Tardy Claus

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All statements tards say have been translated for your reading pleasure. Good luck.


>Be me
>16
>Parents forced me to help downies and other tards on the holidays as volunteer work because they're cunts
>Go there for the first time, Tards are the average monstrosities you hear from the other victims of these beings
>Start chatting up this one Tard, he screams and sets off the entire building
>ohshit.jpg
>This one tard runs into me in the chaos, He is wearing a child's fake santa beard, The elastic is half chewed
>I force him off me as he starts to play with this little bell attached to his wrist in the tune of one of the christmas songs you hear in wallmart in november
>He is heavy as fuck, takes me ages to get him off
>He screams when I take him off me, then forces himself onto me using his downie strength
>I don't know what to do at this point, I can't win
>He shits him self in the panic
>ohgodpleaseno.png
>He stares at me, he calls me "Felix" in his tard language
>I say to him "My name is not Felix, But I'd love to know yours" in hopes it would calm him down fast enough to get him off and bolt for a shower
>"MINE IS SANTA"
>I sit there as he still forces him self ontop of me, I'm about to throw up at this moment
>I say to him "Could you get off of me, Shantor?" trying to mimic what he said
>He gets visibly upset
>FuckNo.JPG
>He stands up and points at me, his hands shake, making his bell rattle at an ear-blistering rate
>He starts to scream and says "YOU HAVE MADE IT ONTO THE NAUGHTY LIST"
>???.Cancer
>Tard Wranglers break into the room and start to pull "Santa" off of me, It takes three of them
>I run out of the room and Santa forgets everything that happened, as he starts to chew on the elastic of his fake beard
>This was the start of a cancerous fucking relationship.