How do I take the casinos for millions?

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>>39269765
hey kid, the house always wins.

>>39269765
Get lucky and then leave with your winnings

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>>39269765
>casino
>expecting to win millions
Don't you know the house always wins? Part II

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>>39270323
you've gone and busted

>work at casino
>see many people toss away millions of dollars over the last few years
>they all beg for money to keep going because that next jackpot is just a lever pull away
>they usually end up killing themselves or having to move away from temptation

The only way to win is if you know a card games dealer inside. Even then, most bosses can catch you and toss you out and ban you.

>>39269765
>>39270393
learn to count cards

you don't.

If you go to a casino to make money you better be playing at no limit holdem tables or else you're an idiot

>taking the casinos money
>not learning basic poker fundamentals and playing 1/2 NL, making 20$ an hour minimum off of dumb drunk normies who are literally throwing their money at you.

This should be the ultimate robot pastime desu.

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>>39270446
this guy gets it originally originally

>>39270421
Card counting, a perfectly legitimate strategy, is against the rules in casinos.

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>>39269765
If we knew, we wouldn't be here.

ORIGNIAL

>>39270502
but they never know if your doing it or not since its all in your head

>>39270421
>>39270502

Plus it doesn't work anymore in casinos worth their salt because blackjack tables all run at least 2 decks

>>39270522
>2
hah, try 5

you dont,

my cousin blew a half a mill there trying to be a hot shot pro poker player.

>>39269765
Learn how to bluff

Then say, heh nothin personal kiddo.

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>>39270575
but bluffing is scary, what if they reraise me?

>>39269765
>go to casino with 500
>go on a 1/400,000~ losing streak in blackjack
>literally lost every hand in the shoe
>every double bet would fuck me, dealer would always combo out a 21 from a 2 out of fucking nowhere
>not a single 20 on the player's side the whole game
>lose 500
>leave
you dont

>>39270597
you fold, duh

2plus2.com

>>39270597
so what. its just money.
but yeah >>39270630

>>39270597
Its really hard to be good at it because you cant just use odds alone. There are books devoted to the technique.

>>39270597
When you get a good hand, bluff a bluff. When you get a bad hand, bluff bluffing a bluff. Hell you could go even further and bluff bluffing a bluff bluffing a bluff, we can keep going but eventually they will get tired of thinking the same sentence with another bluff. So bluff expecting them to do that, they will realize your plan obviously, so you bluff bluffing that you bluff to the power of infinity a bluff. By the time you reach the 2millionth bluff they would have given up counting but bluff your bluff and a bluff of a bluff of a bluff of a bluff of a bluff of a bluff of a bluff of a bluff of a bluff of a bluff of a bluff of a bluff of a bluff of a bluff of a bluff of a bluff of a bluff of a bluff of a bluff of a bluff of a bluff of a bluff of a bluff of a bluff of a bluff of a bluff x infinity

>>39270518
Card counting is a betting strategy, so they watch bets for signs of counting.

>>39269765
The house always wins.

FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT ORIGINAL FILTER. I SAID EVERYTHING I WANTED TO FUCKING SAY.

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>>39269765
Play texas hold'em (no limit of course)(or pai-gow if you REALLY wanted to), roulette, baccarat, and/or craps. Blackjack is honestly meme-tier garbage that only gambling addicts play, and eitherway its only worth playing if you can card-count which is useless because most casinos will use up to 5 decks (or sometimes more) of cards. Avoid anything done electronically ala keno, slots, video poker etc. Since it's done electronically it's way too easy to be rigged and works like an arcade game where you have to put in a certain amount of money to win the "prize" where-in the prize is the jackpot. Also avoid any sidebets like Royal Match, Royal 20s, O/U 13 because they're just not worth even doing with how little you get in return and it chips away at your dosh anyways. You could also try sports betting if you follow some sport and your local casino does sports betting. Also view betting as a "business" where you put aside a certain amount of "investment money" that you put into the casino games. If you lose all that money then don't sweat it but DON'T use any more than that investment money, that's how you get gambling addicted, and if you win you have more "investment money" for the next time, also free booze.

>>39270446
>playing 1/2 NL

What is 1/2 NL?

>>39270730
>several people say the exact same thing throughout the thread
>get surprised when the filter detects spam

>>39270544

I thought it was 6--but anyway, you can still do it but it requires a lot of concentration and you'd need to practice at home for like a year or something, 2 hours a day or so, to be at all smooth about it.

>>39270753

DEFINITELY don't play Keno--ridiculous odds. There are 80 numbers so 1/80 chance to win a one-draw, and yet the prize is $3.

>>39270756
1/2 no limit

means that small blind is one dollar big blind is 2 dollars, and there is no limit on raises. IE: as the big blind you can reraise to 75 dollars to steal t he blinds

>>39270446
Is there still money to be made playing online poker? I'm a NEET with nothing else to do and want to make money, I've given up on everything else

>>39270838
yes, but it's harder to do because you have to judge peoples play based purely on how they play rather than how they are at a poker table. There are few tells in online poker

You gotta know their tricks, otherwise house always wins
How else would Casinos make money of the games weren't rigged in their favor?

>>39270838
Pretty sure LEGAL online poker is banned in the US, and pretty much most online poker or hell online gambling site in general before it was illegal was a scam anyway. You're far better off just going to Vegas/Atlantic City/Local Casino so you can see the dealer actually deal

>>39270901
Good thing I'm English then

>>39271141
Well like I said before, most online gambling sites are pretty scammy anyways

>>39271157
I will give it a try anyway, I don't have much choice. No other way to earn money worked out for me and I'll never get a normal job.

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>>39269765
>I've lost over $2,000 in poker buy in tournaments over the last 2 weeks due to stupid bullshit such as losing with AA pre or AK vs AQ or JJ VS J110 or high pockets vs low pockets who flop trips

I seriously don't understand how anyone can do this consistently.

It's like it doesn't matter how good you are or how well you put your chips in with the best % of winning because when you run deep in tournament the last 25% of the event is shoving all in because the blinds are so high it's all flips anyways.

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>>39271236
>>39271157
you should be good. ever since the great happening of 2011 most online poker sights got whipped into shape. Just use a popular one and you are fine.

>>39271272
>tfw bad beats

a couple days ago I lost 500 dollars on one hand with KJ spades vs 7-2 diamonds. I raised preflop, he called, flop came q(diamond)-10-4. I bet 150 he calls, turn comes 9 of diamonds. I shove, he calls me, fucking river is a diamond.

how come whenever I chase flushes I get fucked but when other people do I get sucked out on

>>39269765
fall down the stairs

If you're gonna play the game, boy
You gotta learn to play it right

You've got to know when to hold 'em Know when to fold 'em
Know when to walk away And know when to run
You never count your money When you're sittin' at the table
There'll be time enough for counting When the dealin's done

Every gambler knows That the secret to survivin'
Is knowin' what to throw away And knowin' what to keep
'Cause every hand's a winner And every hand's a loser
And the best that you can hope for is to die In your sleep

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>>39269765

take the casinos millions

Reeeee Scott stopppp

>thinking you can beat house advantage in today's age
protip: you can't

Phil Ivey, one of the best poker players in the world basically walked into a casino with another woman and cheated them out of 10 million playing Baccarat.
they used house rules: the house did everything they asked, including letting them choose their decks and how they were dealt.
he's still getting sued for 10 mil, even for exploiting vulnerability in the house.

the only card you need is the ace of spades

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>>39270446
>do this
>move up to 3/5 and just recently 5/10 after enough grinding
>on track for a 100k year
>get to use superior intellect to outplay normalfags and take their money

feels so good desu