High School Stories

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>>39372434
>early 2000s
>full neo attire
During the peak of the Columbine meme sure is a great time for Matrix cosplay.

>tfw failed penis inspection day and had to do private tutoring with the grey toothed health teacher

>>39372434
>drives to school
>still turns up late
Typical american.

>>39372793
was too hyped to play dress up and completely forgot about reality.

>>39373098
How can you have penis inspection day, I mean i had nightmares with a day like that when I was younger, wtf is wrong with america.

We had to go to the doctor every year, it was mandatory and he did an inspection on all our body not just penis. Wtf USA

>>39373297
It really wasn't that bad, I usually had a female inspector. The only times I didn't like it was when Mr. McCay took us individually into the closet

bruh you gotta embrace the joke, it was a joke costume

I suppose you were just a dumb kid who thought you were actually Neo

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>>39372434
>always sat alone at lunch because loser
>got called into the principles office about it since it was "weird"
>entire school found out about that meeting within the hour and made things worse
>school gets a shooting/bomb threat
>I end up getting called in as the suspect despite camera evidence since I was "creepy" and a loner

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>Be me 17 y/o weirdo
>am shy and my class was aware of the fact and werent picking on me too much
>next year all teachers got swithced with other ones, clueless as to why
>the new ones are massive dicks, are constantly picking on me
>tfw this should be an elite school
>they made more fun of me than my fucking classsmates
>now my classmates are starting to bully me more
>decided to tell dad cuz im too much of a wuss to go columbine
>told dad only about my geography teacher being a cuckold 70 y/o fag
>dad talks to him
>teacher scared shitless cuz my dad is 200 kg fat as fuck
>teacher tells the other teachers
>next day literally no teach bullied me
>got higher grades cuz dad they let me do almost whatever i like
>classmates still bully me but idontgiveafuck.jpeg
:^) pic unrelated

>>39372434
yeah, you didnt look like neo

>>39373297
Penis inspection day is a total meme Americans made up because its funny.

Why do Europeans belive everything they hear about Americans?

>>39373098
Americans have a lot of cars because the most everywhere is unwalkable. His school could have easily been 15-20 miles away

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related to everyone ITT <3

>>39373688
>Penis inspection day is a total meme Americans made up because its funny.

W- w- wait, anon. You're telling me my gym teacher WASN'T supposed to inspect my wee wee every month? He said it was normal, anon, you must be lying about your experiences. Silly anon.

>>39373594
I fucking looked like Neo you fuck I was a lanklet just like him

>>39372434
>Get caught hacking high school servers because some snitch was looking over my shoulder and saw me do it
>Get forced to do 100 hrs community service
>Suddenly everyone goes from being cunts to me to being afraid of me
>Teachers afraid too. I shit you not 1 comes up to me and says "anon, don't be a bad hacker, be a good hacker...don't hack my bank account."
People are dumb.

>>39373098
>tries to talk down to Americans
>doesnt capitalize the A
I'm sorry, who are americans? I only know Americans.

>>39373735
how the fuck else are you supposed to get water, the tap? are you shitting me? have you ever had tap water? it's fucking garbage. kill yourself

>>39373802
No anon penis inspection day was real. Idk why the other anon is lying.
Some schools do it differently tho.
At my school the coach would inspect my penis to make sure everything was in order, then would have a group of 6/10 to 9/10 girls wearing long socks and short skirts to come over and step on your penis to make sure it was firm enough. If you weren't taking care of your penis you'd get bad grades obviously.
I don't know what they did for breast inspection day; they never seemed to include the male students in that.

>>39373735
>plastic water bottles are bad now
since when

>>39373688
>Why do Europeans belive everything they hear about Americans?

Why do Ameripoors suffer some such severe autism that they can't process people playing along with the joke?

>>39374012
did your teacher actually say that? top kekeroni

>>39374038

>being this painfully awful

>>39373537
Why would they be scared of
> 200kg fat as fuck?
Unless mostly muscle? Or your papa is in the mafia? Are your teachers just ultimate cunts and are scared of anyone talking to them? That would explain why they pick on shy kids

>>39374012
I'm guessing this "hacking" just was like "oh somebody left this on"

Either way, despite punishment I guess it's good that people actually feared you instead of talking down to you.

>>39374184
tall musclefats are literally the most intimidating kind of people

>>39372434
Hahahaha

HIGH SCHOOL ?!!!

BITCHBOY, I NEVER EVEN MADE IT TO THE 9th GRADE

IM AN 8th GRADE DROPOUT

faggot

And I'm more intelligent than you
And I get pussy
And I make more money

Notice I didn't say 'i get MORE pussy than you'll

Because you don't get any

>>39374038
Are you this bad irl? A true robot?

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Here's what it's like to have a woman in love with you

Fuck your stories

>>39374184
People who become teachers don't like confrontation with adults. They're used to confronting kids.

>>39374210
No, I actually had to use SQL injection (there was a web-based portal used for doing grades, and they used the same password for the main admin account as they did for the ssh credentials) and then crack the hashes using a hybrid mask+dictionary attack.
They didn't expel me because I didn't do anything malicious and had access for like 2 months+

>>39374241
>Notice I didn't say 'i get MORE pussy than you'll
>Because you don't get any
I guess you should've finished those 8th grade English and math classes after all...

>>39374138
Chemicals in the plastic get into the water. It's even worse when the weather is hot. Never leave a plastic water bottle, containing water, in direct sunlight.

>>39374138
well, bad for the environment since always

>>39374012
Wow great story anon you're so cool!

>>39372434
A little tiny bump

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>>39374077
>mfw have some of the best tap water in the world
eat shit bottledrinkers

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>>39374327
u /<-/~4/> nigga

>>39373098
You showed up to highschool on time? Way to be a faggot normie

>>39373438
Sorry anon. Staff at schools tend to be serious pricks

>>39374752
>goes to school
who the fuck did this

>>39374752
Only edgy normies showed up late.
>Hurdur it's just so fucking hard to be in my seat by 8

>>39374794
>Should be in my seat at 8:00
Why when you can show up late with taco bell and eat in class like a true American?

>>39374038
For the future, it's "doesn't," friend.

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>Be in "technology class", basically just "how to do stuff on IOS"
>Class full of stacies
>Teacher call us to the front of the room
>Quickly go to my friends computer and set pic related as background and close all windows
>2 minutes later
>Class goes back to their computers
>See pic related on my friends computer
>Stacies flip a shit

>>39372434
>be me, 17
>starting to become /fit/ at weight training class cause I dropped out of band and apparently that doesn't count for my p.e grade
>makes two cool gym friends. rubio (not is actual name) is a soccer player with a qt3.14 girl who's 5'2 and rick (once again, not his actual name) is a pretty chill bro who can bench 20+ pounds. me and rubio are seniors while rick is a junior.
>everyone in the class is pretty chill and cool. except for this one kid
>meet john, a freshman who embodies all the things I hate the most about pre-pubescent teenagers. hyperactive, tries to impress the ladies despite being 5'0, voice that makes you want to stab a needle in your eardrums, and always talks even when the coach is trying to tell the class something
>he's also one of those kids who tries to be funny but ends up annoying everyone
>everyone had to deal with him for awhile. he was always up to dumb shit like pulling the girl's hair, yelling into people's ears, and trying to trip people (even though most of his attempts failed most of the time. well, MOST of the time)
>one day, me and the bros are doing some Kettlebell swings (alongside with rubio's gf)
>john pulls her hair because "Haha It's Le Funneh"
>rubio says to john "what the fuck are you trying to do with my girl, bro?"
>john runs away giggling like a little fucking scrawny goblin
>rubio and his gf are pretty pissed, but me and rick say that we should just ignore the guy
>we do and continue going on with our exercises
>minutes later, the coach tells us to head back to the locker rooms cause the period was almost over
>we're just heading to the rooms, rubio gives his gf a kiss n shit while me and rick talk about vidya games
>keep in mind that rick is a pretty chill guy. it's nearly impossible to piss him off. in fact, we never seen him pissed off at all.
>everything was going well. we walk into the hallway to the locker room. until me and rubio heard a loud thump behind us.

>>39374077

>he lives in the 3rd world shithole where water from the tap isn't delicious and refreshing!

Why are you alive? What purpose does being as poor and worthless as you serve?

>>39375031

This story fucking sucks.

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>>39375031
cont.

>we realized what happened. john finally tripped over someone. but we didn't realize that it was rick that he tripped
>we looked at rick, who fell face forward to the ground. while we also saw john doing that little demon giggle.
>rick gets up from his fall. but something is not good.
>rick 's face went from being this neutral look to being a total fucking death stare.
>rick turns to john immediately with this look of pure rage.
>ohshitjustgotreal.jpg
>john's little face went from being this smugness to genuine fear.
>before john could say or do anything, rick picks him up from his shirt with one hand and BLAM. punches him so hard that we head the back of john's head hit the wall behind him
>rick starts throwing down more punches towards john, we can see john whimpering and crying in the corner where he tripped rick.
>people started to hear john's cries for help and mercy. they look out at the main hallway to see john getting pumbled.
>me and rubio try to calm down rick, pulling him away from john
>rick gave one more punch and stepped back from john.
>"now listen hear you little shit" rick said, "if I catch you doing this fucking shit again I swear to god i'll beat your fucking ass. do I make myself clear?"
>john nods with a whimper and proceeds to run out of the hallway
>rick wipes off the nosebleed he got from that trip
>mfw after this happened, john stopped being a little goblin and was quite for the rest of the semester
>mfw rick never got in trouble for what happened
>mfw the rest of the semester was cool af

>>39374012
This happened mate

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>Be me 17 years old
>Decide to take AP Physics because why not and I liked honors the year before
>Teacher decides he doesn't give a shit about anything anymore
>100% of tests are online
>Teacher would tell us shit at the start of class like "today we're doing posters about magnetism", then do nothing for an hour
>Never really taught anything
>Often actually asleep during class
>Exam comes up
>Nobody knows what the fuck they're doing
>Class cheats the fuck out of the test
>Next class
>"I know you all cheated"
>Our class average on the test was DOUBLE the other class
>Decides to just drop the test from the grade because he couldn't prove anything
>Continues not giving a fuck as we watched movies blasted music or played golf with yardsticks and ping pong balls for the rest of the year

>>39374077
Lmao my tap water is cold and pristine straight from the glaciers of the glorious Canadian Rockies. Just because you cant drink el watero in Mexico city .....

>>39374874
>true american
>eats the food of the country which they are literally trying to fucking barricade off to keep out

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>when your school hires GOAT passionate programming teachers for advanced tech classes, but the people who signed up are complete retards who barely know what a computer is
>that patriotic feel during the upperclassmen pep rally when the JV teams parade near us and we unanimously boo the shit out of them
>when the qt girl of your dreams thinks you're stalking here when you're really just trying to get home
>when you stay up late trying to finish your stupid science fair board, but all it does is make your teacher cry (and he forces you to redo it)
>When the qt teacher gives you a 100 on a presentation you never did because you actually put in an effort on your other homework
>When you stay up late browsing the chans and discover that there are not only similar losers like you across the world, but they're actually super funny and really fun to get along with
>when your academic decathlon team gets to go to Nationals on a technically
>when the GOAT music teacher you look up to sincerely tells you and your friend that you're one of the smartest students he's ever met

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>Go to FFA "leadership" camp
>Get stomach flu
>Anon you can't go back to the lodge and go to bed, no one's allowed
>Everyone has to go to the huge normie dance
>Sit in chair while trying to keep from vomiting and normies dancing
>Camp councilor continues to bother me over and over "Anon you should go out there and dance or youll regret it"
>No I want to sit here I don't feel good
>Fellow chapter members think they're funny and get some chick to dance with me
>Slowly move back and forth like an autistic squirrel with chick while I tried to avoid barfing on her
>Anonyoudidgood(whataweirdo).jpg
>Go back and sit down while chapter members laugh
>Councilor chick bothers me again about going and dancing cause fun

>>39375492
>taco bell is authentic Mexican food
Clearly you've never had taco bell

>>39375020
bideo games