Question for my mentally ill bots: do you remember what happy

Happiness is fleeting and on the spectrum of emotions. Everything is passing and no one is happy all the time.

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>>39592488
do manic episodes count?
does drug induced happiness count?

also many years of therapy never did any good for me personally, it might help you though

Yes. I often have moments of true happiness with games, movies or music.
Sometimes I feel happy when I'm doing stupid shit. Like right now! I haven't taken any seroquel for years, but I still have hundreds of those 100mg pills in unopened boxes lying around. I decided to pop 500mg in a whim. I'll probably be sleeping pretty soon, but this kind of stupid excitement really makes me feel happy! Doing stupid, even if relatively harmless things is really exciting.

>>39592488
At this point I'm starting to wonder if happiness is even a real thing. I have three emotional states: normal, sad, or angry. I don't enjoy much of anything anymore, and sometimes I get confused on whether something is fun or boring. I don't feel happiness and I don't care. I live the way I am.

Happiness doesn't real. Happiness is just a meme.

>>39592488
Haven't felt happiness since I was a kid really. Everything in adult life just seems like a chore going to the next thing, or working on the next thing. There are a few moments I enjoy but overall i'm not sure what would make my life happy. The idea that normal people are happy is so strange to me.

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>>39592488
>have multiple severe mental illnesses
>commit myself to years and years of therapy
>hell bent on getting help
>it actually pays off
>I get diagnosed correctly, get on the right meds and put in years of effort in therapy
>find a partner who loves me
>get in a good place in my life
>actually experience genuine happiness from time to time

it's worth it
even if you can experience actual happiness, not drug-induced happiness, not escapism, but an actual feeling of contentment and pleasure and joy, it's fucking worth it.

>>39592488
No, no.
>tfw chemically lobotomized by prozac
I don't think I can anymore anyway, but fuck it.

I'm not mentally ill.
But I haven't been truly happy for over 5 years.
I pretty much work then I distract myself with video games until I go to bed.

>>39592488
Happiness was when attention whores and roasties didn't infect my fucking board so often.
SAGE

From the time that I was born to the time that I was 23, I was never happy.

It wasn't until I was able to internalize buddhist philosophy that I finally became happy at the age of 24. Been a couple years then. I'm pretty normal now.

>>39592488
I really don't remember but I do remember how a mdma high feels like, which is close enough

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Last week I had some temporary moment of pure blissful happiness for a couple hours for the first time in years

It just came out of nowhere and kind of felt like I'd just taken xanax

Really wish I could feel like that all the time but it faded and I went back to the typical neutral / depressed feels

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happiness was last found at the end of high school when me and my two friends realized we'd all have to part our separate ways. They've gone off to college and now im in a different state because of family reasons and a NEET due to my schizophrenia. feels bad. most of my day is utter boredom. psychiatrist gave me benzos though so thats nice. also got some kratom here and hey, things could be a lot worse i suppose, but that doesnt mean im happy

>>39592488
In order to remember something one would have had to experience it.

>>39592488
I barely remember it. Years of therapy hasn't helped it return.

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>>39592488
I remember what happy is. It is how I felt before I got into drugs.

>>39592488
No, I don't remember happiness or love anymore. Sometimes a certain kind of misery feels like happy, where you get chills up your spine. That's the closest to happy I ever feel anymore, but if I find happiness and it feels good then I might change my mind.
>Is years of therapy worth it if you could experience happy?
Saw a psych for the first time literally yesterday. Got perscribed prozac. If it doesn't work I will kill myself.

>>39593870
>internalize buddhist philosophy

Normal is realitive anon. In the west your kind of weird.

>>39596060
Dont kill yourself after prozac trial lmao. I tried it did nothing and now im happy but like I said prozac is a SSRI and theyre not that effective

>>39592853
>my fucking board
This isn't your board and it was never your board. Go back to wizardchan

Happiness is what I feel when I see HIM. Then he vanishes out of sight, a moment's notice gone, across the street. I must wait until tomorrow to see HIM again, because if I appear in too many places where HE is, HE will start to notice and I won't be able to see HIM anymore. So I limit myself to these small times, the little glances across the street when HE doesn't realize. HE doesn't know I'm there, HE must never know. It will be my little secret. HE will be.

>>39596060
>prozac
chemical lobotomy, have fun feeling literally less than nothing and seeing every passing truck as a way out
good times.

>>39596609
I already feel that way though. The only sensation I get anymore are chills, humour, and embarrasment.

>>39596640
then it'll literally make you kill yourself, prozac was the worst experience i've ever had

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>>39596060
im on zoloft which i actually do find relatively helpful in reducing how suicidal i am so im grateful for that whether or not im happy my penis doesnt function to do anything but piss anymore...not so sure but i never had a chance with women anyway

>>39596662
people report vastly different effects from ssris anon, your experience is not everyone elses

I was suicidal for over three years. Shit's hard. Therapy and antidepressants help. Get your life sorted out and it gets a lot easier.
It's never hopeless, robots.

>>39596733
thats the problem with depression though, you see no way out and everything as being permanent and unchangeable

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Journey > destination

>>39592488
Chronic depression here. Currently hospitalized for a year so far (yes here in the Netherlands you're allowed phones/computers).

No I don't remember.

>>39592542
I'd consider taking MDMA to give you happiness. Happiness is a mental state anyways, so yeah drugs count.

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>>39592488
I get very fleeting moments where I feel so alive... they come out of nowhere and last a split second and then it's gone.

I don't get lasting happiness, just manic periods which aren't exactly enjoyable.

tbqh I feel "happy" enough in the morning and during the day but afternoons and evenings, that crushing empty, vacant feeling sets in... every night.

It's there not matter what.

t. schizoaffective, BPAD 1, alcoholic

>>39596856
It's hard getting out of the mindset, but I want to be encouraging.

>>39592488
Mentally ill AF here

I'm happy right now. Like, in this moment.

I'm not happy all the time. I'm not even happy most of the time. But I'm treating my illness and my life is going the way I'd like it to. I think I'm doing alright, I feel relatively fullfilled as a person

I do think treatment and therapy is worth it. I can't recommend it enough, desu. If you want to unlock your potential as a fully realized human, you should be doing it.

i was happy for the short time that i knew her

now i'm either apathetic or depressed again, like always

nothing to look forward to, nobody to love and be loved by

I only smile when I see something funny on my pc/mobile phone. Momma naively thinks I'm chatting with my gf (I have no gf)

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>25yo khv
>have literal diagnosed asperger's
>most of the emotions feel pretty much the same
>can obviously differentiate anger and sadness etc. but emotions are mostly different shades of gray mush
>talked to a girl for the first time in my life yesterday
>tfw I've been experiencing this strange new feeling since yesterday

Is this happiness? I don't know, I'm not sure if I like this new feeling, but something tells me I should explore this stuff even further.

>>39592706
Thanks for sharing, it seems like I see so few people who say the process actually works for them.