Why are you so fucked up? Where did you/your parents go wrong?

>>39251679
You exposed your consciousness self to the unconsciousness of sexuality despite not having undergone your psychosexual development. In short you molested yourself since you exposed yourself to sex or sexual acts at a too young an age

>>39251926
So I done for before my life even began, well shit.

>>39251970
I wish I knew anon. Maybe it's because I was sheltered, homeschooled and an only child. I guess the animals I had to care for every day were the closest things I had to objects of affection.

My sister molested me as a kid. I was 4 years old but remember it vividly. Yes, it was the hot kind of molestation, but in hindsight, it was damaging.
She pinned me down on the floor and pushed her pussy right against my face. I can very clearly remember the sight and specifically the smell of her pussy. I haven't been able to form any relationships with women because they scare me, but at the same time I have an unhealthy obsession with the female genitalia.
I've stolen panties from the laundry room on multiple occasions, just so I can sniff them and compare scents, imagining what type of woman wore them. Whenever I'm at someone's home, I go in their bathroom and see if they have their laundry basket in there and if so, I sniff the panties in there too. Every time.
It's gotten to the point where I am only attracted to pussies, but whenever I try to find porn I get anxious from seeing their faces, because they look so confident and menacing. I can not really jerk off to anything unless I go over a week without cumming and even then it's not really satisfying.

>>39252003
How old was your sister at the time? Did you ever out her as a child molester?

>>39251926
Well fuck. Anon confirmed pedo. Lock this sicko up boys

>>39252047
She was 6. I haven't talked to anyone about it and I don't plan on ever doing so. The shame is too much.

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>>39251970
OP is a renowned lover of cocks, in all shapes and sizes

>>39252088
Sure. In the moment I was mostly just confused or even enjoyed it and thinking back on the memory, I get aroused, but it has fucked my sexuality up for life. I will never be able to get a gf. Not even if I got insanely lucky like some other robots, I just wouldn't be able to deal with it.

>>39252003
Your sister did not molest you. You raped her.

>>39252205
You're right! As a male, anon should have known better and stopped her.

When I was 10 years old I started looking at scat and anal gaping porn. It didn't take me long to insert all kinds of things into my anus with as goal stretching it. I stopped doing this when it started bleeding.

>>39252257
What was the biggest object you could fit in your anus at 10 years old?

>>39252273
Axe deodorant spray.

>Be 10
>Cat dies
>Childhood Friend's mom died in front of us before this
>Mom comes from work
>Says to just bag him and throw him in the trash
>Gets me a new cat the next day
>Drown it and throw it over the fence

I never went to therapy and never really talked about it to anybody in person. Maybe that's why I'm so fucked up.

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I'm almost convinced that I have undiagnosed ADD or something.
Everyday at work, my coworkers always comment on how I might have selective-hearing or something. Either that, or I'm just really semi-retarded.

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Severe OCD throughout my teens is the reason I'm such a shut-it nowadays. That and just naturally having shitty social skills.

Autism.
My parents were fine, upbringing too, but the Autism spoiled the fine brew we had going.

Parents divorced when I was 2 or 3. Mom filled my brother's head with her version of the story, which was almost entirely lies. Older brother was old enough for it to fuck him up. My sister and I would've been fine, except that he was made into a sociopath by what my mother did. He bullied me at home a lot when I was a kid. He was worse to my sister though. I was the least fucked up by any of this, especially at the time. But as a result I was never really asked by my parents or stepmother if anything was wrong. It was kind of just left to fester in me. I can't connect to others, and I hate showing any display of emotion.

>>39252458
Well....fuck
Thats not how you end up a healthy well adjusted individual

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>>39252301
Holy shit
Origermarole

>>39251679
Wait, roosters have dicks? I thought birds didn't except for ducks.

>>39255042
What the fuck did you think they have?

>>39252069
>she was 6
anon i think you might be overreacting. Its probably more from your life experience than that moment.

>Be 10
>Live in hometown, have a lot of friends, school is awesome because the teacher is great
>One day, my father decides we're moving, wants a bigger house and be closer to his own friends
>New teacher is a depressed bitch, do not make new friends because cliques were formed ages ago, new house is bigger but old as shit (he said he'd renovate it but he's hardly done anything in 15 years)
>Parents actually threatened to punish me because I would cry when thinking of my old life
>Fail college/job at age 18 because I've associated change with pain and got panic attacks out the ass
>Make some attempts to integrate society anyway, start hearing voices at age 21, diagnosed with schizophrenia and panic disorder, drop out of society
>Parents confront me about this, actually have the guts to tell me they don't recognize me anymore compared to how I was back in my hometown
>25 years old now, have been a shut in since 2013
>Only started to want to get my shit together recently now because my father is going crazy himself and the desire to gtfo is getting stronger every day

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I genuinely think I'm just naturally perverted. When I was five I can remember getting turned on by things I really shouldn't have, like the stench of farts, bondage, and boys dressing up as girls, I also remember getting in trouble for drawing pictures of erect penises in school. I remember getting hard as a rock in public bathrooms in elementary school using a urinal hoping someone would see my penis. Shit is not normal.