The moment you realized you weren't normal

>>39420155
>in kindergarten
>notice everyone is in groups
>I don't even know anyone yet
>mystified as to how everyone could know each other this well already
first time I became self aware. Now I know I don't like socializing and want to be left alone.

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>>39420178
Similar experience to you.

>be primary school
>would sit in my corner watching all the other kids play
>one day muster up the courage to ask this group of kids if I could play with them
>this one bitch calls me weird and tells me no
>I look blank and for the first time feel rejection
>never want to play again,l just sit in my corner and hate the world

>>39420155
is this the bong version of penis inspection day?

>>39420251
No this is reality for us, this is what has become.

On the plus side though, least I didn't have to wait till my late teenagehood to realize what a a faggot I was.

>>39420240
>1st grade
>kids ask me to join them
>do so
>not paying attention to what they're doing
>not interested
>eventually walk off to do my own thing because I wasn't paying attention to them anyway even though I was "hanging around" with them

>>39420155
2nd from right?

>>39420178
>be me in 1st grade
>raining outside so indoors recess in the classroom
>all the kids are in groups playing with each other
>decide to look at the board games
>find a chess board
>everyone is too busy in their groups
>too scared and autistic to ask people to play
>play chess by myself and switch sides every time to play for the other side
>actively try to beat myself from both ways
>talk to myself as if I'm playing with another person
>teacher notices and calls my parents
>get diagnosed with autism

>>39420516
Correct, how did you get it right or did you just guess.

>>39420591
Not him but I assumed the same because of the eyes and position of the shoulders

>>39420550
I don't laugh so if I invited someone to play thing would get really uncomfortable.

>>39420591
Something about the look on your face, like you were born to be a sissy. You have really pretty eyes. You look like a sweetheart anon, if you were in Canada I'd bully your boipucci.

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>>39420626
Tell me about it anon, actually now that I think back to it I remember where this might of originated from.

>early on in childhood
>had two friends I'd hang around both we're girl as I didn't like playing with boys
>sometimes they would force me to wear makeup or else I couldn't play with them
>this happened on more than one occasion and ran up till I was at least 12
>at one point I asked them to put it on me willingly because we had nothing to do that day

Jesus, I repressed a lot of shit I wonder what else did this to me.

>>39420155
I'd would have walked out of the school if they tried with me.
I despise strangers touching me.

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>be me
>actual autist
>all grades up to 3 had goo teachers
>dont get me wrong, I was a piece of shit but this bitch was a monster.
>got kicked to the bench in gym.
>refused to go to the office after I wouldnt go back into gym.
>teacher tried to force me from bench.
>nope.rar
>took two staff to drag 3rd grade me to the office off my feet.
>whole class was watching
>mfw thinking back to it

>>39420675
Are you a trap now? It looks great on you btw.

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>>39420155
It began to sink in around 12 or 13 years old, my friends group began thinning and people just didn't seem to be interested in me anymore.

I then moved to a new place and started high school and just never made friends there. I always felt extremely alienated in HS, and likewise people seemed to treat me as the potential school shooter. I just seem to have nothing in common with anyone anywhere I go, I feel completely incompatible with everyone and they quickly sense it in me too.
>>39420697
kek

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>>39420715
Sort of, I still enjoy doing it though I stopped for a year or two as a way of hoping to correct myself. In fact it did the opposite and now I'm even more infatuated with dressing up and doing bad things. I'm now moving back out to my own apartment simply so I can fulfill this damned fetish.

I tried I really did, each time I'd get the craving sensation I'd go for a walk to get my mind of it. If anything trying to repress it just made it worse.

>>39420768
Good luck with everything anon, any guy would be lucky to have a girl like you <3

Playing hockey as young kid, no idea how old I was. I literally took my stick with both hands, raised it over my head, and slashed a id from the other team in the back of the head. All I remember after that is the coach telling me that I can never do that again, face to face.

>>39420812
Did you stab him with your skate too?

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>>39420155
LOL WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS DIMENSION

What country anon?

Looks like every Irish Catholic school ever.

>6th grade
>go on field trip to state fair
>we have to form groups kinda like battle buddies cept there's 4 or 5 of us
>My group consists of myself, 2 brand new kids who had no friends yet, and the medium functioning autistic kid that everybody made fun of
>this was back in the good old days when autism had no name and kids made fun of retards instead of pitying them and pretending to be their friends
>even the new kids were like what the fuck am I doing in this group and wanted nothing to do with me.
and then 9/11 happened like a week later so everyone forgot except for me.
Thanks bro laden

>>39420870
Looks like the UK.

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Cheers anon, you'll probably catch me on a trap thread on /b/ later down the line. Just look for the me wearing a dust mask, I like the look of it I want the ones where you can just buy a pack on 20 and draw on them with a sharpie like in that film 'carriers'.

>>39420870
England, I'm in uni now so I don't know if this shit still occurs but I can only hope it doesn't for their sake. There's enough mentally ill faggots already.

>>39420822
Nope, don't even remember seeing the kid fall, the memory just cuts to my coach after. Might be a dream, but my mom tells me I did shit like this in hockey so probably not. Whatever the kid did, he had it coming.

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>>39420626
Also these are my eyes currently, as you can tell I don't sleep enough

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This you? This guy is like the only person beaming directly into the camera. Either that, or you're the fur coat guy off to the left. Bingo or bongo?

>>39421256
>would you fuck me?
>I'd fuck me
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_DVS_303kQ

>>39421256
you are correct anon, follow this for more information on my weird life.
>>39420591

>>39420155
>>39420516
>>39420591
>>39421256
>>39421342
I'm surprised it's not the guy on the far right. Even though OP looks the most like a sissy, the guy on the right looks much more like a robot.

>>39421469
He wasn't a robot, he was quite popular played footy and hung out. Though he was always nice though, never acted like a dick. The rest of the people in the photograph all bullied me at one point, guy in the fluffy jacket gave me my first black eye.

>>39421518
>guy in the fluffy jacket gave me my first black eye
Is that part of your fetish?

>in kindergarten
>i think it's every friday we have a puppet show thing were you can put on a story with your friends
>one friday its puppet show time, other groups of kids come up and do their shows, tell stories, etc.
>its my turn
>i've made a whale puppet
>i proceed to spend the next three minutes just making splashing noises while I move the whale about as its swimming
>i distinctly remember the other kids looking bored out of their minds
>this didn't register though, I just kept making splashing noises and moving the whale
>teacher eventually stops me, I felt fucking great

>now, 18 years later, I realise this was the beginning of a long descent into madness

>>39421541
No I just got bullied a hell of a lot, never really spoke to anyone outside my small circle but I was targeted because I was socially inept.

Guy who punched me spat some coke from in mouth into the back of my head while I was facing away from him, I was talking to my friend when next thing I know I turn around and snapped for the first time. I grab a large stick and started swinging at him, that was a bad mistake as he did kick boxing apparently in his spare time and floored me.

Next thing I remember was being rushed to hospital for possible fractures around my eye, after that I left my circle and went into isolation and just stayed either in the IT room or Art Classrooms.

>>39420155
Is that Conyers OP? I went to that school too. And then became a trap. Must be something in the water.

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>>39421558
>I proceed to spend the next three minutes just making splashing noises while I move the whale about as its swimming

Sounds like a whale of a time anon, those kids don't know what they were missing.

How the hell is this abnormal?

This is typical pseduo-sexual shit that women love to do. Males who are into 'sissification' stuff don't just get it out of nowhere, women enjoy doing these sorts of things with boys, and boys generally like it. Who wouldn't enjoy being up close and having a girl touch your face? There's literally a whole movement for this - ASMR videos. It's pleasurable to be 'mothered', touched up close, etc. Female faces are usually pleasant especially when they're laughing and happy.

Was this just an excuse to post a photo of yourself?

>>39421616
Holy shit yeah it is, what year did you leave?

2012 for me.

>>39421635
Doesn't sound like a believable story without proof how fucked up shit was there.

>>39421647
2009, I think. I stayed for sixth form too. It was a pretty nice school, but I wish I could have a do-over of it sometimes. I hope life is treating you better these days, anon.

>>39420768
>now I'm even more infatuated with dressing up and doing bad things
what kind of bad things, naughty girl?

no but seriously, what's the big deal about being a part-time closet transvestite?
there's a lot freakier and more dangerous fetishes out there, a lot more
not to mention some chicks are into crossdressers
wait, are you even straight? what's your sexuality?

>>39421688
It is, found myself quite happy with where I am currently. It was nice for some, but hell for me though I guess it depends on you're experience.

Kinda cool to see that I'm not the only one from that place that ended here, if you want you can add me on discord not for trap fun but it be nice to have someone who fell into a similar position to talk about shit every now and then.

clerk#6652

>>39421717
I don't know to be honest, I like chicks but sometimes I get ideas about men. Maybe bi?

>>39421794
are you a virgin? what's the farthest you've been with someone?
when was the last time you dressed? how far did you take it? pics?

>>39421812
like I mentioned it's been about two years since I dressed up, deleted all my pics when I tried to "fix" myself. Virgin, though I've blown my best friend (guy) and swallowed I would do it again.

>>39421852

Not the guy you're responding to. How did you end up blowing your best friend? Story? Why would you do it again? What did it taste like?

>legally enforced monthly anti-psychotic injections for being paranoid
>need anti-depressants because crippling
>need diazepam just to not feel
>hospitalised several times due to talking about what I was thinking
>friends with a pregnant exotic massage therapist and a chronically suicidal dishwasher repairman

It's probably not as bad as it sounds

>>39420155
It was not an instant, but a slow, gradual realization for me.

>kindergarten
>I was not told why I have to be left there by mom
>cry
>get bullied for crying, there was this guy, lets call him Terry
>Terry always fucking around with everyone, bullying, never gets put down
>skip 20 years, Terry beat up his own mum after she found out he was stealing from her a lot of money
>anyways, didn't even try to make friends, but somehow I got one, play nintendo at their place, guy was chill, but a bit socially inept, like me
>so in kindergarten, I am building a sand building, girl comes there, stomps on it, laughs
>I stomp on her building
>I get to stand in the corner for an hour, but she doesn't
>playing inside, other kids tell me to gtfo, no idea why
>I don't
>tell them to fuck off
>standing in corner for bad language
>another guy starts bullying me, now a huge white trash
>tell him to fuck off
>kicks me in the fucking face, my nose is bleeding
>I GET TO STAND IN THE CORNER AS PUNISHMENT BECAUSE APPARENTLY I STARTED IT, REEEEEEE
>bring toy car to play with because then others couldn't just tell me to they want to play with the thing I chose, and take it
>afternoon, time to go home
>grab car
>anon you can't take that car home
>b-but it's mine
>no, if you bring it here, it's everyone's now
>bullshit, every now and then kids brought their own toys and they could bring those home
>tell grandma, she is told the same, go home crying, it was my favorite toy at the time
>next day dad goes in and takes it for me, but it still killed my trust in people a bit
>looking back, I think I was punished by standing in the corner more than the whole bunch of kids combined
>also I was picked on because I can't draw for shit and they told me that I draw like a toddler

>>39421852
>it's been about two years since I dressed up
welp, interest lost.
>I've blown my best friend (guy) and swallowed
wow, you fuckin slut
>>39421065
wouldn't mind looking down and seeing those round pretty girly eyes while getting sucked

>>39421875

>best friend was bi
>I was unsure whether I was gay or some shit
>he offered to blow me, I agreed hesitantly
>afterwards I offered to do it back
>I started blowing him using techniques I learned off of 4chan from some point, the information I read just comes to me naturally
>he's enjoying it, so I go faster and deep throat
>he cums, I swallow but keep going
>it tastes sweet which was a surprise because I thought it was suppose to be salty
>sat up and said "hey that wasn't too bad"
>he tells me to shut up in a jokey manner

That's basically it, afterwards we just drank and didn't talk about it. He did say we should fuck sometime, but I changed the conversation.

>>39421905
I was 17 at the time, so it's not like I've changed all too much.

>>39421897
>elementary school
>get put in a relatively nice class, glad kindergarten is over
>sit at the very back, with a grill I could make friends with easily
>I was quite smart because mom made me do math exercises and gave me English lessons, and I could read (about half of the class couldn't)
>get good grades, but for some reason get bullied, but I beat all the bullies, or at least I tried hard
>parents called in almost every week because of my "bad behavior"
>2nd grade I get glasses, I am teased a lot for it
>teased for getting good grades
>Terry from kindergarten one time while I was waiting for an afternoon activity class comes up to me
>out of the blue he kicks me in the fucking shin with his football shoes
>it fucking hurts, my shin was purple for a week after
>I cry
>tell teacher
>Terry denies, teacher tells me it's a bad thing to tell on people
>draw pencil figure porn cartoon, like 5 A4 pages, with world like "fuck me" "let me suck your cock" "do you like it you whore"
>influenced by my friend who was watching porn non stop at home on his tv, and had a spread eagle as pc wallpaper
>tell him to take it home
>he tells teacher
>parents get called in
>not a single word about it, ever

>>39421965
>I was 17 at the time
so you're legal now?
want some dick pics?

angry child here
>be me, kindergarten
>violent tendencies
>friend talks open mouth while he eats
>gastrointestinal puffing fist in the stomach
>when on trips venturing outside kindergarten perimiters, we walked in a train of kids holding hands two and two
>absolutely forbidden to NOT hold partners hand
>paired with annoying friend
>faggot won't stop talking
>gastrointestinal puffing
>psycho kid comes up to me while I'm innocently playing with a ball
>for some reason I don't remember starts fighting me
>bit him as hard as I could in the shoulder, drawing blood
>stomp on his head
>eventually no longer allowed to go on trips with the other kids, having to stay back with the weirdo kids (no offense, as those kids were probably autistic, 3-6 year old me didn't have any empathy
>eventually thrown expelled and had to stay with old lady next door while mom was at work

wasn't until years later that I realised that it was in that moment I SHOULD have realised that there was something wrong with me. still have intense anger issues and impulse control. I don't know when to stop in a fight, anger takes over

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Who /denial/ here? I went through secondary school a friendless KV, but told myself I was secretly a genius sociopath who didn't need other people. I'd play games like work out where to eat lunch without being disturbed. When I started dropping grades, it was because school was too boring for me.

>>39422043
Not right now famalam, gotta go to bed been up all night

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>Grade 3
>Scholastic book fair shipments came in.
>the girls bought their typical girly shit.
>the guys bought Captain Underpants or superhero shit
>I order a DIY electronic project thing (build your own morse code machine, how light bulbs work, make your own radio, etc)
>I also ordered a book about birds
>Spent my whole time during recess for a month tinkering with that thing while everyone else played tag or soccer
>I would look at everyone else around me thinking
>"Why am I always by himself?".
>"Why does no one else like this stuff too?"

That DIY kit was fucking rad, It was like $20 too.

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>>39422104
kek I got violent during grade 4 when people kept bullying me. I stabbed a kid with a pencil and the bullying stopped.

>>39420178
There's a magnetic force that pulls normals together into social groups. We were born without the passive ability to project it.

>>39422409
I was a normie as a child though, somehow I've lost this ability over the years.

>>39420155
>tfw born too late for put make up on the boys day