Hello gentlemen. I am /r9k/s resident genie, what three

1. erase all possibilities of universes

I wish the DHS would stop flying over my house and hitting me with their sonic sound weapons.

That's really it. Everything else I will earn myself but I cannot work if I cannot sleep from being a guinea out of sonic sound weapons testing on me.

Thank you.

>>39308279
I take it there wont be a second wish?

>>39308261
Are there any rules? Because if not then obviously the cliche infinite wishes wish.

If not:
>lots of money or some way to never have to work for rest of life and can buy what I want
>qt gf
>happiness

>>39308261
Erase all memories of her from my mind
That's all I need

>>39308261
Please remove my autism. Thanks

Answer me this: why am I a demi-god?

>>39308287
Begging your pardon sir, but it appears I am unable to grant your wish. Are you sure this is occurring?
>>39308304
No wishing for more wishes I'm afraid. May I have an example of a qt you would like?
>>39308319
Very well sir. May you fill your mind with better memories

Don't be mad at me because I figured it out.

If anything that means I caught your mistakes and should be promoted for being smart.

You paint me a traitor but I lived and grew up here I know no other home.

>>39308261
Wish 1 : anything i say will happen or is true so long as the word "Amen" is said 3 a prior statement after it without limitation.

Wish 2-3: iunno you can go free since i can warp reality now

>>39308351
You can donate my other two wishes to the anon who wanted to wish for more

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>>39308336
Easily done sir
>>39308345
I'm sorry, I cannot answer such a question.

>>39308371
3 seconds after a prior statement.

>>39308261
Only one wish.
I wish to be completely removed from the world as if i never existed in the first place.
And also if there should there be an afterlive please remove me also from that.
I and any trace of me should be exterminated.
Thank you.

How far am I on the PRISM? Level 84?

Has anyone gotten as far as me?

>>39308376
Cool, when will the effects kick in?

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>>39308371
A fine wish indeed. I appreciate the gesture but I'm not sure what I would do with such freedom
>>39308375
Very generous of you sir
>>39308393
You shall vanish like a snowflake in the sun

>>39308261

i wish to be able to read/control minds
i wish i had a Jiminy Cricket of my own (not affected by my powers, intangible and immortal) to make sure i don't become a psychopath.


And i wish for you to be free

>>39308261
>ww3 within 1 week

>>39308376
You sure are a shit gayenie. Can't even answer a simple obvious quiestion.

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1. let me meet my wife
2. let us live a happy life alone from others
3. erase all existence when we naturally die

thank you genie <3!!!

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>>39308447
A most impressive power. You are wise to be mindful of it's potential danger
>>39308464
You might not even need to use a wish for this
>>39308493
Happily done dear anon. I hope you have a splendid like together!

>>39308571
>You might not even need to use a wish for this

just do it fgt.

also, some money, let's say 10k would be nice(don't wanna be 2 greedy u kno). Maybe in the form or lottery or some shit. Along with perhaps a drop in the value of all cryptocurrency.

gib invisibilty pls. (not like the one I already have; actual invisibility)

>>39308261
I have no idea why r9k has started using classic twilight zone clips in all its threads, but I really really appreciate it.

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>>39308722
>let's say 10k would be nice
I will, as they say, make it rain
>>39308788
Just to clarify, you would like the ability to switch the power off and on?

>>39308261
bring me and my true klove together pls
make me more intelligent
make me more robust
thanks, Robin Williams

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Please give me an incredible singing voice, make me the best looking man on earth in terms of physical qualities and make me extremely rich so i can indulge in pure unadulterated hedonism before suicide.


Thank you very much btw both for the wishes and this brief escapism from hell

>>39308261
1. I'd like to be an extremely talented artist so that my comic can take off.

2. I'd like to live somewhere that's comfy for me. A slightly small apartment building in a busy American city where I won't have to worry about citizenship or money.

3. I'd like to stay in the peak physical condition for a 21 year old for the rest of my life. No worrying about health issues!

Have a good day Mr. Genie.

>>39308261
1. the perfect girl for me
2. a shitload of money
3. i'd like that some people that i know will be happy and with a decent life

I WISH ALL YOUR WISHES HAD A SICK MONKEY'S PAW TWIST TO THEM STARTING AFTER THIS WISH

>>39308261
1.Big cock
2.Even bigger cock
3.Make everyone else's cocks smaller

>>39308852
>Just to clarify, you would like the ability to switch the power off and on?

switch it on by clapping my hands three times within 5 seconds. Switch it off by clapping 3 times again within 5 seconds. ty good sir.

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>>39308928
Oh no sir this could cause some dreadful problems. I'd hate for any anons to suffer ironic punishments.

>>39308261
1. Make me a billionare (put into my bank account)

2. Make it so i dont have to pay taxes

3. Make it so my money never arouses suspicion with the local and federal government

There, now i can start granting my own wishes.

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>>39308983
Top up vote my anonymous buddy

>>39308261
Can I wish for a non-arabic mythological creature to talk with instead? How do you understand English so well anyway.

Greetings Mr. Genie,
I'm not the best person in the world, but I wanted a reason to get back home everyday, so my first wish would be to my imaginary GF (a.k.a. Waifu) becomes real.
My second wish is for my friends, his is so depresssed and almost took some bad decisions, I want him to be cured for his depression. He does not need to be happy, just not depressed, please.
My third and final wish is to him to find his perfect girl, that way he can't get depressed ever again!
Thank you mr. Genie

>>39309012
I WISH THAT THIS GUY >>39309090 COULD ONLY BREATHE THROUGH HIS MOUTH

AND I WISH I WOULD SWITCH BODIES WITH THIS GUY >>39308983

>>39309127
I wish upon this lad a Caps Lock that shall endure the march of time and history.

>>39309127
I wish he could not make wishes and undo any wish hes made.

Wish 2 make said person shit through his mouth and must eat through his asshole

Wish 3 my wish cannot be undone regardless of logic

Hello genie, hope that you are doing well. My first wish is for me to have a much larger penis, perhaps 3 inches longer in length and 2 inches larger in girth. My second wish is for my balding to reverse completely. My third wish is for me to be able to make money very easily all throughout my life in various circumstances. Thank you, that is all.

What would YOU wish for, genie?

>>39309788
I WISH HIS WISHES WERE UNDONE EXCEPT FOR WISH 3 WHICH CAN'T BE UNDONE REGARDLESS OF LOGIC

I WISH YOU WOULD ALSO DO MY LAUNDRY

>>39308261
I want her to text back

>>39308261
1. Make me attractive.
2. Make me find love.
3. Make me happy.

>>39308261
Let me win the lottery when I choose to buy another ticket
I want a longer and bigger penis
I want to be able to work a job I like

>>39310497


granted, (turns you into a puppy)

>>39310440
Pls genie