Describe your failures with your oneitis
>be me, 1st grade
>concept of liking and crushes starts kicking in
>like this girl cause pretty and nice. Let's call her fanon.
>those two traits are a perfect package to this day
>I knew what I wanted then
>so I have a crush on this girl pretty much for crush's sake up until middle school, still the same school though.
>haven't talked to many other girls up until this point, those I have were just friends
>be on field trip at end of 6th grade, talk to fanon's best friend, ranon, a good bit by chance
>fall in love in a single day
>first ACTUAL crush
>literally chase after this girl for the entirety of seventh grade. I gained self awareness at this point and lost all social skills
>in the summer between sixth and seventh grade, my crush literally turned me from a normal human kid to a tard
>went to a dance in seventh grade, where I slow danced with both of them
>I asked ranon, but fanon asked ME to dance before that
>always remembered my first slow dance, with fanon
>literally say "the weather's great today" at least two dozen times over the year trying to start a conversation with ranon
>eventually lose interest. Never had a chance after sixth grade.
>early 8th grade, no real crush
>if ANYONE...fanon. No question.
>help her with math a lot, later in the year
>have several good conversations, the kind I haven't had since with ranon two years before. But these were more meaningful
>developed my crush again
>school year about to close, not too likely fanon and I'll go to the same school.
>almost, ALMOST manage to ask her out
>time constraints and my own inability screwed me over
>did manage to get her number at graduation with a big sharing as a group
>I've forgotten how, but I kept up with her over the summer
>literally got into arguments with my two other closest friends and ended things with them midsummer. Barely talked to anyone else
>she was my only friend I still kept up with
Cont.
>holding the interest of not one but TWO girls
Quit bragging.
>be 12
>move back to hometown
>have a crush on a girl I'd known since I was born
>hang out with her all the time
>try confessing to her
>"What the fuck anon, we're cousins"
>we are not actually cousins
>she didn't know this, is still very creeped out
>stop talking to each other
>haven't seen her for almost a decade
And so ends the only time I ever tried turning a oneitis into the one
>>39459978
Cont.
>our texts boiled down to a day's back-and-forth every two weeks to a month
>not much, but enough. As long as that link stays alive
>talked about nothing but dad jokes and what she was thinking about for highschool
>she ended up being homeschooled
>she hated it by the first week, lonely with no friends
>meanwhile, I was having the worst time of my life in a public high school of 3000
>my conversations with her every half a month was the only thing keeping me going
>all other joys were in the far future
>conversations started being more spaced apart, started getting nervous that they'd eventually start.
>homecoming week in early October
>freshman boy with two okay friends at this point
>text fanon about it in mentioning what's going on around the school
>she asks if I'm going
>reply that I would if I decided to ask someone
>I can be A LOT more of a chad in texts than real life when I have time to think
>ask her casually, on a whim, if she'd like to go.
>it'd be good for her to get a breath of fresh, public school air.
>don't get a response for two days
>regret.exe
>she finally responds with a really formal, 'id love to go to your homecoming with you, anon! I want you to understand though that my intentions are that if friends:)'
>I never thought I'd get this far
>my texting chad personality and my autustic real personality just collided
>SERIOUSLYRUSTLED.exe
>go to homecoming
>imnotreadyimnotreadyimnotready
>see her
>for a general reference, she looks a bit like image included. An angel.
>her morals, her beliefs, her personality, her appearance, her smile...EVERYTHING about her is perfection. My absolute dream girl.
>all the last five years distantly texting her were washed away. Seeing her now was all that mattered.
>talk with her, keep my spaghetti in
>get to actual dance floor, the gymnasium
>spaghettibreach.exe
>HUNDREDS of upperclassmen
>one of fanon's friends from our old school in a group with 8 or so other girls
Cont.
>>39460415
Cont.
>fanon joins that iron female fortress
>there is no way to get into the conversation
>they have spaghetti detectors and spaghetti resistant walls. I had no chance in
>eventually lose track of that group and awkwardly go around dancing whitely for the next three hours, mainly with a group of a few strangers
>literally a jester to these people
>every half an hour or so, fanon would be looking around alone, obviously having lost the fortress
>would go to her, talk and walk around for a minute, and then she would find her friend again and ditch me
>she was convinced I had people to talk to
>repeat this process three times until eventually she had to leave
>she apologized for our barely spending time together and I walked her out
>I couldn't hold it against that angel
>text again a month later, she says she probably won't be homeschooled anymore next year
>don't talk for three months.
>at a track meet, maybe around February, slowest on the team but still occasionally run a race.
>after momentarily going to the restroom, I walked back to the bleachers
>thinking about her. My thoughts still flowed to her every now and then
>"hey, fanon's older sister is in track and is competing in this meet. Maybe fanon will show up"
>probably not, but dreaming calms the nerves
>sit down, reminiscing about her
>"Anon?"
>turn around
>fanon and her mom are in the bleacher seats right behind me
>she's even more beautiful
>mfw
>we talk a bit, I'm a bit less autistic now that track has given me confidence
>she says she'll either be going to one public high school...or mine
>wants to go to mine
>mfw
>she leaves, leaving me all the more drawn to her
>be me, 10th grade
>Sophomore year just began. Half a year since we last spoke.
>I still haven't forgotten her
Cont.
>>39460750
Cont.
>first day, changing periods
>looking at faces crossing the hall
>I see it. Fanon. That face of an angel
>she didn't see me, I actually stopped wearing glasses around then so it is understandable.
>I couldn't act. I just had to keep on walking. Everything else was frozen
>I learned at that moment what it felt like for your heart to skip a beat.
>see her again the second day, our eyes meet
>neither of us smile. We just walk past
>that moment tortured me for the next two weeks
>saw her with her sister at lunch three weeks into the school year, and I decided I had to do something
>mention in text that I saw her at school and wonder how she's doing
>says she's good, etc
>says she has a lot of people she hangs out with, but no real close friends yet
>next day
>go to the place I've sat to eat lunch the past three weeks
>it was a pretty desolate area, no one in that area but a few freshmen to start off with, so we settled there
>couple of friends with me, usual lunch stuff
>thoughts have been a third about her so far in the school year
>thinking about her again, talking to friends about whatever
>"Anon!"
>literally RIGHT NEXT TO US was another big fortress of girls sitting down having lunch
>Fanon was right there with them, waving and smiling to me
>that smile
>I smiled and waved back, and that was that
>that left my mind a mess the rest of the day
>her group continued sitting there, and mine right next to their's
>this continues for THREE YEARS
>we are ten feet apart everyday
>but we never speak again
>thus girl is my oneitis this entire time, and I am never able to put myself out there with the thought of her always in the back of my mind
>graduate
>she is still almost all I keep thinking about
>this is my oneitis
I don't know how to move on. From the very beginning I set my sights on perfection itself, and now I have nothing.
>>39460027
Seriously though, what is this Chad doing here? Your middle school years seem like a dream OP
I don't even know if this is my oneitis anymore as I'm disgusted by her now, you'll see why in a minute, but she's the only person I've ever felt actual love for.
>in honors class meaning I have class with the same people every year from 3rd grade onward
>only 3 girls in the glass at the beginning
>first day of 5th grade
>new girl and she's cute (I'll call her Kalyn xd)
>best friend (John) is interested in her too
>we make fun of her all because that's obviously that right thing to do when you like someone as a kid
>nothing really happens that year, we were only 10-11
>6th grade
>John starts to become friends with Kalyn
>I get mad because I'm jealous so I stop talking to him for most of that year
>we start being friends again in 7th grade but he's still becoming increasingly close to her
>in 8th grade they finally start dating
>I'm really jealous and my jealousy has turned into hate towards her
>become a depressed fuck and decide I'm destined to be a KHV for the rest of my life
>John breaks up with her at the beginning of 9th grade because he thinks he can do better apparently
>a couple months later I'm on skype with two other male friends who are friends with Kalyn
>they add her to the call
>she messages me after
>she's flirting with me
>thismustbebait.nds
>see her in school after a few days of talking on skype and text
>she talks to me irl
>we become good "friends" but we both knew it was going to end up being a relationship
>I ask her to be gf after about a month or so of talking
>she says yes
>I always fantasized about her being mine but never thought it would happen, and now it was real
>everything is great (I thought)
>Kalyn is still friends with John because they're still in a lot of activities together
>I don't really care because he was the one to break up with her, and I trust her
>Me, John, Kalyn, and Kalyn's friend all hang out at her house one day
>she goes to the bathroom and I pick up her phone to message John pretending to be her
cont
I wish I still had a high enough opinion of women to have a oneitis.
>>39461610
>see her recent messages with John
>she says she misses him and wants to be with him and a bunch of other shit4
>he somewhat reciprocates but not as much as her
>put down her phone and don't know what to do
>after she comes back she asks why I'm not talking
>I don't say anything because I don't want to talk until everyone else leaves
>she goes away with her friend and they talk about it, apparently she guessed that I had figured out what she had said to John
>John apologizes and leaves, so does Kalyn's friend
>she cries telling me how sorry she is and that she loves me and wants to be with me
>I go home and don't know what to do
>eventually I decide to stay with her, worst decision I've ever made
>We go on for about another year and a half
>I still have some trust issues because of what she did and our relationship wasn't great, but she was my oneitis
>I make up with John too eventually and we're still friends to this day
>John and I aren't as close because of what happened and now I talk to another friend, Adam, most of the time
>Adam knows all about what happened with John and helped me through it
>about 1.5 years after what happened with John, almost 2 years into the relationship, Kalyn starts talking to Adam and one of his other friends
>obviously I'm weary of this, last time she talked to my best friend it isn't go too well
>we get in occasional arguments about it, she claims that I should trust her and what happened with John was a long time ago
>one day I'm driving her home and she says that she wants to break up
>I tell her that I don't feel the same at all but I'm not going to try to convince her to stay with me if she isn't happy
>we're still friends after but I start getting suspicious about her and Adam
>I have no proof that they're involved romantically but I get paranoid about it and stop being friends with her
>eventually I find out that she and Adam are together and that she cheated on me with him
Oh boy, this was embarrassing. In the end I've come to terms with how it turned out though, and no longer consider her my oneitis.
>junior year history class
>qt with pale skin and black hair in the class, recognize her from symphonic band
>teacher passes out playing cards to determine partners in class
>somehow end up partnered with her the whole year
>don't care about her at this point so I'm pretty casual, speak whatever's on my mind
>end up making her laugh a good amount
>sometimes she puts her hand on my arm
>too autistic to read into it
>year ends without incident
>senior year of high school starts
>girl says "hi anon" with a wave and smile whenever we pass in the halls
>brush it off until one day one of my fellow autists asks who she is
>tell him that I frankly can't remember her name
>he tells me to talk to her
>start a conversation with her when we run into eachother after school once
>we talk for over half an hour
>starts becoming a routine
>never talked to a girl before so I have no idea what to do past this
>last month of school she starts hugging me every time she sees me
>still too autistic to do anything
>on graduation night feel someone grab me from behind
>turn around and shoulder slam them because I was used to being bullied
>turns out it was the girl
>help her up and apologize, laughing a bit in embarrassment
>we talk a bit
>she asks to take a picture with me
>I put my arm around her (don't hover hand thank god)
>she asks if I have a snapchat
>tell her I have no idea what she's talking about, just give her my phone number
>she sends me the picture
>couple of days pass
>feelings for her grow
>call her and confess to her in a fit of autism
>she tells me we should be friends because she's not capable of handling a relationship
>never hear from her
>community college starts up
cont
>>39461025
>never making any move whatsoever
I hate to say it, but this is your fault desu. How long has it been since you graduated? Do you still have her phone number?
>>39461852
>tfw cucked by two closest friends and no longer have any friends because of oneitis
>never again will I have relations with a member of the opposite sex
>>39461868
>walking through the parking lot
>suddenly hear "hey anon!"
>turn and see her waving as she passes by in a car
>stomach turns horribly
>drive home in a panic
>grab my shotgun and seriously consider suicide for the second time in my life
>phone buzzes
>it's a text from her saying "it was cool seeing you for a moment!!"
>force myself to calm down
>text back "yeah"
>she starts texting me almost every day, asking about inane shit
>asks me to meet her for lunch after two weeks
>agree because I figure why not
>show up at agreed time+place
>text her
>nothing for twenty minutes
>drive home feeling like an idiot
>get a call
>she's crying and apologizing, claims something came up and she couldn't even call me
>asks if I'll give her another chance in a few hours
>agree because I don't have anything else to do
>show up and she's already there
>fuck she looks better than ever
>used to be kinda fat desu but now she's exactly what people hope for when they hear the word thicc
>talk for a few hours
>no physical contact because I'm still autistic
>just say goodbye and part our separate ways
>don't contact afterwards
>fast forward to may
>in a mall getting phone replaced
>walk through random stores to not look like I'm doing nothing while waiting (customer service had a waiting list an hour long)
>suddenly feel someone grab my arm
>jump in shock
>turn and see her
>she smiles and says that she's missed me
>talks about some of the stuff she's been up to (drinking, mostly)
>eventually she says she has to go before her boss catches her
>say bye and dash out
>about a month later decide I should do things right
>text her asking her to meet me for lunch
>we have lunch, she mentions some restaurant and says "its food is better, we should go there next time"
>text her a couple of days later
>pic related
>never got a response
And now I'm completely sure she simply wants nothing to do with me. No idea why she acts happy to see me, but I no longer have any feelings towards her.
>be 12
>all other girl friends have crushes on "cute guys" at school, never found anyone cute
>figured I was just stunted
>go to summer day camp
>14 y/o junior councilor is cutest guy I've ever seen, emo looking boy with brown hair and huge blue eyes
>heart immediately beats 1000x harder whenever I see them from far away
>upcoming field trip, scheme to finally speak to them despite overwhelming fear and intimidation
>ask friend at camp what group cute guy is in charge of so I can try and get on his bus
>"which councilor are you talking about anon?"
>describe dreamy features
>"Oh..you mean Crystal?"
>record scratch
>"Yeah, she's kinda tomboyish isn't she? lol Anon did you really think she was a boy?"
>Never speak of crush again
>still admire councilor from afar
>realize I'm a lesbian
Crystal if you're out there I still love you and I hope you got to go to law school like I overheard you talking about so much because you deserve the world
>>39459978
>>39460415
>>39460750
>>39461025
>danced with TWO girls
>asked a girl to a dance and she actually accepted
>doing sports
fucking chad
OP here
>>39461852
Oh dude, that sucks. Such a long term relationship and she just decides to ruin everything with your friends. Guess cheating once means they'll never be loyal
>>39461868
What was I to do? Text her and talk like that when she was ten feet away every lunch? And how was I going to talk to her at lunch when she has her fortress of women eager to ruin my chances?
Honestly though, a part of me deeply, deeply regrets not asking her to homecoming again Sophomore year
>>39462184
Yes, you should've talked to her during lunch. Chances are she told her friends about you. Of course, hindsight is 20/20, and none of us here would've been suave enough to properly approach a girl at that time. Anyway, how long has it been? Do you still have contact? You need closure man, you'll feel a lot better.
>>39462026
Hahahahaha i'm glad that happened to you
>>39460102
At least you tried. That alone is good enough in my eyes.