Alpha thread

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>checkin yourself out in the mirror
>doin sweet poses and recording yourself
Alpha.

>setting up a date with a roastie from tinder and then not showing up
>staying at home and watching anime while that dumb bitch eats with her fucking self
Alpha.

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>practicing mad psychokenesis skills
>remotely toppling house pets like it's nothing
Alpha.

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>being American
>changing last name to Merica
Alpha.

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Oh come on. Sure 4chan isn't so reddit at this point that there's literally no more creativity left.

>someone taking pics of you when you don't want them to
>menacingly walk towards them
Alpha.

fine to hell with you reddit fucks. I'm going to make some garlic rice.

>>39324733
soy serio wen a bitch says "fuck me" & u reply "beep beep boop bip bah bah humbug"

dropkicking my mother down the stairs because she told me to get a job. Fuck that bitch honestly, glad dad is missing out.

>>39326740
I'll teach you how to swin
Teach me how to drown