finding a career. I haven't found anything that interests me more than lying around doing nothing. I feel like a child who is not ready to be an adult

>>39640657
>mfw construction and warehouse jobs are valued more highly than retail
At least I work at a coffee shop instead of a Walmart. You should also look for dishwasher jobs. They're always available

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Sincerest apologies but it appears that all replies engaging in questions and conversation, at least from this poster, must end.
Thank you to everyone who's posted so far and I hope that you have a good way to deal with your stress.

Next time premature departure won't occur.

I'm stuck in a job that requires me to work out of the country 8 months out of the year so don't get to spend nearly as much time with my girlfriend as I'd like to.

My dad is dying and he wants me to buy his house from him. I moved across the country for my girlfriend's sake and I can't afford our rent + the mortgage on my parents house & associated state taxes. I feel like a bad son that I'm choosing my girlfriend over my dad, but I plan on marrying this woman and starting a family while my dad's illness was wholly preventable had he listened to me and my mom once during the last 25 years.

I was in a car accident last year. My car was totalled and I had to eat the loss because I didn't have full coverage. The guy who hit me got money for a new car and now he's suing me for upwards of $100000 for medical bills even though after the accident the first thing he did was get out of his car and start yelling about it being totalled, while I could barely move from the pain once the adrenaline wore off and I was out of work for two weeks after a rib injury.

in short fuck everything

>>39641633

>putting up with a filthy person

No anon.

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>>39640406
I want to meet a qt and give her babies.
I don't care about anything else.

>>39642063

Thanks for trying to help, Mabel.